


Camp Casanova

by Farquad



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Alternate Universe - Muggle, Alternate Universe - Summer Camp, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Bonfires, Dancing, Drama, First Kiss, First Love, First Time, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, Get Together, Happy Ending, Hide and Seek, Humor, M/M, Marauders, Mystery, POV Remus Lupin, Pining, Pranks and Practical Jokes, Romance, Secrets, Sexual Tension, Slow Build, Smut, Summer Camp, Time Skips
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-17
Updated: 2017-12-06
Packaged: 2019-02-03 14:16:14
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 29
Words: 155,942
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12749979
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Farquad/pseuds/Farquad
Summary: All lonely 11 years old Remus Lupin wants is a friend. But when he arrives at Slughorn's summer camp for teenage boys his world turns upside down since he  finds himself sharing a cabin with three other boys; James Potter, Peter Pettigrew and Sirius Black.As the years pass by Remus finds himself birthing friendships, fighting bullies, but above all battling his own feelings which soon gets out of control.He struggles to keep his biggest secret, and he wonders how he could've fallen so deeply in love.





	1. The Beginning

**Author's Note:**

> Wolfstar Summer Camp AU, can I get an amen? Okay, just kidding...
> 
> Hope you like this fic though, I sure loved writing it!<3
> 
> (All HP characters belong to JK Rowling & English is not my first language just so you know.)

**_Summer of 1971_ **

"We're here."

Remus tore his eyes from the window to look at his mother that sat in the front seat next to his father that drove. The car pulled down to a stop and Remus felt his stomach churn from nervousness.

He didn't want to leave the car.

"Are you coming sweetheart?" His mother smiled at him before she opened the door to the car and stepped outside. Remus heard his father get out as well, walking over to the tailgate to pull out the duffle bag with Remus' belongings.

"Coming..." Remus mumbled, gulping down the growing lump in his throat.

When he opened his door and stepped out on the pebble on the parking lot he glanced upwards and felt himself gasp.

In front of him was a great, old, stony building with the text "Slughorn's Summer Camp for Boys" on it. Looking under it Remus could see a mass of men, women and boys passing in and out the entrance doors. Remus gulped when his eyes trailed the many boys that he would spend the next four weeks with.

Car after car pulled up on the parking lot, making his parents hurry with their goodbyes. Remus found himself getting enveloped in a tight hug by his mother as his father dumped his bag on the ground next to him. Remus felt his heart make an uncomfortable clench when he answered the hug.

He didn't want to be left alone.

"Be a good boy for us now, Remus." His father grunted before he gave Remus a light hug and pat on his back. Remus nodded, not trusting his voice to speak, afraid to start crying at the spot.

"Bye Remus. We'll miss you." His mother smiled at him as she reached out her hand to swipe over his cheek.

"Love you." She said as she ruffled Remus' hair before she turned around to walk back to the car with his father. Remus looked over his shoulder and watched them get in the car and leave. He waved his hand at them but didn't know if they saw it. They were probably happy to get rid of him since they finally could leave for their trip overseas.

Sighing, he crouched down and grabbed his bag by the handles, groaning when he felt how heavy it was.

He dragged the bag to the entrance where he walked inside with the crowd of parents and children. Looking around he saw many boys that looked older than him, but some seemed to be about his age.

Glancing to his left he saw a sign that told him that the camp was for boys of ages eleven thru fifteen. That explained why so many boys seemed older than him. He was only eleven.

He found a line to the check-in, placed himself by the end of it and waited. When it was his turn at the desk he found himself looking up at a chuckling, fat, middle-aged man with a broad mustache. Looking down at his nameplate he read the name _Horace Slughorn_.

"Hello, lad! How can I help you?" He asked with an encouraging nod.

"I'm supposed to stay here for the summer." Remus told him, feeling insecure under the gaze. "In the camp." Remus added.

"Oh! Well, I happen to be the director of the camp." He clapped his belly. "Tell me, my boy, what's your name?"

"Remus Lupin, sir." Remus said, voice almost as low as a whisper.

"Oh, let me see..." Slughorn reached for a folder on his desk and then swiped his index finger over the pages until he found something that he pointed at. He reached for a pen and scribbled something down before he turned his attention back to Remus.

"Alright, now you're checked in." He smiled. "Please follow the yellow signs along the corridor here outside and then head for cabin number 7. That's where you'll stay this summer. More information will be handed out later, but today you're only supposed to make yourself at home in your cabin and you’re your roommates." He motioned for the corridor on Remus' left, but before Remus started walking he realized something that made his stomach clench in worry further.

"Excuse me sir, but did you say roommates?" He piped.

"Well, of course?" Slughorn looked confused. "There are four beds in each cabin, which means that you will share it with three other boys. But don't worry. They're all your age." He smiled before he shifted on the place and told the family behind Remus that he could help them.

Remus slowly lifted up his bag from the floor and walked out of the way, stepping in to the corridor that led to the outdoors. He sighed sadly when he spotted the first yellow sign that pointed forward. He didn't want to be there. He wanted to be home, to read another book or bask in the silence of their house. He didn't like to be this exposed in a new environment.

He didn't look forward to sharing over four weeks with three strangers that were surely to turn out to bully, mock, or tease him for fun. Just like the boys in the village at home. Remus felt his stomach clench again. He wanted to go home to his room.

With nothing else to do he dragged his bag to the end of the corridor and pushed open the doors that led outside. When he'd walked outside he found himself gasping at the scene.

Behind him was the old, big stone building that seemed to function as a service center and perhaps a dining hall. But in front of him was a vast lawn that seemed to go on forever. It met with a big forest on the right, and to the left was a huge lake. Remus smiled when he saw a swing in one of the trees by the lake. He also saw a hammock close by. Perhaps his stay here wouldn't be so bad after all.

Looking forward again Remus saw boys walking to or running around the cabins. Remus could spot ten, dark brown cabins up front, each with its own small stair leading to the door and a number next to it. Remus spotted cabin number 7 and felt his chest constrict with nerves when he saw the door drift close.

There was already someone inside.

Remus crossed his fingers and looked up at the sky. He sent off a silent prayer that whoever was in the cabin wouldn't be mean to him as soon as he stepped his foot inside. For this once he wanted to be left alone.

When Remus heard the door behind him by the main building open he started walking toward the cabin again. He saw two older looking boys run past him, laughing all the way to cabin 1. Remus thought they must be regulars and perhaps fifteen years old.

When Remus was about halfway to the cabin he saw another boy walk past him, though this one looked to be about his age. The boy mumbled something angrily under his breath as he stomped his way to the cabins. He dragged on a nice looking trunk with the initials _S.O.B_ , and he wore beautifully tailored clothes in dark green and silver. Remus felt his uneasiness return when he glanced down at his own clothes. They were old, torn and homemade. And there were several patches around his knees where mother had fixed them.

Remus heard the other boy grunt something and then Remus looked up to watch the boy send a stone flying with a kick. Glancing up at the boy's head Remus saw that the boy had black hair that was a bit too long for boys Remus' age. But he didn't complain; it was Remus' mother's opinion. Remus didn't care if the other kids made their hair long. The only thing he cared about was if they were going to be mean to him or not.

A set of red haired twins ran past Remus as he trailed the dark haired boy on his way to the cabins. Remus saw the twins run into cabin 8, and then watched as a dark haired boy with a crooked nose walked into the cabin as well. Remus scrunched up his nose in disgust when he saw the greasy hair of the other boy. It didn't look hygienic, and suddenly he was glad that he didn't have to share a cabin with him.

When Remus turned his eyes back to the ground in front of him he searched for the dark haired boy. He spotted him walking up the stairs to one of the cabins, but felt his heart jump when he saw which one.

He walked into number 7.

Remus gulped and wiped his sweaty forehead on his sleeve. Okay, so now the cabin was already occupied by at least two out of his three roommates. He didn't want to go inside. He didn't want to be here. They were going to bully him just like everyone else. He knew they would.

He desperately fought back the tears when he reached the first steps of the small stair that led up to the front door. He closed his eyes and breathed in deep. He would have to do this. Right now his parents were on their way to France and they wouldn't turn back only to retrieve him. He had to stay here, even if he desperately didn't want to.

He opened his eyes when he heard a loud laughter come from inside. He thought he heard something land on the floor and then bickering from inside. He didn't want to walk in but when he saw other boys stop to stare or point at him from the other cabins he gathered his courage and placed his hand on the handle and opened the door.

As the door slowly swung open he saw the fancy looking boy rise up from the floor to pat another boy on the back. Remus discreetly walked inside as he took in the new boy's appearance. He had messy black hair and wore rectangular glasses. Just like the other boy he wore expensive looking clothes, but they looked more comfortable and not as still and formal as the other boy's.

Remus turned his head to the side and saw a third boy sitting on the lower bunk of a double bed. He was chubby, had sand colored hair and round cheeks. He was munching on some candy from a bag he held onto with a secure grip as he watched the exchange between the other two boys in the room.

Remus looked above the sand haired boy's head and felt his stomach constrict painfully when he noticed that there only were two double beds in the room. He would have to share it with someone else. And he would probably end up with the top bunk, even though he is afraid of heights.

Remus gulped when he darted his eyes from the left double bed to take in the rest of the room. He saw that the beds were at each side of the small cabin. Next to the beds were four wardrobes, one for each camper Remus supposed. There was only one window, at the far front behind the sofa and small coffee table. And  in front of that there was a shabby looking mat.

On both sides of the door Remus saw two tables with two chairs each. At the tables he found a small supply of papers, pens and rubbers. He sighed when he remembered that the camp wasn't only meant for the campers to have fun.

Remus noticed that the interior was all in a light wood and all the bedsheets were of a deep red color. The cabin looked dull, boring and like it hadn't been used for a long time. Turning his head to one of the corners he saw a spider's web and felt a shiver of fear run down his spine.

No, this cabin had definitely not been used for a long time.

Remus wanted to go home.

"BANG!"

Remus jerked at the spot and snapped his head around, eyes widening in fear when he heard the door slam shut from the wind behind him. He saw the heads of the three boys in front of him turn to look at him for the first time. They all looked a mixture between confused and surprised as they frowned at Remus' strange emergence.

Remus didn't like the attention. He didn't like the way they stared at him, or how they started walking towards him slowly. Remus felt his face heat up from embarrassment over his appearance and his stomach clench uncomfortably. They were going to bully him. They were going to hit him.

He closed his eyes, lips pursed together as he tried to keep control on the threatening tears. He didn't want to be here. He wanted to be alone in his bed at home. Be alone in the only place where he felt safe. The only place where he was free from the evil kids in his village.

"Hi, I'm James. James Potter. Who are you?"

Remus opened his eyes cautiously when he heard the kind but slightly arrogant voice greet him. He saw the boy with the glasses - James - stand in front of him, smiling with his right hand reached out.

"Eh," Remus managed, feeling very confused. Wasn't he going to mock him?

"What's your name?" James asked with an encouraging nod.

Remus wiped his sweaty palms on his worn trousers before he cleared his throat and extended his right hand to shake James'.

"Remus Lupin." He said, voice shaking but his hand firm as he shook James'. If it was one thing his father had taught him it was the importance of a firm handshake.

"Great." James grinned before he ruffled his already messy hair. "So you'll stay here for the summer as well, yeah?" He asked while he walked over to the  trunk that lay on the floor in front of one of the wardrobes.

"Yes," Remus trailed off as he watched the fancy looking boy from earlier walk towards him, steps confident and mysterious glint in his eyes. Remus watched him reach out his hand as he met Remus' eyes.

"Sirius Black." He spoke, voice determined before he blew a strand of dark hair from his face.

"Remus Lupin," Remus said as he took Sirius' surprisingly smooth hand and shook it. Sirius looked into his eyes and that's when Remus noticed the color of them. They were gray, almost silver. Remus had never seen gray eyes before. In his village they were either brown or going on amber like his own.

Remus couldn't stop staring at the eyes. They glistened in the light from the only lamp in the ceiling and looked a different shade of gray every second.

He felt Sirius let go of his hand but Remus didn't look away yet.

"You have golden eyes." Sirius suddenly stated.

"You have silver." Remus answered, feeling way too distracted by the peculiar color to care about anything else. He momentarily felt his worries disappear when he looked into those eyes. He didn't know what it was, but it felt like they reminded him of something...

"Hi, I'm Peter. Peter Pettigrew."

Remus tore his gaze away from Sirius to find the chubby boy standing next to them with his dirty hand outreached. When he saw Remus' frown he hurriedly wiped his hand on his shorts before he reached it out again, all while chewing on some kind of bubble gum.

"Remus Lupin." Remus said for the third time as he took Peter's dirty hand and shook it. Peter's grip was loose and weak. Remus suspected no one had taught him how to shake hands properly.

When their hands parted he watched as Peter walked over to the bed and sat down on it. Then he saw James sit down next to him with a slingshot in his hands. Remus guessed that both bunks of that double bed were occupied so he turned his head to the double bed on the right side of the room.

He felt the uneasiness in his chest return when he saw a jacket lie on the pillow of the lower bunk. It was taken. He would have to sleep in the top bunk.

Remus slowly made his way over to the bed. He felt Sirius follow him until he sat down on the bed, next to the jacket that probably was his. Remus glanced to the far top of the bed and then on the rickety ladder that led up to it. Then he glanced over at the sofa. Perhaps he could sleep on that...

"Where do you want to sleep?" Sirius voice broke through his thoughts and he turned his head to look at him.

"What do you mean?" He asked, voice uncertain.

"Well, we're supposed to live with each other for a month, and you and I have to share the double bed. So where do you want to sleep? Is it okay for me to take the lower bunk or do you want it?" Sirius asked.  Remus struggled to follow the conversation but when his brain caught up he found himself struggling for what to say. Of course he wanted the lower bunk, but if he told Sirius that he might get angry. And perhaps it was a trap. Maybe Sirius would tease him and take the lower bunk anyway even if he told him that he wanted it.

But then Remus remembered his fear of heights and decided to take a risk. He was going to voice his opinion.

"I-I would actually prefer to sleep in the lower bunk if that's alright." He asked, eyes staring at his feet.

"Okay, great." Sirius grinned. "I was actually planning on taking the top bunk anyway, I just wanted to tease you when I saw you glancing longingly at the lower bunk." He chuckled before he rose up from the bed and walked over to James.

Remus felt his cheeks heat up from embarrassment. Sirius had teased him already. Remus didn't understand. Why did so many want to make fun of him?

He felt the painful lump in his throat return when he heard Sirius, James and Peter rise up and walk out of the cabin. The sound from the door echoed in the small cabin and then in Remus' chest. He stared at his worn duffel bag, trousers and shirt and suddenly felt even worse than before. He didn't belong here. He didn't look like the other boys and was probably going to end up alone all summer. Like always.

Sighing, he opened his bag and walked over to the nearest wardrobe to tuck his clothes in it. He didn't even fill up half the space. He only had the shoes on his feet, four spare shirts, three spare trousers, swimming trunks, a towel, about eight briefs and socks, his most comfortable knitted sweater, his pajamas and a jacket. He hoped that the camp had some kind of washing machine since he was supposed to stay there for a month. He also hoped that he wouldn't have to dress up since he didn't own any fancy clothes. Every piece of clothing he owned was either worn out or started to feel too short at the feet.

He felt his curiosity about the other boy's clothes take over him and he sneaked over to James' wardrobe and opened it. He gasped when he saw the hangers and shelves that were filled to the brim with clothes in fancy, smooth and expensive materials. He saw at least five pairs of swimming trunks and three different jackets, but then he quickly closed the doors. Remus already knew that his family was poor. He did not need a reminder, or to compare himself to others.

Remus walked back to his bag and started to empty it. He brought out his hair comb, toothbrush, toothpaste, his supply of fifteen books and then lastly Teddy.

"Hi Teddy." He whispered before he gave the old teddy bear a long hug. He knew that he was a bit too old for toys or to sleep with teddy bears, but he had had Teddy since he was five and he helped him calm down when he was afraid, and helped him to fall asleep.

He released Teddy from the hug and proceeded to place him on his main pillow, underneath the covers. He gave the worn, dark gray fur a long stroke before he hid Teddy under the covers. Then he sat on the bed for a while, mourning the upcoming summer he was sure to spend all alone.

''''''''''

After Remus had ate a small lunch in the dining hall, walked around the whole area of the camp, read fifty pages of a book by the lakeside and then ate dinner by himself at a back table in the dining hall he found himself slowly heading back to cabin 7 to get ready for the night. It was only around eight and the sun was still out, the grounds full of activity, but Remus only wanted to sleep. Sleep and dream that he was back in his own bed, far away from other kids and mean bullies.

During dinner Remus had counted the many boys and got them to be around forty. He guessed about ten of the boys were his own age. The red headed twins had sat with James, Sirius and Peter at a table close to the door, but Remus had sat far back in a dark corner where he had eaten by himself. Like usual.

Director Slughorn had told the campers that the next day was meant to get to know the camp. They were going to walk through the main building, grounds and other areas and then the day after that the activities would start. Slughorn had told them that the camp would offer football, swimming and running as hobbies. Then Slughorn had told them that they would get taught in survival skills, some math's and English as well.

Remus didn't know what he dreaded the most; the other boys or the activities. The only thing he felt confident about was his ability to read and research.

He glanced at his nightstand that was filled with books as he changed into his pajamas. His three roommates had been gone since midday.

Remus sighed.

They were probably off somewhere, playing games, taunting others or just having fun together. Having fun as friends.

Remus blinked away tears when he realized that he probably would end up alone for the rest of his life. For some reason other kids didn't like him. They tormented him, called him names or did other stuff that he didn't like to think about.

He lifted the covers on his bed and climbed in under them, hugging Teddy in the process.

"It's gonna be alright Teddy..." He whispered to the soft teddy bear, but it was mostly to himself. It didn't feel like it was going to be alright though.

He looked around the dark cabin, the only source of light coming from the setting sun outside, covered by the drawn curtains. Remus was thankful for the light, not wanting to think about the monsters lurking under his bed.

He shook his head when a tear finally spilled on his cheek. Big boys don't cry, he told Teddy, but the tears kept falling down to wet the soft fur of the bear.

He closed his eyes and turned to face the wall. It was dark, he was alone and he was afraid.

He realized that those feelings weren't uncommon at home, but he still felt homesick. At home he could play with his imaginary friends or build blanket forts with Teddy. Here he would end up having to act like at school; make himself as tiny as possible and try to blend in with the surroundings, not wanting to be offer to any mean bullies.

"Shh..." He patted Teddy slowly. "Just four more weeks..." He whispered as his voice broke out into a sob at the end. He didn't want to stay there for even one more day. He wasn't going to last four weeks. How could his parents do this to him?

He heard the door open with a creak and quickly silenced his sobs, drying his tears on his pillow as he hid Teddy under the covers. He strained his ears to hear who it was when he heard three loud voices all at once.

"You're mad!" A voice shouted.

"Thanks, I get that a lot!" Another voice sang confidently as they ran, or wrestled - Remus couldn't tell - into the middle of their cabin.

"Wait, shh…!" A third voice silenced the other two. Remus thought he heard footsteps walking his way.

"He's asleep." The last voice whispered, surprising Remus by its thoughtfulness.

The other two mumbled something as they pattered over to the other side of the room to fiddle with their belongings, probably searching for their toiletries or pajamas.

Remus closed his eyes, trying to fall asleep, but soon jostled awake when he heard someone rummage through the wardrobe by his head. Sirius.

When he heard Sirius whisper something to the others Remus recognized his voice as the one that had hushed the others. Remus wondered why Sirius had been so nice to him. If Remus would've been at a trip with the boys from school at home they would have been sure to scream, shout or jump around just to mock him right now.

While listening to the others as they got dressed, brushed their teeth and said good night Remus felt the bed shake as Sirius climbed up to the top bunk and then lied down with a thud.

Opening his eyes Remus saw that the sun had set - the room was pitch dark.

Feeling a sudden jolt of fear he desperately reached for Teddy with a small squeak.

"What was that?"

Remus stopped what he was doing and froze on the bed. Sirius had heard his squeak back then.

"Don't know mate, night." Someone, probably James if Remus recognized his voice right, answered Sirius that grunted before he dropped the subject. Remus relaxed back onto the bed, Teddy clutched tightly to his chest.

He curled into a ball, faced the wall as he closed his eyes again. He longingly thought of his cozy, warm bed back home, how he used to read on their balcony, and of how much he missed his favorite Citrus tea. He remembered the feel of the forest next their house, the smell of the leaves and the thumping of his feet when walking barefoot through the vegetation.

But when his mind wandered back to the incident he dropped all his thoughts about the forest. He didn't want to remember.

He turned around on the bed anxiously for what felt like hours before he finally felt sleep take him, Teddy pressed tightly to his chest and his mind stuck on a one desperate wish - he wanted to go home.


	2. The Friend and The Fiend

Remus woke up to the sounds of his loud roommates the next day. He rubbed the sleep from his eyes as he sat up on his bed, listening to the others conversation.

"Whoa! Did you see his face?" James shouted from the direction of the door.

"Wish I hadn't!" Sirius laughed.

"What do you mean? Who was it?" Peter yawned from the bed across from Remus who had gathered his belongings and made his way over to the bathroom.

"It was that grumpy sleazy geezer Filch." Exclaimed Sirius.

"You know the grumpy man with brown hair? And a cat?" James asked Peter as he sat down next to him on the bed.

"Apparently there's some kind of gathering in the dining hall in five minutes. Everyone has to attend it or something, I don't know." Sirius shrugged before he brushed his fringe from his face, looking calm.

Remus however did not feel the slightest bit calm as he had less than five minutes to get ready, if the conversation he eavesdropped on was correct.

Not wanting to take his changes he slipped into the bathroom, locked the door and got ready faster than you can say 'summer camp'.

When he opened the door again to put back his pajamas he saw that the other three had left already. Even though he knew he shouldn't feel left behind he couldn't help the growing lump in his throat. He didn't like to be alone, but apparently destiny wanted him to be.

When he'd put back his pajamas in the wardrobe and closed it behind him glanced down his body. He checked that the scars on his arms were securely hidden underneath his hand-me-down sweater (that was too warm for the hot summer weather), and that his attire was clean and free of dirt or dust.

Even though he hadn't got to wear the most expensive clothes during his childhood one thing he'd been taught was that clean clothes was important and could make you look better off.

When he was ready to leave he rushed to the door, opened it and ran outside. He saw one or two other boys rush toward the dining hall at the end of the vast grounds, late as well, but none of them seemed to be about his age.

Remus ran until his lungs ached, legs burned and he had to stop to catch his breath. He was just about to slow down his running to a fast walk when he heard someone shout from behind him.

"Watch out!"

He felt something collide with his calf and involuntarily he fell forward, landing on the muddy grass.

He gasped in shock when he heard the squelch from the collision of his clean trousers and the muddy ground. He was covered in grass, mud and dirt from top to bottom.

"Ha ha. Watch your step firstie." The voice laughed, mocking him.

Remus' body got cold. His chest filled with the paralyzing fear that taunted him so often at home. He made to get up from the ground when he felt a shoe land on his back, forcefully stomping him back down on the ground.

"Did I say you could get up?"  The voice spat evilly.

Remus clenched his jaw. He would not cry. Not here. Not now.

"What do you want?" He asked the grass.

"Who said you could talk? I'm asking the questions here." The voice spat as the shoe stomped on Remus' back once more, forcing a pained whine from him. He hated how weak and vulnerable he felt.

"Malfoy! By Merlin's beard! What are you doing?"

Remus finally felt the shoe leave his back. Daring a glance up he saw Slughorn stumble toward the bully who Remus saw was a tall boy, probably a fifth year, that had long white hair and a handsome face. Though, his eyes looked evil.

As he saw Slughorn drag this 'Malfoy' boy with him to a side door at the main building - probably his office - another man walked toward Remus.

This man was broad, and looked a bit intimidating with his furrow beard and hair that pointed at all directions. He looked grim at first sight but as he came closer Remus saw that his small beetle eyes were kind.

"'ello! Ya need help, lil fella?" The man bellowed with a kind smile that made Remus feel better.

Remus realized that he still laid flat on the dirty ground when he felt around with his limbs.

"Yes, please." He told the huge man that reached out a large hand. Remus took it and then felt himself get heaved up in a second before he was put down on the ground, legs trembling from the landing.

"Was 'e bothering ya?" The man asked, voice loud but not harsh. Remus struggled to understand his accent but got his message.

"Ehm, yes..." He said as he turned his gaze to the ground, feeling ashamed over the fact that he had managed to get bullied on his second day already.

But when he felt a large, warm hand settle on his shoulder he looked up.

"It's okay, let me tell ya. I'll make sure that yer have a fun time here at Sluggy's camp." He blinked at Remus with a kind smile.

"I'm Hagrid by the way. Rubeus Hagrid." He let go of Remus' shoulder in favor of reaching out the hand for a shake.

Remus stared at the hand, baffled for a while before he snapped back to reality and took it.

"Lupin, sir. Remus Lupin." He felt his hand swing up and down harshly from the force of Hagrid's handshake.

"Do you work here...?" Remus asked, his curiousity taking over him as they finished the handshake.

Hagrid let out a chuckle. "You're a clever boy, aren't ya? I'm the keeper of keys and security here at the camp. I've worked here for over twenny years now. Time flies by too quickly these days..." He trailed off as he gazed around the camp.

They both snapped their heads to look at the main building when they heard a loud bell ring. Remus frowned at the sound. He hadn't heard it before.

"Oh! Time for the introduction." Hagrid mumbled as he made to walk away, but then turned around to give Remus a look over while grunting disapprovingly.

"Ya know what? Why don't ya run back and get changed, would ya? I'll tell Sluggy to wait with the information until yer there, okay?" He patted a blinking Remus on the shoulder.

"O-okay," He answered, too shocked by the consideration to trust his voice to say more.

"See ya later then!" Hagrid chuckled before he left for the main building.

"Thank you!" Remus told Hagrid's retreating back as he took off for cabin 7 to change put of his ruined outfit.

''''''''''

After he had changed into a fresh set of clothes and washed the dirt off his face he ran back to the main building, though this time he kept eyes and ears open to locate any approaching bullies.

When he reached the back door he adjusted his clothes, flattened his hair and evened out his breath before he opened it to walk inside. As he walked through the corridor, past the reception desk and then took right to walk through the doorframe to the dining hall he saw that the room was filled to the brim with campers and personnel. When over forty pairs of eyes turned to look at him as he walked in he gulped.

He was the only one arriving this late.

Remus walked along one of the walls till the very far back of the room, avoiding glares by staring at his shoes as he walked.

When he reached an empty seat by the rickety table at the far back he sat down and waited.

"Well then, now we'll begin!" Slughorn bellowed, clapping his hands together at the front.

Remus turned his gaze up from his lap to watch the personnel at the front of the room, spotting Hagrid standing next to Slughorn, smiling at Remus. Remus smiled back at him, wondering if he might have gotten his first friend in what felt like years.

Looking to Hagrid's left Remus saw a grumpy, sleazy looking man with greasy brown hair and worn clothes. By his feet lingered a cat. Filch, Remus remembered his name to be if his roommates had described him right that morning.

To Slughorn's right stood another man, this one tall with a long white beard. He looked very old, but not by any means weak. No, he looked powerful, yet calm and trustworthy from where he hummed next to Slughorn, fingers playing with the end of his long beard. Remus thought that except for Hagrid that man seemed to be the most kind.

Looking around the room some more Remus saw other personnel stand along the walls, watching over the campers. Remus guessed they were security, cleaners or chefs from the kitchen.

Then he saw a couple of women and raised his eyebrows in surprise. He had thought the camp was only for men and boys, but he must have been wrong.

"As many of you probably know already I am Director Horace Slughorn. The owner of the camp." Slughorn said as he looked around the room, trying to gain eye contact with as many boys as possible.

Since Remus sat so far back the noisy kids were in front of him, bickering with each other or throwing paper planes at the ones in front of them. Feeling annoyed by the ruckus but too afraid to be aimed at Remus huddled back further on his chair, while straining his ears to get what was told at the front.

"Boys between the ages of eleven and fifteen are allowed to stay at the camp that always lasts between the first and thirty first of July."

Remus felt his stomach clench uncomfortably as he was reminded how many weeks he had left.

"I started up the camp about twenty years ago, along with my dear acquaintance Minerva McGonagall that opened her own camp at the other side of the lake."

Remus heard a couple of the older boys inhale a sharp breath, and the boys in front of him began to whisper excitedly with each other.

"Minerva opened an all-girls camp while I opened an all-boys camp, and both have been successful in the many years behind us." Slughorn chuckled proudly.

"And as usual we will have the honor of accompany Minerva and her girls at a couple of occasions this summer, just like usual. We both believe it's good that young girls and boys get to meet, even if it's just for a night or two."

Remus now understood what the ruckus was all about. The boys around him all looked forward to hanging out with the girls from the camp on the other side of the lake, for reasons that made Remus' cheeks heat up.

"The older ones here already know the basics, but some refreshing of the memory can never harm." Slughorn said as he turned around to face the bearded man.

"This is my dear colleague and friend Albus Dumbledore." He motioned at the bearded man that smiled kindly at the boys in the room. Remus felt himself smile back as he saw the man's eyes twinkle in the most mysterious way. He couldn't place it, but he felt like there was something mysterious about him...

"And this is the keeper of keys, Rubeus Hagrid." Slughorn had turned around and now motioned at Hagrid that was about three heads taller than Slughorn. However, even though Hagrid was a broad man Slughorn's belly was loads bigger in size.

"This is janitor Argus Filch and his lovely cat Mrs. Norris, that by the way is strictly out of reach. Do not bother her or try to play with her without Filch's approval." Slughorn warned the air while waving his index finger in the air warningly.

Filch muttered something under his breath, evilly glinting out on the crowd. Remus backed further back into his chair when Filch's eyes stopped at him. He didn't like the look of that man.

"We are the main personnel and the ones you are to visit, or alert if something happens  or someone is troubling you." Slughorn's voice turned serious.

"But now, enough about us." He chuckled, bringing a piece of paper from his back pocket and clearing his throat.

"During weekdays you will all attend breakfast between eight AM and nine AM, catch up on your studies or help in the kitchens until midday and then after lunch you are to proceed with your activities until three PM. Then you'll have the day off to do whatever you like." Slughorn said as he folded the paper before he place it back in his pocket.

"You are allowed to swim in the lake, but do not, and I repeat, do not swim over to the other side of the lake. If you want to accompany any of the ladies over at Minerva's camp I can assure you that the opportunity will come later on."

"You are allowed to play in the forest but please remember that there's an electricity fence in there. Don't risk fate by running into it, or even climb over it." Slughorn sighed and Remus guessed that campers before him had tried to escape and got burned on the fence. Remus didn't know how to feel about that.

Did people try to escape from here?

"Lights out are by ten PM on weekdays, but can be up till midnight on the weekends depending on the occasion. Any questions?" Slughorn asked the room that got noisier by the minute, eager boys whispering to each other.

Looking around, Remus spotted his three roommates sitting at a table on the other side of the room. His eyes followed the expensive looking sleeves of a blazer before they made their way up to a pale face. Remus quickly looked away when he saw that Sirius was watching him.

Suddenly, Remus hoped he didn't look as lonely as he felt.

"Good. After breakfast the first years are to follow Hagrid here for a more detailed tour around the grounds, but other than that we are finished with the introduction. I hope you will all enjoy your stay here. Happy camping!" Slughorn bellowed, patting his stomach as he walked out of the dining hall in the direction of his office.

Remus watched as Filch, Dumbledore and the other personnel walked around to head to their chores. Remus turned his gaze back to stare at the surface of the rickety table underneath his hands when he heard forty pairs of chairs pull out at the same time, every boy in the room eager to pick breakfast from the serving table.

"'ello lad, can I sit here?"

Remus startled. He snapped his head around until it landed on a broad figure standing in front of the table.

Hagrid.

"Ehm, well," Remus started, feeling his cheeks heat up.

"That a 'yes'?" Hagrid chuckled before he placed two trays of breakfast down on the small table and reached out to drag a thin chair over to stand next to Remus. Remus didn't think the chair would hold for Hagrid's weight and expected it to break when he sat down, but to his surprise it didn't.

"Here ya go." Hagrid pushed one of the trays to lay in front of Remus that gaped at Hagrid.

"You want to sit with me? Ehm... sir?" Remus whispered, frowning at the kind man next to him, feeling confused by his kindness.  

Remus had sat alone for as long as he remembered and wasn't sure how to act when someone suddenly wanted to hang around him.

"Well, 'course I do! Yer a nice fella." Hagrid nudged Remus' shoulder, the force threatening him to fall out of his chair.

"O-okay..." Remus mumbled as he reached for his fork to eat some of the scrambled eggs.

Remus and Hagrid ate their breakfast together, sometimes in silence, sometimes while chatting about idle things such as the weather. Remus wasn't used to the attention, or to the feel of having a friend, but he was thankful. Perhaps he could survive the four weeks at the camp if he could turn to Hagrid for help. The mere knowledge that Hagrid had his back already helped.

When Remus finished his last piece of bacon he felt better than he had done since he first left home. Sure, Hagrid worked there and wouldn't be able to hang around (protect) him all the time, but Remus was happy to finally have a friend.

Hagrid patted him on the back before he walked off with their trays. "Time for ya walk thro' the grounds now. Follow me." Hagrid told him over his shoulder with a smile.

Remus followed Hagrid to the front of the dining hall and watched as other first years joined them. He saw the red headed twins run up next to him, probably competing with each other, and then watched as the quiet, lanky boy with long greasy hair placed himself a great bit far from Remus. In fact so far away Remus wondered if he smelled or something. Remus took a sniff in his armpit, but when he didn't smell anything funny he narrowed his eyes at the boy, but quickly looked away when he saw the boy send a glare his way.

A fourth boy joined them. This one had short brown hair and features that reminded Remus of Malfoy. The boy had some good features, but his eyes were evil.

Hagrid opened his mouth to speak when Remus saw his roommates join them. James at the front with Peter trailing him tightly behind, and Sirius walking a bit further away, looking bored.

Remus narrowed his eyes at Sirius. How could he look bored? Didn't he have two great friends, beautiful features _and_ expensive clothes? He should look happy!

Sirius darted his eyes to the side to give Remus' worn outfit a look over and Remus quickly looked away. Sirius probably thought he looked poor or something in comparison to himself.

"Right lads!" Hagrid said as he gathered them in a half circle in front of him. "Now I'll go thro the grounds with ya, but first why don't ya tell me yer names?" He looked at them expectantly.

When no one answered Hagrid grunted as he turned his attention to Remus.

"Why don't ya start? So Rem- I mean, what's yer name, boy?" Hagrid winked at him.

Remus felt his cheeks burn from the attention he got from the other boys.

"Remus Lupin sir." He nodded, staring at his shoes.

He then heard Hagrid ask the other boys the same thing. He heard the red headed twins call themselves Fabian and Gideon Prewett, Peter told them his name, then James, but when Hagrid got to Sirius and he told them his name was Sirius Black Remus heard a loud snort from next to him.

Glancing from the corner of his eyes Remus thought he saw the greasy-boy and the evil-boy share a disgusted look and then snort in the direction of Sirius.

Did they know each other?

Looking up Remus saw Sirius and James whisper and send glares at the other boys. Meanwhile Peter, Gideon, Fabian, Hagrid and Remus all watched the exchange in mild disbelief.

"Okay, okay," Hagrid grunted, trying to break through the odd scene.

"What's yer name then?" Hagrid asked the greasy-boy.

"Severus Snape." The greasy-boy said as his lips curled and his eyes sent glares toward Sirius.

"Alright..." Hagrid scratched his chin through the beard. "How about you then?" He asked the last boy.

"Rosier. Evan Rosier." He snorted and straightened his back some more. That made Remus' eyes dart to the clothes that reminded him a lot of Sirius' attire.

Rosier wore expensive looking shorts and a shirt with a blazer that had something pressed on the chest pocket that looked almost like a crest.

Remus' eyes widened. Was he noble?

His eyes darted to Sirius' blazer immediately, seeking the expensive looking fabric until he found the chest pocket. He narrowed his eyes until he saw it - another crest.

Suddenly Remus wondered where his parents had sent him. This didn't seem like a summer camp for boys. It seemed more like somewhere the rich parents sent posh kids over the summer, not wanting to deal with them themselves.

Remus gulped as he flicked his gaze to look at his worn shoes.

He didn't belong here.

'''''''''

Hagrid walked them out of the man building, to the lake and beach side where he motioned for the gray house on the other side of the lake - McGonagall's girl's camp. The mere sight of the house made James and the Prewett twins jump around on the spot excitedly.

After that Hagrid walked them over to the forest, motioned inside telling them about the fence that was put up about two hundred meters inside it, as Remus still wondered why a fence was necessary.

Hagrid walked them through the small football pitch that was close to the forest and then told them about the different activities they would have to sign up for before the day's end.

They could do swimming with Dumbledore as leader, which Remus' turned down immediately, not wanting to flaunt with his scarred body.

The other option was football with Filch as leader. Remus shook his head at that. He didn't like Filch very much, plus the fact that he was bullocks at football and team games. He was always picked last, if ever picked at all.

So when Hagrid told them about the third and last activity that he was the leader of, running, Remus realized he would have to stick with that. He wasn't very good at it, but he had some experience from having run from bullies more times than he could count.

Remus would have liked to participate in activities such as reading, writing or even painting. Things you could do on your own, in a quiet room or by the lakeside calming down.

He might even have liked to learn different survival skills in the woods, like learning how to make a fire or something, but when he had taken Hagrid to the side and voiced his opinion Hagrid had told him that those were things they did on the weekends, and only on rare occasions.

Hagrid let the eight boys off after the presentation of the grounds and when Remus saw the boys head back for their cabins Remus did the same.

With his back hunched and head held low he made his way back to cabin 7, trailing after his three noisy roommates.

He fetched a loose shirt and trousers that were patched on the knees from his wardrobe, and put them on in the security of the bathroom before he walked back outside to eat lunch.

He ate his lunch, meatballs with mashed potatoes, in silence by the table he'd sat by for breakfast. While he ate he glanced around at the many boys that cheered, bickered or played with each other. Remus finished his meal with the well-known feeling of loneliness.

Then he was off to the running area for his activity hours.

He headed for the running area that was marked out with a sign by the back door of the main building. Remus guessed that the participants were to run around the grounds and back for a couple of laps since there wasn't any specific equipment around.

He was the first one to arrive, but soon other boys made their way over to the sign as well. Remus watched as a couple of tall fifth years walked towards him, after them some second years. Soon the area was crowded by boys, not odd considering there were really only three activities to choose from.

Over fifteen boys had gathered by the sign at the time Hagrid appeared, carrying a lumpy bag. When he'd got the attention of the boys he told them that he had got water bottles, towels and some running shoes to lend out if anyone needed to borrow.

Remus looked down at his shoes. They were old, worn and the soles started to loosen at the front.

He glanced over to the shoes the fourth year boy next to him wore - they looked to be of a different material, had elastic laces and seemed fit for running.

So Remus walked over to Hagrid and asked him if he had a pair in his size.

Hagrid smiled at him knowingly before he rummaged through the bag and gave him a pair that were white with yellow details. Remus widened his eyes in shock. They looked new, and expensive.

He opened his mouth to tell Hagrid that they were too nice for him to borrow, that he would end up dirtying them or something when a voice to his right got his attention.

"Hagrid sir? Do you perhaps have any running shoes in my size?"

Remus watched as Sirius Black placed himself next to him. His fancy clothes were long forgotten, and instead replaced by a thin tank top and short shorts. Remus tore his eyes from the bare legs feeling his cheeks heat up. My god, he was nearly naked!

But then Remus glanced at the other boys around them and saw that they all wore either shorts or thin shirts. None of the others wore all-covering clothes like Remus.

He gulped nervously and hoped that Hagrid wouldn't make him take any of his clothes off. He didn't want anyone to see his scars.

"'course I have a pair for ya, Sirius!" Hagrid searched the bag for a pair of shoes that looked similar to the ones he'd lent Remus, except that Sirius' had gray details.

"Thanks Hagrid." Sirius smiled at him, but the smile didn't reach his eyes. Remus frowned at that, and saw Hagrid frown as well.

"Hey, ehm," Hagrid suddenly spoke to Sirius. "Why don't ya hang around Remus on today's lesson, yeah? Yer both new and all?" Hagrid looked between Sirius and Remus expectantly.

Remus startled in fear when he heard the proposal. He did not want Sirius to feel pressured to hang around with him. Or more like, having to drag Remus along since he probably would be slower than Sirius.

"...Okay." Sirius said after a second of thought. He gave Remus a nod before he kneed down to change his normal shoes to the running ones. Remus kneed as well, but kept some distance to Sirius, not wanting him to see his worn shoes in detail.

Remus watched as Sirius got up and placed his shoes back in the bag. Remus did the same but covered his under one of the towels. And then when he saw Sirius reach for a water bottle he took one for himself as well.

"Listen up!" Hagrid exclaimed after he had lent out shoes to some more boys.

"Today yer going to run four laps around the grounds as a start up." He motioned to the grounds behind them. "The older ones are allowed to run seven, but you need to finish within ninety minutes, okay?" He spoke mostly to a couple of fifth years who elbowed each other in the ribs, ready to take off running already.

"Now we'll warm up!" Hagrid said as he clasped his hands together.

"Wood, ya take the lead, would ya?" Hagrid pointed at one of the fifth years, a lanky boy with brown hair and freckles who chuckled and shook his head as he made his way to the front of the crowd.

Remus watched this 'Wood' started moving his body in odd angles. Remus felt confused, and it got worse when he saw the other boys start doing the same. But not wanting to stand out Remus imitated them, and after a moment he understood that they were stretching.

When the warm up was done most of the boys were huffing from excitement or anguish as they were about to start running. Remus shook his arms and ran on the spot for a while. He liked the feeling of the running shoes as they supported his feet and made him feel light at the same time.

"Off ya go!" Hagrid chanted, whistling the first ones good bye.

Remus watched as the oldest boys took off at an incredible speed. After them joined others and soon all the boys had ran or jogged away, leaving Remus and Sirius behind with Hagrid.

"You coming?" Sirius asked over his shoulder as he took off as well.

"Y-yes!" Remus stuttered, struggling to catch up to Sirius.

When Remus caught up with Sirius they started running together at a slow pace as Remus trailed the faster boys in front of them with his eyes. He didn't get how they got the energy to run so fast.

He glanced to his right and saw Sirius' black hair whip around him with every step. His high cheekbones reflected the sunlight and his grey eyes shining silver. For a second Remus came over the realization that Sirius was really quite handsome.

Though, he quickly flicked his eyes back to the road when he saw Sirius' eyes dart to the side to watch him. Remus resolutely turned his head to his left, trying to avoid Sirius' prying eyes.

"Aren't you warm?" Sirius asked from next to him.

"What do you mean?" Remus said in between steps as he reluctantly turned his head back to Sirius. He saw Sirius eye him over, brows furrowed.

"You're wearing a long sleeved shirt and trousers in July, while running, at midday when the sun's at its peak." Sirius lifted one brow, looking into Remus' eyes.

"Oh." Remus said before he staged a cough to earn him time, not sure what to say.

"I would be boiling if I were you." Sirius gave him a knowing look before he turned his eyes back to the grass in front of them, jumping over a breach,

"Well, ehm..." Remus wiped his sweaty forehead on his long sleeve. "I only brought long shirts with me. Didn't know we would be running."

Sirius was silent for a while, brushing through his hair with his fingers.

"I don't believe that." He said, sounding serious. Remus felt his heart jolt. He hoped Sirius wouldn't demand him to undress or something.

"Who only brings long sleeved shirts to a summer camp?" Sirius said while he frowned at the ground.

"...Me," Remus said after a moment of silence, trying to convince him.

"No, but wait. What if I borrowed you one of my tank tops? Would you like that?" Sirius suddenly asked, slowing them down to jog on the spot, turning around to look Remus in the eyes.

Remus felt like a rat in a trap.

"That's really nice of you, but..." He trailed off, not wanting to lie.

"But?" Sirius looked really curious.

"But no thank you. I like my long shirts." Remus finished off quickly, starting running forward again.

Sirius caught up with him in a second, chuckling lightly.

"Okay, okay, I'll drop it." He threw his hands up in the air in surrender, making Remus frown at him.

What did he want? Why did he care if Remus wore long sleeved shirts in the middle of summer? Why did he stay with him? Hagrid didn't see them anymore; it would be easy for Sirius to just take off faster, leaving Remus behind.

They ran in silence for two laps, the only sounds coming from the other campers or by their exhausted breathing. Remus was ready to collapse as they started on their last lap, not used to this kind of exercise.

Glancing to his right he saw Sirius run next to him, his forehead covered by a sheen of sweat, but his eyes set on a determined expression.

"Where are James and Peter?" Remus heard himself ask all of a sudden.

"Huh? Oh, ehm," Sirius looked past Remus' shoulder, searching for something with his eyes. "Those wankers are over there with Filch playing football." He shrugged.

Remus nodded. He didn't know why he'd even asked the question.

Not knowing what to say or ask next they both fell into silence again.

''''''''''

They finished their fourth lap sweaty and out of breath. And after drinking a whole bottle of water Remus sat down on the grass to watch as the older boys came back, some of them proudly exclaiming that they'd ran seven laps.

When all was back Hagrid told them that the ones that had borrowed shoes could keep them for the rest of the summer.

Then Hagrid called the day's activity hours finished and the boys went off in different directions all at once. Remus saw Sirius head in the direction of the football pitch, Wood head for the lake and the rest, unknown faces walk toward the cabins.

Remus followed them.

He took a show and changed into another set of clean clothes, but stopped and frowned when he realized that he'd already used about three sets of clothes in only two days.

He had to find the washing machine.

So he headed out with his dirty clothes under his arm and headed for the main building, looking for something to use to make his clothes clean again.

He headed alone and didn't look back. He knew no one would want to tag along anyway. He had no friends after all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you liked this chapter!
> 
> Poor Remus is all alone. :( 
> 
> But it gets better!


	3. A Wish

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you like this chapter!

After successfully having found the utility room and cleaned his clothes Remus headed back to cabin 7 to read before dinner.

He ate his dinner in solitude before he walked back to the cabin to finish reading the book. By nine o'clock he finished it, and felt the tiredness from the running earlier catch up to him.

He made himself ready in the bathroom before he curled up under the covers of his bed and clutched Teddy close to him with a tight grip. He fell asleep within ten minutes while keeping his mind on nice things such as books, silence and the chill of a cold autumn breeze.

The next two days followed the pattern of the second. Remus woke up to the sounds of his noisy roommates getting ready for the day, eating candy with each other or running around playing games inside the small cabin while Remus tried to melt in with the background as he read book after book.

Remus ate breakfast alone, then listened to Slughorn as he made the boys solve different math equations or improve their English. Then he ate lunch alone, ran with Sirius in silence on command by Hagrid, ate dinner alone and then headed back to read until he climbed up in bed with Teddy before the other three got back for the night.

Remus was homesick.

He desperately wanted to get out of the camp. He started daydreaming about running into the forest, climbing over the fence to the unexplored other side. But he knew it would never work. The fence was electric and he had nowhere to escape to anyway. His parents were overseas by now. He had to stay at the camp.

On the fifth day, on the first Monday, Remus found himself walking towards the lakeside with a book in his hands after practice with Hagrid. His legs ached from the extensive exercises but he didn't even flinch when his muscles ached as he sat down next to the shore. He didn't want any of the other boys to think of him as weak.

Remus leaned his back against a tree and gave the lake a look over. The water was light blue, reflecting the summer air above. There was a small beach before the water surface and the sand was damp under Remus' trousers. He lowered a hand to run a finger through the sand before he drew a star in it.

He snapped his head up when he heard a loud girly squeak. Searching the lake he saw the figures of five girls on the other side of it. He squinted at them; they looked like five black blobs.

Then he saw one girl wave in his direction. And glancing over his shoulder to make sure the wave was aimed at him and not someone standing behind him he tentatively waved back. He smiled when he saw the girl begin to wave more frantically as she walked into the water.

As she stepped into a ray of sunlight he could make out the color of her hair. It shone bright red, reminding him of the Prewett twins, but darker, more appealing.

He saw one of the other girls follow her out into the water while motioning for Remus to get in as well. Quickly he lowered his gaze to stare at the book in his hands. Perhaps they wouldn't make him feel obligated to jump in as well if he ignored them.

However, his attention was soon turned to something else when he felt someone push his back forcefully, sending him tumbling into the water face first.

"Ha! Serves you right firstie." A vicious voice laughed behind him as he tried to save his book from the water, having clutched it beneath his arms to his chest.

He let one hand go of the book to try and crawl back up to the shore when he felt a shoe land on his back, sending him underwater again. He sputtered and let go of the book as he tried to get up for air. He couldn't breathe.

"Look at him. Pathetic." A new voice exclaimed when Remus coughing broke through the water surface. His body trembled from the chock of almost drowning to death, but he still tried to stifle his coughs as much as he could.

Someone clicked with their tongue at him, and glancing up Remus saw Malfoy snarl at him with his arms crossed over his chest. Behind him stood the greasy-haired boy Remus remembered as Snape and next to him a tall, pale looking boy that looked like the most evil of the bunch.

"What were you thinking firstie? Were you _flirting_ with the girls, huh?" Malfoy laughed at him, his companions joining him. Remus felt his cheeks burn from humiliation. He hadn't been flirting with them. He had just waved back at them. He was about to read his book.

The book!

Remus quickly searched the sand and stone filled bottom of the lake with his hands, searching for his book. It was one of his favorites; Oliver Twist. And he had just got to his favorite part in it. He only had one copy. He couldn't afford losing it...

"Ow!" Remus groaned as he felt something hard land on his left hand, almost crushing it. He realized it was a shoe, and glancing up he saw the third boy tower over him, his shoe clad foot stomping on Remus' hand.

"Lucius asked you a question." He spat as he gave Remus' hand a final stomp before he walked back to his spot behind Malfoy, or Lucius which apparently was his first name.

"Were you flirting with the girls, firstie?" Malfoy asked mockingly.

"N-no!" Remus sputtered desperately. He was soaking wet all over and he just wanted to go home.

"Don't lie to me!" Malfoy shouted before he reached out and grabbed Remus by the collar. Remus' eyes widened in fear, and as he didn't want to anger Malfoy further he desperately shook his head.

Malfoy narrowed his eyes at him. "Well, I guess it doesn't matter now, does it? None of them would want you anyway. No one would." He hissed as he shoved Remus back into the water before he walked back to the shore again, evil glint in his eyes.

"Rudolphus, get the book for me." Malfoy ordered as he waved his hand in Remus' direction, motioning for the third boy - Rudolphus - to retrieve Remus's book.

"Severus, you make sure he doesn't try anything funny until I get back." Malfoy told Snape before he walked away, probably heading to his cabin.

Remus watched as Snape crossed his arms over his chest, tired eyes glaring at Remus, making sure he was in place. When Remus saw Snape's thin arms he suddenly wondered which activity he'd picked. He didn't seem fit enough to even lift a toothpick.

"You stay where you are." Rudolphus warned Remus as he tried to make his voice sound deeper than it was as he slowly approached him that still sat in the lake.

Remus watched as Rudolphus searched the lake bottom for the book all the while Remus groaned anxiously when he thought of what they might do to his favorite book if they got their hands on it.

Then he got an idea.

As smoothly as he could he searched the bottom with his right hand (his left still felt sore from the shoe earlier) and then felt his fingers ghost over the old hardcover. Slowly he folded his fingers around it, pulled it towards him. All the while he kept eye contact with Snape, not wanting him to suspect anything.

Quickly, he jumped up from the water, wet book clutched tightly in his right hand. Before Snape or Rudolphus had time to register Remus had spurted from the water and ran up on the shore, taking off in the direction of the forest.

He shot a swift glance over his shoulder and saw the girls on the other side of the beach shake their fists in the air, and partly saw his bullies react to his departure as they took after him.

Remus turned his eyes back to the grass in front of him just before he ran into someone. As he brushed past the boy's shoulder Remus recognized it as being Peter from his cabin. But he didn't have time for apologies so instead he ran the fastest he could toward the forest.

When he reached the first couple of trees he ran even faster, stumbling on the grass and wet hair sticking to his face. He ran until he reached the and stopped only when he heard the low vibrations from the electricity running through it.

He thought he heard branches break from the direction of the camp. The fear of the bullies surged him with adrenaline as he desperately looked around for somewhere to hide.

He saw an old oak tree to his far right and ran to it, and after gathering his courage for three whole seconds he reached for the lowest breach and hauled himself up. He had only climbed a tree one time before, but somehow he managed to climb all the way to the top breaches, successfully hiding himself in the leaves.

He leaned his back against it and finally relaxed. He had escaped the bullies.

Though, when he heard the hissing voices of Snape and Rudolphus and the angry voice of Malfoy from just underneath the tree a while later he didn't feel as safe anymore. He held his breath and closed his eyes as he begged to whoever's out there to _please_ make them go away.

He counted to one hundred in his head until he heard the footsteps of his bullies fade away slowly. Remus sighed in relief.

He shifted on the thick breach he was straddling, trying to find a more comfortable position when he remembered the book in his hand. He felt tears burn in his eyes when he flipped the wet book open. He saw the pages threaten to fall from the cover, the book throughout soaked.

Remus flipped the paged until he reached page 117. He started reading from where he had taken off the day before, hoping that he could make out some of the words before they all ran off the pages.

''''''''''

Remus sat on the thick breach and read his soaked book as good as he could.

His clothes were wet and cold and he was freezing. But he wasn't going to climb back down. Not yet. No, he would wait for curfew until he dared to leave his hiding spot. He knew from experience that bullies liked to wait out their pray. And he would not make it easy for them by going back already.

So Remus continued to read his book, body shaking, teeth clattering and stomach churning since he missed dinner.

He read until the sun slowly left the sky, instead letting through the inhabitants of the night sky. Remus turned his head up to glance through the leaves of the tree. He could make out a star or two but it still wasn't dark enough to see them all. He had no idea what time it was but he guessed it was still some until midnight.

Suddenly Remus wondered if anyone would even realize if he was missing after midnight. He shook his head when he thought about the fact that his roommates probably wouldn't think twice if he went missing. He didn't know them after all.

Remus felt a strong shiver shake him. He wrapped his arms around himself before he made to stand up on the breach. He dared himself to climb higher, not stopping until he could peek through the highest breaches and leaves.

When climbed as far as he could he looked in between the leaves and saw the ground of Slughorn's camp meet his eyes. He watched as the last couple of boys left the grounds for the warmth of their cabins. Then he turned his head around and felt his eyes widen. The forest on the other side - it was enormous. It went on for as far as his eyes could see, the end of it meeting with the horizon.

Lifting his gaze Remus saw more stars make themselves noticeable on the night sky. Glancing around he could make out the big dipper, and above it little bear. But those were the only constellations he could name from his head.

He looked around until his eyes locked on the moon. It was almost full, slowly waning but still lightning up the grounds with its light.

Remus felt a mixture of calm and excited as he watched the moon travel the sky. This high up in a tree it felt like he was almost flying, floating, or traveling around in the sky _with_ the moon. It didn't feel like he watched the night sky. It felt like he became it.

He closed his eyes as he inhaled a big breath of cool air.

Up here, with the stars as his only spectators, no one tormented, bickered or annoyed him. Here he could be himself, relax and act however he wanted. The stars weren't going to scold him or make him do something he didn't want to. Here be could be free.

Opening his eyes he turned them back to the big dipper. He counted the stars on the wagon, one, two, three, four, but stopped when he felt an aching pain set in his chest. He would never be four. He was bound to be a one. Bound to live alone for the rest of his life.

No one wanted to spend time with him. No one wanted to be his friend.

Remus felt tears burn in his eyes. He wiped them away with his damp sleeve and gulped down the growing lump in his throat. He didn't want to be alone anymore. He didn't want to stay at the camp. He wanted to feel free. Wanted to be one of the happily twinkling stars among others.

He didn't want to be alone.

Looking around the sky for a lonely star to lock his gaze upon he found a bright star to the right of the big dipper. He looked at it but then squinted when he thought he saw something next to it, yes, there...

Below the bright star was a smaller one whose shine was weaker. He looked at it and then followed it as it travelled past the bright star on its way over the sky. He followed it until it reached the wagon, then slowly burned out and disappeared into thin air. Remus blinked as he stared at the spot where it'd disappeared.

Then it hit him.

"A shooting star!" He whisper-shouted to himself in joy. They were unusual and he had never seen one himself before.

He wiped his tears away on his sleeve as he remembered that you're allowed to make a wish when seeing a shooting star. He searched his mind for something to wish for when he thought back to his feelings only moments ago.

He already knew what to with for.

"I wish for a friend." He clasped his hands together like a prayer towards big dipper where he had seen the shooting star and closed his eyes.

"I wish for a friend that will like me for the one I am. That will play with me out of their own will.  I wish for a friend that will not make fun of me like all the other kids. I want a friend to make me feel happy instead of sad. I don't want to be alone anymore. _Please_." He pleaded to the silent night, his voice breaking at the end. He let his words set for a while until he opened his eyes and made to climb down from the oak tree.

He retrieved his soaked book from where he'd left it on the thick breach and then slowly climbed down the tree. He stumbled on the last bit, fell and landed on the hard ground with a painful groan. He rubbed his side before he stood up from the hard ground.

Remus listened for the buzzing fence, not wanting to burn himself on it now that it was dark in the forest.

His clothes were still damp, but now also muddy and covered by moss and leaves. Sighing, he hoped that his roommates would've already gone to bed when he got back. He hoped he wouldn't have to explain what he'd done in a tree for the past hours.

Taking the book with a firm grip in his right hand he made his way back in the direction of the camp. It was probably close to midnight and the forest was almost black in the darkness. The only source of light came from the moon, and the only sounds came from his shoes that broke through the vegetation and from the fading buzz form the electric fence.

Suddenly the two hundred meters deep forest felt longer than before and Remus was afraid that he'd got lost. But then he saw a lamp-post and saw the side of a cabin outlined in between the trees in front of him.

He stumbled forward toward the lamp-post, his eyes struggling to adjust to the light after having spent the last hour in complete darkness.

He made his way out from the forest feeling like a mess. His stomach growled in protest and his entire body trembled from the wet clothes he'd worn for too long. And he didn't dare to think about his left hand that still ached from having being stepped on.

But Remus didn't care if he felt sick. What he truly cared about was his book. His favorite book that got destroyed.

Remus made out the number on the cabin in front of him - number 10.

Mumbling, he made his way over the line of cabins, listened to loud laughter's and shouts coming from them, none of the campers seeming to be tired at all.

When he finally made his way over to cabin 7 he let out a sigh of relief. He would finally be able to reach his bed, hug Teddy and fall asleep.

Stumbling, he grabbed the railing to their small stair as he slowly made his way toward the entrance.

He opened the door and walked inside.


	4. Change

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you like this chapter!

Remus flung himself inside before he turned around to close the door silently behind him. He startled when he accidentally slammed it shut.

"Remus!" Someone exclaimed, sounding surprised.

Remus turned around on the spot and saw James, Sirius and Peter sit cross-legged on the floor in the middle of the dorm, sharing some candy between them. Remus frowned at them, confused. He wondered why they'd greeted him, but then he remembered his appearance.

Remus threaded his fingers in his tangled hair and felt lumps of mud loosen from it. His eyes widened when he glanced down at his throughout messy appearance. He felt himself stumble at the spot, dizzy as his exhausted body longed to shut down.

He made to walk over to his bed, but stopped when he remembered that he didn't want to either mess up his clean bedsheets or Teddy. Instead he found himself making his way over to the couch where he slumped down with a loud huff.

His body immediately relaxed and he felt himself stop shivering. The sleep crept up on him almost instantly and it felt like he was being swept in nice clouds of cotton. Just as he felt sleep take him however, he heard a voice close by.

"Where have you been? What happened?" Remus recognized the voice as Sirius'.

"No'ing," Remus mumbled while turning around on the sofa so his back was turned to Sirius, but strained his ears when he heard another set of feet approach.

"He's ice cold." The new voice - James- exclaimed as Remus felt a warm hand land on his shoulder.

"There's mud and leaves all over him." Sirius stated in disbelief.

"Yeah, I can see that..." James trailed off, hand leaving Remus' shoulder.

The cabin was silent for a while and Remus saw his opportunity to fall asleep. He felt his breath slow down as he drifted off again.

"Want to help me get him in the shower?"

Remus' eyes snapped open. What!?

"Yeah, sure, of course. Just tell me what to do." James sounded deadly serious.

"Want me to help?" Peter asked.

"No, you prepare a set of fresh clothes instead. Take some of mine, alright?" Sirius ordered over his shoulder.

The Remus felt two pairs of hands lift him up under his knees and armpits. He struggled against them as he felt his panic take over him, but they wouldn't let him go.

He didn't understand. Why couldn't they just let him fall asleep?

"Calm down, _Lupin_." James hissed as he struggled to keep his grip under Remus' armpits.

"Let go off me, _Potter_!" Remus shot back, wriggling his shoulders as much as he could, trying to make James loosen his grip. Remus desperately didn't want to show anyone his scars.

"Stop it, the both of you." Sirius scolded them.

"I'm _serious_! Let go off me!" Remus shouted as he kicked his legs in the air to make Sirius let go, but he only tightened his grip.

"No, I'm Sirius." Sirius stated in between gritted teeth. James and Peter chuckled at the pun, but Remus didn't have time for things like that.

"Let me go!" Remus screamed.

"Relax!" Sirius shouted at him before he turned his head to stare at Remus. "You do as we say!"

Remus swallowed, felt the growing lump in his throat constrict. Tears burned in his eyes and threatened to fall. Here he was again. He had escaped one gang of bullies that almost drowned him only to walk into another pair of bullies that were going to do the same.

He allowed the tears to fall and stopped struggling. He watched as Sirius opened the bathroom door and then felt himself being carried inside by Sirius and James.

Remus inhaled a shaky breath. They were probably going to make fun of his clothes, make him undress and then make fun of his scarred skin.

Remus closed his eyes in defeat.

"Hang in there Remus."

Remus opened his eyes in surprise. He found Sirius looking at him with a worrisome expression. Remus frowned. Weren't they going to bully him?

"You tired?" He heard James ask from behind.

"...Yes?" Remus answered, unsure of how to feel or react in this situation.

"Just stay awake for a while longer, alright?" James told him, not sounding angry or vicious or any of the things Remus associated with bullies.

"We'll put you down on three." Sirius stated before he counted one, two, three, and he and James slowly lowered Remus down to the bathroom floor. As he sleepily looked around Remus saw that they had leaned him against the shower wall.

"You need a hot shower." Sirius told him, head motioning to the showerhead that James reached for.

Remus frowned at them, but only momentarily as he felt his eyelids drift to a close and head roll to the side.

"Hello!"

Remus' eyes snapped open again when he felt a pair of warm hands pat his cheeks. He came face to face with a concerned looking Sirius.

"Should I get someone?" James asked as he handed over the shower head to Sirius.

"No, or not yet anyway. How about you keep Peter company outside?" Sirius turned around to face James that looked confused.

"But... why?" James looked at Remus.

"I can't explain. I just get the feeling that he doesn't want anyone to see him without clothes on. It's better if it's just me in here with him." Sirius shrugged. Remus was too tired to really comprehend what he was saying.

James still didn't look like he was buying it, but then he probably remembered that he usually preferred slouching with a bag of candy over helping nearly-unconscious people shower back to life.

"Okay. I'm outside with Peter if you need me." James said as he waved his hand once and then turned around, left the bathroom and closed the door behind him.

Sirius cleared his throat.

"Remus, I need you to undress." He spoke seriously.

When Remus only grunted in response Sirius got more determined.

"Remus, I'm going to take your clothes off." He warned.

When Remus felt a hand start working on his top shirt button he retrieved some sense of reality.

"N-no," He mumbled, trying to swat the hand away.

"Yes." Sirius spoke, hurrying on his movements until he had unbuttoned the entire shirt. He parted it and made to take it off when Remus' heard him gasp.

Remus felt his heart sink to the bottom of his stomach.

"Y-you..." Sirius whispered as his eyes darted back and forth over Remus' naked chest. Remus felt a new set of tears trickle down his cheeks. He knew he was ugly. His body was scarred and destroyed for all eternity. H knew he looked horrible but he didn't need Sirius remind him. Remus already hated the scars.

"... _You too_."

Remus snapped his head to the side in shock.

"What?" He croaked, not believing his ears.

"You- you do really need a shower." Sirius mumbled as he quickly tore the shirt off Remus that desperately tried to get his tired brain to work, but failed miserably. 

He let Sirius undress him down to his briefs. He anxiously awaited them to be taken off as well, but to his relief Sirius let them be.

Remus closed his eyes. He didn't want to watch as Sirius' facial features contorted into frown as he took in the sight of Remus' body. Remus heard Sirius rise up from his crouching position and then heard him turn on the water. Remus jerked in surprise when a stream of ice cold water came in contact with his legs.

He opened his eyes to glare at Sirius when he felt the water change into a comfortable warm temperature. He unintentionally shivered as the hot water streamed down his cold body.

"Okay..." Sirius stepped a bit further back as his right hand held out the showerhead. "Just sit there. Don't move, or something. Alright?"

Remus didn't plan on going anywhere so he did as he was told. He sat at the spot while Sirius washed away the dirt and warmed up his body all at once. He finally felt his body temperature slowly get back to normal. He clenched and unclenched his hands once, testing the feel of them now that they weren't cold, but stopped when his left hand constricted painfully.

"What happened to you hand?" Sirius asked.

Remus shook his head, ignored the question. It would probably heal in a couple of days anyway. Sirius mumbled something that got lost in the constant smattering of the water running from the showerhead, but Remus didn't strain his ears to make out what he said.

He felt Sirius turn the temperature up inch by inch and soon Remus felt like his skin was boiling from the heat of the water.

"You're burning me." Remus croaked as he squinted at Sirius. He brought up a hand to shield his eyes from the water that Sirius aimed at Remus' hair.

Sirius hummed before he straightened his posture and turned the water off. Remus watched as Sirius reached for a clean towel from the shelf and then extended it for Remus to take.

"Here, I'll get the clothes." Sirius said as he turned around to open the door. He shouted for Peter who immediately delivered Sirius a fresh set of clothes. Sirius closed the door behind him and walked toward Remus that had narrowed his eyes at him.

"Those aren't my clothes." Remus flicked his eyes between the folded pile of clothes and Sirius' eyes.

"Yeah, you don't have to be Sherlock to know that." Sirius rolled his eyes. "Come on, I didn't want to rummage through your stuff so you'll borrow some of mine, alright? Now dry up already." Sirius placed the pile of clothes on the shelf before he reached out a hand to help Remus stand.

On wobbly legs Remus stood up and wrapped the towel around himself. Then he felt another towel wrap around his hair, and hands squeezing the water from it.

"What are you doing?" Remus sputtered, too surprised to swat the hands away.

"Helping you, what does it look like?" Sirius dried Remus' hair from soaking wet to damp in a matter of seconds. He stepped back and hung the towel on the rack.

"Put the clothes on, I'm outside." Sirius aimed a warning index finger at Remus before he walked out of the bathroom again. Remus stared after him baffled. Why did he care about Remus? Why did he help him? And why hadn't Sirius freaked out or mocked Remus about the scars?

Remus shook his head as he pulled off his briefs to dry himself throughout. When he was done he reached for the clothes. He gasped when he felt the soft, thick material of the sweater and sweatpants. He shot a look at the door, expecting Sirius to run in and prank him or something at any moment, but then he turned his eyes back to the clothes and put them on.

He felt warm, cozy and clean as he made his way over to the bathroom door. His left hand hurt less and the clothes were softer than anything he'd ever worn. He actually felt a small smile tug at his lips when he opened the door and walked into the main space of their cabin.

As he made his way over to his bed though, he saw that Sirius sat on it.

Remus stopped walking, and frowned at the scene. Was Sirius perhaps going to mock him now? Was he going to stop Remus from sleeping in his own bed?

"How are you doing Remus?" Sirius asked as he rose up from the bed.

"...Good." Remus spoke as he slowly made his way over to his bed and sat down. When he saw Teddy splayed on his main pillow he felt himself blush. How did Teddy get there?

He quickly hid Teddy underneath the covers, and snapped his head around to see if anyone had spotted the bear. When he saw the curious eyes of James, Peter _and_ Sirius staring at him he knew they had.

"You still sleep with a teddy bear?" He heard Peter ask from his own bed, sounding confused. Remus felt his cheeks burn from embarrassment. He knew it had been a bad idea to bring Teddy along. Someone was bound to make fun of him for it.

He mumbled something close to a yes, hands fiddling with the sleeves in his lap nervously.

"Cool."

Remus startled. He looked up and saw James flash him a grin from where he sat next to Peter.

"I only just stopped sleeping with mine last year." James spoke, almost sounding proud. Remus felt some of his insecurities fade away. He didn't know how, but somehow James' words made him feel less alone. He felt a tad more normal.

"Here," Remus watched as Sirius walked towards him, arms carrying a blanket.

Remus frowned but when Sirius motioned for him to lie down he did. When he was tucked under his covers, next to Teddy, he watched as Sirius lowered the blanket over him, tucked it in at the sides.

"That's better, right?" Sirius gave Remus a small smile before he sat down at the end of the bed, next to Remus' feet. Remus only nodded, not sure what to say. He didn't think that his roommates toyed with him, but he didn't know why they seemed to care about him either.

He blushed when he heard his stomach growl loudly, gaining the attention from them all when the sound echoed in the silent cabin.

He heard James whisper something to Peter who flicked his eyes to Remus reluctantly but then got off the bed to rummage through his backpack. He brought up a bag of chips that he opened. He offered James a handful before he walked toward Remus.

"Want some?" Peter held the open bag out towards him.

Remus' eyes widened. Were they planning on poisoning him? But then he remembered James that munched on the chips at that exact moment.

Remus opened his mouth to tell him a kind no thanks, not feeling very hungry even though his stomach growled, when he saw Sirius grab the bag from Peter.

"Thanks Pete."  He flashed Peter a grin as he buried his hand deep in the bag. Peter walked back to James, muttering something about running out of chips.

Remus felt Sirius lower the blanket, grab Remus' right hand and lift up up before he placed a chip on his palm.

Remus stared at Sirius, confused, but when he saw Sirius' eyes dart between the hand and Remus' mouth he got the message. So Remus lifted his hand to his lips and ate the chip, eyes widening in surprise at the good taste.

He saw Sirius grin as he placed another chip in Remus' hand, which Remus ate quickly. Soon Sirius had made Remus eat away the growling in his stomach, and had fetched two plastic cups with water for him to drink.

Though, Remus was still unsure about Sirius' motives. He hoped he wasn't being tricked or poisoned or something, but it was difficult to stay suspicious when he lay tucked underneath two warm blankets, in cozy clothes while being fed delicious chips.

He heard James and Peter walk into the bathroom, probably to get ready for the night, and soon Remus found his tired eyelids drift closed again. But this time no one forced him awake. Instead he felt his body sink down comfortably in the mattress as he relished in the soft material that was the fabric of the clothes. He felt his breath slow down and he fell asleep.

''''''''''

Remus woke up the same way he'd fallen asleep; warm and cozy, tucked underneath a set of warm blankets.

He sat up and rubbed the sleep from his eyes, yawned and stretched on the bed. His left hand still hurt but he could move it just fine.

He pattered out of bed to the bathroom. When he was done in there he pattered back to his bed, but startled when he heard the ladder to Sirius' bed creak.

Remus lied still, closed his eyes and listened as Sirius, then James and lastly Peter got up to get ready for the day. Remus thought that if he lay perfectly still then they would leave him be and he wouldn't have to think of the odd, unusual and somewhat embarrassing events of yesterday.

However, his plan failed when he felt someone sit down his legs, making Remus squeak in surprise.

"Told you he was awake!" James chirped before he flung himself off the bed and over to Peter's where he searched through his backpack for any candy to eat.  Peter really seemed to have a limitless supply of candy.

Now that the others knew he was awake it would only seem stupid to pretend he was asleep so Remus sat up on the bed, stretched his legs out in front of him and stoked his palms over the soft fabric of the sweatpants.

He jolted when a pair of trousers were flung his way.

"Here, try these." Sirius sat down next to him, motioning to the trousers that were of a dark brown color, in a thick sturdy material. Remus narrowed his eyes at Sirius. Did he think Remus was some kind of charity project all of a sudden...?

"We'll switch." Sirius flashed him a confident grin. "You really seem to like the clothes I borrowed you, and since I _don't_ like them why don't we switch? Just for today?"

Remus frowned. Why would Sirius want to walk around in Remus' old, patched up trousers that could ritch apart at any moment?

"Come on." Sirius beamed at him, lower lip pouting, and for some reason unknown Remus found himself nodding at him.

Within the next fifteen minutes Remus had dressed in Sirius' fancy trousers, matched with a white shirt that Sirius forced on him, while Sirius dressed himself in Remus' best trousers that were black with dark brown patches on the knees, matched with the long sweater Remus had worn some of the first days.

Remus felt royal in the fancy, high quality clothes he'd borrowed from Sirius, and looking over at how Sirius twirled around the cabin with a mischievous smile he guessed that Sirius felt happy with the switch as well.

"Walburga never lets me wear clothes like this." Sirius explained with a laugh when he saw Remus staring at him, but then Sirius quickly stopped laughing.

"Who's Walburga?" Remus asked curiously.

"No one." Sirius voice had turned into a whisper as his eyes turned haunted all of a sudden. Remus opened his mouth to say something when James dashed out of the bathroom, heading for the main door.

"You coming?" He asked the others in the room, and Remus gaped in surprise when he realized James meant him as well. He couldn't believe it. He wasn't going to eat breakfast by himself.

Hurriedly he trailed James out the door. He felt a small smile tug at his lips as Sirius and Peter joined them. He didn't know why they let him follow them, but he didn't ask. Because for the first time in forever he didn't feel left out.

He didn't feel alone.


	5. Smile

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for leaving kudos/commenting! 
> 
> Hope you like this chapter as well! :)

Remus joined James, Sirius and Peter by their usual table in the dining hall, close to the side windows and far away from Remus' usual rickety table at the far back.

Remus played with his scrambled eggs for a while until he ate some of it. He didn't know how to act, or how to eat this close to other boys his age. He was used to eat alone.

"Sorry we haven't talked to you until now."

Remus turned his head to the side to look at James that sat next to him.

"What do you mean?" Remus asked while he lowered his fork to lay next to his forgotten breakfast.

"Well, I mean," James looked at Sirius for help.

"He means that we've almost shared the cabin with you for a week without even trying to get to know you." All eyes turned to Peter who spoke between big bites of bacon. "Now they feel guilty that they didn't pay you any attention since you obviously ended up in trouble yesterday." Peter stated as he waved his fork in the air to get his point across.

Remus looked at James, then at Sirius. Was it true?

"Yeah, sorry." Sirius and James both looked apologetic.

Remus blinked, baffled. "Why are you sorry?"

James frowned. "What do you mean 'why'? Of course we're sorry. It's not nice to leave someone out like that. You probably think we're really mean."

Remus was going to argue that he didn't find their behavior odd at all, but decided against it. Perhaps it wasn't wise to reveal that he had been constantly bullied for years, or that he was used to the silent treatment.

He turned his eyes back to his plate, forming his eggs into a sad smiley.

The table fell silent except from the clattering of Peter's cutlery. Remus played with his food some more until he heard a familiar voice come from behind him.

"Look who we have here, if it isn't for little firstie." Remus felt a cold shiver of fear shake his body, making him feel nauseous.

"Have you bribed your roommates into acting as your body guards, huh? Pathetic." Malfoy chuckled haughtily, but before Remus had time to say anything back he saw Sirius and James jump up from their seats.

"Go mock someone your own size, you twat!" James shook his fists in the air, threating him.

"Fuck off Malfoy!" Sirius spat.

Malfoy didn't even flinch. "Oh, I would watch my tongue if I were you, _Black_." He chuckled again. "We wouldn't want _Walburga_ to find out about your foul language now, would we?"

That got Remus' attention.

Who was this Walburga person? Whoever it was they didn't seem to be the kindest one out of the lot considering Sirius seemed afraid of them. Sirius even stopped in his tracks and got that haunted expression back in his eyes.

Then Remus heard approaching footsteps behind him.

"Sod off Malfoy! And take stinking Snivellus with you!" James shouted, gathering the attention of most of the boys in the dining hall.

Turning his head to glance over his shoulder Remus suspected that Snivellus was a nickname for Severus Snape considering he was the only one standing next to Malfoy.

Remus turned his attention back to Sirius who glared daggers at Malfoy. Peter had dropped his fork and looked somewhat like a scared rat from where he trembled in his seat.

James took a step closer to Snape, his fists swirling dangerously in the air when they heard a voice bellow nearby.

"Is there a problem?" The bellowing voice of Slughorn came towards them, as the man forcefully chuckled at the boys.

"No, director Slughorn." Malfoy sang smoothly, practiced smile on his lips. Slughorn seemed to believe him.

"Well, good. But please leave these first years alone for the time being, Lucius." Slughorn's moustache furrowed when he spoke, making him look like a mad professor. Remus frowned at him. Why did he call Malfoy by his first name? Did they know each other?

Slughorn walked away with Malfoy, Snape trailing after them. James and Sirius sat back down but were boiling with suppressed anger.

"I hate him." Sirius growled. "He's a real piece of shit.

Remus' raised his eyebrows in surprise. Did Sirius know Malfoy from before, or was he bullied by him as well?

"He stinks." James crossed his arms and leaned back on his chair before he ruffled his hair in distress.

Peter flicked his eyes between them as he slowly picked up his fork and started eating again.

"Has he bothered you before?" Sirius suddenly asked Remus.

Remus felt his heart sink to the bottom of his stomach. He didn't like to think about the times he'd been bullied, and especially not talk about them. It made them seem more ... real somehow. But something told him that if he wanted to hang out with James, Sirius and Peter he would have to be honest. And after all, they seemed to despise Malfoy as well.

"Yeah... yesterday. And during the first day... and Rudolphus as well." Remus whispered to his plate. He heard Sirius grumble something, and Remus wanted to ask why he was so angry when Sirius spoke up.

"I hate them all. I hate that I'm related to them." He spat.

Remus snapped his head up to look at Sirius. What?

"You're related to them?" Peter piped.

"Sadly." Sirius glared at the salt in the middle of the table. "My horrible cousin Narcissa is going to marry Malfoy, making him a relative on one way or another. And my other horrible cousin Bellatrix is going to marry Lestrange, or Rudolphus which is his first name."

The table fell silent for a while.

"Why?" James asked.

"Because the Blacks are insane, that's why. We're practically related to the Lestranges and Malfoys further back already." Sirius shook his head. "The Blacks are supposed to marry relatives to keep our blood 'pure' or something. It's some bullshit policy they have, and if you refuse to do it you get disowned. Just like my uncle Alphard or cousin Andromeda."

Remus gaped at Sirius, and glancing to his side he saw James and Peter mimic him.

"What did they do? Alphard and Andromeda?" James asked, sounding a mixture of curious and terrified.

Sirius frowned. "I'm not sure. They only ever mention uncle Alphard once a year or so, but when they do tell call him a disgrace, disgusting or rotten. I figure he must have done something terrible." Sirius shrugged.

"Last time I saw him was Christmas '65. But I only remember him as kind, as the only one of my relatives that actually seemed to genuinely like me. I don't understand what he could have done." Sirius pouted for a second before he took a sip of his juice.

"How about Andromeda?" Peter pryed, eager to know more. Remus suspected that Peter was the gossiping kind.

"She married a foreigner. She refused to marry another one of our relatives, and instead 'soiling' her pureblood, blending it with 'mud' or something." Sirius tried to create an air of nonchalance but it was obvious that he cared.

"Did you like her?" Remus asked, gaining the attention of the three boys.

"Yeah. She was kind to me. Last time I saw her was two years ago, the week before she got the stamp of a 'blood traitor'." Sirius leaned back in his chair, arms crossed.

"That's harsh." James waved his hand in the air as he slumped back in his chair, looking baffled.

"I know. The Blacks are all about heritage, blood lines, pale skin, and money. So when Andromeda declared that she was to marry the foreigner _and_ life the life of the working class she was burned off the banister." Sirius exhaled sadly as he formed his right hand into a gun and shot the air in front of him.

"You see, the Blacks don't work. They have people that work for them." Sirius finished with a joyless laugh.

Remus stared at him. Suddenly his own family situation didn't seem that bad. Sure, his parents struggled to pay for the food on their table but he was loved by them, and they didn't order him to marry one of his cousins. And they would never cut off someone from the family network only because they married a person from a different culture.

"Okay..." James trailed off, eyes never leaving Sirius. Remus suspected that this was the first time Sirius had given anyone even the slightest clue to how his family worked, which wasn't that odd considering how twisted the Blacks seemed to be.

Remus shook his head, unsure of what to do with his limbs during the awkward silence. He opened his mouth to find anything to say, but closed it again when he remembered that he had close to zero knowledge of how to socialize with others.

That thought made Remus frown at his plate. Here he sat with three others who actually seemed willing to spend time with him, but then _he_ still had to remind himself of how utterly pathetic his past had been.

"So... have you finished eating?" James asked the group after a while. Peter shook his head even though he had munched on some sort of food during the entire breakfast.

"Great! Because I'm getting out of here." James exclaimed as he flashed them a grin before he rose up and yanked Peter with him by the arm. Remus shared a look with Sirius before they followed James and Peter out of the dining hall to go on with the day's activities.

''''''''''

Remus got to hang around James, Sirius and Peter for the rest of the day. He was surprised by the sudden change in their behavior and unsure whether they considered him a friend or not. However, he didn't complain when he got company during both lunch _and_ dinner. And even though the feeling was new to him he somehow felt like he belonged. Liked he wasn't made to be alone after all.

After dinner they headed back for cabin 7 where James and Peter searched for the candy and Remus sat down on his bed.

Remus saw Sirius stop by the entrance to crouch down. He reached for something before his outreached hand lifted something up from the ground.

"Is this your book?"

Remus' eyes widened as he watched Sirius walk to him and place the book in Remus' lap where he picked it up.

"Yeah..." Remus mumbled, sadness visible in his voice. He fiddled with the still damp pages of his favorite book. Sure, he had read it multiple times before, but he knew he couldn't afford to buy a new one. This was also the copy where he had read the book for the first time.

He stroked his fingers over the cover with a sad sigh.

He startled when he felt a warm hand settle on his left shoulder. Turning his head to the side he saw that Sirius had sat down next to him.

Sirius shot him a reassuring smile before he jerked his head, motioning in the direction of the book in Remus' hands. "It's going to be alright. We're going to have so much fun that you'll forget about the book. Okay?"

Remus searched his face for any signs of him lying, but Sirius looked serious.

"It's a plan!" James shouted from where he made his way over to them, two lollipops held out for Sirius and Remus. They took them and proceeded to suck on them. Remus usually preferred chocolate, but he didn't mind the sweet flavor at all.

"You'll forget about the book in a matter of seconds. We'll make sure of that." James flashed him a grin that showed of his perfect line of straight white teeth.

"Right, Pete?" James shouted over his shoulder to which Peter piped something in response before he left his bed in favor of trailing after James that sat down on Remus' right side.

Remus swallowed as his eyes darted from Sirius, to James and then to Peter who looked reluctant as he sat down next to James, but he didn't complain. In fact, no one complained about having to spend time with Remus.

Remus leaned forward and shoved the destroyed book under the bed before he sat back up. He didn't dare to say anything, afraid to break the spell that made his roommates act nice to him. He didn't understand how they could be so kind to him. Did they owe him or something?

"Why don't we play a game?" James suggested, yet again taking it upon himself to break every silence that threatened to set between them.

"Depends on what type of game it is." Sirius lifted one of his eyebrows while giving James a cocky grin.

James rolled his eyes. "As if you would ever turn down any of my game ideas." James said as he elbowed Peter in the ribs, making Peter agree with him.

Remus heard Sirius inhale a big breath but before he had time to talk back James went on with his speech.

"I thought that we could play a game of truth." He said as a matter of fact.

Remus frowned. He had never heard of that game before, although he guessed it might be because he'd never really had any friends before either.

"Do you mean truth or dare?" Peter asked, mouth full of different candies.

"Yeah? I've never heard of a game called 'truth' before." Sirius cut in.

James sighed over dramatically before he flung his arms in the air. "I just made it up, okay?" James explained. "But I figured that if we are to spend the entire month together it would be nice to get to know each other some more. You know, find out if one of us is a murderer or something." He shrugged, like it was the most common thing to ask in the world.

Remus stared at him. "You think one of us is a criminal?" He whispered, then quickly flicked his eyes to Sirius who started laughing.

"James, James. You old dog. Everyone already knows that the criminal is you." Sirius laughed, making James chuckle as well.

"Be-because I'm illegally hot!" James laughed.

Remus shared a confused look with Peter that had stopped with his chewing, as he swallowed furiously.

Remus figured that what James and Sirius were doing was a _joke_. He had only ever heard a joke a couple of times before, well if he didn't count the countless of jokes made about _him_.

Remus shook his head again. He had to stop thinking about his past. He was miles away from home. The bullies couldn't reach him here. He had company that could protect him and he should feel safe. He scolded himself, accidentally shutting out the voices of the boys sitting around him.

He jolted when he felt a finger jab his shoulder.

"Hello? Remus? Are you listening?" Sirius asked, worry lingering in his eyes. Remus didn't know whether to feel confused or thankful for the concern.

"I'm listening." He lied as he straightened his posture and realized James and Peter looked at him as well.

"Okay, good. I'll start." James declared after a second. He brought his hand up to rub under his chin before his eyes settled on Peter.

"Peter, what's the reason you're staying at Slughorn's summer camp?" James formed his right hand into a fist and then used it as a mic, placing it under Peter's mouth.

Peter swallowed. "Dunno, to be honest." He shrugged. "But if I have to guess my mom always complains about me not moving enough, eating too many sweets and stuff like that. My folks probably wanted to get me outside, make me move around more or something." He reached for the bag of candy and brought up a jelly worm that he chewed on.

Remus thought it was funny how Peter's parents wanted him to eat less candy when it was all he ever did at every waking hour at the summer camp.

"Okay, your turn." James chirped to Peter who took his time swallowing before he spoke.

"Right, James, same question."

James frowned at him. "Hey, you can't ask the same thing!" He crossed his arms but Peter only shrugged, more interested of the sour skull he lifted to his mouth.

"Just answer him." Sirius slumped back on the bed, resting on his back. Remus glanced at him from the corner of his eyes, wondering if he should do the same. He didn't know if he was supposed to be himself or just to copy the others when he hung around with them.

"Okay, _fine_. If you ask so nicely." James sent a glare at Sirius. "My parents is all about family gatherings, travelling and such during the summer. They couldn't find someone to keep me company this summer and since I apparently need to be kept under surveillance they sent me here." He said as a matter of fact.

"I can see why they wouldn't want to leave you with the house for yourself." Sirius teased.

"Sod off." James reached out to ruffle Sirius' hair, making him grunt and sit up next to Remus again.

"Okay, Sirius same question." James looked past Remus as he raised his eyebrows expectantly at Sirius who frowned at him.

"Didn't you just complain when Peter asked the same question to you?" He motioned to Peter with his hand in front of Remus' chest, making him lean back, afraid of being hit by it.

"Tch, that was ages ago." James rolled his eyes dramatically. "Go on, answer the question. We don't have all night." He smiled mischievously at Sirius.

"Alright. My _family_ was going on a trip overseas with some of the other posh snobs they hang around with. They didn't want me to tag along, so they sent me here. And I think they want me to learn how to take order, but I already know how to do it, I just don't want to take order from _them_." Sirius glared at his lap, eyebrows furrowed and voice determined. Though, Remus thought he could make out just the tiniest hint of sadness in his voice, underneath the thick layer of angry nonchalance.

"But that's good, right? You said earlier that you didn't like them, so what could be better than to escape them for a whole month?" James tried to cheer Sirius up, but he only grunted in response.

Remus saw Peter fidget in his spot, unsure of how to act when Sirius acted out of character. Remus simply stared at his own lap, waiting for the moment to pass.

After a while James cleared his throat, taking on the role as the leader again. "So, Sirius, it's your turn."

Sirius finally lifted his head. Then he gave Remus a look over. Remus felt his cheeks burn when he realized Sirius was going to ask him something. Quickly, Remus looked away from Sirius and instead stared at James and Peter's double bed across the room.

"Remus, same question." Sirius said curiously.

Remus realized that he hadn't told anyone anything about his family yet. But then he also remembered that there wasn't anything he _wanted_ to share.

He frowned when he thought about his village, their cottage close to the big forest, and about how his parents struggled to find extra work in their village where everyone knew everything about everyone.

"Ehm- well- I," Remus stuttered, brain collapsing from the prying eyes of his roommates.

"It's okay."

Remus felt a hand pat his pack. Turning his head to the side he saw Sirius give him an encouraging smile.

"We're not going to make fun of you." He whispered, and Remus didn't know whether to cry or laugh. Why were they so friendly to him? Why was Sirius so friendly to him?

After taking a deep, calming breath he realized that Sirius was probably speaking the truth.

Remus could trust them.

"I-I think mother and father drove me here because they thought I was in need of getting outside." I spoke in a low voice, hands fidgeting with his trouser pockets.

"You see, I like to read a lot so I often stay inside and read all day if I get the opportunity." He nodded to himself. "A-and I think, perhaps, they, ehm, wanted me to make some friends..." He trailed off, voice turning into a whisper as the lump in his throat grew. He didn't like to open up. He hoped they wouldn't mock him for it.

"I'm fine with staying inside reading, but this summer my parents were off to some trip overseas so they ceased the opportunity and drove me here. I know they love me, but yeah, they still sent me here even though I told them I wanted to stay at home."

The cabin was silent for a while, save from the sounds coming from Peter as he unwrapped a candy that he handed to James.

"You don't have any friends?" Peter asked, not taking into consideration how he made Remus startle.

Remus felt something in his chest constrict. An overwhelming sadness overtook him. He felt abnormal, wrong and left alone when his mind wandered back to the many efforts he'd made to try and make friends over the years. He had tried everything, but all his friends had turned into bullies within a week of knowing him.

He felt his face turn into a grimace as he desperately tried to hold back the tears. He flicked his eyes to stare at their bathroom door, wondering if he should dart for the door to escape the prying and uncomfortable questions he didn't want to think about ever again.

He knew that if his roommates got to know the truth, got to know no one had wanted to be his friend for years, they would realize how weird Remus really was and start ignoring him as well.

Remus closed his eyes but opened them quickly when he felt a hand swipe up and down his back once.

"It's alright. It's okay if you don't have any friends." He heard Sirius tell him, voice honest.

Remus felt the painful lump in his throat ease at the reassuring words.

"Yeah, it doesn't matter. After all you've got us now. We're your friends." James told him, almost sounding proud as he nudged Remus' shoulder with his own.

Remus thought he heard Peter groan painfully before he voice a "Yeah, that's right!" from next to James. Had James elbowed him again?

"You... you don't think I'm weird?" Remus croaked, still staring at his lap. His heart pounded loudly in his chest, and he was both afraid and excited as he anticipated the answer.

"No! Of course not. Why would you think that?" James patted his shoulder twice.

"You're just as normal as any of us." Sirius told him as he scooted closer to him on the bed. Remus felt a small smile tug at his lips when he felt Sirius ruffle his hair.

Remus thought he was dreaming. Here he was, on top of his bed with three other boys who didn't mock him, tease him or threaten him.

For the first time he got to feel what it was like to have friends and he loved it. He felt a comfortable warmth spread in his chest, and he almost dared to say he felt safe.

He let a broad smile splay on his lips before he reached out his hands to capture Sirius and James in a hug. With James help Peter joined in as well, and as the four of them rolled around on the bed in a heap of laughter and shrieks and Remus actually felt happy.

''''''''''

Remus felt a giddy smile tug at his lips for the remaining days of the week. He was so happy to finally have friends. Friends that he could talk to, ask for help or just sit with in silence during breakfast. His rickety table at the very far back of the dining hall was long forgotten and Remus hoped he would never find the need to sit by it again.

As the days went on Remus found himself feeling more comfortable among his new friends. He slowly breached some of the many walls he had put up around him through the years and let his friends in.

When Remus lay in bed Sunday night he didn't feel the need to cling on tightly to Teddy. He still hugged him as he fell asleep but he didn't feel like Teddy was his only friend anymore. And he didn't need Teddy's fur to soak up his tears.

There had been no reasons for him to cry.

While listening to the low snores coming from Peter, Remus closed his eyes and turned to his side, curling into a ball as the smile lingered on his lips.

He felt the warm, comfortable feeling in his chest and wondered if this was how it felt to have friends. If this was how it felt to be loved.

With one last smile of happiness he fell asleep.


	6. Friendship

Remus turned off the water and stepped out of the shower. He resolutely held his head high, not wanting to see his scarred body.

Though, when he slipped on the slippery tiles he unintentionally lowered his head, making his eyes flick to his many scars.

Quickly, he looked back up and reached for the towel, before he successfully covered himself in it.

He shook his head. He felt defeated.

No matter how much he tried, or begged there was nothing he could do about his scars. They had been there for as long as he could remember, and they would never disappear so he would really do best in accepting them already. But at the same time he just couldn't.

He blamed _himself_ for getting them. For defiling his body for all future.

He closed his eyes at the memory.

He had only been about five years old when he'd walked out into the big forest next to their house in the middle of the night. Before his parents had any time to find him, or even react for that matter, the wolf had launched forward and buried its claws all over Remus' body, scratching and tearing his skin, making him scream in agony.

His father had found him, rifle held high in his hands, before it was too late. They managed to save him, but the scars would stain him forever. His body was tainted and all was his fault. If only he had stayed inside. If only he hadn't been afraid of his parents arguing about him...

Remus hung the wet towel on the rack before he reached for his clothes to get dressed. He snapped his head to the side when he thought he saw a shadow linger along the wall, but sighed when he realized there was nothing there.

He shook his head. He had been afraid of all sorts of things after the incident, his fears coming and leaving in waves. At times he was afraid of the dark, of monsters under his bed, or afraid of dogs that reminded him of wolves.

Even though his body was scarred for life, and his mind served the after effects of paranoia and fear the worst of it all were the bullies at school. They had somehow found out about the scars and used every opportunity to mock him about them. They asked him if he'd made them himself to gain attention, if his father had inflicted them on him as a punishment or even asked if he'd gotten into fight with a dog Chihuahua, implying that he was weak and helpless.

As Remus buttoned the last button of his long sleeved shirt he came across one of the sharper scars. He felt his heart make a painful clench at the memory.

Last year his hideous uncle had finally passed away. His relatives had been devastated but Remus had heaved a sigh of relief. Because during the several occasions where his uncle had babysat him he had bared witness to his uncontrollable anger and madness.

It wasn't often spoken about, seeming as the topic was somewhat of a taboo, but his uncle was an alcoholic and loved to punish whatever child he babysat at the time. Luckily for Remus he had only had to live through a handful of punishments, but they were enough to leave a couple of more scars on his body.

Remus mourned the times he had to survive the punishments but he felt even more sorry for his uncle's children. They always shook as leaves whenever Remus saw them and he wondered what his uncle might have done to them.

Remus brushed through his hair before he checked that his clothes covered almost every part of his body. It was one of the hottest days of the year but he thought it was worth it to sweat in his clothes if it meant that he could keep his scars to himself. No one had to know. He would try to keep his scars to himself for as long as he could.

But then he remembered something.

Sirius.

Sirius had already seen his scars, hadn't he? He hadn't run away in fear or laughed at him while making jokes of how he got them. No, Sirius had said something...

Remus rubbed in between his eyebrows as he tried to recollect the memory. Then he remembered. Sirius had said 'Me too'.

Remus' eyes widened. What had Sirius meant by that? Had he been attacked by a wolf as well?

But then a picture flashed in front of his eyes. Yesterday, before they got to bed he had got a glimpse of Sirius as he changed into his pajamas. Remus had seen some strange pattern at the low of Sirius' back, and now that he thought about it the lines looked almost like... scars.

Baffled at the realization Remus found himself gaping at his reflection in the mirror.

Sirius. Had someone hurt _Sirius_? Like, intentionally, like Remus' horrible uncle?

Remus jumped at the spot when someone knocked at the door.

"Are you done? I need to use the loo!"

Sirius.

Remus felt his heart pound loudly in his chest. He straightened his posture and tried to look normal and calm as he walked over to unlock the door. He tried not to make it obvious that he had just realized that someone was abusing Sirius even though he desperately wanted to ask Sirius about it.

Sirius rushed past him as he headed straight for the toilet and Remus quickly slipped outside and closed the door behind him. He shook the last pieces of worry off of him and placed the remains at the very far back of his mind.

If Sirius wanted to talk about it he would. Or, well, even if he didn't Remus could always ask him about it at another time. Right now Sirius was busy after all.

'''''''''

"Quickly! Hand me the hair clip!" James shouted at them in a hushed whisper.

"Shh, hurry up!" Sirius hushed as he handed James the hair clip they'd found in the dining hall earlier, probably dropped by one of the women working in the kitchen.

Remus were to keep watch and make the signal if he saw anyone. Peter held their supplies under his arms, sweating from the weight.

Remus heard a loud click and then the creak of a door sliding open.

"Yes, it worked!" James shouted, but then voiced  a muffled 'Mhmm!' when Sirius slammed a hand over his mouth.

"Shh!" Sirius scolded James before they rushed inside.

With one last glance on the empty grounds around them Remus left his spot and hurried inside as well, Peter trailing after him.

He closed the door carefully behind them, not wanting to make any loud sounds. He turned around and looked inside.

They were in cabin 8.

"Oh, whoa." He heard James breathe next to him. Remus felt himself gasp when he looked at the room in front of them.

There were two significant _sides_ of the room. A tape on the floor divided the cabin into two halves, and the left side had colorful posters taped up all over the walls, orange blankets thrown on top of the beds and photos were placed on the nightstand table.

Turning his head to look over at the right side of the room Remus saw that the beds were neatly folded, the walls were empty of posters save for one that was a picture of some creepy looking man with pale skin and a snake around his shoulders. Remus thought he looked like the leader of some odd cult or something.

Except for the poster and a dark coat that was thrown across one of the beds the right side of the room looked almost deserted. The contrast of the two sides couldn't had been more major.

"I can bet my right arm on the fact the left side of the room belongs to the Prewett's and the right side to Rosier and Snivellus." James stated as he made his way over to the right side of the room.

James pinched his nose as he arrived at the double bed. "Watch out, there's probably grease and Snivellus-germs all over the place. Don't breathe unless you have to." He hushed over his shoulder, voice sounding funny since he pinched his nose.

"Right, and don't touch anything!" Sirius trailed after James as he covered his mouth and nose with his arm. "We don't want to bring some curse with us or something."

Remus thought James and Sirius overreacted, but he didn't risk catching something bad so he proceeded to cover his nose with his arm as well.

"Hello! How am _I_ supposed to cover _my_ nose if both of my hands are occupied!? Some help maybe?" Peter piped, panicked, from where he stood on the tape lining, not daring to step over to the other side, sounding desperate.

"Shh!" James hushed, not turning around until he had successfully investigated both the top and lower bunk from a safe distance. He made his way over to Peter and took one of the buckets from him before he walked back, motioning for Peter to do the same.

The four of them gathered around the lower bunk and stared at it.

"Are you sure this bed belongs to Snivellus?" Sirius asked, sounding uncertain.

"I'm one hundred percent positive." James nodded. "Rosier's coat is laying on the top bunk, and look," James held his breath and stopped pinching his nose in favor of pointing at the main pillow of the bed in front of them. He returned his hand to pinch his nose when Sirius, Remus and Peter stared at it.

"There's grease all over the pillow and a black hair stand next to it. It has to be his bed." James smirked evilly. Remus felt a small spark of fear build up in his chest. He wasn't sure if he wanted to go along with this. Sure, he disliked Snape a lot, but wasn't this kind of like bullying? Or was it just a prank?

Seeming to almost being able to read minds Sirius cleared his throat and turned around to face Remus sincerely.

"It's just a prank Remus. It's going to be alright. And no one will get hurt, this is nothing compared to the tactics Malfoy and his gang uses." He spoke honestly, eyes boring into Remus that felt himself relax some.

He nodded at Sirius that smiled back at him. They both turned to face the bed again when James gave his bucket to Sirius.

"Okay, are you ready?" James asked them, mischievous glint in his eyes.

"I'm always ready." Sirius smirked, eyes widening in a slightly mad glint. Remus guessed that Sirius had longed to get some sort of revenge on Snape for a while.

"Wait!" Remus heard himself whisper suddenly. "What if- what if they find out that we did it? Won't we, like, get caught or something? Get punished...?" He knew he was the worrying kind, but he had never done anything like this before. He didn't know what could happen.

"It's going to be fine." James waved his elbow in the air, tried to sound reassuring. "They won't know it's us, and even if they find out they can't prove it. We're just too good. Too sneaky." He flashed Remus his best grin.

"I've heard that Slughorn is somewhat of a slacker." Peter cut in. "I overheard some of the older boys the other day and they said that he rarely deliver any kind of punishment. He prefers to act as if nothing has happened, pretend that he doesn't know about the pranks or, well, bullying." Peter shrugged.

"Okay." Remus nodded. He still felt slightly insecure but knew that this was as good as a reassurance he would get.

"Alright." James whispered as he started working on the lid of the bucket Peter was carrying. "Get ready, I'll count to three."

Remus felt Sirius tug at his arm, so he turned to their bucket and together they loosened the lid.

He watched as Sirius removed Snape's covers to the end of the bed with the tip of his index finger and thumb, disgusted grimace on his face.

When James told them 'Three!' Sirius and Remus threw off the lid and turned the bucket upside down on the bed, emptying its contents on the sheets. Remus jumped back a meter when he heard the loud noise of it hitting the mattress.

He saw James and Peter empty their bucket and then watched as James reached for the covers to threw over the messed up mattress.

Remus grimaced at the scene. On Snape's bed lay a mess of wet mud, breaches and _ants_.

"Ahh! I think one climbed up my arm!" Peter shrieked. He and James had emptied the bucket containing the ants, but Remus thought it served Peter right considering it had been his idea to begin with. Remus had proposed that they just left some leaves under Snape's pillow, but apparently that wasn't fun enough.

Remus snickered at Peter that jumped around on one leg, arms flailing in the air madly. Peter accidentally hit James who almost collapsed from laughter. Sirius had slammed his hands over his mouth as he tried to contain his mad laughing as well.

Remus let his eyes wander but felt himself freeze when he looked out the window.

"Hurry! They're coming back!" He hissed.

Sirius immediately turned around to stare out the window while James grabbed Peter by the arm and started dragging him toward the door.

Remus rushed to the door and flung it open, feeling overpowered by the adrenaline that surged through him. Somehow the feeling of almost getting caught made it all so much more exciting. He didn't think he'd ever felt more alive before.

Sirius picked up their lids from the floor before he rushed out together with James and Peter that finally had stopped shouting about the ant.

"Fast, the hair clip!" Sirius urged on as James fiddled with his pockets, trying to find it.

When he found it he lifted it with shaking fingers and Remus thought he was going to drop it and lose it through the holes in the stair beneath them, but he didn't. Instead James quickly locked the door with a faint click and then turned around to shoo his friends back to their cabin.

The four of them ran the three meters to cabin 7, unlocked their door and ran inside. When they slammed the door shut behind them they all collapsed in a pile on the floor, laughing at the top of their lungs.

Remus laughed until there were tears running down his cheeks. He felt so happy. Here he was, surrounded by friends who he had just executed a prank with. Him, Remus, executing a prank!

He felt someone ruffle his hair, and turning to his side he saw Sirius grin at him, looking happy with himself.

"That was fun, wasn't it?" Sirius asked gleefully.

Remus found himself grin back as he answered.

"It was brilliant!"

'''''''''

"Why don't we make a map?"

Remus asked as he drew figures in the sand with a stick.

"What do you mean?" Peter asked, covering his eyes from the sun with his hands.

"You know, like a map over the camp or something." Remus drew four stick figures next to each other in the sand, next to a big smiling sun. He felt himself smile when he added long hair to the stick figure next to the one that was him.

"But why?" Peter asked as he rose up into a sitting position. Remus quickly erased his sand-drawing, not wanting Peter to see it.

"We don't have to. I just thought it would be fun..." Remus mumbled to his lap, feeling stupid for even suggesting it.

"I think it's a great idea." Remus jerked as the voice came from over his right shoulder. Turning his head to the side he saw that Sirius had eavesdropped on their conversation, and seemed to have watched Remus' sand-drawing.

Awkward!

Remus lowered his hand to smudge the sand more and watched as James swam in the lake for a second or two before Remus answered with a very bad act of nonchalance.

"Oh, ehm, you do?" He waved his hand in the air and accidentally hit Sirius in the face.

"Sorry!" Remus gasped.

"It's fine." Sirius chuckled before he leaned back from Remus' shoulder and instead positioned himself in front of Remus and Peter, with his back to the lake.

"But honestly, I think doing a map is a great idea." Sirius spoke, mostly to Remus since Peter had dozed off on the ground again.

Remus smiled shyly as he fiddled with the stick in his hands. "Yeah? I just thought it would be cool. And then we would know exactly how long it was between the forest and lake and all that..." He trailed off.

"Yeah, brilliant!" Sirius smiled at him before he reached out to ruffle Remus' hair.

"Stop it," Remus mumbled as he swatted Sirius' hand away, but secretly he liked when Sirius did that. Remus wasn't used to any sorts of affection or friendly acts so it was a nice change to feel like someone liked him.

And even though he wouldn't dare say it out loud in front of the others Remus liked having Sirius as a friend the most.

He felt a stab of guilt in his chest and scolded himself for _ranking_ his first three friends considering that they all probably had Remus at the bottom of their own lists.

Though, he felt his guilt disappear when Sirius gave his shoulder a playful jab.

"So, do you want to start on it or what?" Sirius blinked at Remus before he aimed another playful jab at his shoulder. Remus smiled at him, nodded his head and then they left the beach in favor of walking to their cabin and get some paper and pens to work on the map.

On their way to the cabin Remus thought about the events of the past day.

They had spent almost the entirety of the past day playing in the woods where they had tried to find a weak spot or a whole in the electricity fence. Because just because they couldn't go past it they felt that they had to. No, more like it was their _duty_ to do so.  So they had started looking around everywhere as they tried to find way to climb over the fence and perhaps jump to the other side. But it had gotten dark before they'd found a way and then they had headed back.

However, the point is that Remus had already memorized the many small paths of the forest, how many steps it was between their cabin and the fence and other quirks about the camp. That's why he felt it necessary to write it all down before he forgot it. He got a feeling that the information might be useful later, and this way they could add possible hiding spots or secrets about the camp on the map. And if they found a hole in the fence someday they could mark it out on the map as well.

Remus felt like he could burst from excitement when he and Sirius sat down by one of the desks to work on the map. Together they started to point out different distances, things they had noticed and also made a check list for things they had to include, like the pile of pebble in the middle of the running path or the bridge leading out into the lake.

They spend over an hour like that, sitting shoulders to shoulders while working on the map. They started drawing vague pictures of the main building, cabins and even McGonagall's girl's camp on the other side of the lake.

When their legs got restless they brought the big paper and a handful of colorful pens with them and headed outside for some further investigation.

They walked around the grounds, measured with steps and scribbled things down on the map until it got dark.

Remus smiled the entire time.


	7. Miracle

"Ahh! There's a SPIDER in my hair!" Sirius screamed as he flung his head around, jumped around on the spot, gained the attention of Remus, James and Peter that stopped in their tracks to watch Sirius scream.

"How did it get there?" James snickered as Sirius started stomping on the ground while shaking his now messy hair back and forth, like a head bang.

"How am I supposed to know!? Get if off me!" Sirius shrieked, back hunched as he started stumbling in James' direction.

James flew an arm over his stomach as he laughed at Sirius. Peter joined him as well, but kept a safe distance to Sirius, probably afraid of the spider.

Remus sighed.

"Stay still Sirius." He ordered. Sirius stilled instantly.

"Are you going to help me?" Sirius pleaded, voice uncharacteristically high.

"Yes," Remus said as he approached Sirius that bent his head in front of him. Remus reached out and threaded his fingers through it, searching for the spider. He combed through the hair twice but when he couldn't find the spider he let go. "There's nothing there." Remus shrugged.

Sirius frowned. "Yes there is! I felt it!" He declared, but then looked panicked and started swatting his hands all over his body. "Wait- what if it's in my clothes!?" Sirius started jumping around on the spot again in total panic.

Remus glared at James and Peter that had bent over from laughing.

"Stop panicking and I'll help you look." Remus reached his hand out to grab Sirius' overarm, making him stop fretting around. With a whine Sirius closed his eyes and pouted. "I think the spider's in my shirt." Sirius cried as he opened his eyes to plead at Remus.

But Remus' eyes were focused on something else. Quickly, before Sirius had time to panic, he reached his free hand out and clasped it over the small spider that sat on Sirius' shoulder. He lifted his other hand as well and cupped them both over the spider just before he heard Sirius scream again.

"It's on my shoulder! It's on my shoulder, ahh!" Sirius started running around in circles, hands brushing over his shoulder with force. Luckily Remus managed to trap the spider in his hands before Sirius took off.

"Open the door for me, would you?" Remus asked Sirius patiently. Sirius turned around, mouth forming into an 'o' when he saw Remus' cupped hands.

"Oh, ehm, you- you found the spider, ehm...?" Sirius cleared his throat, cheeks turning pink. Remus smiled at him as he shook his head. Sirius could really act like a princess sometimes.

"Yes. Now would you please open the door for me, miss?" Remus teased. He ran around the room laughing as Sirius chased after him shouting "What did you call me!?"

After a while Remus got Sirius to open the door for him after threatening to let the spider loose on Sirius' bed if he didn't help him. On Sirius' demand Remus left the spider on the stair leading up to cabin 8. Then he walked back in to find James and Peter roll around on the floor, chests heaving with laughter.

Sirius aimed a light kick at them both and muttered for them to stop it but it took several minutes before they calmed down enough to be considered fit for conversation again.

When they did the four boys agreed on continuing with their plans for the evening. They all changed into their pajamas', Remus changed in the safety of their bathroom, and then they started empty their beds of their contents, moving them on the floor in the middle of the room instead.

Remus smiled to himself. They were going to have a sleepover.

Peter placed their nicked snacks in the middle of the mess that were their bedsheets, pillows and blankets. Peter had nicked the sweets from the kitchens earlier, with the others keeping watch outside. James had nicked a couple of candles from Slughorn's office that he lit with the nicked matches. Then James placed the candles next to the snacks and turned off their lamp to the only source of light came from the candles.

Remus reached for a chocolate bar and smiled as he broke off a piece and let it melt on his tongue. He really loved chocolate.

They had placed their beds in the form of a x, with the candles and snacks in the middle. And when Remus saw Sirius lay down on top of his sheets next to him he did the same. He had brought Teddy with him and let his palm run over his soft fur as he made himself comfortable.

Peter lay himself down on the bed to Remus' right and James lied down on the bed across from Remus. They all munched on the nicked chocolates, tarts and cookies for a while until James fumbled around and then lit a torch.

"Where'd you get that?" Peter asked in between bites of his favorite chocolate cookies.

"Where do you think? I nicked it from Filch's office of course." James grinned mischievously. He looked funny with the torch lighting up his head from beneath his chin.

"Wow, you walked in there _alone_?" Peter sounded astonished.

"Pfft," Sirius voiced. "As if he would dare that. I was with him the _entire_ time, watching out for the old geezer." Sirius sounded cocky, and James mumbled something incoherent in response. Remus didn't understand how they dared to break into the kitchens, Slughorn's office and Filch's office. What if they got caught?

Remus patted Teddy for a while as he munched on his second piece of chocolate that he let melt on his tongue. He wondered if this was what people did on slumber party's; lay silent on the floor next to each other, munch on sweets. He had never been on one before so he didn't know.

"So, what do you want to do?" James yawned and Remus felt himself yawn as well. Suddenly he felt tired and was going to suggest that they simply fall asleep right then, but then he got a better idea.

"Why don't we, ehm... why don't we tell each other stories?" He suggested, voice uncertain. He loved to read, tell and listen to stories, especially during the evening with a warm blanket in his lap. But perhaps it wasn't something you did at a slumber party? And he didn't even know if he was any good at telling stories, after all his only audience had been Teddy.

"Sure," He heard James sing excitedly before he placed himself on his back atop of his bedsheets and pillows.

"That's a great idea, you start." Sirius turned so that he leaned on his side and placed his hands under the pillow beneath his head, eyes locked on Remus.

Peter hummed approvingly and made himself comfortable on his pillows as well, taking another handful of cookies along the way.

Remus swallowed. He hadn't actually thought they would agree on his idea, or that _he_ would end up doing the storytelling first. What would he say?

"Should I, ehm, tell a story made by someone else, or, ehm, m-make one up myself?" He stuttered, not used to the attention of others. He didn't want to make a fool out of himself by accidentally doing the wrong thing. He would like to impress his new found friends if that was possible.

"I've heard all the usual ones already," Peter mumbled from where he lay on his back, eyes closed. "Why don't you make up a new story that no one has ever heard of before?" He suggested.

Sirius and James hummed approvingly.

"B-but I don't know what to say. I haven't thought of something." Remus confessed, feeling his cheeks burn.

"It doesn't matter." He felt a hand pat his arm reassuringly. Turning his head to the side Remus found Sirius smiling at him, strands of his hair covering his left eye. Remus didn't know why, but seeing Sirius smile at him like that made him calm down.

"Just make something up, doesn't have to be long." Sirius told him, and James and Peter agreed.

"Alright." Remus nodded at Sirius before he turned his attention back to stare at the candles. He frowned at them, his mind searching for something, _anything_ to say. Then he spoke in his best storytelling voice that was low, but clear.

" _Once upon a time there was a little boy who lived in a small village. He had light hair, but dark eyes. He had several siblings to play with and parents that loved him, but he felt that something was missing._

_All his days looked the same. He woke up, went to school, went home, played with his siblings, fell asleep. The next morning it all started over again._

_He sulked. He cried. He mourned. He didn't know how, but he felt that something was missing._

_The aching hole in his chest grew as he got older, his heart screaming for its missing piece. He searched everywhere, spoke to anyone he thought could help him, but the pain wouldn't go away._

_Then one day as he helplessly sat in his room and thought about his missing piece he heard clattering from his window. Jerking his head to the side he saw a beautiful barn owl fly outside so he opened his window to let it in._

_The owl brought with it a letter, sender unknown. At the card stood a date and location, and feeling his curiosity take the overhand he found himself heading for the oak tree at three PM the following Saturday._

_But when he reached the location he found himself stop to a halt. There was already someone there. In his forest. By his tree._

_Walking closer he saw that the intruder looked the opposite to him. Because the intruder had dark hair and light eyes. Pale skin and arched features. He looked proper and misplaced in the vegetation of the forest._

_"What are you doing here?" He asked the dark-haired boy that had turned around to face him._

_"Why, I got a letter with a date and location. Are you perhaps the sender?" He quirked a brow._

_"No..." Our narrator trailed off, but soon he realized something. As he looked at the dark-haired boy he felt the aching in his heart fade, all the way until it was all gone. Instead he felt warmth take its place._

_He felt a smile splay on his lips as he walked toward the dark-haired boy._

_He had found his missing piece."_

Remus finished. He barely knew what words left his mouth, when he got into it they just kept flowing. Something told him he'd dreamed a similar story a couple of days ago, but he'd forgotten all about it until now.

Glancing to his side he saw that Peter had fallen asleep with a cookie still in his mouth. Remus frowned at him. He didn't know whether to feel annoyed or hurt by the fact that Peter probably thought his story was boring. He poked Peter on his belly but he only snored in response.

Looking around some he saw that James had turned around and was leaning his head on his hands, eyes boring into Remus that startled under the intense gaze.

"Did you make that up just now?" James asked.

"Yeah...?" Remus trailed off, was James going to make fun of him?

"Wow." James whistled, making Peter jerk awake and grunt as he spat out the cookie.

"That story was really good." Sirius spoke honestly. Remus turned to face him and was met by a serious expression.

"But what did it mean?" Sirius wore a quizzed expression.

"Yeah?" James pryed curiously. "What did they mean by 'missing piece'? As a friend or...?"

Remus' eyes widened. He tried to think back at his story, but he only remembered bits and pieces of it. He'd been in such a hurry to make something up he'd lost the main thought of it. Had he said something weird?

"It's, ehm, it's up to the listener to decide. It's an open ending, so you can interpret it however you want." Remus tried to sound convincing but James and Sirius only looked more confused.

"Why did the narrator feel lonely?" James asked. "And who sent the letters? And why didn't they have any senders?" The questions rained from James' mouth but before Remus had any time to avoid them Peter sat back up quickly.

"Did I miss something?" He slurred, then yawned.

"You fell asleep." Sirius rolled his eyes at him before he sat up as well.

"This slumber party was awesome but I'm tired, so can we go to bed?" Sirius yawned into his hand, making the other three yawn as well.

The four of them agreed on going to bed even though Remus thought the slumber party was unusually short. Though, at last James stopped with his questioning.

After taking out the trash, blowing out the candles and brushing their teeth they walked back to their beds in the middle of the room and got ready to fall asleep.

The last thing Remus remembered was Sirius smiling at him, having just ruffled Remus' hair.

''''''''

"Look, he's scratching his back again!" James whispered to them under his hand.

Remus turned around in his usual seat by their breakfast table. He spotted Snape scratching his back furiously while sending death glares to anyone that looked his way. Remus looked away quickly when he saw Rosier, Malfoy and Lestrange follow him across the dining hall.

"Serves him right, the greasy git." Sirius snickered. "I only wish we could have dumped an ant farm in Malfoy's bed as well. _That_ would have been wicked." He chuckled.

Peter hummed something; trying to make the other think he was listening when he was actually busy eating as many pancakes as possible in a minute. Remus turned back to his own plate and slammed a big spoon of sweet strawberry jam onto his last piece of pancake, rejoicing in the feeling of being able to eat fancy jam to his breakfast.

"Listen up campers!" Came Slughorn's bellowing voice from the front of the desk when most of the boys had finished with their breakfast.

"Today we'll have the honor of hosting the sweet ladies from my dear friend Minerva McGonagall's girl's camp across the lake."

The dining hall erupted in loud cheers, some even applauding.

Slughorn cleared his throat, obviously not done with his speech but too happy about the attention to stop the cheers.

"They will arrive in the company of the director and her closest personnel at six PM for an enjoyable evening by the bonfire that we will set up by the lake. Please note that the dinner will be served roughly one hour earlier due to the arrangements, and curfew is pushed back one hour." That earned Slughorn another set of loud cheers.

"When the ladies arrive I expect proper behavior from you boys. You are to show them what gentlemen you are, and treat them with respect. If I see anyone act improper at or with any of the girls you will be sent to spend the rest of the evening in your cabin. Understood?" Slughorn tried to sound stern but failed as his moustache fluttered in tandem with his chuckles.

As Slughorn made his way out of the room Remus turned his attention back to his mates. He found James almost bouncing in his chair from excitement.

"We're going to meet the girls!" He exclaimed, too happy. Remus didn't understand what the fuss was all about. It was just girls.

But when he looked around the hall at the excited boys that patted each other on the shoulders or babbled excitedly with each other he thought that perhaps it _was_ a big deal.

He frowned and wondered why he didn't feel the least bit excited, but let it go when he realized it might have something to do with the fact that he didn't like meeting new people.

He shrugged and then followed his mates out of the dining hall.

''''''''''

They sat around the bonfire in a large circle when the girls arrived. A stern looking woman walked at the front while having a conversation with Slughorn.  Her sharp gaze swept over every boy in front of her as she approached.

After her were over thirty girls of different ages, or perhaps even more. At the very back walked two other women, one who was chubby and another one that was thin. They both looked kind and more laid back than the woman at the front that Remus suspected was McGonagall.

Slughorn introduced the stern looking woman for his boys. It was McGonagall.

The women that walked up to stand next to her were called Sprout and Pomfrey. Remus felt a smile tug at his lips when his eyes locked with Pomfrey's and she smiled at him.

"Oh, come on." Remus turned his head to the side to look at James who gave him a funny expression. "Here we have over thirty of girls to talk to and you flirt with _Pomfrey_? One of the _old_ women?"

Remus felt his face turn scarlet. "I did not flirt with her!" He hissed as he elbowed James' ribs, making him huff. "And she's not old. She's probably only about twenty or so..." He trailed off.

"You were so flirting with her!" James teased, snickering under his hand that he had slammed over his mouth. Remus sent a glare his way but stopped talking when he found McGonagall stare at them warningly.

Remus muttered something under his breath as he stared at his lap. He did _not_ flirt with Pomfrey. He was just surprised, and happy that she seemed to take an instant liking to him. He thought she seemed kind, and nice, as a _friend_. And why would he even _want_ to flirt with her? Didn't James understand that you could look at a girl or a woman without wanting to flirt with them?

"Hey, you alright?

Remus looked up from his lap when he felt a hand pat his back. He found Sirius gaze at him looking concerned.

"Yeah," Remus mumbled, forcing himself to smile reassuringly. "James was just bothering me..."

Sirius rolled his eyes. "He can be such a twat! But don't worry about. Whatever it was he will have forgotten about in five minutes anyway." Sirius tilted his head to motion to James who had already proceeded to stare at every approaching girl.

Remus smiled at Sirius before he thanked him for making him feel better before he also turned his attention back to the girls, but he turned his focus to Sirius again when he heard him growl.

"What is it?" Remus asked when he saw Sirius narrow his eyes and form his hands into fists. Following his gaze Remus soon found himself looking at a couple of older girls who babbling made their way over to the other side of the bonfire.

"Bellatrix and Narcissa. My cousins." Sirius murmured, sounding furious.

Remus watched as one of the girls, the one that looked slightly older, snorted at most of the boys. She made her skirt flow around her dangerously from where she walked on the path. Her hair was dark but less shiny than Sirius', and her facial features reminded Remus of Sirius as well, with the small nose bridge and high cheekbones, but they didn't look as defined on her.

He remembered Sirius saying something about inbreeding and realized that perhaps he wasn't joking after all. Sirius looked similar to his cousin.

But there was one significant difference between Bellatrix and Sirius; Bellatrix eyes looked evil. She constantly alternated between looking mad or like she was planning something vicious. Her eyes lacked the calm honesty that Sirius had.

Next to her walked an ice blond girl that looked tender, but sterner than Bellatrix. Her eyes looked more alive, but colder than her sister's. Their cheekbones, lips and forehead were the same though.

Narcissa seemed controlled and sure of her every move as she held her head high, making her straight hair sway after her. She looked like she thought she was too good to be in a place like this, if her glares were anything to go by.

Remus was going to calm Sirius down when his attention drifted to James that fidgeted on the tree trunk next to him.

"My god, mates! Do you see that girl over there? The redheaded one next to the horse-face?" James vibrated from excitement as he lifted his right hand to ruffle his hair. He brought up his glasses higher on his nose before he lifted his hand to point at the girl, but Remus quickly stopped him, apparently the only one of them that noticed McGonagall's constant stare at them.

"Where?" Peter shouted over the loud noise that echoed around them as the older boys rose up to greet the older girls. Out of the corner of his eyes Remus saw Sirius send death glares in the direction of his cousins that were sure to greet Malfoy and his kind.

"Hey Pete, scoot over, would you?" James hushed as he reached out to push Peter further away from him.

"Hey! What do you think you're doing?" He shrieked, determinedly staying on his spot.

"Hurry! She's walking over here! I need to make room for her!" James hissed, pushing on Peter with more force.

Remus rolled his eyes.

The girl obviously wasn't going to sit down next to them. Not unless she was out of her mind. Sirius glared at about anyone, Peter alternated between dozing off or eating candy, James ruffled his hair constantly as he eyed the redheaded girl and Remus grimaced under the stern stare of McGonagall.

They really looked like a couple of fools.

During the next fifteen minutes the girls from the other camp had sat down and joined the circle of campers around the bonfire. And Slughorn had brought out marshmallows that the campers grilled on the fire at the end of long sticks. Remus watched as James and Peter grilled about twenty marshmallows each over the fire.

Remus munched on a piece of chocolate leftover from their slumber party the day before that he had sneaked out in his trouser pocket. He chewed on it while he let his eyes wander around the many boys and girls around them.

He spotted a redheaded older girl talk to the Prewett twins, and realized that it might be their sister or another relative.

To their right sat Dumbledore having a conversation with Sprout and Pomfrey, making them chuckle every other second or so. Remus thought Dumbledore smiled at them mysteriously, and received a couple of mysterious grins back for himself. Remus narrowed his eyes at them. He couldn't place it, but there was something about Dumbledore that made him stand out from the others.

Remus tore his eyes from them to look over at the ones sitting next to them. He saw the second year Frank talk to a girl that seemed to be of the same age. She had dark hair, freckles and kind eyes. But next to her sat James' center of attention; the redheaded girl with determined green eyes that glistened in the light of the fire, and a kind smile. She wore a flower dress, and squinting Remus thought he could make out the flowers on the pattern; lilies.

The horse-faced girl sitting next to her looked older, but she also wore a dress with flower patterns. It took Remus longer to remember the name of the flowers but then he got it; it was petunias. He wondered if the girls shared an interest in flowers or if they perhaps were related. They didn't look much alike except for perhaps their noses. They were the same.

Remus quickly looked away when he saw the horse-faced girl glare at him angrily.

"See you later!" James chirped as he suddenly jumped up from his seat.

"Where are you going?" Sirius asked, finally snapping out of his glare competition with his cousins.

"Why, to the fair lady of course!" James sang, sounding too happy considering that the girl hadn't aimed him a single glance yet.

"Good luck! You'll need it." Sirius smacked James' arm, laughing at him. James grunted and ruffled Sirius' hair once before he was off.

"Should I follow him?" Sirius asked Remus, raising an eyebrow at him.

"I'll do it." Peter said when Remus had opened his mouth to answer him.

Remus watched as Peter rose up from his slouching position to trail after James who had reached the girls and was receiving disapproving glares from them all the while.

"Want a marshmallow?"

Remus looked over at Sirius who had picked up James' neglected stick with roasted marshmallows.

"Yes, thank you." Remus smiled.

Sirius grinned back at him.

They shared the marshmallows between them and chewed in silence as they watched the fire slowly burn out. Filch threw a couple of firewood's on it but it only made it worse.

When Remus had eaten four marshmallows James stumbled back to them, eyes positively formed into the shapes of hearts.

"He's completely mental." Peter stated as he slumped down on his seat while helping James to sit down next to him.

"She- she's perfect… she-she's an... angel." James mumbled dreamily, absolutely starstrucked. Remus stared at him. Was he serious?

"What happened?" Sirius chuckled, probably going to mock James about it later.

"Her- her name... Her name's _Lily_." James hugged himself as he dreamily gazed out in the distance.

Remus voiced a low 'oh' when he thought back to the girl's dress.

"Is her friend's name Petunia?" He asked James who snapped out of his dreamy state long enough to stare at Remus incredulously.

"How did you know?" He frowned, but didn't keep his focus on Remus long enough to hear him out.

Remus shook his head when James started mumbling nonsense about this Lily girl he had only met once.

"Fancy another marshmallow?" Sirius asked as he reached out his hand in front of Remus', one lonely marshmallow lying on his palm.

Remus smiled. He took it and placed it on his tongue, relished in the sweet flavor.

"Hey, those are mine!" Peter shouted as he angrily reached for the stick of marshmallows held in Sirius' hand.

"Not anymore! You left them and finders keepers!" Sirius told him, holding out the stick with at arm's length. Peter muttered a set of curses before he walked away to find another stick and hurry to roast a new set of marshmallows before the fire went out completely.

Sirius snickered when he lowered the stolen stick to lie in his lap. He offered Remus another marshmallow that he accepted with another smile.

As Remus sat there, in between Sirius and James on the bench as he watched Peter in the warmth of the bonfire he felt himself smile for real.

He realized that this was what it felt like to have friends, or no, this was what it felt like to have _best_ friends.

It felt like a miracle. His which had come true.

He wasn't alone anymore.

 


	8. Moony, Wormtail, Padfoot and Prongs

"You're it!"

"No, you're it!"

"Eh, no? I was it the last time!"

"Okay, Pete's it."

"Don't drag me into this, I'm not even playing."

Remus opened his eyes from where he had drifted off against a tree. He rubbed his eyes, taking in the scene in front of him.

They had played different games in the forest for hours as they searched for holes in the electricity fence. Sadly, they had yet to find a hole, but on the bright side they had laughed to much that Remus had to pause in favor of resting up, leaning against a tree.

Remus rose up to standing position and made his way over to his bickering friends. They had played tag while he dozed off.

"Why don't we play a new game?" Remus asked, eager to lose the tension that had built up among his friends.

His proposal immediately got the attention of the others that always wanted to try something new.

"What have you got?" Sirius asked as he wiped his sweaty forehead on his arm.

"Have we played it before?" James asked curiously.

"Have you made something up for us to play?" Peter asked, actually looking as excited as the others.

"I don't know if I'm the first one to think of the idea but we've never played it before." Remus explained while he stretched his limbs.

When he received encouraging nods he went on with his explanation.

"One of us is to wear a blindfold over his eyes. Let's say it's me. So when I've put on the blindfold I'm supposed to count to ten loudly and at the same time you take your positions at most ten meters around me. When I've counted to ten I'll walk around and try to find and tag you. But because I can't see it's difficult and the whole point is to strain my ears to listen for your footsteps. "

"You are allowed to move around, but only move at most one meter every thirty seconds." Remus explained and waited for the others' confused expressions to turn into one of understanding.

When they didn't Remus explained it all another time. And then a third. But then they finally understood the rules.

"What if we cheat? I'm not saying we're going to, but you know, if you can't see and all..?" James asked honestly.

Remus smacked his lips at him disapprovingly. "You can only play this game with people you trust, considering that the counter can't see and that the other players aren't allowed to move around however they want." He scolded James.

"But yeah, I guess it makes sense. It won't be any fun if you search for us in the blind while we're hundreds of meters away." James shrugged.

After they had all agreed on playing honestly they played a game of rock, paper, scissors resulting in Remus ending up as the first to count. They walked further away from the fence, not wanting to burn themselves on it by mistake, and then Remus loosened his belt to use as a blindfold, and even tucked a napkin underneath to make it less see through.

When he was set he started counting to ten out loud while covering his ears, not wanting to hear what direction his friends went.

When he was done he stood totally still at the spot and strained his ears, eager to catch on to the slightest of sounds.

He heard something fall to the ground and them a muffled "Ow!" Quickly he ran towards the spot where he thought he had heard the sound. With his arm outreached he swatted his hand in the air, trying to find the person.

He stumbled when his right foot bumped into something that voiced another muffled "Ow,". Remus crouched down with a grin as his hand came in contact Peter.

"You fell to the ground, didn't you?" Remus laughed, hands patting Peter's head until he swatted them away with a grunt.

"This game is silly anyway..." Peter muttered as he stood up and walked away from the field, or at least Remus thought he did, he couldn't see a thing through the blindfold.

He strained his ears for any sounds again. He jerked on the spot when he heard a breach break in front of him. There was someone there!

He walked forward with determined steps and arms reached out. His hands soon came in contact with a smiling face, clad with a pair of glasses. James.

"Found you." Remus chuckled.

"Yeah, yeah, whatever." James was a sore loser but he still laughed as he walked over to stand next to Peter.

Remus strained his ears as he listened for any clues to where Sirius was. But the minutes went on and he didn't hear a thing except for the light breeze and low voices of James and Peter that were meters away.

Remus frowned as he slowly walked forward. Had Sirius gone back to the camp?

"Give me a hint!" Remus shouted. He didn't know if hints were allowed, he had just made up the rules before they started. But since he was the game-leader right now he supposed he could add that possibility to the game.

"What do you mean by 'hint'?" Remus startled. He thought the question came from Sirius, but then he recognized the voice as James'.

"Ehm, I don't know? Maybe throw something to guide me in the general direction?" Remus spoke over his shoulder in the direction James voice had come from, but he might as well had spoken to a tree.

"Like what? A shoe?" Peter asked.

Remus smiled as he shrugged. "Sure, why not?"

"Okay Sirius, give him something to work with!" James shouted, making Remus snap his head from side to side. Sirius was somewhere around him after all. He hadn't left.

"Shh!" Remus scolded the other as he strained his ears for any clues to Sirius' direction.

He heard the soft thud of something hitting the ground about one meter to his right. Quickly Remus rushed over there with his arms reached out in front of him, frowning. He stepped on something that felt like a shoe, and picking it up from the ground he got his suspicion proved.

"Sirius, is this your shoe?" He asked, trying a new tactic. If he fooled Sirius to answer him he would reveal his position...

But he didn't answer. In fact, Sirius stayed so silent that Remus started to feel bored.

He slowly walked around some more, shoe in one hand, the other one reached out in front of him as he walked around in the blind. When he heard James and Peter snicker from their spot loudly he stopped his walking around and lowered his hand to hang by his side.

"What's so funny?" He shouted over his shoulder.

"Nothing!" James shrieked, laughing even louder.

"Doesn't seem like it's nothing." Remus muttered, turning his head forward again. He heaved a defeated sigh before he decided to call the game to a stop. If he still hadn't found Sirius he would never find him. Remus had lost, Sirius had won. But it didn't matter. The point was to have fun and Remus had had that.

"Sirius you've won!" He shouted to the darkness in front of him under the blindfold. "I'm taking off the blindfold now but stay where you are." He started to loosen his belt. When he lowered it he covered his eyes from the bright light of the forest.

He lowered his hand and opened his eyes to look in front of him and immediately jumped on the spot.

"Sirius!"

Sirius stood not one meter away from him, mischievous glint in his eyes, hands slammed over his mouth to cover any sounds that threatened to slip out.

"You've been there the whole time?" Remus asked him in disbelief, his heart going back to its usual calm beating.

"No, I trailed after you." Sirius grinned proudly.

"Did you cheat?" James asked as he and Peter joined them.

Sirius looked offended from where he dramatically covered his mouth with his hand in a gasp. "No, I would never! How could you say that? You saw me the entire time."

"Relax, I'm just checking." James threw his hands in the air in surrender.

"I didn't cheat..." Sirius muttered to the ground. Remus patted his shoulder.

"It's one-zero to you now Sirius. You're really good at this game." He complimented, earning him a smile from Sirius whose self-confidence grew immensely.

"I know, right? I'm a natural." Sirius smiled cockily, making Remus roll his eyes.

Remus gave Sirius back his shoe and watched as he put it back on.

"It's your turn." James jabbed his index finger in Peter's shoulder, making him squirm.

"Okay, okay, don't jab me!" Peter murmured as James proceeded to jab another finger on Peter's chest teasingly.

They played another round of the game, but this time with Peter as the counter, wearing the blindfold. He found James first, then Remus, but he also had some trouble finding Sirius. In the end he had to announce Sirius as the victor, earning him two-zero wins.

The same thing happened as James played as the counter. He found Peter first, and Remus a couple of minutes later. But he couldn't find Sirius.

James took longer before he declared his defeat and announced another win to Sirius who wore a constant grin on his face. Sirius really seemed to love how easy it was for him to win. Remus didn't understand how he did it. He sneaked around on the grass without making the slightest of sounds. It was almost as if he had magical feet or something.

"How do you do it?" James demanded as he gave the blindfold back to Remus when all except for Sirius were tired of the game.

"What do you mean?" Sirius threaded a hand through his hair, looking sure of himself.

"How are you so quiet?" Remus cut in.

"You're not even barefoot!" Peter exclaimed, baffled.

"I told you; I'm a natural." Sirius lifted one eyebrow at them, but James grunted and Remus rolled his eyes at Sirius' self-centered declaration.

"It's almost as if you've got pads or something." Remus murmured to the ground, watching the grass flatten out under his shoes.

"Yeah, it's like you have pad-feet! That's why you can move around without making any sounds!" Peter shouted, unnecessarily loud, making Remus cover his ears with his hands.

"What are you on about?" Sirius asked, but his voice got lost in the sudden exclamation shout from James.

"Padfoot!" James shouted as he pointed at Sirius.

Sirius frowned, reached out a hand to lower James' pointing finger that threatened to stab him in the eye.

"You are _Padfoot_!" James grinned, hands motioning at Sirius.

"No, I'm Sirius?" Sirius huffed, looking around, waiting for anyone to make the joke that got old the day Sirius was born.

"You're Padfoot now." James nodded to himself. "Right?" James elbowed Peter in the ribs, making him nod while whining in pain.

"I get your idea, but why would we call Sirius 'Padfoot' all of a sudden?" Remus asked James, not neglecting the idea but not approving of it either.

"Wouldn't it be cool though? If we all had codenames or something?" James' eyes glistened excitedly. "Sirius can be Padfoot and I can be, ehm, hmm..." James frowned. "We'll need to think of names for the rest of us, but for now Sirius is Padfoot!" He patted Sirius on the back.

"I don't know whether to feel honored or confused?" Sirius chuckled, but when he let the name set for a while he smiled to himself. Remus thought he liked the name as well.

 _Padfoot_.

Remus let the name echo in his head for the rest of the evening that they spent searching for a hole in the fence. They all gasped when they found a great oak tree whose breaches reached high over the fence, allowing them an entrance to the other side.

After deciding who was to climb over the fence first Remus watched as James slowly climbed higher on the big tree. James slid his body over the thick breach, looking afraid as he suddenly was positioned above the buzzing electricity fence. But soon he was on the other side where the breach led him to another tree that he used to climb down.

When James was safely on the other side he laughed and threw himself on the untouched grass.

Quickly Sirius had made his way over to the other side as well, and after him came Peter.

With some persuasion Remus found himself on the other side of the fence as well. He didn't know why but being on the other side made him feel free. He watched as the forest went on for hundreds of meters in all directions, and with one glance at his three friends he started running around in the free, his friends joining him.

The four of them threw themselves on beds of flowers, climbed new trees and found a stream where they dipped their feet. They ran around until they were out of breath, sweaty and their cheeks hurt from the extent of their laughing.

Out there it felt like the only thing that existed was the four of them. Only Remus, Sirius, James and Peter. No summer camps, no schools, no chores, bullies or anything troublesome. There was just the wonderful summer air and the freedom of the forest.

They reached a glade where they laid down next to each other on the damp grass. It was getting dark and Remus could just make out the first stars on the night sky. He knew that he should feel worried about them being in the middle of nowhere as it got dark, but he didn't. He felt content and happy as he lay splayed on the grass next to his friends.

Remus laughed when James found a lily and then started caressing it, pretending that it was the girl from the bonfire the other day.

Remus folded his arms under his head as he turned his attention back to the sky that darkened significantly by the minute. He could make out most of the stars in the constellation of big dipper, and felt a smile tug at his lips when he remembered the wish he had made during one of the first days he spent at the camp. Back then he had watched the stars feeling lonely. Feeling so much different than he did now.

Remus glanced over at Sirius that lay next to him and felt the smile turn into a proud grin. He wasn't alone now. He had friends.

He turned his attention back to the stars just as he saw the moon come out. His eyes widened and he lifted his finger to point.

"Look! It's a full moon!" Remus urged his friends to look, but they didn't even seem remotely as interested by it as he felt.

"So?" Peter mumbled, dozing off as usual.

"What do you mean 'so'? It only happens about every twenty eighth day or so. It will be a whole _month_ before the moon is this full again!" Remus explained, voice astonished.

"Cool." Sirius whistled, actually trying to seem interested. Remus felt another smile tug at his lips from Sirius' consideration but before he got any time to discuss the mystery of the beautiful moon with Sirius James' voice interrupted them.

"I have it!"

All heads turned to look over at James who had dropped the lily flower in favor of staring at Remus excitedly.

"What do you mean?" Peter mumbled, rubbing the tiredness from his eyes.

" _Moony_." James grinned at Remus who frowned back at him.

"Excuse me?" Remus didn't understand what he meant, but then he heard Sirius voice an understanding 'aaa' from next to him, and Peter chuckle once.

"Your codename; Moony." James blinked at him expectantly and that's when Remus understood. They wanted to _call_ him Moony.

"Oh... but why? He asked, voice uncertain. "I mean Remus works just fine. You don't have to make up a nickname-"

"I hereby declare you as Mister Moony!" James interrupted, voice loud, echoing around the glade.

"It's brilliant, yeah?" James asked the others, earning him a grunt from Peter and nod from Sirius.

Remus shrugged, but felt a thankful smile splay on his lips. James cared enough about him to give him a nickname. It was thoughtful and funny and suddenly Remus felt so very thankful for his friends. They didn't leave him behind. Instead they included him.

Smiling, Remus turned his attention back to the moon that now acted as his namesake.

 _Moony_.

''''''''''

"I dare you to take a sip from the puddle over there." Sirius dared James whose face screwed up into a grimace.

"No way!" James gave Sirius a push that made him stumble back.

"So you're dropping out? You're a _chicken_?" Sirius knew exactly what to say to make James go along with just about anything.

James glared at Sirius before he turned around, heading for the stream. He crouched down and then lowered his cupped hands. Remus heard the slurp as James gulped down the water, and then watched as he stage-retched on the spot.

"I'm. Not. A. Chicken!" James declared when he rose up to standing position.

Remus rolled his eyes at them.

They had spent their free time of the past couple of days exploring the vast forest, and had added the new information they gathered to the Map. They had marked out the hidden passageway over the electricity fence as well, not wanting to forget about it later.

They had played tag for an hour but then Sirius and James had gotten bored and wanted to play something else. Now they played 'dare' with each other, and Remus and Peter had played with them in the beginning, but dropped out when the game turned into eating things. So far Sirius had licked a tree, tasted mud and chewed on his sleeve. James had done the same things but sipped water from the stream as well. Remus had warned them about bacteria and possible diseased they could catch by tasting mysterious things out in the nature, but they had pretended they were deaf when he scolded them.

Remus walked over to suggest Sirius and James that they head back since he wanted to work some more on the Map. He left a snoring Peter behind him as he made his way over to his friends. He saw Sirius take a sip of the water in front of him and sighed. If they got sick they could _not_ come to Remus for support.

"Are you done?" Remus placed his hands on his hips as he eyed his friends disapprovingly.

"Wait, just one more." Sirius urged in between 'yucks' as he wiped his tongue on his sleeve.

Remus nodded and watched as Sirius walked to James and threw an arm over his shoulders.

"I dare you to eat grass." Sirius ruffled James' hair before James struggled to loosen Sirius' grip.

"No way!" James shouted, successfully freeing himself from Sirius' grip.

Sirius lifted his eyebrows. "You sure you refuse? It would mean that I win." He sang confidently, making James vibrate with frustration.

"Argh, okay! I'll do it." James grunted as he searched the ground for a patch of untouched grass. Remus scrunched up his nose in disgust. What if a rabbit had peed on the grass James was to eat?

James crouched down, pulled off a fistful of grass from the ground and lifted it to his mouth. "I can't believe I'm doing this..." He mumbled just before he propped the grass in his mouth.

Remus and Sirius watched as James chewed and waited for some sort of reaction.

When James chewed on the grass and then proceeded to swallow it with an almost normal expression Remus frowned. Did James like the flavor?

"It wasn't _that_ bad." James declared with a slightly amused expression.

Sirius laughed at him, not believing his ears. "Are you serious?"

"I think the both of us know which one of us who's serious." James grinned at Sirius, teeth green from the grass, the sight making Remus grimace.

"But yeah, I don't know? It wasn't that bad." James shrugged.

Remus was going to finally drag them back to the camp when he saw James crouch down again, hand reaching for another fistful of grass.

"What are you doing?" Remus warned.

James didn't answer. Instead he lifted another handful of grass to his mouth. Remus' eyes widened as he watched James chew and swallow the grass with a funny expression on his face.

"Are you pretending that you're a deer or something?" Remus asked him, not sure whether to feel amused or repulsed by James' peculiar behavior.

James' eyes suddenly darted to the ground. He rushed off somewhere and then returned with a set of big, long, pointy branches in his hands. He lifted them to the top of his head, probably supposed to look like antlers. He then leaned forward and dragged his right foot on the ground before he rushed towards Sirius that stopped laughing as a surprised shout escaped his lips.

Remus watched, befuddled, as deer-James chased Sirius around in a circle, both of them laughing loudly.

After a while James skittered down to a stop. He reached out a hand to drag a leaf of a tree and then chewed on it.

"Grass eater!" Sirius teased him as he walked over to pat James on his back. James grinned at him before he lowered his breach-antlers to the ground. Remus' eyes trailed them as they fell to the ground. His eyes traces the sharp points at the end of one breach and then an idea hit him.

"Prongs!"

James and Sirius both turned their attention to Remus who made his way over to them with a smug grin. Remus pointed first at the antlers, then at James. With a smile he repeated "Prongs."

James frowned, but Sirius' face lit up as he started laughing again.

"Ha! You're Prongs now James!" Sirius nudged James' shoulder.

James stared at Remus for a second but then his face lit up as well.

"Mate! That's brilliant!" He grinned before he aimed a friendly punch on Remus' shoulder.

"Glad you like it because that's your name now."  Remus teased as he tried to duck another punch from James.

" _Prongs_!" James repeated to himself, voice astonished.

Remus shared a look with Sirius and then turned around to head back for the camp. He stopped when they reached the tree Peter was sleeping next to. He wondered how he should best wake him up but got his question answered when he heard a loud bang coming from above him.

"What!?" Peter shrieked as he forcefully jerked awake and sat up.

Remus had startled and snapped his head around to locate the sound. When he saw Sirius look up the sky Remus copied him. And looking up he saw dark clouds blow in and actually felt a light spray of raindrops land on his skin.

"It was just the thunder." Sirius told Peter as he reached out his hand to help him get up.

Remus frowned at the sky. It looked like a storm was approaching if the massive dark clouds were anything to go by.

James walked past Remus to help Sirius haul Peter up, and when they were all on their feet they started their walk back to the camp again. They walked in a comfortable silence, ears listening to the thunderstorm above them. And every other minute or so they saw a lightning light up the forest. The rain steadily got heavier, and soon they had cupped their hands over their eyes as they jogged towards the fence.

Just as James was about to climb up the tree they heard Peter a shout in surprise.

"Hey, look! A worm!" He exclaimed as he crouched down.

Remus frowned. It was unusual to find worms in the summer and he had yet to find one in this forest.

"Where?" Sirius asked, crouching down as well. Remus did the same and followed Peter's index finger that pointed at the ground next to a small stone. Remus thought he saw a patch of grey fur but looked away in favor of finding the worm instead.

"There!" Peter pointed fiercely at the spot. "James, look!" He urged.

Sirius started snickering. "He's Prongs now." He told Peter sincerely.

James ruffled Sirius hair and tsked when he reached them. "You can still call me James, Pete." He told Peter whose cheeks had turned red.

Remus turned his attention back to Peter's pointing finger. Remus followed it until he found the worm. Or, wait. Remus narrowed his eyes, squinting at it. It was too thick to be a worm. Too long…

Remus stared at the 'worm' a second longer. Then he gasped.

"It's not a worm! It's a rat tail!" He shouted. Suddenly the patch of grey fur he had seen made sense; a rat had been killed there.

Peter screamed in fear as he struggled to make some distance to the rat tail. He stumbled and butt first on the ground in the process.

Remus grimaced as he rose up from the ground, eager to head back for the camp already. He made to start walking when James' laughter got his attention.

"Wormtail! That's your name now!" James patted Peter's back, making him squeal.

"Oh no." Peter groaned. "Why do I have to be 'Wormtail'? What's even a wormtail? Worms doesn't have tails!" Peter babbled.

"Relax, it's a totally cool name." Sirius reassured Peter before he stood up as well, positioning himself next to Remus.

"You think?" Peter pleaded to his friends that all nodded approvingly. With a small smile Peter nodded to himself while voicing a low 'Wormtail' under his breath, getting the feel of it.

"It's a brilliant name." James smiled, but then his expression turned smug. "Don't you think so... _Wormy_?"

Peter gasped but before he had time to reprimand James he had sprung up and rushed to the tree. In the blink of an eye he had climbed up the tree and positioned himself above the fence. With a grin he jumped down on the other side and then ran off in the direction of the camp.

Remus shook his head at him. Though, when another loud thunder reached his ears he walked toward the tree to climb over the fence as well. And when he was on the other side he watched as Peter and Sirius followed.

Together they made their way back to cabin 7, clothes drippling from the pouring rain, breaths rugged from their extensive running. But it was with a smile that Remus opened the door to their cabin.

As he walked over to his bed he let his eyes linger on his friends. And then he glanced down on himself. They weren't just James, Sirius, Remus and Peter in cabin 7 anymore. They were something more, something absolutely brilliant but excitedly secret.

They were Moony, Wormtail, Padfoot and Prongs.


	9. Rain

Remus jerked as the thunder surprised him for what felt like the hundredth time that evening.

Sighing, he turned his head to look out the window. He was immediately met by the sight of water hitting the glass, making a smattering sound.

It had poured down constantly for over a day now. All activities had been cancelled and the campers only left their cabins to eat.

Remus had spent the day alternating between reading and working on the map. He had gotten help drawing from his friends, them all helping out for about one hour each before they got bored and started doing something else.

Remus placed his book on his nightstand. He glanced over at Peter who read some sort of comic book, or magazine. Remus didn't know, he wasn't interested. He preferred books with only text, or with black and white drawn illustrations.

He walked over to the main door to switch on the lights. It was only about eight PM but it had been dark outside all day. Though, for once Remus had an excuse for his long sleeved clothes that didn't feel as uncomfortably warm that day.

He walked over to the desk next to the door, pulled the chair out and sat down for another session with the map. It was almost finished already; he only had to add a couple of details, and, well, think of a name for it of course.

He had just lifted his pen when the door swung open, revealing the soaking wet figures of James and Sirius that ran inside, panting, slamming the door shut after them.

"How did it go?" Remus asked them, reaching out his arms to retrieve their stolen goods.

"Mission accomplished." James high fived Sirius, both of them alternating between laughing over their success or groaning from their wet clothes.

"Did you get the sour skulls? Or the treacle tart?" Peter asked from his bed, not having moved even a centimeter from his spot.

"Yeah we got it all." Sirius explained while he started taking off his wet clothes,  James doing the same. They both slowly made their way over to the bathroom.

"I'll use the shower first!" Sirius suddenly shouted as he shoved James out of the way and made him stumble. Before James had time to rise up from where he'd fallen on the floor Sirius quickly slipped inside the bathroom and locked the door behind him. Remus could hear Sirius laughter coming from inside.

James banged on the door and muttered curses at Sirius while he waited for him to finish.

''''''''''

One hour later Remus found himself lying on top of his bedsheets, pillows and Teddy in the middle of the cabin floor just like he had the week prior. To his left lay Sirius, to his right Peter and across from him James. In the middle lay a pile of different sweets. As soon as James had emptied their stolen goods Remus had snatched the only chocolate bar, and now he relished in the sweet flavor of it.

He heard the faint boom of the retreating thunder and felt himself jolt at the sound. He felt a tad uneasy, due to a combination of the dark room, the low clatter of the rain hitting the window and the sound of the wind that threatened to overthrow their cabin.

But Remus was also scared due to the fact that they were going to tell each other ghost stories.

Remus could be easily frightened at times, like during the night or if someone creeped up on him from behind. He had been afraid of shadows and monsters luring under his bed since the accident so he didn't fell all too excited for the upcoming evening. In fact he felt a crippling fear snake its way up his chest where it lingered, making him fidget nervously on top of his blankets.

He watched as James flicked the torch on, making it light up his head from under his chin, making him look creepy. James did a funny grimace before he swallowed the candy he had been munching on to speak.

"Strain your ears because here I go." James declared before he started speaking in a low, dark voice.

" _The floorboards creaked all around me, making me huddle deeper underneath the bed where I was-_ What's so funny Padfoot?" James glared at Sirius ad he threw a candy at him.

"Sorry," Sirius snickered, not sounding sorry at all. "It's just, your voice, it's so funny," Sirius slammed a hand over his mouth to hide the chuckles.

Remus had been so afraid already that he hadn't thought twice about James' voice, but now that he did he thought James had sounded a bit strange. Looking to his right Remus saw Peter hide a grin under his hand as well.

"Sod off." James muttered as he threw a candy at Peter. "I don't get what you mean but sure, I'll speak normally if my super-cool-and-totally-badass storytelling voice is too much for you. I'm a kind man." James ruffled his hair before he flashed them a confident grin.

James received three sets of tsks and sighs but then it was silent in the cabin again so he restarted with his storytelling.

" _The floorboards creaked all around me, making me huddle deeper in underneath the bed where I was hiding._

_Opening my eyes I caught a glimpse of the shadow that slowly made its way toward the bed. I quickly tried to push myself further back, but then I hit the wall._

_I felt the panic peak as the shadow hit the side of the bed. Please don't look under the bed, please don't look under the bed, I repeated for myself, but my pleas were useless._

_I watched as the shadow slowly flew in under the bed, its limbs tracing the floor just in front of my head._

_I wanted to scream, I wanted to run. But before I had time for any of it the shadow had reached me and it all went black._

_I was dead."_

"The end!" James chirped. He flicked the torch off and reached for a treacle tart.

"That story was lame." Sirius teased James, earning him an offended gasp.

"Lame you say? I bet you got so afraid that you just wet your pants!" James laughed at Sirius, the sounds blending in with the constant clattering of the rain.

"Not me, but Wormy might have wet his pants." Sirius turned his head to the side to motion at Peter who stared at them incredulously.

"Me? I would never!" He piped, poking James on his shoulder.

The three of them laughed together, but then they noticed that Remus hadn't said a word. They turned their attention to him but felt their eyes widened when they saw his expression.

Remus lay still in fear on his blankets. He hugged Teddy tightly to his chest and had buried himself underneath his blanket. He looked afraid and was almost shaking.

Remus swallowed. He was too scared to notice the three sets of stares which made him jolt when he felt a hand land on his shoulder.

"Are you alright?"

Turning his head to the side Remus saw Sirius look at him with worry in his eyes. Remus felt himself relax some when his mind realized that the hand belonged to Sirius. It didn't belong to the shadow. Ghosts weren't real. (At least Remus hoped so.)

"Are you afraid?" Sirius asked when he didn't get an answer to his first question. This time Remus nodded slowly, unsure of how to answer him. He didn't want to be afraid, or easily scared, but he couldn't help it.

Suddenly he felt guilty for the fact that he had interrupted their slumber party.

"Sorry." He pleaded, eyes honest as he looked Sirius in the eyes.

"What are you apologizing for?" Sirius smiled at him before he reached out a hand to ruffle Remus' hair, making him involuntarily smile back.

"I'm sorry that I got so scared." Remus shrugged.

"But that's the point!" James exclaimed with a smile of his own.

"Yeah." Peter mumbled, mouth full of candy.

Remus frowned as he lowered his gaze to stare at his pillow. He didn't want to go on with the ghost stories but didn't know how to say it. He didn't want to destroy the fun for the others, didn't want to be a burden.

"Do you want to do something else?" Sirius asked, gaining Remus' attention again.

Remus felt his cheeks burn as he nodded.

"Is it okay?" He heard Sirius ask the others who mumbled replies.

Remus glanced at Sirius, smiling at him shyly. He was too kind. He always cared about how Remus felt.

Sirius smiled back at him as the four of them shared ideas of what else to do. They ended up telling each other kind stories instead. That left them all feeling happy or giddy with excitement from the adventures of the main character.

They had a splendid sleep over, all four of them laughing and having fun as they ate candy and made up unbelievable stories for each other.

By midnight the candy and pastries was gone, the four of them had gotten ready separately in the bathroom, and now lay on their beds ready to hit sleep. Peter had fallen asleep within a second, James following him after a minute or two.

Remus however did not fall asleep as quickly.

He lay fidgeting on his sheets, turning from side to side as he helplessly hugged Teddy tighter. He resolutely kept his eyes closed shut, afraid of lurking shadows. He had also brought up one hand to clasp over his ear, trying to shield himself from the creaking of the walls that occurred when the wind hit their cabin from the outside.

Remus buried himself under his blanket but had to return to the outside world when it got too hot, the air too bad.

He was scared, and the fact that he lay in the middle of the cabin totally exposed for bypassing ghosts only made it worse.

He let out a small whine of fear but jolted and squeaked when he felt a hand settle on his back. He snapped his eyes open as his heart beat rapidly out of fear in his chest, his breath hitching when he realized that the hand must belong to a shadow.

He swallowed and made to turn his head to the side when he heard a voice whisper from his left.

"Moony, Remus?"

Sirius.

Remus let out a breath he didn't knew he had been holding as his body relaxed. The hand didn't belong to a ghost; it belonged to Sirius. Of course. But wait; why wasn't Sirius asleep yet?

"Yeah?" Remus whispered back, slowly turning around so that he faced Sirius in the darkness of their cabin. He wasn't sure but he thought he could make out Sirius looking concerned.

"Can't sleep?" Sirius retreat his hand, making Remus feel oddly alone.

"No," Remus piped. If he was honest he did start to feel better when he knew that he wasn't the only one who struggled falling asleep.

"Are you scared?"

"Yeah." Remus mumbled, feeling stupid for the fact that he was scared of ghosts. But Sirius didn't laugh at him, no, instead Remus watched as Sirius got up from his make-shift bed on the floor and slowly made his way over to Remus.

"Scoot over." Sirius mumbled, hand motioning for Remus to lift the blanket. He did as he was told, moving Teddy away from the side Sirius sat down on. Together they lifted the blanket again, making it cover the both of them up to their chins.

Remus felt Sirius warm body press against his, his presence making him feel safer. He turned his head to the side to look at Sirius who looked back at him. Remus felt himself blush for some reason so he quickly looked away to stare up at the ceiling instead.

He had never shared a bed with _anyone_. And perhaps it wasn't that odd considering that he'd never really had a best friend before, but he still felt unsure of how to act with another person so close to him. The whole friendship thing was still new to him, and he didn't want to accidentally do the wrong thing.

But then he remembered that he'd done just fine until now by being himself so he let took a deep breath and then tried to act as himself.

But then he frowned. How did he act normally? And his arms that lay pressed to his sides, what was he supposed to do with them?

Remus' trail of thought was interrupted when Sirius whispered close to his ear.

"Do you feel better now?"

Remus did. He felt safe, certain that Sirius would protect him from any approaching shadows. Though, he still wondered what to do with his arms, or how to act when being this close to another person. But before he had any time to form a good answer he felt Sirius shift from where he lay next to him.

Remus' eyes widened as he felt a set of arms wrap around him, splaying over his chest. He then felt Sirius body press up against his back, and Sirius' nose bump into the back of his head. At first Remus' whole body tensed but when he felt the comfortable heat radiating from Sirius' body he relaxed and leaned back into the embrace.

"How about now?" Sirius mumbled against his hair.

Remus felt a smile tug at his lips. It was years since he had been held like this, and then it had been by his mother who wasn't nearly as warm as Sirius, and never in bed.

He didn't know what it was but somehow he felt safe, secure and comfortable at the same time with Sirius hugging him. His fears disappeared and instead he was left with a lingering warmth in his chest.

"Yes much better." Remus smiled. He lifted his hand and gave one of Sirius' a light squeeze as a thank you. He thought he felt Sirius smile against his hair.

"Good night Moony." Sirius whispered, his arms tightening their grip around Remus' chest. Remus didn't complain though; he felt more secure now than he'd ever felt with Teddy that now lay forgotten in front of him.

"Night Padfoot." Remus whispered as he finally felt himself fall asleep.

''''''''''

"I swear! He just disappeared! Right in front of my eyes!" James desperately tried to convince them.

"But he can't just disappear though?" Peter muttered, tired after having listened to James' story three times already.

"It's impossible." Remus stated, but he _was_ immensely curious.

"I'm telling the truth!" James almost shouted.

"Relax, you don't have to scream." Sirius rolled his eyes.

"Do you want me to explain what I saw again?" James asked, but stayed silent when Peter groaning slammed his hands other James' mouth.

James had told them that he had trailed Dumbledore after lunch, just to see where he went every day considering that he was rarely seen at dinner. James had followed him at a safe distance until he saw him stop just outside Slughorn's office. There he had turned around on the spot and _disappeared_.

Remus didn't know what to make of the story. He knew that James was no liar, but it just seemed too weird to be true.

"But how do you explain that he just 'disappeared'?" Remus' eyebrows were furrowed in thought as he contemplated the information again. Then he realized something.

"Wait, you don't think that he's a-"

"...Wizard." Sirius filled in, eyes wide in disbelief.

Peter mumbled something about a mental institution, but James' entire face lit up at the suggestion.

"Yes! That's exactly what I think." James exclaimed.

Remus searched the sitting crowd of boys and girls around the bonfire until he found Dumbledore idly chatting with McGonagall. Remus squinted at him. He did look a bit funny; he was the only one present that had a long white beard and hair after all. And today he even wore a long robe. Remus frowned. What normal person wore a robe in the middle of July?

Could he be a wizard though?

Remus' turned the information about Dumbledore back and forth, but when he realized they hadn't got enough information to draw any conclusions he dropped it.

James seemed to have dropped the subject as well as he bounced up from his seat to walk over to Lily that sat on the other side of the bonfire, chatting with her friends.

Remus received a stick from Sirius which he used to roast marshmallows over the fire. When the marshmallows were done Sirius suggested Remus to eat them with a piece of chocolate from the chocolate bar he'd brought in his pocket. Remus did as he was told and smiled at the wonderful flavor.

He gave Sirius half of what was left of the chocolate bar, the both of them proceeding to munch on their marshmallow and chocolate treats.

Next to them Peter ate his marshmallows raw as he sneaked his fingers into his pocket to bring out a sugar skull now and then.

After a while James returned to them, his face pink and eyes dreamy. For the rest of the evening he whispered insanities about how fair or kind this Lily girl was.

Around eleven the girls retreated to their own camp with McGonagall in tow. James' eyes trailed Lily as she walked past them, sending a glare in James' direction that he didn't seem to notice.

The boys lingered by the bonfire some more but then they retreated as well. Remus watched as Sirius got up from his seat before he followed after him. Peter followed suit, hand dragging James with him as he headed back for their cabin.

When the four of them reached their door Remus swept his eyes over the grounds one last time. He rejoiced in the fact that the storm had passed, the thunderstorm now since long forgotten.

After he'd walked inside he sat down on the chair by the desk to the left of the door. He hunched over the map he had worked on for the majority of the day. He added a leaf to one of the trees before he leaned back on the chair and held the map out in front of him.

It was done.

He smiled at his masterpiece, feeling quite proud of himself. He knew that the others had helped making it, but most of it was still his work.

He placed it back down on the desk, fingers swiping over the many pictures and names on it. They had managed to fit _everything_ on the wide piece of paper. There was the main building, the lake, all ten cabins, the forest and the electricity fence with the path leading outside marked out as well.

Remus reached for a pen that he let hover in the air above the map. What should he call it? And should he just write his name on it?

He glanced over his shoulder to get a glimpse of his friends. Shouldn't they sign it as well?

He turned his eyes to Sirius when he saw him walk up to him, and then sitting down on the chair next to him.

"Is it done?" Sirius asked, hand reaching out to trace his fingers over cabin 7.

Remus told him yes to which Sirius nodded and voiced an 'awesome'. Remus watched as Sirius called James and Peter over his shoulder, the both of them immediately walking over, positioning themselves behind Remus and Sirius', eyes finding the map.

"Cool." Peter spoke, voice in awe.

"Brilliant!" James exclaimed before he ruffled Remus' and Sirius' hair at the same time, earning him annoyed grunts.

"It needs a name." Remus stated, frowning at the map in front of him. "And we should probably sign it too." He added.

"Yeah, any ideas for a name?" Sirius asked the others.

"Why don't we sign it with our code-names?" James sounded excited. He got a set of agreeing cheers in response, making him feel proud.

"We could call it, ehm, 'The Map of the Troublemakers'." James suggested, but it was turned down immediately.

"How about 'The Brilliant Map'?" Peter's suggestion was turned down within a second.

"'The Magnificent Map'?" Remus proposed, but it was turned down as well.

They went along with that for a while, suggesting the most odd name after the other. When the proposals turned into a mixture of dirty words Remus was ready to give up. But then Sirius said something that gained the attention of the others.

"How about 'The Marauder's Map'?" Sirius asked, voice low and serious.

The cabin went silent for a while, the four of them considering the idea, gave it time to sit.

"I like it." Remus told him.

"Me too." Peter agreed.

"It's brilliant!" James sent a playful punch to Sirius' shoulder. "But why 'marauder'?

Sirius gathered his thoughts for a while, hand coming up to rub his chin.

"I don't know. It's just a word I saw a while ago. I think a marauder is someone who creates a ruckus and takes and does what he wants or something. Thought it would be fitting considering that we play pranks and stuff." Sirius shrugged.

Remus, James and Peter all grinned at Sirius terrific proposal. They spent the following ten minutes deciding on a fitting place to write the name of it. They decided to fold the map twice and then sign it on the backside.

Remus wrote with his hand tilted: _The Marauder's Map_ , and then lowered his hand to sign under it. Then he let Peter sign, after him Sirius and lastly James. When they were done Remus gave the map a look over and added _'Property of'_ in between the name of the map and their signed names.

And just for good emphasis he added a date as well.

Remus felt happy as his eyes swept over the map. He read the text again, not getting enough of how cool it looked.

_The Marauder's Map_

_Property of_

_Moony, Wormtail, Padfoot & Prongs_

_24.07.1971_

Smiling, Remus lowered the map down on the desk. He heard approving cheers coming from his friends and it was with a content sigh that Remus rose up from his seat to get ready for the night.

The map was done.


	10. Last Week

Remus relished in the wonderful last days of July.

He loved the warm sun, the cool breeze from the wind and the many adventures him and his marauder friends went on.

They played pranks on the other campers; they smeared glue on their seats or hid their shoes when they swam in the lake. They climbed over the fence to play for hours on the other side. They made sandcastles, read each other stories and watched the sunset.

Remus didn't want it to end.

This had been the best summer of his life. For the first time he hadn't felt alone. He had spent time with others that included him and actually thought he was brilliant.

Remus had even found himself taking a dip in the lake once, although with shorts and a long sleeved shirt. He had played Marco polo with Sirius who had won. But Sirius often won when they played games just the two of them. Remus didn't mind though; he was too happy about the fact that Sirius even wanted to spend time with him.

Remus was still in somewhat of a denial over the fact that he had friends. It was hard for his brain to adjust to the information, and somehow he got a feeling that it would be worse when he returned home. He didn't want to go home. He wanted to stay at Slughorn's camp for the rest of his life together with Sirius, James and Peter.

It didn't even matter if there would be other boys staying at the camp as well. It wouldn't matter if Malfoy, Snape or Rosier lingered either; they hadn't dared laying a hand on Remus since he started hanging out with Sirius, James and Peter. Remus was happy about the fact that for the first time in his life he didn't need to feel the constant fear of bullies.

He thought it was odd how he ever could've felt homesick before now that it was the other way around. He hadn't given his parents, or home for that matter, a single thought for the past couple of weeks. He hadn't thought of them because every time he did it hurt. His chest constricted painfully, making him clutch at it, face contorting into a grimace.

Remus knew that when he went home he would be left alone again. He would spend the rest of the summer locked inside his room reading, or walking by himself outside. When school started he would be chased by bullies, would need to climb trees to escape them or to skip lessons, pretending he's sick so that he could stay at home.

Remus felt his heart clench as the panic threatened to devour him. He desperately didn't want to return home.

Looking up from the page he'd stared at for the past hour or so he saw Sirius stand by the window, arms crossed, teeth biting on his lower lip as his eyebrows furrowed in thought. Remus guessed that Sirius was reluctant to return home as well. He had gotten more irritated as the days slowly drifted to the 31st. Remus also thought he could spot the haunted look in Sirius' eyes more often.

Remus watched as Sirius lifted his hand to bite at his nails, but then quickly dropped his hand, looking almost as if someone had scolded him. Remus frowned. There was something about Sirius, no- something about Sirius' home that wasn't _right_. Remus knew it. And the memory of the scars he'd seen on Sirius' lower back didn't help his suspicion.

When Peter yawning made his way out from the bathroom Remus turned his attention to him. He noted that Peter acted as normal, and switching his eyes to James who read a magazine on Peter's bed Remus saw that James acted normal as well.

It was just Remus and Sirius then. Only Remus and Sirius that desperately didn't want to return home for reasons that could be as similar or different as day and night.

"You want to get going soon?" Peter yawned again, eyes drifting to James who lowered the magazine to the nightstand table.

"Sure mate, just got to visit the loo." James jumped off from the bed, his mood bright, eyes glistening. Remus wondered why he looked so happy, wondered why he didn't feel the lingering ache in his chest as well. But then he remembered that Slughorn had invited the girls from McGonagall's camp over for one last evening by the bonfire. James was eager to see Lily.

Remus rolled his eyes but still got up from his bed to get ready. Sure, he liked the comfortable evenings by the bonfire as well but he could do without the smell of smoke that stayed on his clothes for days afterwards.

Twenty minutes later the four of them left their cabin and headed for the bonfire by the lake. Remus saw that the girls had arrived early, but tensed when he saw that their usual spots were taken. He wondered where they were supposed to sit now, but then James steered them to a spot across from their usual one.

Remus sighed when James positioned them in front of Lily. Of course.

"Hi Lils." James dug his hands in his trouser pockets and actually looked shy. Remus raised his eyebrows at the scene. James was always so cocky; he had never thought James even had the capability of looking shy.

"What do you want, _Potter_?" Lily glared at him. Remus got the feeling she didn't like him very much.

"Why, I just wanted to say hi to the prettiest girl on the earth, that's all." James flashed her a confident grin which only made her look more irritated.

"What do you want?" She repeated, her horse-faced friend now joining in with the glaring. Remus thought James would do best in leaving them alone.

"Is there a problem?"

Remus startled at the low voice. Turning around he came face to face with Albus Dumbledore, who wore his usual half-moon shaped classes over his slightly crooked nose. Remus saw that he was smiling and he involuntarily smiled back.

"No sir." Remus told him at the same time he nudged James' side, making him turn around to face Dumbledore as well.

"Are you bothering these ladies?" Dumbledore asked James, his eyes twinkling mysteriously. Remus suddenly remembered their suspicion about Dumbledore being a magician, and standing this up close to the man didn't help the matter.

"No sir. I simply told Miss Lily that she is the prettiest girl earth." James grinned.

Dumbledore smacked with his tongue. "I believe you, I honestly do, but why don't you leave these young ladies alone for now?" He looked James in the eyes and blinked at him.

James nodded, sighed and made to start walking away, but stopped and he jerked his head to look at Dumbledore again.

"Sir!" James gained Dumbledore's attention again. "Are you- ehm, are you perhaps a... a _wizard_?" He blurted out, making some of the girls around them giggle at him, probably thinking he was ridiculous.

Remus, James, Sirius and Peter however did not laugh. They all watched as Dumbledore's lips quirked into a mysterious smile, his left eye blinking at them before he turned around and slowly walked away, leaving them staring after his retreating figure.

What was that?

"It's true..." James whispered.

Remus didn't know what to answer. He didn't even know what Dumbledore had meant by his wink, or why he had smiled at them mysteriously.

The mystery of Dumbledore was the subject of their conversation for the next hour. They found four seats next to the Prewett twins and their sister where they sat down.

When their conversation about Dumbledore ended Remus spoke with the Prewett sister and got to know that her name was Molly. He liked her a lot, and even though she was older than him she didn't treat him like a child. He thought she was nice and pretty and thought that if he had a sister he would have liked her to be like Molly.

''''''''''

"Are you in?" James asked Remus, eager to start the game.

It was late. Most of the campers had already left for their cabins but here Remus found himself in front of the cleaning cupboard that stood next to the main building. All around him were other boys and girls, all eager to play the game of '7 minutes in heaven'.

Remus grimaced. He had never played the game before and he didn't like the sound of it. The mere thought of being locked inside a cupboard left him feeling ill as it brought back many horrible memories from his childhood where bullies had locked him up.

But even though he was reluctant Remus found himself nodding to James, making him grin back at him. James turned his attention back to the small group to present the rules.

James brought an empty bottle from somewhere in the cupboard before he went on with the rules. " Me, or someone else, we can go in a circle, are to spin the bottle twice. That way they'll choose two people that are to walk into the cupboard. But instead of seven minutes inside we'll go with one." James used the bottle to motion for the cupboard.

"What the two chosen have to do will be decided by a third person, also chosen by the bottle. It can be everything from a hug, a kiss, or more..." James wriggled his eyebrows. Remus stared at him incredulously. As if James would have any knowledge about 'or more'! He was _eleven_ for god's sake!

But then he narrowed his eyes at James. Perhaps he'd already gotten some action after all…

"I you refuse to do what you're told you'll drop out of the game and have to eat grass." James chuckled and Remus and Sirius joined in as well. The others stayed silent as they didn't understand their grass eater joke about Prongs.

When James stopped chuckling he continued. "You win if you don't lose. Sorry, but I don't have a prize." James shrugged, not looking sorry. "Any questions?"

Remus didn't like the sound of the game, nor the rules. Who made up a game whose sole purpose was to lure people into kissing one another? Remus didn't understand but figured he might do as he got older.

When everyone stayed silent James motioned for them to sit down on the ground in a small circle. James made them all present themselves and Remus memorized the names and ages of everyone present.

He swept his eyes over everyone in the group and rabbled in his head: Frank 12, Alice 12, Sirius 11, Rebecka 11, Peter 11, Mary 11, Marlene 11, James 11, and then himself, Remus 11.

James placed the bottle in the middle and then spun it three times. It landed on Alice, Frank and Sirius. Remus watched as Alice and Frank rose up and then walked into the extremely small cupboard. Suddenly Remus was glad they were all so young; they wouldn't fit otherwise.

When they were inside he heard Sirius shout "Kiss!" before he slammed his hand over his mouth to cover his chuckles.

James vibrated from suppressed laughter as well when he heard Frank answer with a muffled "Okay!"

Remus was supposed to keep track of the time so he kept his eyes on his arm watch, getting ready to call out when it'd been one minute. When he did they all watched as a blushing Alice and Frank retreated from the cupboard. James whistled at them, looking proud of himself.

Remus sighed. He could be reading his book now. He had absolutely _no_ interest in either hugging or kissing a girl. He simply stayed because his friends did.

The game went on, Remus keeping track of the time. He watched as James walked inside the cupboard to hug Marlene, Peter to kiss Rebecka, Mary to give Alice a massage, Sirius to hug Rebecka, James to brush Sirius' hair, Marlene to kiss James on the cheek and then as Alice walked inside to hug Frank.

Remus thought he had fate on his side. The bottle hadn't pointed at him once.

But then he thought it might have something to do with the fact that he had positioned himself as far back between James and Frank as possible, resulting in the bottle pointing at either one of them every time. It was only a couple of centimeters between them where the bottle would be able to point at Remus.

He felt proud of himself. He had outsmarted the game.

He watched how Mary spinned the bottle, making it point at Sirius. She spinned it again, and Remus felt his heart skip a beat when it pointed at _him_.

With wide eyes he looked over at James, hoping he would be able to talk him into thinking it had pointed at him, but he found James smile at him smugly.

Damn.

Remus turned his eyes back to the bottle as Mary spinned it a third time, making it point at James. Oh no. Remus did not like the feeling of this. James smirked at him, motioning for him to get up already, and Remus tried to swallow down his nervousness as he rose up, but failed. He didn't like the feeling of having eight pair of eyes on him. He didn't like the fact that he would be locked in a cupboard for one whole minute.

But when he saw Sirius step inside the small cupboard in front of him he felt himself relax a bit. He liked Sirius so perhaps it wouldn't be as horrible as he'd initially thought. At least he wasn't being locked inside to be left alone.

When Remus had stepped inside the cupboard he thought it felt even smaller on the inside. He stood face to face with Sirius with their noses almost touching, ad for some reason Remus blushed.

He frowned at his own strange reaction to Sirius' close proximity. Why did he feel so embarrassed? Sirius was his best friend after all.

They both startled as they heard the door being locked from the outside. Remus strained his ears, listened for James' voice as he was supposed to tell them what to do.

"Kiss! For thirty seconds!"

Remus' jaw hit the floor, his eyes widening in shock. What was he saying?

"W-what?" Sirius blurted, head jerking to the closed door.

"You heard me!" James voice came suspiciously close to the door; Remus suspected he had his ear pressed to it. When Sirius aimed a light punch to the door and James shrieked Remus got his suspicion confirmed.

"Time is ticking!" James sang. "Are you a _chicken_?"

"No, you're a chicken!" Sirius shouted at the door, sounding frustrated. James seemed to have hit a nerve.

Remus thought he could make out James' retreating chuckles while he watched Sirius try to control his breathing. Sirius easily got riled up.

Remus reached out a hand to pat Sirius' shoulder reassuringly.

"It's okay. He's only teasing you." He spoke softly. He smiled when he felt Sirius relax under his hand.

"I know..." Sirius trailed off.

Remus dropped his hand to hang by his side. They looked each other in the eyes for a moment but then Sirius swallowed and his gaze flickered to the ground.

"We have to, ehm…" He mumbled to his shoes. Remus felt his cheeks heat up again.

"To kiss?" Remus didn't know why, but suddenly the word made him feel excited, if not a bit nauseous. He had never received a kiss before. He had wondered what the fuss was about, but never even felt the need to kiss anyone before. But now he suddenly felt interest stir in his chest.

"Mhm," Sirius mumbled as he quickly flicked his gaze back to lock with Remus'. Remus' eyes widened when he felt Sirius' place a hand on each of his shoulders as he slowly leaned forward. When Remus saw Sirius close his eyes he realized that he was supposed to do the same.

He felt Sirius lips swiftly brush against his own, making Remus' heart jump at the contact, before they pressed onto them more firmly. Remus' felt his heart rate speed up and something in his stomach flutter at the contact. It felt strange, but not unwelcome.

He tentatively pressed his lips back against Sirius', the action surprising him with the small tinglings that spread through his limbs.

He wondered if this was how it always felt when people kissed or if it had something to do with the fact that it was Sirius. Then he wondered if it felt different to kiss a girl from kissing a boy.

Remus stopped thinking when he felt Sirius slide one of his arms down his back, and Remus didn't know what it was, but he felt a small explosion of some kind in his stomach.

He felt Sirius tilt his head more to the side, making their lips press even tighter together. And even though Remus felt his cheeks heat again he quite liked the feeling. He was just about to lift his own hand to swipe over Sirius' back when he felt Sirius break the kiss. Confused, Remus opened his eyes to stare at Sirius incredulously.

"It' been thirty seconds." Sirius panted as he wiped his lips one his sleeve.

Remus didn't understand _why_ but he felt disappointed, and a bit offended by the fact that Sirius wiped his mouth so quickly. And Sirius didn't look him in the eyes either.

Frowning, Remus mumbled an answer before he wiped his mouth on his sleeve as well. Then he started to wonder why he still felt excited. He glanced over at Sirius but quickly looked away when he found him staring at him. Remus heart skipped a beat, making him frown again. That was odd. Why did his body act so funny all of a sudden?

His attention was turned to the door when he heard the lock clatter against it. He saw Sirius quickly reach out a hand, slamming the door open. Remus thought he heard a shriek, and then he saw James stumble to the ground in front of them. Had he been eavesdropping?

"Did you do it? Kiss for thirty seconds?" James asked curiously.

Sirius aimed Remus a quick glance but then turned his eyes back to the ground before he walked to his spot in the circle and sat down. "Yeah… on the cheek."

Remus' gaped at Sirius. He was lying! To _James_! Why?

"Really? Okay..." James eyed Sirius in disbelief. Remus did the same.

Remus didn't understand why Sirius had lied about their kiss, but then he dropped the subject. Perhaps Sirius thought it was awkward that he had kissed Remus. Perhaps he hadn't liked it.

For some reason that thought made Remus feel incredibly sad.

He quickly put that thought at the very far back of his mind where he left it to haunt him for another time. Instead of thinking about it Remus sat down on his spot next to James and watched as the game went on.

The bottle didn't point at him any more times during the game.

''''''''''

A looming sadness clouded the camp. It was Friday; the day before they were heading home and Remus walked around with a growing lump in his throat. He didn't want to leave.

He played with his food while he let his mind wander during his last dinner with his friends in the dining hall. The next day he would only get to spend breakfast with them before they all headed home.

Remus sighed. The last time he'd seen his parents they had promised to come get him as soon as possible. That had been what he had wanted back then, but now he scolded himself for telling his parents to retrieve him as early as nine in the morning. James, Sirius and Peter weren't leaving until sometime after lunch.

Remus lifted his head to look over at Sirius. He played with his food as well; it didn't look like he'd even tasted it. Remus sympathized with him. He understood what it felt like to dread something.

Their table had been silent for over twenty minutes now, like so many of the other tables in the dining hall. Remus guessed there were more boys that were reluctant to leave.

Remus swiftly let his eyes wander to Sirius' lips before he lowered them back to stare at his plate again.

Sirius hadn't mentioned the kiss they'd shared in the cupboard the other day. Remus didn't know whether to feel relieved or disappointed. He didn't even know why he cared msince it probably didn't mean anything. But still.

He looked to the side to gaze at James who munched on his kidney pie like any other day. Remus wondered why James had told them to kiss in the first place. He couldn't have intended to make fun of them, could he? But he hadn't even mentioned it once afterwards…

Remus shook his head. He had more severe things to worry about; like the fact that he was leaving the camp in less than 14 hours. And he had no idea if he would ever be able to come back.

''''''''''

"Here, you next." Sirius voice was low and serious as he handed the knife over to Remus who nodded as he took it and held it with a firm grip.

Carefully, Remus placed the tip of the knife against the old wood of their cabin door and started carving the M, then an O next to it. Soon he had carved out 'Moony' in capital letters next to Sirius' carved 'Padfoot'.

Remus swiped his index finger over the letters, felt splinters threaten to stick to his skin. When he was happy with how it looked he handed the knife over to James who started carving his name, and when Peter was done carving his name the four of them took a step back to admire their work.

"Awesome!" James exclaimed in awe.

Remus would have enjoyed the view more if it wasn't for the aching pain he felt in his chest. So it was with a sad smile that he nodded, agreeing with James' exclamation.

Prongs & Wormtail was carved on the left side on the door, Padfoot & Moony on the right side. It was supposed to mimic their sleeping arrangements since they shared two double beds with each other.

A chill breeze hit then and they decided to head back inside. Remus wanted to spend as much time as possible with his friends this last evening at the camp.

'''''''''

Remus desperately tried to muffle his sobs as he cried into the soft fur of Teddy.

Both of his pillows, his sleeve and Teddy's right ear was now wet from his tears that just wouldn't stop pouring. He'd started crying almost as soon as he lied down in bed for the night, and he couldn't stop crying now that he'd started. He was too sad. He didn't want to go home tomorrow.

This summer had felt like a dream.

Here he wasn't constantly bullied. Here he had friends that liked him and protected him. He had spent his days laughing, planning pranks and playing games with the others. They had told each other stories, climbed over the fence and created a map. Remus had lived in a dreamful bliss, lost in its wonderful embrace for weeks.

But now reality threatened to overwhelm him.

He didn't want the uncomfortable pain in his chest to come back now that he had gotten used to the warm feeling of friendship instead. He didn't want it all to go back to how it was before. To how it was before the camp.

What hurt the most was the guilt Remus felt over the fact that he hadn't told the others he might not be able to come back. James, Sirius and Peter had all told him that they planned on coming back every summer until they got too old but Remus didn't know if he could come back even once. It was too expensive.

He knew that James and Sirius probably came from wealthy families, and Peter probably had it well off as well. But Remus knew that his parents had saved money for years for this summer.

Sure, most of it had probably gone to their trip to France, but they must have spent a great deal of money on Remus' entrance fee for the camp as well. It might be years until they manage to save up enough money to send Remus back.

He felt a powerful sob shake him, and he hugged Teddy tighter to his chest. He didn't want to think of those things anymore. He wanted to stay here.

_Creak_

Remus quickly snapped his head from side to side. What was that sound just then? But when he heard it coming from the end of the bed he realize it must be Sirius' ladder.

Soon he saw a figure that looked a lot like Sirius step onto the floor and then swiftly make its way over to where Remus lay, still clutching Teddy.

"Scoot over." Sirius mumbled. Remus did as he was told. He placed Teddy behind his back at the same time lifted his cover to allow Sirius entrance. He felt a small smile tug at his lips when Sirius lied down next to him and pulled the covers up to their chins.

"Can't sleep?" Remus croaked, voice hoarse from his extensive sopping. His eyes widened when he realized it gave him away. He didn't want Sirius to know he'd just been crying.

"No. You can't either?" Sirius mumbled. He brought out an arm from the covers and reached for Remus' chin. Remus felt Sirius wipe away tears from his cheeks with his thumb and felt some of the pain in his chest being replaced by the much welcomed warmth.

"Me neither." Remus whispered. Then he frowned. "Because of tomorrow..." He felt a sob escape him, cutting his sentence short.

Sirius lowered his hand from Remus' cheek.

"Come here." Sirius mumbled as Remus felt a set of arms drape around him, wrapping him in a warm hug. Remus smiled as he lifted his own arms to hug Sirius back. He placed his head in the juncture between Sirius' shoulder and neck and breathed in.

He would really miss Sirius.

Remus felt his sobs fade as he relaxed into the hug. He hugged Sirius tighter and felt him do the same. Remus thought that if he held on to Sirius long enough he might not have to leave, so he desperately clung on to him like his life depended on it.

He didn't know what it was but when he lay there hugging Sirius he felt something dawn on him. One way or another he felt like they were the same. Sure, they looked like each other's contrasts and their families were as different as day and night, but even thought they were different he thought they were the same. He didn't know what it was but if felt like they were two pieces from the same puzzle or something.

Remus smiled when he thought of him being the same as someone else; when he thought of the fact that he hugged someone that wanted to hug him back as fiercely.

It was with the lingering smile that he finally fell asleep.

''''''''''

Remus reluctantly dragged his duffle bag over the damp grass on his way to the main building. His friends walked in front of him, looking as gloomy and sad as Remus felt inside.

Sirius was dressed in a set of fancy, uncomfortable, clothes made from thick expensive materials and next to him James wore something similar. Peter looked the same as always except for the extensive tan he'd got from dozing off in the sun so many times.

Sirius looked stiff from where he held the door open for his friends. Remus also thought Sirius had got that haunted look back in his eyes. Remus didn't like it. He wanted the carefree, cocky and playful Sirius back. Not the one who startled out of fear from every sound.

Remus threw his duffle bag on the floor next to him as he sat down in his usual chair in the dining hall. Sirius sat down next to him while James and Peter went for the loo. Remus made to stand up to get a plate of food he could play with when he felt Sirius grip his arm.

Remus turned his attention to Sirius and startled when he saw the extensive worry in Sirius' eyes. He'd never seen Sirius look that desperate.

"Why- why don't we exchange addresses?" Sirius pleaded. Remus' eyes widened before he understood what he was asking and smiled. Of course, how could he have forgotten about that? They could send letters to each other!

Remus gave Sirius his address and in return he got to know that Sirius lived in a place called Grimmauld Place 12. Remus frowned when he received it. He didn't like the sound of it; it sounded creepy, but perhaps that fit Sirius' family which sounded horrible as well. Remus just thought it was sad Sirius had to stay there.

They just had time to promise each other to write every week until they meet again when James and Peter arrived at their table.

Remus received a playful smile from Sirius before he motioned for them to go get some food from the serving tables.

As the four of them made their way through the dining hall Remus tried to live in the moment. He would enjoy this last hour with his best friends. Later he could cry, in the backseat of their car.

He shook his head and forced himself to smile at James who gave him a funny look.

He would enjoy this last hour of the summer.

This last hour of the best summer of his life.


	11. Return

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you like this chapter!
> 
> I'm changing the rating to [M] Mature now, just so you know.

**_Summer of 1973_ **

"Do you have everything sweetheart?" His mother asked as the car pulled down to a stop.

"Yes mom. You've asked that five times already." Remus voiced over his shoulder as he flew the car door open, hurriedly stumbling outside, his knees weak from the excitement.

As soon as he was outside he walked over to the tailgate to retrieve his trunk. It had been his father's, thus the initials L.Lupin at the front, but Remus didn't mind. The last name was the same anyway.

When he'd retrieved his trunk he made to walk over to the main building, but found himself stop as a sturdy hand gripped his arm.

"Aren't you forgetting something?" His father asked him, voice determined but warm. Remus huffed. He was so eager to get back to the camp that he'd forgotten to wave his parents goodbye.

"Bye Father, bye Mother." He told them as he hugged them both quickly. After receiving approving nods, kind smiles and a hair ruffle from his dad Remus finally found himself turning around on the spot, heading for the main building.

He heard his mother shout a "Behave!" after him but he didn't look back. Instead his eyes traced the outlines of the great stone building in front of him. He wasn't sure but it felt smaller than it had two years ago. The doors leading inside weren't as tall, and the parking lot wasn't as wide. Then he realized that he'd grown as he got older, thus making the surroundings seems smaller. Vaguely Remus wondered how small it all looked to Dumbledore who was probably the oldest one here.

When he made his way over to the que leading to Slughorn's reception desk for check in Remus started fidgeting with his sleeves. He was really nervous. It had been two whole years since he last saw his best friends, or at least he hoped they were still best friends. He hoped they were still friends at all.

Remus had begged and begged but his parents had refused to send him to the camp last summer, blaming their narrow budget. But since Remus helped his father in the store he'd gained some money of his own and then helped paying for the entrance fee this year.

Remus had spent the first year like the earlier years of his life; alone and bullied by everyone at school. But then a kind girl had moved to his village with her family, and Remus had been surprised when Lily from McGonagall's camp had walked into his classroom one day. Though, he was glad she did.

Remus had hung around Lily the past year and was immensely happy to finally have a friend in school. She was not only kind, but determined as well. Her strong will allowed her to protect Remus from bullies, making him feel safe at school for once. And even though he knew he should feel his pride get hurt from the fact that he let himself be protected by a girl he didn't. In fact he was thankful for her friendship. He just hoped she wouldn't realize what a loser he is one day and leave him to get bullied again.

Remus frowned as he thought back to the summer two years ago, of when he'd gotten home and quickly brought paper and pens to write his first letter. He'd written letters to Sirius for a week, and got a couple back. He'd felt happy and had joyfully sent Sirius letters sometimes twice a day. But when Sirius stopped answering he'd stopped.

Remus had sent one last letter by the end of the summer where he apologized for taking up so much of Sirius' time. He'd thought Sirius finally had gotten tired of him when he stopped answering, but then he received a letter from Grimmauld Place 12, but it wasn't signed by Sirius. It was signed by 'Regulus'.

Remus had felt confused. Sirius had never told him about the fact he'd got a brother.

However, this Regulus had told Remus that Sirius wasn't receiving his letters. Apparently 'Walburga' read through the post that reached the house and had taken a habit of burning Sirius' letters as a form of punishment when he'd misbehaved.

Remus had startled when he read the name Walburga. It was the name Malfoy had threatened Sirius with once, making him get that haunted look in his eyes. Remus didn't like this Walburga person very much, especially not since they apparently burned Remus' letters to Sirius.

After Regulus had advised Remus to stop sending Sirius letter he'd complied. Instead he'd saved the letters he'd planned to send to Sirius in his drawer. He didn't stop writing, but he kept them for himself.

"Lupin, welcome back!" Slughorn bellowed as Remus reached the desk.

"Thank you sir." Remus replied with a nod. He tried to scold his expression to look normal, but it was difficult when his eyes darted to the faces of the boys and parents around him, trying to locate any of his friends. He desperately hoped that they had been honest when they'd told him they planned on coming back to the camp every summer. It would be ironic if Remus was the only one here now that he'd finally managed to make his way back.

"You'll stay in cabin 7." Slughorn nodded to himself before he reached for a folder where he scribbled something. When he was done he told Remus he was checked in and free to leave.

With his heart pounding out of his chest Remus made his way through the corridor, out the door and then started dragging his trunk after him over the grounds at a rapid pace. He could see the ten cabins ahead of him.

Remus' mouth formed onto an 'o' when he saw _Sirius_ walk past him. He raised his free hand and was just going to greet him when he lowered his hand back to his side again. It wasn't Sirius. It was someone else.

Remus narrowed his eyes at the boy. He had Sirius' dark hair, cheekbones and other facial features. He looked almost like Sirius' clone, but when Remus saw the boy look over his shoulder to glare at him he quickly flicked his gaze to stare at the ground. It definitely wasn't Sirius.

The mysterious boy and Sirius shared the same eye color but Sirius' eyes were warmer; not cold like the boy's in front of Remus. Then it dawned on him.

 _Regulus_.

Remus looked up again to greet the boy to tell him that he was the Remus that had sent Sirius letters, but the boy was already gone. Frowning, Remus turned his head from side to side searching for him. When he turned his attention back to the cabins he saw the boy walk into cabin 9.

Remus suddenly realized that if Regulus was here, if Sirius' brother was here, then he had to be here as well, right?

With new force he rushed the last meters to cabin 7. He walked up the small stair, placed his hand on the door handle and then took a deep breath as he steadied his racing heart. He closed and opened his eyes once.

Then he opened the door.

He felt something nearly explode in his chest as his eyes met the scene in front of him.

He saw Sirius sit next to Peter on the sofa, seemingly playing some sort of card game. In front of them sat James cross-legged on the floor, fiddling with his hair. Remus let out a happy sigh of relief when he saw them. They were here.

"Moony!" Sirius exclaimed as he jumped up from the couch and ran over to Remus before he captured him in a tight hug. Remus hugged him back and found himself start laughing when Sirius lifted him up to swing him in a circle.

"Put me down Sirius" Remus laughed as he swatted his hands over Sirius' back. Though, if he was being honest he quite liked the sensation of being hugged and swung around in the air.

"Remus!" Peter piped as he'd made his way over to envelope Remus in a quick hug.

"What's up Moony?" James laughed as he grabbed Remus' hand and made him low five him before he ruffled Remus' hair and pulled him in for a hug.

"I, I mean, we are so happy you're back." Sirius huffed as he draped an arm over Remus' shoulders. Remus swept his own arm around Sirius' waist but dropped it when he felt his face heat up at the contact.

Frowning, he turned his attention to the floor. Why did he blush all of a sudden?

"Yeah, we had to share the cabin with this Creevey kid last summer. It was not nice." James exclaimed as he flew himself down on the couch.

"He babbled all the time and tried to steal my candy." Peter muttered. Remus thought that people that made any attempts at Peter's candy got to his bad side.

"Did he sleep in my bed?" Remus asked, eyes finding his bed that looked smaller than it had two summers ago.

"Sadly." Sirius exclaimed, steering him and Remus towards it. They sat down on it, Sirius' arm never leaving Remus' shoulders.

"I've missed you." Remus blurted out, his eyes widened when he thought he might have said too much. What if James, Sirius and Peter hadn't missed him as much back?

"Yeah, we missed you too." Sirius told him, making him relax again.

"It's a shame you couldn't come last summer. It wasn't the same without you." James cut in, Peter agreeing with him.

Remus felt his self-confidence grow when he thought about the fact that they had missed him. They hadn't just forgotten about him like he'd feared. They were still friends.

"Sorry I stopped sending you letters." Sirius said sincerely, making Remus glance up at him. He saw a sadness linger in Sirius' eyes and he knew Sirius felt guilty.

"It's alright." He reassured, watching as the sadness changed into something happier in Sirius' eyes. "Regulus told me about it." Remus added.

Sirius frowned. " _Regulus_?"

"Yeah, he sent me a letter where he told me you weren't receiving my letters." Remus sighed. "I think I saw him walking into cabin 9 on my way over here."

"That little shit..." Sirius mumbled under his breath, but Remus heard him and frowned at him.

"Excuse me?"

Sirius shook his head, eyebrows furrowed in anger. "That little devil was the one that told Walburga about the letters in the first place. He was probably jealous about the fact no one sent any letters to him so he made sure I stopped receiving any as well. And he's only here to keep an eye on me. He hates summer camps." Sirius grunted.

Remus got the feeling that Sirius didn't like his brother very much. And whoever this Walburga was they didn't seem nice either.

"That sucks." James filled in from his spot on the couch, making Remus remember that James and Peter were still in the room.

"Yeah, but at least I don't have to share a cabin with him. I get to share it with you guys." Sirius returned to his usual self as the frustration he felt for his family was tucked away in the back of his mind.

Remus absentmindedly lifted a hand and placed it on Sirius' knee to pat it reassuringly, but quickly snapped it back when he felt his cheeks heat again. God, what was with him today? Why did he blush as soon as he touched Sirius?

Remus shook his head, and then turned his head to look at Peter. He saw that he'd grown some since they'd last seen each other. Peter was still the shortest out of them, and the chubbiest, but he had grown, his hair turning a shade darker as well.

Remus looked over at James next. He definitely looked more mature. His jaw had gotten more defined, and his face longer and body lankier. Remus guessed that he'd grown the most out of them. Though, his bird's nest of a hair still looked the same.

Turning his head slightly to the side Remus glanced up at Sirius. He thought his jaw had gotten more defined just like James', and he had grown several centimeters since they last saw each other. But the most prominent change was the hair. It now reached Sirius past his shoulders, draping over them smoothly as it fell over his neck onto his back. Remus had never thought he'd think a boy could look so good in long hair before but Sirius looked better than most of the girls he'd seen in long hair.

Remus' eyes widened when he realized what he'd just thought. He quickly turned his eyes to stare at his lap. He felt a mixture between confused and excited, but he didn't understand why. The excitement he'd thought would ease when he finally saw his friends again still lingered, and for some reason his stomach felt funny.

He fidgeted with his sleeves as his stomach constricted nervously. He didn't understand why his body felt so weird. It was almost as if he couldn't control it. Though, his worries were soon washed away as James demanded that they all caught up on lost time, and they all walked over to the middle of the room where they sat down cross-legged.

They told each other some of what they'd been up to. Mostly it was Peter who spoke about his annoying cousins that had stayed with him for three months last Christmas or James who told them about how he'd gotten a dog he named Fluffy.

Remus listened and voiced some oh's and ah's at the right places. Then he vaguely told them about how he'd gotten a friend at school, and when he told them it was Lily James had looked extremely jealous. Remus had shrugged at him and told him, honestly, that he didn't fancy her.

Sirius had told them something about going to a boarding school with his despised cousins and other relatives. Remus felt sorry for him. He hoped he at least had someone to hang out with over there, but when Sirius had told him he hung around the Prewett twins that apparently went there as well he had relaxed.

The four of them caught up on lost time for the rest of the day and after dinner they grabbed the map that James had brought with them before they went out to the forest where they climbed over the electricity fence to the other side of the forest. Then they played games with each other until it got dark.

'''''''''

By the end of the first week back at the camp Remus had lost himself in the spirit of summer. In the company of his friends he had played Marco polo by the lake, played tag on the other side of the fence and played pranks on half of the habitants of cabin 8. He had almost fallen over from suppressed laughter in the dining hall when he saw Snape and Rosier walk around with feathers stuck to their hair.

Remus had run in relays with Sirius during activity, and received praise from Hagrid that was glad to have him back at the camp again.

The days spent at the camp were so much fun that Remus found himself laughing or smiling as soon as he saw one of his friends. They made him feel like he belonged again, and he was forever thankful for that.

After an evening spent by telling each other stories and taking pictures with James' new polaroid camera Remus didn't feel the need to hug Teddy as he fell asleep. For the first time he felt secure enough by the mere fact that his three best mates slept in the same room as him.

It all seemed too good to be true. Remus sometimes wondered if he was stuck in a wonderful dream as he spent every day with his friends. But by Sunday evening something odd happened. And Remus felt himself fall back into confusion.

Remus flipped through the pages of the book he'd just finished reading from where he lied on top of his bed. He placed the book on his nightstand when he heard James suggest that they play a game of cards. Remus got up from his bed and walked over to James and Peter who sat on the couch by the window, and Remus was just going to sit down when he thought he might do with a visit to the loo, so he turned around and walked over to the bathroom door.

He opened the door and walked inside, but found himself stop abruptly as his eyes took in the scene in front of him.

Sirius stood in the shower, his side turned to Remus, allowing only some view of the faint scars on his lower back. Remus saw Sirius' dark hair cover parts of his face, his lean but pale body exposed from the lack of clothes. And Remus' eyes unintentionally darted to the faint, thin line of dark hair that trailed from Sirius' navel to...

Remus' eyes widened. In between Sirius' legs, glistening in the light from the lamp, Remus saw Sirius' member.

He stared, eyes widening impossibly more. He felt his heart beat speed up as his cheeks burned. He couldn't tear his eyes away. Absentmindedly, he licked his lips and watched as Sirius shifted, turning around so that both of his thighs were exposed as well.

Remus felt himself tentatively take a step closer, driven by an unknown urge to close the distance between them when suddenly he heard Sirius clear his throat.

"Remus...?" He asked.

Embarrassed, Remus flicked his eyes from Sirius' groin to look him in the eyes. When he saw Sirius struggle to push away wet strands of hair from his face Remus took his chance to flee.

"Sorry Padfoot, eh, I had to, ehm, had to use the... use the loo." He mumbled before he slipped out the door and quickly closed it behind him. He leaned his back against the door as he let out a breath he didn't know he'd been holding. He closed his eyes and sighed.

He made to walk over to the couch but stopped when he felt something weird. Frowning, he shifted from his right foot to his left. It felt odd... His trousers suddenly felt too small, like they were constricting him or something. And every move he made sent small sensations of pleasure through his limbs, making the hairs on his arms stand.

Confused, he opened his eyes and glanced down his body. He gasped when he saw the tenting bulge that was his crotch. God! He'd gotten an erection.

Remus quickly turned his back to James and Peter that still sat on the couch. He hurriedly made his way over to his bed, desperately trying not to whimper as his trousers rubbed against his erection with every step.

The walk was really only five meters or so, but it felt close to a hundred. When he finally reached his bed he quickly sat down on it. He looked around the bed, searching for something to cover his lap before anyone saw what he was doing, and when he decided a pillow would do he threw his main pillow over his lap.

When his little 'problem' was out of the way he sent a glare at the bathroom door. He got frustrated. Why hadn't Sirius locked the door? Did he want someone to walk in on him or something? But then Remus realized he was being silly. Sirius had probably only forgotten about the lock this one time. It wasn't his fault that Remus couldn't knock before he entered when one of the four friends wasn't present in the cabin.

"You don't want to play Moony?" Came Peter's muffled voice, his mouth filled with candy as usual.

"N-no," Remus cleared his throat. God, did he want them to be suspicious?

"No thanks, I changed my mind. I think I'll just finish reading this book instead." He motioned for the book that lay on his nightstand but quickly snapped his hand away when he realized he might draw attention to his lap.

"Isn't that the same book you just started reading last hour, though?" Peter asked with a small frown.

Damn.

Remus wasn't the best at making up quick excuses, and was even worse at making up lies. He searched his brain for some sort of explanation, for anything to make Peter turn his attention elsewhere.

"Yeah..." Remus stared at the window behind Peter, not wanting to meet his eyes. "But well, eh, you know me! I'm a fast reader and all; figured I might be able to finish it if I read for the rest of the evening." He shrugged, trying to seem nonchalant. He mentally high fived himself when he saw Peter shrug as well, finally turning his attention back to the card game with James.

"Why is there a pillow in your lap?" James asked suddenly.

Remus startled. He swallowed as he searched his brain for a fitting answer, but he couldn't think of anything except "I was cold." so he told James that while trying to make his voice sound trustworthy.

Daring a glance at James Remus saw him watch him, eyes analyzing as he smiled at him curiously.

"Okay..." James said after a while, turning his attention back to the game, making a relieved sigh escape Remus' lips.

Remus reached for the book before he placed himself on top of the bed, the position turning uncomfortable as he was left leaning his head on Teddy, his pillow occupied with the task of hiding his erection.

He hid a groan that threatened to escape him when he lowered down on the bed. He'd hoped his member would have returned to normal by now, especially after the odd and much awkward conversation with James and Peter, but no. It was as eager as ever from where it pulsated under the pillow, making Remus shift and turn, unable to relax.

He glared at the underside of the top bunk, mind trying to draw conclusions he failed to make. Sighing, he closed his eyes, eyebrows turning into a frown.

This had only happened a handful of times before, and then he'd gotten turned on from a dream that he'd forgotten about as soon as he woke up in the morning. He had never gotten a boner from watching another person before. And especially not from having a look at... at his friend's...

He felt his cheeks burn from embarrassment. He scolded himself for having even stolen a glimpse of Sirius' bits. Why was he so curious anyway? Why couldn't he just have turned around and left before Sirius noticed his presence?

Remus shook his head. He had no bloke-friends at school he could talk with, and the thought of discussing his man-parts with his father was frightening. No, he would have to rely on books for information, as he had done up till this day. But still, the sole information about male genitalia and how it worked did not answer Remus' many questions. He wondered how he was supposed to get rid of unwelcomed erections and if other teenage boys dealt with the same problem.

Remus draped an arm over his eyes as he waited for the initial embarrassment and panic to subside. When it did he started questioning himself, trying to draw answers from his body's odd reaction.

He wondered why he'd gotten all hot and bothered after a look at _Sirius_. Sirius was one of his three best mates, and this had never happened before. But then he let his mind wander back to the scene in the bathroom again and suddenly he found himself desperately trying to hide a moan as he pictured Sirius' wet body in the shower. He remembered he'd trailed the thin line of dark hairs leading from Sirius' navel. He remembered how hot Sirius had looked with strands of dark hair covering his face...

Wait!

Had he just thought of Sirius as hot? But he's a boy! He's my best friend! Remus thought fervently as he shifted on top of his bed. He felt confused, and that mixed with the pleasant feeling of being turned on was an odd mix that made Remus feel extremely weird.

There must be something wrong with my dick, he decided, glancing down at it, tongue smacking disapprovingly at it.

He jerked when he heard the bathroom door open, revealing a damp-haired Sirius. Remus quickly reached for the book and opened it, but panicked when he'd accidentally opened it upside down. He cleared his throat before he resolutely swept his index finger over the lines, pretending that he was engrossed in reading it.

In his peripheral vision Remus saw Sirius stop next to his bed, and out of the corner of his eyes Remus saw Sirius give him a funny look, making Remus scold himself again since Sirius probably thought it was odd that he'd used Teddy as his main pillow for the evening. Though, before Remus got time to try and explain himself he heard the ladder to Sirius' bed creak as he climbed up.

Remus sighed. He really liked Sirius, and he didn't want his confused dick to make it awkward between them. He felt really pathetic from where he tried to calm his racing heart. He tried talking himself into thinking this was only a once-in-a-life-time-accident. It wouldn't happen again.

That fake-reassurance made Remus smile at the pages of the book before he decided to actually read them. Perhaps he could finish the book before midnight and make a point to Peter.

''''''''''

It was several hours later when Remus finally dared leave his bed to sneak to the bathroom.

Safe inside he locked the door behind him and wiped his sweaty forehead on his sleeve before he yanked down his trousers and threw them on the floor.

He was _finally_ going to finish what Sirius had started.


	12. Realization

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Reminder: The fic is Mature now! Hope you like this chapter!
> 
> (Btw, I dreamed I was Remus Lupin and transformed into a werewolf last night. #trash)

"Sirius can you hand me the salt please?" Remus asked, hand reached out to receive the salt from Sirius' hand.

"Sure." Sirius voiced before he grabbed the salt and held out in front of him over the table.

Remus smiled at him thankfully, hand closing around the salt, but his smile turned into one of nervousness when he felt his fingers brush against Sirius'. He felt his cheeks heat up and something flutter in his stomach, making him self-conscious and he wondered if he should let go of the salt quickly to ease his panic or if he should wait for Sirius to let go first.

He flicked his eyes to Sirius and watched as Sirius' expression turned into a mix between confused and amused which somehow resulted with Remus blushing more.

Remus swallowed once before he muttered a "Thanks," to the table between them.

"No problem." Sirius responded, eyes boring into Remus, making his flush spread to his ears.

Remus was just going to drop the salt, or hand it back to Sirius when he felt Sirius finally ease his grip on it. With a sigh of relief Remus quickly snapped the salt over to his side of the table, and he resolutely stared at his plate when he salted his eggs, and he tried not to think about the fact that his fingers tingled at the places where it had touched Sirius.

Remus shook his head. His body was out of control. It had a will of its own; it didn't listen to what Remus told it to do anymore. At this rate he was happy if he could act normal around Sirius for more than ten seconds.

''''''''''

"Is everyone here? Al right, then we'll start. Today ya all will run in relays. One start here, another one by the cabins and the third and last one by the lake. The fist team to make it back get to finish early. Okay?" Hagrid bellowed, eyes kind and smile wide as he presented today's plan for the running activity class.

Remus realized that he was supposed to join a team and started looking around for any familiar faces he could team up with. He spotted Frank and they decided to be a team in the relay, but where was Sirius?

"Hi, Moony, Frank, I can join your team right?" Came Sirius self-confident voice from Remus' right, and turning his head to the side he saw Sirius stand next to him, grinning. Remus made to grin back at him but felt himself startle before he even had time to part his lips.

Absentmindedly he lowered his gaze to give Sirius a look over. When he saw that Sirius wore a pair of short shorts matched with a tank top Remus felt his eyes widen, and accidentally let slip a loud gulp, accidentally turning Sirius and Frank's eyes to him.

"Remus, are you alright?" He heard Sirius ask as his hand patted Remus' shoulder twice.

Remus heart thumped in his ears as he tore his eyes away from the sight of Sirius' bare legs in favor of looking Sirius in the eyes. But when he saw the  emotional grey orbs dance in the light of the sun wonderfully he dropped his gaze to stare at his feet again. It was too dangerous to even look at Sirius.

"Hello?" Sirius pryed, voice concerned. Remus felt the hand on his shoulder slowly swipe down his back, suddenly making his skin break out in gooseflesh. Remus hid a whimper. He shouldn't enjoy Sirius touch as much as he did. There was something wrong with him today.

"Yeah, yeah, I'm fine." Remus mumbled before he shook Sirius' arm off his back. He thought he saw Sirius send him a hurt look, and beside them saw Frank look between them, expression confused.

Remus shook his head.

"Should we decide the positions then?" He asked them and after he received approving nods they started with the planning and tactics of the relay.

''''''''''

Remus tucked himself in under his comfortable covers, ready to hit sleep. He turned to his side and searched around for Teddy along the mattress, and when he found him he proceeded to pat his soft fur. He wasn't as afraid of monsters under the bed anymore, or felt as alone, but it was still nice to share his bed with Teddy. He had been the closest to a friend for him for years after all.

Remus stretched his legs out, wriggled his toes before he curled into his usual sleeping position. His muscles ached and feet hurt. He was totally beat after the extreme game of tag he'd played with James, Sirius and Peter in the great forest for hours after dinner.

The game had turned into one where one person ran with the other three following, trying not to get caught. Eventually one or another would get tired, but the one that ran for the longest time won. The game had been silly and awfully last minute and Remus had known he'd get tired soon, but it had been fun. Though, he always thought it was fun to play with his friends.

When Remus thought back on the events of the day he saw James defeated fall to the ground while laughing like a mad man. He saw Peter run for ten meters before he gave up and found a tree to doze off against. Remus remembered the many fun moments of the day, but every time his mind wandered to Sirius he felt his heart jolt and a swirling sensation flutter in his stomach. He didn't know whether to laugh or cry at the strange feeling.

As he lay there in his bed with all thoughts eventually leading to Sirius, Remus wondered why his body felt so funny whenever he thought of, saw or touched Sirius. He wondered why he felt a strong urge to be near him when his presence made him feel all jittery inside.

Then realization dawned on him.

Perhaps, just perhaps, he _liked_ Sirius. Okay, no of course he liked Sirius. They had been best friends for two years already.

Remus swallowed before he let his mind wander some more. Perhaps I 'like like' Sirius, he thought.

Perhaps I _fancy_ him.

Remus closed his eyes as he wriggled around on the bed. The mere thought made him nervous.

He wasn't sure how it felt to fancy anyone since he'd never done so before. Though, he'd read hundreds of depictions of love in the many romance novels and fairytales he'd read. And letting his mind run some more the thought his symptoms matched the ones in the books.

With a pained frown he lined up the truth in his head; rapid heartbeat, feeling lightheaded, 'butterflies in the stomach', a lingering excitement, feeling alone when apart from the other, flushing when touching the other, finding it difficult to keep eye contact, etcetera.

Remus bit down on his lower lip nervously. He wasn't sure he fancied Sirius yet, it might just be a phase or his body might be confused or something, but he already thought the signs of liking someone he'd remembered from romance novels matched his situation alarmingly well.

Nervously, Remus asked himself if he wanted to kiss Sirius. But then he felt a small smile splay on his lips as he remembered that he'd already kissed Sirius once; back in 1971 during 7 minutes in heaven. He wondered how he would react if he was to kiss Sirius now. He felt his entire body heat up at the thought. He didn't know if he wanted to or not, but the thought made him feel embarrassingly excited.

He brought Teddy up to his chest to hug him tightly but this time he didn't feel his emotions fade; he still felt his heart pound loudly in his chest and felt his cheeks burn. Perhaps Teddy's comforting powers only worked when you were sad?

Remus startled when he heard the bed above him give a low creak. First he thought it was a ghost, but when he realized it was Sirius he relaxed. Though, as his brain remembered that it was _Sirius_ he felt his body get all excited again.

Grunting, Remus turned to lay on his back. He draped an arm over his eyes, covering them from the world.

He waited for his heart to calm down before he let his eyes drift shut as he fell asleep.

''''''''''

_Remus gasped when Sirius leaned in to capture his lips with his own. Remus felt a surge of electricity shoot through his body when their lips met, making him hum approvingly._

_He let slip a moan when he felt Sirius' tongue pry entrance to his mouth. Eagerly, he parted his lips to meet Sirius' slick, warm tongue with his own._

_He felt his body melt under the wonderful movements of Sirius' tongue. Remus thought he walked on air, that's how light he felt when kissing Sirius._

_The kiss soon turned hungry as they both felt the kiss affect them. Remus moaned when he felt Sirius' cupped hand come down to stroke over his trouser-clad erection._

_"Ah- Sirius." He was already out of breath from their extensive make out session, and if Sirius' heavy panting next to Remus' ear was anything to go by he felt the same._

_Remus moaned when he felt Sirius rub his hand up and down his bulge. Absentmindedly, Remus spread his legs some more to allow Sirius better access. He threw his head back in pleasure when he felt Sirius give him a squeeze._

_"Ah, please," Remus groaned, begging for Sirius to rid them of their clothes already._

_"Eager, are we?" Sirius teased before he bit down on Remus' neck, making him moan again._

_"I love it when you make those noises." Sirius breathed in Remus' ear, making him shiver unintentionally._

_Remus felt his entire body melt under Sirius' magical touch and only managed to whimper a respond. He lifted his hands to press against Sirius' buttocks, making him inhale sharply and then smirk smugly._

_"Hurry up already, would you?" Remus mocked Sirius before he leaned forward to suck on his lower lip, making Sirius moan._

_Remus felt himself gasp when Sirius suddenly pulled him in for a tight embrace, successfully pressing their trouser-clad erections together._

_Remus held on to Sirius as he felt him pant into his ear while he worked their bodies together, rubbing their bulges against each other, making them both moan and whine._

_"Remus- I" Sirius panted._

_"I want you to fuck me,"_

Remus awoke with a jolt.

He snapped his eyes open and fervently wiped his sweaty forehead on his sleeve. His body felt hot and sweaty all over, like he had been running as he blinked and panting tried to clear his mind.

It had been a dream. It had just been a dream.

He closed his eyes as he tried to calm his racing heart, hoping to go back to sleep soon. But then he felt it.

He felt a churning in his groin and lifting his covers and glancing down he felt his eyes widen as he saw the front of his pajama bottoms protrude visibly. Remus quickly covered himself by his covers again, feeling embarrassed, but then he felt the covers rub against it, making him gasp at the pleasure that shot through his body at the contact.

Suddenly, he felt a powerful shudder of desire surge through him and he didn't care about the consequences anymore. It was dark, he was alone, and the only thing that mattered was the throbbing in his groin that urged him on.

Before he could change his mind he positioned himself face down on his pillow before he placed himself on his knees on the mattress, lifting his ass in the air. He hurriedly yanked down his pajama bottoms and briefs enough to release his pulsating member, and he hissed when he felt his cock get freed from its cage to stand out in the open.

With no time to lose Remus reached down his right arm to wrap around it, and he gasped when he gave it a slow, firm stroke. The picture of himself being kissed by Sirius from his dream came back to him, and he remembered the sensation of Sirius palming him.

Panting, he spread his legs some more to allow himself better access before he started stroking at a fast pace, each stroke hard and urgent, making a powerful shiver run down his spine as he imagined that the hand belonged to Sirius.

He soon found himself grinding down the mattress to meet his hand with every fervent stroke. As he felt the incredible heat build up in his lower abdomen, waves of pleasure surge through him, more powerful by the second, he bit down on the corner of his pillow to suppress desperate moans. It felt too good. He had never been this aroused before.

He spread his legs even more, until his working hand came in contact with the mattress beneath him. He rut against the mattress, tried to get more friction as he imagined Sirius being there with him.

Remus felt sweat break out all over his body, and his heart pounded at an alarmingly fast speed. His mind was overwhelmed by the desire to keep moving, to keep stroking until he got release.

He accidentally let slip a whine when he let his thumb swipe over the sensitive head, but instead of being afraid of getting busted, or waking up his friends that slept only a few meters away from him, he let his hand swipe over the head again, resulting in a powerful wave of pleasure, making him bite down hard on the pillow not to moan.

He felt the pooling heat increase, and it felt incredible. His body was on fire and his mind was in a comfortable bliss. He met his hand with every hard stroke, the heat almost too much for him, until he felt his muscles start to clench. He knew he was close.

With his left hand he let go of the covers he'd been gripping, instead lowering his hand down to his crotch area. He gasped as he felt his hand cup his balls, and the feeling of that together with the sensation of his thumb that swiped over the head with each stroke was all it took to send him over the edge. With a low moan Remus felt his orgasm approach, making his toes curl and back arch as he saw stars.

Panting, he managed to stroke his cock to finish before he collapsed on the mattress. He lay there as he felt wave after wave of pleasure surge through him. He tried to catch his breath while he lay boneless on top of his mattress.

After what felt hours he felt his high fade, resulting in him snapping back to reality.

He blinked as he tried to get his brain to function again. The first thing his eyes saw was the wet spot on the pillow in front of him. He lifted his left hand to wipe his mouth that felt wet and realized that the wet stuff on the pillow was his spit.

Remus shifted some on the bed and felt that he was sweaty and _sticky_ all over. And while still feeling befuddled from his powerful orgasm he lowered his left hand and startled when he felt something wet and sticky cover the entire front of his pajama top and stomach where the top had ridden up.

He felt a flush creep up on his cheeks as he slowly positioned himself on all fours, limbs wobbly and shaking under his weight, and glanced down on the mattress. The first thing he noticed was his flaccid dick that hung between his legs, but then he saw the wet splotches of come all over his mattress and clothes. He felt his heart do a jolt when realization dawned on him. What had he done?

Gasping, his eyes widened. He just remembered about his roommates. Had he accidentally woken them up? Had they heard or seen him just then?

Remus snapped his head to the side quickly. He squinted in the darkness, and soon he could make out the outlines of James and Peter's double bed. They seemed to be sleeping, and straining his ears Remus thought he could hear the soft snores from Peter reach his ears.

Phew, they hadn't heard him.

Sighing, Remus slumped down on the bed again, but grimaced when he landed on the now cold come that covered his bedsheets.

Remus shook his head, scolding himself. Who in their right mind wanks in a shared area? With their best mates only meters away? With nothing in between them but thin air? Remus thought it was good that he'd at least been sane enough to leave his covers on. He at least had something shielding him from the world in case someone actually would have woken up.

He felt nausea rise in his throat when he thought back to what he had done. He felt sick. There had to be something wrong with him.  And the notion that he'd imagined doing what he'd just done with _Sirius_ only made him hate himself more.

Defeatedly, and overwhelmed by shame, Remus made his way up from his bed on wobbly legs. He felt himself sway as he stumbled to stand up straight, but he managed to steady himself on the four-poster.

As quiet as he could he sneaked around in their cabin in search for clean bedsheets to exchange his soiled ones. When he'd successfully changed them he tucked the dirty ones in a bag he found at the bottom of his wardrobe. He set his alarm to thirty minutes earlier to be able to sneak out to the utility room before breakfast, hopefully ducking the prying eyes of his friends which he hoped never would find out about this incident.

When he curled into his sleeping position with Teddy pressed to his chest minutes later, after he'd changed out of his dirty pajamas and cleaned himself up, he let out a heavy sigh. He couldn't believe himself; he had only had a go with his dick a couple of times before, but those times had never been like what he'd just experienced.

He didn't know whether to feel guilty or happy about the fact that he'd just had the best orgasm of his life by imagining himself doing unspeakable things to his best mate. But then he settled on the former.

He closed his eyes, eyebrows turning into a frown.

There had to be something wrong with him.

'''''''''

"Are you avoiding me or what?"

Remus startled, but he resolutely continued his stare competition with his plate.

"I don't know what you're talking about." He spoke to the plate in front of him, successfully avoiding Sirius like he had been doing for the past day and a half.

"Honestly? You didn't think I'd realize if one of my best mates suddenly ignored me?" Sirius muttered before he huffed, sounding irritated.

"Can't believe this..." He muttered, probably to James who sat on the seat between Remus and Sirius.

"Relax, it's probably nothing." James tried to reassure Sirius but Remus could hear the worry in his voice. He didn't understand, but Remus wasn't planning on explaining any time soon. He just wanted some time for himself where he could sort out his confused feelings for Sirius.

Remus lifted his hand to stare at his nails. He jolted when he felt a hand land on top of it, pressing it down on the table.

"Remus? Please talk to me." Sirius pleaded, making Remus glance over at him. Though, he wished he hadn't because now that he'd started looking at Sirius again he couldn't look away.

Sirius looked at him with a sincere expression, and when Remus felt the butterflies in his stomach flutter he realized that all avoiding-games were useless. Nothing could change how Remus felt now. It was too late.

"Sorry." Remus whispered, shrugging, trying not to gasp when he felt the over side of his hand heat up where Sirius touched it.

Sirius frowned at him. "So you did avoid me? But... _why_?" He pryed, eyes searching Remus' for something.

Remus blushed and tore his eyes away to look over at Peter instead, but when he saw him critically look at him as well Remus lowered his gaze to stare at the table.

"Ehm, well, ehm," He started. "I- I, ehm, don't know." He mentally slapped himself for the useless lie. He could have made up literally any excuse that would have been better than what he'd just said.

"You don't know?" Sirius repeated, voice thick with disbelief before he laughed sarcastically. "You expect me to believe that when you can't even look me in the eyes?"

Remus felt his entire face heat up with embarrassment and shame. His heartbeat echoed in his ears and suddenly he wondered if Sirius could feel it where his hand lay on top of his.

Remus flicked his eyes to their hands. He felt something flutter in his chest when he saw Sirius perfect, slim fingers lay over his, and suddenly the combination of his confrontation, the sensation of Sirius' hand cupping his own and the beating of his chest got too much.

Remus snapped his hand back from under Sirius' to place it in his lap where he covered it with his sleeve. He stared at the table as he mumbled a determined "I said I don't know."

He could feel three pair of eyes stare at him, and he hated himself for lying to his friends. But he couldn't tell them. It was his own fault that he was so weird. He didn't want them to know, and the price of that was lying even if it resulted in awkward silences and hurt feeling.

Remus thought he heard his friends mumble something among themselves as his pounding heartbeat echoed so loud in his ears he had trouble to make out anything at all. He wondered if his face was as red as it felt. If it was he probably looked like a tomato by now.

"Moony..."

Remus felt a hand pat his shoulder, and out of the corner of his eyes he saw James smile at him looking concerned. Remus sighed. He wished they would just drop it. Couldn't he act weird for one day without them worrying over him? But then he remembered that he'd never had friends who cared about him before.

"I'm sorry." Remus told James, looking up to meet his eyes. He forced himself to smile at him reassuringly.

"It's alright." James smiled back immediately and looked relieved by the fact that Remus met eye contact again.

"I'm sorry I avoided you Padfoot. It won't happen again." Remus made himself smile at Sirius, but felt the smile fade when he saw Sirius confused and hurt expression. He knew Sirius wanted to know why. But Remus refused to tell him.

"I guess it's alright...?" Sirius spoke, unsure, after a while, making Remus sigh with relief.

Remus apologized to Peter as well, just for good emphasis, but regretted it when Peter asked "Why are you so red in the face?"

Then Remus ignored him for the rest of the lunch, instead discussing the plan of the day with James and Sirius.

The four of them were just about to leave for activity when they heard Slughorn's bellowing voice coming from the front of the dining hall. And turning their attention to him they received the information that the girls from McGonagall's camp were to come over for some sort of summer party later.

Slughorn excitedly told the boys that the girls were to arrive earlier than usual. They were to eat dinner with the boys in the dining hall, and after that Slughorn would make Filch hide treasures in the sand on the beach which teams of two boys and two girls were to dig up.

Then Hagrid would light the bonfire for a wonderful evening of chatting and dance, since Slughorn apparently had bought some sort of music playing device the day to honor.

When Slughorn finally finished his speech Remus felt overwhelmed by the extensive information. It was going to be a long day; he just hoped it would be fun as well.


	13. Sand

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We're getting to some of my favorite chapters of this fic now, I'm getting very excited. Hope you like this chapter!

"Hey! Hey Evans! Over here!" James shouted across the dining hall. Remus rolled his eyes at him. He regretted ever telling James Lily's last name.

The girls arrived just as the first plates of food were put out on the serving tables. Slughorn had gathered all the boys to stand along the back wall of the room to greet the girls, or something, Remus hadn't minded listening to as he was too occupied staring at Sirius who's shoulder pressed onto his.

Turning his attention to the approaching girls Remus spotted Lily walking toward them. With one last glance at Slughorn to check it was okay to move Remus stepped out of the line and met Lily halfway.

"Hi Lily." He smiled.

"Hi Remus." She smiled back at him kindly before they both lifted their right hands to do their secret handshake. One handshake, two claps and one swipe; Remus always smiled as his hand dropped to hang by his side again. Lily remembered it even though it'd been months since they'd last done it.

Remus felt something nudge him in the side and turning his head he saw James ruffle his hair next to him.

"Hey Evans." He grinned, apparently not sensing Lily's increasing frustration. "You look great today." He motioned for her skirt and blouse before he added a wink.

"That's all you care about, isn't it? Looks!" She scolded him. And before James had any time to defend himself Lily stomped on his foot and then turned around to join her group of friends by one of the tables.

"What can I say? Sucks to be you mate." Came Sirius' teasing voice as he walked up behind them.

"Sod off." James mumbled, eyes trailing Lily. "She'll come around eventually. She's just in denial."

"If you say so," Sirius sang.

Remus simply shook his head. He was the only one among them who actually knew Lily, and unless James matured _a lot_ he wouldn't ever have a chance at her.

"Can we move already? I'm starving." Peter complained from next to James, sounding impatient.

The four of them headed for their usual table but when they found it occupied they had no other choice but to sit down at another one. They found four free seats by a table occupied by the Prewett twins and Frank where they sat down. Remus thought it was funny how they managed to fill seven seats with only boys when the dining hall was crowded with girls.

After dinner they walked out of the main building, heading for the beach where Filch had prepared a treasure hunt for the campers.

Remus watched as boys and girls in all ages gathered around the beach by the lake, and got lost in his thought for a while until he felt someone tug on his sleeve. Looking to the side he saw Sirius look at him expectantly. Remus felt his cheeks heat up under the gaze but tried to ignore it.

"What is it Padfoot?" He asked.

"Can't we have a cool handshake as well?" Sirius blinked at Remus excitedly.

Oh.

"S-sure." Remus smiled at him, but felt confused. Did Sirius think the idea of a secret handshake was cool or did he want to do it because it was between him and Remus? He decided it didn't matter.

"Awesome!" Sirius grinned at him before he lifted his right hand. And after staring at it for a second Remus remembered he was supposed to lift his own, so he did. Then they decided on a series of movements, and then they had come up with their own secret handshake.

Remus tried not to flinch every time their hands brushed against each other, but there was no stopping the blush that covered his cheeks at the end.

"Can we do it one more time?" Sirius asked, sounding excited. When Remus nodded they did the handshake once more. Swipe palms, clap twice, slide the over side of their hands against each other, bump fists, circle the air and then finish with a firm hand hold.

Remus swallowed nervously when Sirius held on to his hand for a moment longer than necessary when they were done. But then he heard a loud voice come from behind them, and Remus looked over his shoulder too see what the noise was all about.

" _Oh Wormy_ , can't we make a secret handshake? _Pleeease_?" James batted his eyelashes at Peter who looked confused, but when he saw James wink at him he got the message.

"Oh, yes Prongsie, I would _love_ that!" He sang, voice high pitched.

"I love _you_!" James made kissing noises with his lips as he gripped Peter by his shoulders and he leaned forward.

"Ew, gross!" Peter shrieked as he tried to struggle out of James' firm grip. James only laughed at him before he flicked his eyes to grin at Remus and Sirius.

"Really funny James; I dare even say absolutely hilarious. I'm dying of suppressed laughter over here." Sirius stated, but didn't look the least bit amused. In fact he looked irritated.

James flashed Sirius a broad grin before he aimed a playful jab on Sirius' chest. "Knew you'd like it." He teased.

Remus didn't dare open his mouth to speak. He felt his cheeks burn from embarrassment, and from the fact that James had implied that Remus and Sirius loved each other. Remus didn't dare explore however those feelings were correct or not, so he stayed silent.

His attention was turned elsewhere when he heard the bellowing voice of Slughorn who made his way over to the beach. He held a paper in his hand and as it fluttered in the wind Remus saw that it was some kind of a list.

As Slughorn proceeded to count up names Remus realized it was the groups for the treasure hunt. He wondered why Slughorn had arranged the groups, but perhaps he wanted for the girls and boys to interact more considering that all groups consisted of two boys and two girls.

Remus listened as James and Peter got called over to make a group with Mary and Marlene. They walked over to the other side of the beach where James high fived the girls that seemed excited to be in a group with them. Remus then watched as the rest of the groups formed, and started to wonder if Slughorn had forgotten to include him in one when he heard his name being called.

"Mister Remus Lupin and Sirius Black are to form a group with Miss Petunia and Lily Evans."

Remus' face lit up as he heaved a sigh of relief. He might as well had been chosen to be a team with Snape, Narcissa or anyone as awful. Instead he got to build a group with his best boy-friend and best girl-friend. (And her less amusing sister of course.)

"Great! Let's go!" He heard Sirius chirp before he draped an arm over Remus' shoulders. Remus felt the butterflies flutter again, and his heart skipped a beat, but he tried his best to act normal. He also tried not to take a whiff of Sirius' wonderful scent that he wondered how he could have failed to notice until now.

"Can we switch places?" They heard James shout desperately as they passed him, but he only received a swift glance in response from the both of them. James shouted "Hello!", not liking the feel of being ignored, but there was nothing in the world that could make Remus switch places with the Queen herself at that moment. He would not give up his place in the same team as Sirius, and, well, it served James right to be ignored considering he'd made fun of them before.

"Hello." Remus smiled sincerely at Lily and then forcefully at Petunia who glared at him, her face looking more like a horse than ever. Remus wondered how two sisters could look so different.

Sirius greeted them as well, but with less enthusiasm as his attention was directed elsewhere. Remus thought he'd probably spotted Regulus or another one of his relatives.

"Hello Lupin. Black." Petunia pressed out reluctantly, crossing her arms over her chest, earning her a disapproving jab from Lily.

"Tuni, Remus is my friend. Remember...?" She mumbled, not wanting Remus to hear her but he did. Though, he didn't mind if Petunia liked him or not. He wasn't a particularly big fan of her anyway so it didn't matter. As long as she wouldn't be mean to him he didn't mind.

"Here, take one each." Sirius had turned his attention back to the group, and Remus raised his eyebrows when he saw Sirius hand them a shovel each.

"Where'd you get those?" He asked.

"Filch." Sirius motioned to Remus' left, looking around he saw Filch walking to every group, handing out shovels.

Remus nodded and thanked Sirius when he received his shovel. He tried not to twitch when their fingers brushed against each other again, but when he felt Sirius' fingers linger under his for a moment longer than necessary Remus jerked his head up.

Just as his eyes met Sirius' he looked away and let go of the shovel.

Remus narrowed his eyes at him. That was odd... But good, because now Remus could fidget on the spot nervously without Sirius' curious eyes on him all the while.

When Filch had successfully handed out shovels to every boy and girl present they heard Slughorn bellow for them to start with the treasure hunt. The beach was long, and if Slughorn spoke truthfully Filch had hidden different treasures all around it.

Before they decided where to dig first Lily thought they should need a team name, and after some discussing they decided on 'Team Awesome'. It wasn't the coolest name Remus had ever heard but they ran out of time as they saw other groups start digging at a fast pace.

Team Awesome walked forward until they found a patch of sand that was free from other campers. Remus crouched down, ready to start digging already when he heard Petunia shriek.

"Am I supposed to _knead_ down? On the sand!?" She waved her hand in the air, motioning for the sand.

Remus rolled his eyes. Drama queen. How did she think they were going to find the treasures hidden _in_ the sand?

"Come on princess, stop complaining. Do you want our team to win or not?" Sirius frowned at her with an expression that said are-you-serious-right-now.

"Don't call her 'princess' like that. It's rude." Lily scolded Sirius, placing her hands on her hips.

"Yeah, you're rude! I don't want to be in a team with you." Petunia glared at Sirius who looked torn between wanting to laugh or grunt.

"Do you think I want to be in a team with _you_? Stupid horse-face..." Sirius muttered. Remus' eyes widened when he realized that Lily and Petunia had heard him.

"Excuse you?" Lily asked Sirius, voice raising an octave warningly.

"You're horrible! You're just like the other Black's!" Petunia shouted, looking ready to tears.

Remus snapped his head between the three of them, unsure of what to do. He didn't want to join the fight, or have to choose sides, so he was left to anxiously watch the exchange.

" _What_ did you say?" Sirius spoke, voice suddenly low and warning. Remus eyes him with trepidation as he watched Sirius slowly rise up to his feet, eyes sending glares and jaw clenching.

"Are you deaf or something?" Petunia mocked before she staged a cold laughter at him.

"What did you say!" Sirius shouted before he flung himself forward.

With a yelp Remus jumped up from his crouching position and quickly placed himself between Sirius and Petunia just before Sirius lifted his fist.

"Sirius." Remus spoke as he lifted his hands to grip Sirius' shoulders. "Sirius, look at me." He ordered, making Sirius look him in the eyes. It was with a sigh Remus watched how the burning hatred in his eyes changed to something softer.

"Don't... don't compare me to my family." Sirius mumbled before he hunched his shoulders and lowered his fist to hang by his side. "I'm not like them." Sirius grunted before he took a step back.

Remus let his shoulders go while trailing him with his eyes. Sirius rarely spoke about his home life and only about his relatives if he wanted to inform anyone about how awful the lot was. Remus suspected that Petunia had hit a nerve, and actually didn't feel the least bit sorry for her. No, instead he wondered what Sirius' family members might have done to make Sirius despise them so much.

Remus watched as Sirius crouched down on the sand again and was about to join him when he heard approaching footsteps behind them.

"Director! Director! That boy over there attacked me!"

Remus snapped his head to the side and saw McGonagall and Slughorn make their way over to them, concerned creases in between their eyebrows.

"Stop shouting Miss Evans, we can hear you just fine." McGonagall scolded, making Petunia gasp, looking offended.

"I-I'm sure there must have been some sort of misunderstanding," Slughorn tried, eyes darting from Petunia, to McGonagall, to set on Remus. Lily stayed silent as she watched the exchange in front of her, and Remus suspected that Sirius wanted to keep a low profile as he innocently played with the sand.

"No! Sir, he attacked me!" Petunia furiously pointed her index finger at Sirius who had his back against them as he dug in the sand. He acted like he had been sitting there the entire time but Remus could see that his body was tensed and that he anxiously eavesdropped on the conversation behind him.

"I-is it true?" Slughorn turned to McGonagall.

"How am _I_ supposed to know that Horace? I wasn't present at the time, remember?" Sha snapped, making Slughorn startle.

Remus started to like this McGonagall woman more and more. He had never seen a teacher talk back to Slughorn like that before.

"But it is true!" Petunia urged.

"Please try to be quiet for longer than five seconds at a time, Miss Evans. Can't you see that we're having a conversation here?"

That silenced Petunia as she glared at McGonagall. Remus thought he heard a low snicker come from Sirius' direction.

McGonagall cleared her throat. Then she turned to face Remus.

"Mister Lupin, I believe?" He nodded. "Would you please be so kind to answer me if what Miss Evans over here are proclaiming is true or not?" She raised her eyebrows. "Did Mister Black 'attack' Miss Evans, yes or no?" She narrowed her eyes at Remus who gulped at the sudden questioning. It was down to him whether Sirius would get punished or not. But the answer was easy.

He let his eyes flick to Sirius' crouching figure on the sand before he flicked it back to McGonagall. He took a deep breath before he answered.

"No ma'am." He lied.

He heard Lily and Petunia gasp behind him, and thought he heard Sirius drop his shovel. Remus knew it was always better to tell the truth than to lie, but he didn't want Sirius to get in trouble. He suspected he already got enough of that at home. Plus, Petunia had been mean and silly so it served her right to look like a fool in front of the directors.

Remus met McGonagall's sharp gaze with what he hoped was a determined expression.

"Well then." McGonagall spoke after a while, her eyes setting on Slughorn who looked constipated. She looked back to give Remus a curt nod.

"Now that that is out of the way, I would hurry up with the digging if I were you. The other teams are way ahead." She stated before she turned around and left with Slughorn struggling to catch up after her.

Remus let out the breath he'd been holding. He made to finally walk back to Sirius, hoping their team might be able to find at least a couple of treasures before they were all found, when he felt a hand grab his wrist.

"Why did you lie?" Petunia demanded.

"Because." Remus tried to yank Petunia's hand off of him. "Let me go." He ordered.

Petunia let him go after he stomped on her foot, making her call him a bastard.

Remus aimed an apologetic look at Lily over his shoulder before he walked over to Sirius and saw her look as bothered as he felt. Remus loved Lily, as a friend, but he couldn't hang out with her if she was with her sister; if her sister bothered Sirius. But at least Lily seemed to understand. She didn't scold him for lying.

When Remus reached Sirius he sat down on the sand and then opened his arms to wrap them around Sirius in a hug.

"It's okay. They're gone now." He swiped his hand over Sirius' back and felt Sirius slump down on the sand and turn to return the hug. Remus felt his heart jump when Sirius accidentally brushed his lips against his throat.

"We can dig here, and they can dig somewhere else. It's okay. She won't bother you again." Remus tried to sound soothing, but it felt odd to be on the other side of the consulting considering that he usually was the one feeling hurt and ultimately on the receiving end.

Remus felt Sirius hum, the vibrations making Remus' shiver unintentionally. He gulped. Had Sirius felt that?

"Are... are you freezing?" Sirius whispered close to his ear, making Remus receive another pleasant shiver.

"No, how so?" He whispered, tightening the hug just because he had the chance. Being this close to Sirius felt like the most comfortable thing in the world.

"You're shivering." Sirius stated, making Remus' heart jump nervously. Sirius had felt his shivers! What would he make as an excuse?

"Oh, ehm, I-I was cold, but, ehm, not anymore..." Remus trailed off, shutting his eyes at his own awkwardness.

"Oh, okay." Sirius thankfully dropped the subject, but he didn't let go of his tight embrace with Remus. Instead Remus felt how Sirius lowered one of his hands to swipe across his back, making his cheeks burn and something flutter in his chest.

"Hihi." Remus giggled when the bubbling feelings in his chest got too much.

"What?" Sirius asked, his hand stopping with its swiping.

Remus quickly broke the hug in favor of slamming his hand over his mouth. God! He did not just _giggle_.

He dared a glance at Sirius who gave him a funny look. Remus watched as Sirius lifted his right hand to ruffle his hair, making Remus lower his hand from his mouth to place it on Sirius' chest, trying to push him away. But he stopped struggling when he realized he could feel the outlines of  Sirius' lean chest under the thin fabric of his shirt.

Remus let his hand push against Sirius' chest with very little force, to be able to feel the heat radiating from Sirius' skin through the shirt. He didn't know whether to feel guilty or not over the fact that he used Sirius for his ulterior motives when he had no idea what he was doing. Sirius probably thought he just didn't want to hurt him or something since he pushed with so little force. Not that he was feeling Sirius up.

Too soon Sirius released Remus' hair and instead picked up his shovel to start digging in the sand. Surprising Remus who had forgotten all about the treasure hunt until now. Remus' hand fumbled for a while until he found his own shovel and gripped it, and just as he scooped up the first ounce of sand he heard someone shout "I found one!"

Looking up to search the beach for the lucky one Remus' eyes stopped on James who jumped around on the spot, hand punching the air, holding something small and golden with... Remus squinted, with wings.

Next to James and a sweaty Peter Remus saw Snape, Rosier, an unknown girl and one of Sirius' cousins. He didn't know who it was, but asking Sirius he got to know it was Narcissa; the one with the blonde hair and air of nonchalance.

Turning his attention back to the sand Remus started digging again. He dug and dug, the heap of sand next to him growing by the second. He got sweaty all over, and sand stuck to his sweaty forehead when it flew with the wind.

Remus was sure he'd gotten sand in both eyes _and_ inside his briefs when he finally felt his shovel hit something hard.

"Did you hear that?" He asked Sirius who stared at Remus' shovel that lay deep inside Remus' hole.

"Yeah," Sirius breathed before he lowered his hands to help Remus' bring up the mysterious treasure. Remus felt excited as he started digging out the item. In the back of his head he hoped it wasn't a rock.

Him and Sirius used their bare hands as shovels, heaving handfuls of sand up on the beach. Remus tried not to blush when he felt Sirius' fingers brush over his time after time, but failed miserably. Perhaps he could blame his red cheeks on the sun.

"There, look!" Sirius proclaimed joyfully. Remus gasped when he saw the small box beneath their hands.

"What do you think is in it?" Sirius asked as Remus lifted the box to lie on his palm.

"Don't know." Remus confessed, eyes searching the small black box for any clues as he twisted and turned it over in his hand. He thought he heard a small rustle of some sort come from inside it.

"...Are you going to open it?" Sirius asked eagerly as Remus remembered that Sirius was known for his impatience.

"Yes, in a second." Remus promised. He gave the box a shake and listened to the rustling coming from inside it. "Do you think it's something made of metal?" Remus asked Sirius who seemed able to burst from excitement.

"Don't know? Open it!" Sirius grinned.

"Hope it's not a rock..." Remus mumbled as his fingers found the opening. Slowly, he opened the box and then brought it closer to him to peek inside. When he saw the content he gasped.

"What is it?" Sirius asked curiously.

"It's, I, I think it's two rings." Remus told the box.

"You think it's two rings or is there two rings inside? Can I see?" Sirius asked.

"Yeah." Remus handed the box over to Sirius who voiced a low 'wow'.

"Can I take them out?" Sirius looked up at Remus.

"Sure." Remus shrugged before he watched Sirius turn the box upside down, emptying its content in his palm. Remus saw the two silver rings land on his palm and for some reason that made Remus blush.

"Think it's real silver?" Remus asked, eyes stuck on the shining rings.

"It is." Sirius nodded. Then he reached out his arm to give the rings to Remus who took them.

"Here, they're yours." Sirius smiled at him. "Lucky you, first thing you dig up are something valuable. Filch has probably buried a lot of useless junk around here." Sirius stated before he turned his attention back to his own hole, and made to reach for his shovel when Remus heard himself shout "Wait!" louder than necessary.

"Hm?" Sirius pryed.

"I, ehm," Remus suddenly felt extremely nervous. He took a deep breath before he went on.

"Do you perhaps... want one? One of the rings I mean...?" Remus dared a glance back at Sirius. He felt his heart jump excitedly when Sirius grinned at him.

"Of course I would! But are you sure?" Sirius smiled at him, his eyes honest. When Remus saw the grey in Sirius eyes dance in silver, making the butterflies in his stomach flutter, he knew there wasn't anyone he would rather share the rings with.

Plus the fact that sharing rings with Sirius somehow felt more intimate than he'd first estimated.

It was with red cheeks that Remus nodding took one of the rings and held it out for Sirius. His hand automatically flinched when Sirius' fingers brushed against it, but if Sirius noticed it he didn't say anything about it.

With a jittery feeling in his chest Remus watched as Sirius threaded the ring on his index finger of his left hand, but then changed it to the middle finger since it was too big. Absentmindedly Remus found himself hoping that Sirius would put it on the ring finger, but then he scolded himself. He was _not_ going to lure Sirius into that.

Remus glanced down on his own ring. He put it on his middle finger of his left hand as well, to match Sirius.

"Nice, thanks Rem." Sirius grinned at him, Remus smiling back.

Remus felt his smile turn into a grin when Sirius aimed a playful jab on his shoulder. Remus gave Sirius' shoulder a jab back, secretly enjoying every time he touched him.

Sirius grinned mischievously at him before he lifted both of his hands to shove at Remus' chest gently. Remus frowned at him, trying to tell him not to shove him, but it had no effect since his huge grin only urged Sirius on.

Sirius only stopped with his playful jabs, pushes and shoves when they heard James walk by them, loudly bragging about how many treasures he'd found already.

"I found a hairbrush, a shoe _and_ a snitch!" James sang as he proudly strutted around Remus and Sirius before he started heading back to his team again.

Sirius tsked. "What the hell's a 'snitch'?" He muttered before he gave Remus a look that told him he thought James was mental.

"Oh, you wouldn't know. They can only be found by the best treasure hunters out there and sadly you're not one of them." James sang over his shoulder before he smiled at them smugly, hand waving a goodbye at them.

"Wanker." Sirius mumbled as he grabbed his shovel to start digging again.

Remus tore his eyes from Sirius and started digging as well. Then they dug and dug and it felt like they had been digging for hours, Remus not finding anything in the large mass of sand. He was just about to give up when he heard Sirius laugh next to him.

"I found something!" He shouted.

Remus quickly hurried over to Sirius' hole. He lowered his hands to help him dig the item out when he saw Sirius already holding a small box in his right hand. Remus watched as Sirius gave the small blue box a shake before he lifted it to his face to view it better.

"What do you think it is?" Remus chirped.

"Have no idea, but I hope it's something better than the trash James found over at his side of the beach." Sirius joked, making Remus laugh.

Sirius found the opening and opened the small box. He lowered his fingers inside and Remus watched as they came back with something in between them. Remus squinted as Sirius placed the items next to the box on his palm. It was...

"Necklaces." Sirius stated as he lowered them to lie in his lap.

"Yeah." Remus mumbled. Two silver necklaces lay on Sirius' lap, and doing a close up Remus saw that one of them had a crescent moon as a pendant, the other a dog's paw.

Remus narrowed his eyes. That was odd.

"What a coincidence!" Sirius exclaimed cheerfully before he lifted the paw-pendant necklace to examine it more firmly.

Remus tried to calculate the odds of the fact that Filch had found out about their nicknames, ordered two matching necklaces just for them, hidden them on this side of the beach, made sure that Remus and Sirius was on the same team and then place them on this side of the beach where the necklaces were hidden. He didn't think it was a coincidence, but with no evidence he was left to simply shrug and take it as it was.

Remus gripped his shovel again when he felt Sirius grab his hand.

"Wait, here. This one's yours." Sirius smiled, and as he released his Remus' hand Remus saw that he had placed the necklace with the crescent moon there.

"Thank you." Remus smiled, feeling grateful for the gift even thought it was a tad creepy that just him and Sirius had found this pair of the necklaces.

Sirius grinned back at him as he put his on. Remus put on his as well and rejoiced in the fact that he and Sirius shared both rings and necklaces now.

Swiping his eyes over the many boys and girls around the beach Remus saw how skirts, shirts, shoes, balls and bags of chips or sweets were thrown next to the digging groups. It must have taken Filch hours to dig it all down.

Remus grabbed his shovel and started digging again. Perhaps he could manage to find one more treasure before it was time to stop.

Remus sank his shovel down into the sand but stopped when he felt a heap of sand land on his lap out of nowhere. Frowning, he stopped in his tracks. Had he accidentally thrown the sand on himself? But as he saw another heap of sand rain down over his trousers he realized it was Sirius.

Remus raised one eyebrow at Sirius as he turned around to face him.

"You've got sand in your lap." Sirius snickered under his hand before he let slip a chuckle.

"You too." Remus told him, expression earnest, making Sirius frown.

"No I don't?" Sirius looked down at his lap for good emphasis and that's when Remus took his chance. He filled his shovel with sand and then threw it all over Sirius' lap with a satisfied huff.

"Now you do." Remus laughed.

Sirius gasped dramatically.

"Moony!" He gasped again, making Remus laugh louder. Sirius looked really funny when he over exaggerated like that.

Remus stopped laughing when he felt another pile of sand land on his lap. Looking at Sirius he saw him look at him with a mischievous glint in his eyes. Remus felt his lips curl into a smug smile. The game was on.

Remus and Sirius filled their shovels and proceeded to cover each other with sand. Remus felt sand grains sneak under every layer of his clothes, get stuck in his hair and set in his ears, but it was too fun to play sand-war with Sirius to stop. They both laughed as they alternated between throwing sand and duck attacks.

Remus rolled around on the sand after a particularity big sand pile had landed on him. He laughed but felt the laughter get stuck in his throat when he felt Sirius lean over him and grip his shoulders playfully. Remus swallowed before he glanced up at Sirius' glistening silver eyes. They looked almost inhuman in the bright light of the sun. Looked too beautiful.

"Do you admit defeat?" He heard Sirius demand from where he leaned over him, held Remus' shoulders.

Remus smirked. "Never." He spoke before he lifted his arms, wrapped them around Sirius and then fell him to the ground. Sirius huffed but didn't struggle out from Remus' grip immediately. Instead he wrapped his own arms around Remus and then rolled them around on the sand.

"I win!" Sirius laughed as he rolled them over the sand, getting sand stuck all over their hair and clothes.

"Okay, okay!" Remus laughed. He forgot all about the camp, the treasure hunt and their sand-war when he felt Sirius press his body against his with every roll over the sand. He closed his eyes and tightened his grip around Sirius. He could feel Sirius rugged breath against his ear, his arms around his back and his hair on his face. Remus felt a giddy smile tug at his lips as they pressed their bodies against each other, Sirius laughing in his ear. But when he felt Sirius' leg press in between his own the reality of the situation dawned on him.

He managed to suppress the moan, but could do nothing to stop the wave of pleasure that surged though him. He wanted nothing more than to spread his legs and press Sirius closer to him, but he couldn't. Not out here. Not out the open on the beach. Not when Sirius thought they only played a game of sand-war.

Instead Remus loosened his grip around Sirius and then struggled out of his grip as he sat up on the beach. It was too dangerous to be that close to Sirius now. Remus couldn't control his body, and he didn't trust himself if he got too excited. He didn't want to accidentally do something that could endanger their friendship or make it awkward between them.

"You win." Remus mumbled to the sand. He heard Sirius sit up next to him, and felt Sirius' eyes bore into his side.

"You alright?" Sirius asked, voice concerned, before he draped an arm over Remus' shoulders. Remus felt his heart jump and his stomach do somersaults at the contact, but his facial expression stayed natural.

"Yes I'm fine." He lied. He turned his head to the side and felt his forced smile turn into an earnest one when he saw Sirius honest concern.

"Time's up!"

They both turned their heads to the beach in front of them when they heard Slughorn's loud voice reach them. Within a minute Slughorn had reached them and told them that all groups were to gather around the bonfire to declare the winning team. Slughorn had gone to inform the next group before Remus and Sirius even had the time to get up from their sitting position on the sand.

When they'd made their way over to the bonfire along with the other sand-covered boys and girls Slughorn positioned himself in the middle of the crowd and cleared his throat. He announced that the team that had found the most treasures would win a grand prize, and after walking around to listen to the groups as they told him and showed him what they'd found Slughorn announced that the winning team was 'Team Red'. Remus watched as Gideon and Fabian Prewett along with two red headed girls made their way over to Slughorn to receive their price. They won a big bag of candy which they could easily split in four.

Team Red walked back to the crowd as Slughorn announced that the bonfire would be lit in ten minutes. Then they would bring out the radio to play music which they would need for the dance.

All in all Slughorn seemed the most excited out of the lot as he almost bounced up and down on the spot when he made his way over to Hagrid to ask him to lit the fire.

Remus let his eyes slide to Dumbledore who stood on Hagrid's left. Remus watched as Dumbledore threaded a finger around the tip of his long, white beard. Then he watched as Dumbledore proceeded to lift his glasses further up on his nose.

Remus was just about to look elsewhere when he saw Dumbledore look back at him. First feeling confused Remus swiftly looked over his shoulder to check if the man perhaps looked at someone behind him, but no, he looked straight at Remus.

Remus looked Dumbledore in the eyes, but glanced down when he saw Dumbledore point at his chest. Remus trailed his fingers as they moved to point at Dumbledore's middle finger of his left hand next. Remus felt confused when he turned his gaze back to Dumbledore's eyes.

He saw Dumbledore look at him knowingly with a mysterious smile on his lips. Then he gave Remus a slow wink before he looked away from him.

Remus stared at Dumbledore a while longer as he contemplated what he'd just seen. Then it hit him.

Dumbledore had meant the necklace and ring when he motioned! But wait. Why did he do that? Did he mean that he'd seen that Remus and Sirius had found them, or did he mean something else? Did he perhaps mean that he knew about their codenames?

Remus shook his head, trying to clear his confused thoughts. Then he remembered about Sirius that stood next to him.

"Hey Sirius." He whispered while he tugged at his arm, gaining his attention with a "Hm?"

"Did you see that?" Remus tilted his head to the side, motioning for the teacher's side of the bonfire area.

"No, saw what?" Sirius frowned at him, but on his lips was a curious smile.

"Did you see _Dumbledore_!" Remus hissed, getting tired of explaining.

"Wha-?"

Remus grabbed Sirius by his chin and turned his head to look in front of them. He helped Sirius to spot Dumbledore, but when Remus turned his head to look again he froze.

Dumbledore was gone.


	14. Dance

Remus dropped his suspicion about Dumbledore for the time being when he saw Hagrid light the bonfire in front of them. He mumbled something under his breath to Sirius who frowned at him, looking almost as confused as Remus felt. But then Remus shrugged it off as being nothing so Sirius looked elsewhere.

About thirty minutes later Remus found himself in the middle of a game of charades. He sat in a small circle around James who waved his arms out in the air, trying to motion for the others what he was.

"A bird!" Someone shouted. James shook his head. Then he spluttered with his lips and waved his arms up and down in the air before he fell down into a heap on the ground.

Remus frowned. What kind of bird collapsed like that?

James suddenly sat up, eyes blinking slowly like he saw the world for the first time. Then he rose up his feet as he held his arms out in the air again, waving them around like a bird. That's when Remus got it.

"A phoenix!" He shouted, earning him a thumbs up and grin from James.

A phoenix was known for its turning into flames and then born again from the ashes, so of course James had fallen down to the ground like that. Remus smiled when he remembered how James had spluttered with his lips. He was probably trying to imitate fire or something.

"Great! Your turn." James reached out his hand, wrapped it around Remus' wrist and hauled him up. He took Remus' seat on the ground next to Sirius and looked expectantly up at Remus who stared at him in disbelief.

"But- but I don't want to." Remus pleaded, hunching his shoulders as he felt ten pair of eyes land on him

"You should've thought of that before you answered. Sorry." James shrugged but didn't look sorry. No, quite the opposite. He looked smug from where he grinning leaned back on his arms.

Remus sent a desperate look on Sirius and Peter each but looked away when he was met by apologetic smiles from them both.

Reluctantly Remus placed himself in the middle of the group. He tried not to look too closely at the faces staring at him. Sure, most of them he knew from before, such as Frank or Marlene, but he still didn't like to be the center of attention. It made him feel uncomfortable.

He searched his mind for something or someone to be. Then his eyes landed on Hagrid who added firewood to the bonfire, and he decided to be him. After taking a deep breath he started.

Remus first motioned a big belly as he swiped his hands in the air up and down around his stomach. Then he combed through an imaginary beard which reached him to his chest. He patted an imaginary moustache next.

"An old man!" Someone suggested. Remus shook his head.

"An old _fat_ man!" Someone shouted again, and looking around Remus saw that it was a grinning James that shouted at him.

Remus shook his head at him, but first made sure to send him a glare. It was James' fault he was making a fool out of himself right now.

Remus started stomping on the ground, trying to relay Hagrid's heavy weight and the loud sounds that always warned about Hagrid's entrance. When no one suggested anything Remus placed his hand over his head and then slowly lifted it higher, trying to show them that Hagrid was tall.

No one got it. And feeling himself growing frustrated over how difficult it was Remus grunted.

"An old, fat and _angry_ man!"

Remus sent James a death glare. This was not funny. Though, as he glanced over at James that was laughing Remus saw Sirius and Peter suspiciously hide their mouths under their hands. Squinting, Remus thought their faces looked red.

Were they laughing at him as well?

Feeling his face grow red Remus got desperate to finish with his turn already. He searched his brain for any more of Hagrid's significant behaviors when he remembered his many peculiar outfits; Hagrid often wore old coats made from odd animal skins.

Remus unbuttoned the buttons of an imaginary coat, took it off, and then put it back on again. He tried to make it look as it was heavy so he hunched his back some from the weight of it. He looked around on his spectators expectantly, but no one seemed to get it.

"Oh look; if it isn't little Siri and his pack of so called friends?" A loud, nonchalant and positively vicious voice came from behind Remus. Frowning, he turned around, and felt himself startle when he saw who the voice belonged to.

"What are you doing here, _Narcissa_?" Sirius' voice dripped of hate as he hauled himself up to standing position.

Glancing behind Narcissa Remus saw the snarling faces of Snape, Rosier, and Lestrange. He didn't like the feeling of having their glares aimed at him.

Narcissa ignored Sirius and instead turned her attention to Remus who slowly had taken a step back, trying to back out from the scene.

"Are you playing charades?" She raised a arched eyebrow at Remus. "Oh, let me guess." She gave Remus a look over before she raised her chin in the air and snarled. "You're a _beggar_?"

Remus felt his stomach drop as his chest constricted uncomfortably. He heard the loud, shrieking laughter that came from Narcissa and her pack. Heard the laughter that was aimed at him.

Remus glanced down at his clothes. Sure, they weren't as fancy as any of Sirius' or James', but there wasn't any holes in them. He'd put on his nicest pair of clothes for the evening. But apparently he looked like a beggar.

He swallowed but felt that he couldn't as the lump in his throat grew. Instead he turned around to make his way out of the circle, not wanting to risk anyone seeing the tears stream down his face.

Just before he started running he thought he heard Sirius shout "You crazy bitch!" He hoped it was directed at Narcissa.

''''''''''

Remus sat on the farthest end of the bridge. He didn't feel like participating in the ongoing activities, games or party anymore.

He wiped away the tears on his cheeks with his sleeve. He fiddled with his trouser pocket before he found a napkin he used to blow his nose.

He knew he shouldn't let the mean words of bullies get to him, but it did. Even worse was the fact he'd been made fun of in front of others. In front of Sirius.

It hurt. It made him feel like horrible. It made him feel pathetic for even trying.

Frustrated, he threw his used napkin in the lake.

He couldn't help how he looked. He couldn't help if he was born into a wealthy family or not. He could only be himself. But apparently that wasn't enough. That wasn't good.

He found a small rock beside him on the bridge which he fiercely threw in the lake, rejoicing in the loud flop that reached his ears as it hit the surface.

He rubbed the crease between his eyebrows, hoped that it would ease the aching pain of humiliation in his chest, when he heard approaching footsteps. Turning his head to glance over his shoulder he felt his heart jump in his chest. Sirius walked towards him.

Remus turned his head back to stare at the small waves in the lake. He heard Sirius walk up to him, then saw him sit down to his right. Remus glanced at him from the corner of his eyes, but snapped them back to the lake when he saw Sirius look back at him.

Remus tensed when he felt Sirius drape an arm over his shoulders, but relaxed within a second. He leaned close to Sirius, dropped his head on his shoulder. He closed his eyes when he got a whiff of Sirius' unique scent.

"Don't listen to them." Sirius whispered suddenly. Remus listened to him but stayed silent.

"They're worse than shit. You're much better than them, thousands of times better than them, and that's why you shouldn't care about what they're saying. Okay?" Sirius let his arm swipe over Remus' back, but Remus still stayed silent.

"Everything they're saying is nonsense anyway. I don't care about your clothes, which by the way are perfectly normal and ten times more comfortable than mine, they're just clothes." Sirius reached out his other hand to snake its way to find one of Remus'. Remus felt his cheeks heat up when Sirius entwined their fingers.

"I think you're really awesome. You're super cool, and funny and intelligent, and that's all that matters. You're you and that's how I, I mean, that's how people like you best." Sirius babbled at a quick pace, making it difficult for Remus to follow. But he got the message. Sirius cared about him.

He felt Sirius turn them around so that they sat face to face. Remus glanced up at Sirius which looked at him with a tender expression.

Remus watched as Sirius let go of his hand and shoulders to lift his hands to cup Remus' cheeks. He let his thumbs wipe away the last remains of the tears that had stained Remus' cheeks.

"Please don't cry." Sirius whispered gently as he let his thumbs wipe Remus' cheeks one last time before he lowered his hands to his lap.

As Remus looked deeply into Sirius' emotional eyes he felt something warm fill his chest. His heartrate sped up and he felt the butterflies in his stomach urge him on. Suddenly he was overwhelmed by the urge to just lean forward and capture Sirius' lips with his own. To kiss him.

"Do you want to head back to the cabin?" Sirius asked.

Remus snapped back to reality. But then he felt his entire body heat up as he realized what Sirius had suggested.

"W-what?"

"Do you want to call it a night, or are you ready to go back to the bonfire? I understand if you want to hit sleep instead." Sirius gave him a sad smile before he patted his shoulder.

Remus scolded himself for even thinking that Sirius had suggested that they walk back to the cabin to have some fun just the two of them. Here Sirius, his best mate, was sincerely concerned for him and wanted to console him when he was sad. Remus felt bad for even thinking about ulterior motives.

"We can head back for the bonfire. I'm fine now anyway." Remus spoke as his eyes trailed a swift wave on the water surface.

"Thanks," Remus turned his head to the side to look Sirius in the eyes. "Thank you for, you know... caring." Remus felt his heart jump when Sirius gave him a fond smile.

"Of course I care. There's only one Moony." Sirius shrugged as if it was the most natural thing to say in the world; like it explained everything. Even though Remus didn't think he was anything special he still felt his heart swell from Sirius' words.

"Want to head back now?" Sirius asked as he stood up, reached his arm out to help Remus up after him.

"Yes." Remus smiled shyly as he gripped Sirius' hand and felt Sirius' warm, firm fingers slide against his own. Remus' stomach rejoiced at the contact and asked for more.

He only felt a bit guilty when he stumbled on purpose to let Sirius help him regain his balance. Sirius was always eager to help, so it was almost too easy for Remus to sneak himself some touches here and there.

When Remus steadied himself the two of them made their way back to the beach, Remus with one of Sirius' arms draped over his shoulders, making him feel giddy with happiness.

When they reached the mass of boys and girls by the bonfire Remus' ears snapped up on some loud music coming from the direction of his left, and looking over there he saw a radio stand on the ground, loudly playing music over the grounds.

Remus grimaced at the sounds. He wasn't particularly fond of forced music. If he could decide he preferred silence or instrumental music from pianos or violins.

He started to feel uncomfortable as he let his eyes wander from the radio to the campers surrounding them. He saw girls and boys dance together in groups or pairs of two. Remus didn't like the way he saw the people in front of him press their bodies against each other.

On his right Remus thought he could hear James ask Lily for a dance right before he heard her turn him down out in the open. And next to James Remus saw Peter dance with Mary who sucked on a lollipop. Absentmindedly Remus wondered if Peter perhaps had bribed her into dancing with him by using the candy.

Grimacing, Remus opened his mouth to suggest that he and Sirius head back for their cabin when he felt Sirius let go of his shoulders and turn Remus around so that they were positioned face to face.

"Want to dance?" Sirius asked with playfully smile, making Remus' heart jump.

"W-what?" He sputtered, face turning red.

"Come on, it'll be fun." Sirius aimed a playful jab on Remus' chest, making his stomach churn from the touch. Sirius had probably no idea of the effect he had on Remus.

"O-okay then." Remus wanted to slap himself for stuttering at the least fitting moments, making it impossible for him to ever impress on Sirius. However, his mind was directed elsewhere as he felt Sirius grip his hand in his and then yank him in the direction of the radio.

Remus was going to stuttering ask him about his intentions when Sirius stopped walking on the spot, about three meters from the radio, making the music play loudly in Remus' ears.

"Is this good, or is it too close?" Sirius shouted over the music. Remus grimaced, but surprised himself by nodding. He realized that he was too excited over the chance of dancing with Sirius to relay his opinions on the loud music.

He saw Sirius flash him a brilliant grin which made Remus' eyes widen as his eyes flicked to stare at it. Though, his eyes drifted up to meet Sirius' when he felt Sirius let go of his hand. Remus gazed deeply into Sirius' expressive gray eyes which danced in the light from the bonfire. He felt his mind scream for him to just reach out and kiss him, but he didn't. He couldn't. No, instead he cleared his throat as he lowered his head to stare at their feet.

"I don't, I- I can't dance." Remus mumbled, half expecting Sirius to laugh at him, surprising him when he didn't.

"Doesn't matter. Just do what I do and you'll be fine." Sirius spoke with a hint of playfulness in his voice. Remus looked up again just in time to see a smug smirk play on his lips, but in the next second it was gone.

Remus nodded, and then watched as Sirius started swinging his body from side to side as he moved to the music. Remus felt silly from when he mimicked his moves, certain that he looked just as much as a fool as he felt from even trying to dance. But when Sirius didn't complain Remus kept going.

After one song Remus was going to suggest that they head back, since he felt done with the dancing, but then he felt Sirius reach out to grip his shoulder.

"Want to try another dance?" Sirius asked, his voice alarmingly close to Remus' ear, making him bit his lip as he stopped a shiver.

"Sure." He managed to answer, mentally slapping himself when his voice pitched uncharacteristically at the end.

"Okay, ehm, just copy me..." Sirius trailed off, eyebrows furrowed in thought. Remus' eyes widened when he thought he spotted a light blush on Sirius' cheeks but didn't have enough time to investigate as his attention turned inwards when he felt the butterflies in his stomach. Sirius had placed his hands on the sides of his waist, making him torn between squealing as it tickled, or panting as it sent comfortable small shivers through his body.

Blushing, Remus tentatively lifted his own hands and placed them on Sirius' waist. He swallowed when his fingers met the fabric of Sirius shirt, and then felt the heat radiating from Sirius' skin from underneath. He gave the waist a light squeeze with the excuse that he was just trying to get a good grip.

When he felt Sirius take a step closer to him and let out a breath down his neck at the same time he tightened his grip on Remus' waist Remus had to stage a cough to cover up the moan that wanted to slip through.

"Are you okay?" Sirius whispered.

Remus mumbled a choked 'Yes', busy trying to control his body as it heated up significantly under Sirius' touch. Absentmindedly Remus wondered if holding on to each other's waists could be considered dancing, but he didn't complain. Not when his entire body sang in harmony from Sirius' close proximity.

"Okay, now we'll just move around some. Dancing doesn't have to be complicated; really, anyone can do it if they want to." Sirius spoke suddenly, the words coming out from him in a fast pace. Remus struggled to listen to him as he felt Sirius start moving them around in a slow circle. 

Remus stared at a spot on the ground behind Sirius' back, but felt his eyes drift shut when Sirius suddenly pressed their bodies tightly together.

"I think we're supposed to do it this way..." Sirius mumbled when he'd leaned his chin on Remus' shoulder, apparently not sensing the wave of pleasurable shivers that he inflicted on Remus.

All Remus' attention was turned to try and hold back his growing erection. He did not need to get hard from having pressed his body to Sirius' for what, ten seconds? It was ridiculous. He'd lost all sense of control over his body. It had a will of its own. And it wanted Sirius.

With his heart beating at a rapid pace Remus held onto Sirius' waist while Sirius walked them around in a circle. Remus didn't even bother the loud music anymore. In fact it was as if the entire camp had disappeared. The only thing that existed was how Sirius' body felt pressed up against him.

And, of course, the pressing matter in his trousers which he desperately tried to refrain from thinking about.

Remus danced around with Sirius in a wonderful bliss, but then a sudden voice broke though the bliss, making the lump of fear reappear in Remus' throat.

"Look what we have here, if it isn't for a pair of _fairies_. Bloody _disgusting_."

Remus immediately let go of his grip around Sirius' waist and pushed him off him. What he saw when he turned around was a snarling Snape, grunting Rosier and a shocked looking _Regulus_.

Remus winced.

He had already come to the conclusion that _he_ might be playing for the other team, but he did not want to drag Sirius into his world. Sirius had only offered to teach him how to dance, but now that had resulted in Regulus, his little brother, to feel shocked, or perhaps repelled by him.

"Excuse me, Snivellus?" Remus heard Sirius ask through gritted teeth, but he didn't turn around to face him. Though, he thought he could hear the hate dripple from the words, and he strongly suspected that Sirius had lifted his chin in the air just like how so many of his relatives tended to do when speaking to people they hated.

"You heard me. _Fag_." Snape spat, eyes burning with hate. Suddenly Remus felt some of that hate settle in his chest as well. Who did Snape think he was to call people things like that? And why was being a 'fag' a bad thing?

"The _fuck_ did you call me?" Sirius demanded, almost shouting, making Regulus' eyes turn into the size of saucepans. Remus felt something stir in his chest. He wasn't sure if Sirius rage came from being called 'fag' or from wanting to defend him and Remus from being 'disgusting'.

"You heard him!" Rosier joined in, vicious grin on his face.

Remus thought he would do good in helping Sirius but for some reason he found himself standing frozen at the spot. He couldn't find anything to say.

Remus flinched when Sirius suddenly brushed past him to walk up to Snape. It was with a gasp that Remus saw that he had a fist raised.

"I'm warning you." Sirius growled when he'd closed the distance between them. Remus could see the fury burning in Sirius' eyes, making them look the very opposite from the kind grey Remus had grown to love. Suddenly Remus thought Sirius resemblance some of his relatives.

Snape's lips turned into a snarl. "I'm not afraid of you. I'm not scared of some _fairy_."

Remus could literally see Sirius snap.

Before anyone had time to react Sirius had aimed a hard punch on Snape's cheek, successfully sending him stumbling to the ground.

Remus heard Regulus gasp, but it was lost in Sirius' frustrated growl as he leaned down to aim another hard punch at Snape, this time on the side of his head. Remus heard Snape groan in pain, but Sirius wasn't planning on stopping.

Vaguely, Remus thought Sirius knuckles must be hurting, though Sirius made no show of being in pain. Instead he aimed another punch outside of Snape's hands which lay clasped over his aching cheek.

Remus was too baffled to move. He witnessed as Sirius spat insanities at Snape who curled into a ball on the ground. Out of the corner of his eyes Remus thought he saw Regulus take off somewhere.

"Hey! Get off him!" Rosier shouted.

When Remus saw Rosier haul himself on Sirius he felt himself being able to move again.

"Don't touch him!" Remus shouted at Rosier before he in a moment of great courage hauled himself on top of Rosier, making the two of them fall to the ground, rolling around on top of each other.

"Afraid I'll hurt your _boyfriend_?" Rosier laughed evilly before he knocked Remus' head against the ground, making him groan in pain. He had never been good at fights; he usually managed to avoid them by running from the bullies.

"Shut up!" Remus screamed before he managed to turn them around and knock Rosier's head against the ground forcefully.

"But it's true, isn't it?" Rosier laughed again as his eyes sent vicious glares as he stared at Remus. "You _like_ him, don't you? Disgusting." Rosier snarled at Remus before he spat him in the face.

Remus gasped, feeling a mixture of hurt and disgusted. He quickly wiped his forehead on his sleeve, but that gave Rosier the time to turn them around. Remus felt the air knock out of his lungs when he hit the ground. He closed his eyes in pain and tried to move, but Rosier had him locked to the ground in an iron grip around his wrists.

"Don't fucking spit on him, you fucker!"

Remus opened his eyes quickly as Sirius furious growl met his ears. He looked over Rosier's shoulders just as Sirius aimed a well-placed punch to the side of Rosier's face, sending him tumbling to the ground with a groan.

Remus felt something swell in his chest when Sirius appeared at the spot where Rosier just had fallen. It was with awe that Remus smiled at Sirius as he held out his hand to help him up.

When Sirius had hauled him up to his feet Remus adjusted his clothes before he swept his eyes around them. He saw Rosier struggling to get up next to their feet, Snape lying in a groaning pile next to him.

Remus knew that he should feel guilty for the way Snape and Rosier lay groaning on the ground next to them. But he didn't. Not after what they had said and done to them. No, instead Remus felt thankful for the fact that he had Sirius. That they were a team that stood up for each other when the circumstances called for it.

Remus turned to face Sirius when he noticed that the music was off. Frowning, he looked over his shoulder. He felt his heart jolt in his chest when he saw over fifty pairs of eyes stare at them.

He also thought he heard the faint last chants of "Fight, fight!", but his attention was turned elsewhere when he saw a broad, short figure rush towards them.

Slughorn.

"Now, Black, now you won't be able to avoid punishment as easily!" Slughorn panted when he'd made his way over to them. Remus didn't know whether to feel afraid or not; Slughorn wasn't known for handing out punishments after all. But perhaps he wanted to show himself capable under the stern gaze of McGonagall and her ladies.

"Sir! He attacked us sir!"

Remus' heart jumped in fear at Rosier's words. He wasn't particularly lying, but that was only half the truth.

"Sir! He attacked us as well!" Remus pleaded to Slughorn, but he lifted his hand to Remus, motioning for him to silence up.

"This is between Mister Black, Rosier, Snape and me. Please stay out of this Mister Lupin, or do you want to be punished as well?" Slughorn threatened him.

"But-!"

"Shh!"

Remus frowned at Slughorn. Was he serious? Remus had witnessed it _all_ but he wasn't getting the chance to explain only because Slughorn already had set his mind on punishing Sirius for whatever reason.

Suddenly Remus hated Slughorn. He hated how he was willing to degenerate Sirius for the sake of showing off as a stern teacher or something equally as unimportant.

Remus flickered his gaze to settle on someone who'd trailed after Slughorn on his way to them. It was with a shocked gasp Remus recognized the person as Regulus. Then he remembered how he'd seen Regulus run off; he had probably told Slughorn and then got him to stop the fight.

"Director Slughorn, I can ex-" Sirius started while exhaling a breath, but he didn't get the chance to finish.

"No you stay silent over there young man! I've had my eyes on you since the incident with Miss Evans earlier. This time you won't get off as smoothly!" Slughorn furiously waved an index finger in the air, his face turning red, making Sirius raise his eyebrows at him.

"Mister Black you are now going to be excused to your cabin and stay there for the rest of the evening. I believe that you have caused enough trouble here for the night." Slughorn tried to make his voice sound louder and sterner. He adjusted his tie before he bored his eyes on Sirius, waiting for a reply.

Sirius narrowed his eyes at him. Remus himself felt a deep frustration boil in his chest. He could only imagine what Sirius was feeling.

"Sure. _Sir_." Sirius spoke through gritted teeth a moment later.

"Thought so." Slughorn huffed looking proud. He looked over his shoulder, probably to make sure McGonagall watched him before he turned his head back to stare at Sirius.

"So? What are you waiting for? Off you go!" He waved his hand in the air, motioning for Sirius to get going.

With a last glare at Slughorn Sirius was off but not before he 'accidentally' walked into Snape and Rosier that still laid on the ground on the way. "Ops, sorry." Sirius sang before he started making his way back to cabin 7 with long steps.

Remus trailed him with his eyes and was just about to follow after him when he heard a shrieking laughter from somewhere. Looking around he spotted Narcissa, Lestrange and some other smug looking kids laugh at him scornfully.

Turning his head back Remus watched as Slughorn helped Rosier up to his feet, all the while mumbling nonsense excuses.

With a disgusted grimace Remus took a couple of steps back. He didn't feel the need to watch Slughorn try and get on Rosier's good side.

Remus startled when he felt a hand land on his shoulder.

"Hey, are you okay? Sorry I didn't come to help. It was already over when I noticed anything." Came James low voice.

Remus received a concerned glance, but shook the hand off him.

"I'm fine." He mumbled.

"What happened? I mean, it's not like you to join in a fight like that...?" James tried to be sensible but Remus could see the curiosity in his eyes.

"I, ehm," Remus started, but stopped as he felt his face heat up. He couldn't tell James that they'd been accused for being gay. He couldn't tell James that when he knew it might be partly true, at least for one of them.

He opened his mouth to stutter out an excuse when Peter joined them.

"Hey mates- oh, wow! Dude Remus, you look rough! What happened?" Wide-eyed Peter stared at Remus as if he'd grown out a second head.

"Yeah..?" James pryed, just as curious.

Remus shook his head.

"It was nothing. Sorry, but I'm going after Sirius now. You guys can stay here; you don't need to leave as well. You didn't join in the fight after all." Remus declared just before he turned around and took off for cabin 7. He didn't even listen for their replies. He didn't care. The only thing he could think about was that it was his fault Sirius had been excused to their cabin.

''''''''''

"Padfoot? Sirius...?"

Tentatively, Remus made his way through the middle of the room. The cabin was dark, the lamp in the ceiling turned off, and for some reason Remus left it like that. Something told him that Sirius deliberately had left it like that.

Squinting, Remus made out the contours of his bed, then Sirius'. They were both empty.

Frowning, Remus glanced around the rest of the room, but it seemed to be deserted as well. He wondered where Sirius was but then he heard something from the bathroom. It almost sounded as a muffled scream.

He made his way over to the door and pressed his ear against it. When he concentrated he thought he could make out the significant voice of Sirius which muttered words such as 'Git', 'Wanker', 'Son of a bitch'.

Remus had first thought of opening the door to walk inside, but when he heard Sirius angry tone he mulled over the decision again.

Just as he had decided to sneak out of the cabin as quiet as possible and return some time later, since Sirius probably was in need for some time for himself, he felt the bathroom room swing open. It successfully pushed him and made him stumble to the ground with a huff.

"Is there anyone here?" Sirius asked as he stilled the door.

"It's just me." Remus mumbled as he helped himself up again.

"Did you fall or something? Or- oh, wait… were you eavesdropping on me?" Sirius' tone was playful, and in the light from the bathroom Remus could make out a mischievous glint in his eyes.

"No." Remus furrowed his eyebrows, crossed his arms over his chest. "Just came to check on you." He shrugged.

Sirius stared at him for a moment, eyes calculating something Remus couldn't quite make out.

"Okay, cool." Sirius shrugged after a while. "So, what do you want to do?"

"Do?" Remus asked, feeling a tad confused.

"Yeah, or are you planning on staring at the walls for the rest of the evening?" Sirius joked before he lifted his arm to aim a playful jab on Remus' chest.

Remus felt a giddy smile spread on his lips at that. He felt a warmth spread his body all over just from the sole touch of Sirius' hand. Suddenly he felt happy for the lack of light in the cabin since it made his blush less noticeable.

"I thought I could just read, or..." Remus trailed off, not sure how to end the sentence. He hadn't planned anything yet.

"...Or dance some more!" Sirius finished for him.

Remus' felt his heart jump. He looked up and saw Sirius flash him a brilliant grin, all traces of the mishap by the bonfire forgotten.

"I, uh, well... I guess…?" Remus piped. It was difficult to form whole sentences when he glanced into Sirius' wonderful grey eyes which seemed to turn into a different shade every other minute or so.

"Good." Sirius smiled. Then he closed the bathroom door, gripped Remus' wrist and walked them over to the window. At first Remus felt confused but when he looked outside he understood.

Outside Remus could make out the last remains of the sunset. The sky was painted pink, purple, blue, yellow and orange all at once. Remus loved to watch the sunset and he felt his chest constrict with feelings for Sirius when he realized that Sirius had remembered that.

Glancing to his side Remus found Sirius staring at him, making Remus quickly look away again, his heart pounding like wild in his chest. God, why did Sirius stand so close?

"Do you remember the steps?" Sirius asked. Remus nodded. There wasn't as much 'steps' as there was 'hold on to the other's waist while walking into a slow circle'.

When Remus felt Sirius' fingertips brush against his waist he snapped his head to the side as he turned to face Sirius. He found Sirius smile at him, eyes glistening in the light from the sunset. Remus stared at him in awe. He looked beautiful like that.

When Sirius staged a cough Remus snapped out of his staring and instead brought his own pair of hands up to grip around Sirius' waist. He could feel his stomach do somersaults, and he swallowed to prevent himself from accidentally suddenly blurt out his overwhelming feelings.

Remus felt Sirius pull them closer together, his heart literally jumping out of his chest when he felt Sirius press their chests together. He wondered if Sirius could feel his rapid heartbeat against him.

"You're a good dancer." Sirius whispered close to Remus' ear, making him shiver unintentionally as he leaned his chin on Sirius' shoulder.

"Y-you think?" He stuttered.

"Yeah, better than any of the girls I'm forced to dance with all the time anyway. You're much better. Less forced, more relaxed." Sirius stated before he hummed against Remus' ear, making him fight the moan that threatened to escape him as a pleasurable shiver shook him.

"T-thanks, I guess." Remus tried to speak as normally as possible but his voice still pitched at the end. He didn't know whether to point out to Sirius or not that boys usually didn't dance with other boys, though he refrained from informing him. He didn't ever want the dance to end.

"In fact I'm positive you're the _best_ one I've ever danced with." Sirius explained as a matter of fact, making Remus flush all over. He immediately wondered if Sirius just liked the close contact or if his body reacted the same way as Remus' from being close to each other. Remus hoped for the latter.

Remus mumbled an answer, not sure what to say. Remus felt dizzy when he got a faint whiff of Sirius' scent, and before he had time to change his mind he pressed his nose to Sirius' neck and breathed in deep to get a better whiff. He felt a fluttering in his chest, as well as a spark hitting his groin.

He made to steal another sniff, but when he felt Sirius shift he immediately stopped what he was doing and instead awaited the scolding. But it never came. Instead Remus felt Sirius let his hands wander from his waist to swipe over his back.

Remus felt a happy smile spread his lips as Sirius' hand movements made small waves of pleasurable warmth spread from his back to his chest.

Absentmindedly Remus let his own hands let go of Sirius' waist to swipe over his back. Feeling bold Remus even wrapped his arms around Sirius' back and then used them to try and press their bodies even closer together.

Remus felt a giddy happiness take over him as he could feel his chest, stomach, groin, legs and feet press against Sirius. He found himself wondering if they really were still dancing, but then he realized that they hadn't even started walking around in a circle yet. They didn't even have music.

For a second Remus wondered what they were doing, but his questions were pushed away for later when he felt Sirius lift one hand to thread in his hair. Remus felt the hairs on his body all stand when Sirius scraped his scalp with his nails, making him hum approvingly.

Remus felt warm, excited and drunk on happiness from where he held on to Sirius' wonderfully warm body. He had never thought he would love to dance, but if this was dancing he never wanted to do anything else ever again in his life.

Tentatively, Remus slowly lifted his right hand. When his fingertips came in contact with Sirius' neck he buried his hand under Sirius' smooth black curls before he let his nails scrape against Sirius' scalp. Remus felt a proud smile splay on his lips when Sirius shivered against him.

Remus rejoiced in the feeling of playing with Sirius' hair; Sirius rarely ever let anyone except himself touch it. Though, when Remus felt something press in between his legs he startled.

Panting, he closed his eyes as he stilled. When he felt another press to his groin he realized it must be Sirius' leg, but if he did it intentionally or not Remus didn't know. However, it was the most incredible feeling Remus had yet to feel.

He was just about to spread his legs some when he heard the door to their cabin open.

"Hey, we're ba-, wow, eh, should we come back later, or...?" Came James voice, making Remus and Sirius quickly jump and detangle from each other. Remus took a step back before he hurriedly tried to flatten out his hair. When someone turned the light back in the room he desperately hoped his face wasn't as red as it felt.

"Hi Prongs, hi Wormtail." Sirius greeted before he slumped down on the couch, crossing his legs. Remus didn't realize he was staring until Sirius looked over at him to meet his eyes.

Quickly flicking his eyes away Remus turned his attention to the door where he saw a smug looking James and frowning Peter.

"You're back early." Remus didn't mean to sound mean, but he couldn't help but to feel robbed at his moment with Sirius even if it was just him that had gotten lost in the heat of the moment.

"Sheesh, great to see you too Moony." James muttered ironically before he walked over to Peter's bed where he searched the mattress for any leftover candy. Peter followed him, retrieved his backpack from under the bed and then dug up a small bag with sweet raspberries for James.

"You know what I meant." Remus slowly walked over to sit down on his bed. The bulge in his pants made walking uncomfortable but he wasn't going to give it away by walking funny.

"Yeah I know. Wormy actually spotted Lestrange and some other dude I think is called Nott stand by our window peeking in." James explained.

Remus' eyes widened. What?

"So he called me over and together we chased them off. Then we decided to head back for bed since we were already here." James shrugged as he chewed on a sweet raspberry.

Remus sat down on his bed with a gulp. Had Lestrange and Nott seen him and Sirius right then? Or had the sunset reflected in the glass, making it impossible for any intruders to peek inside?

"They... peeked inside, you say?" Sirius asked, and turning his head to the side Remus saw Sirius look at him with a funny expression. Remus tried to make out what it meant but before he got the chance Sirius had covered his mouth with his hand, turning to face James.

"Yeah, weird right? They looked really smug when he chased them off too." James shrugged.

"Were you doing something... funny?" Peter asked, suspiciously looking first at Remus, then at Sirius.

Remus shook his head, kept his gaze low since it would probably give him away.

"No, of course not. I just showed Moony some cool dance moves that's all." Sirius told them as a matter of fact as he placed his arms behind his head.

Remus frowned at his lap. He wouldn't call their controversial 'dance' for 'cool dance moves', but perhaps Sirius hadn't felt what he did back then. Sirius had probably just been about to make up some excuse for him to hit sleep or something.

"That sounds fake, but okay..." Peter mumbled.

"Excuse me?"

"Nothing! Padfoot, I said nothing." Peter lifted his hands in the air in surrender when Sirius glared at him.

"I think I'm going to bed." James stated after a loud yawn, making the other three in the room yawn as well.

"Me too." Spoke Remus. He didn't trust himself to stay around Sirius for much longer. He didn't trust his body to behave, so he reasoned he would do best with going to bed.

''''''''''

Later, as he lay in bed hugging Teddy, Remus let his mind wander back on the events of the day. He thought back on the treasure hunt, the bickering with Petunia and the fight with Snape and Rosier. But most of all his thoughts wandered to Sirius and to how incredible he was.

Remus finally came to realize that his feelings for Sirius weren't just _perhaps_ fancying. He _knew_ now that he to one hundred percent fancied Sirius.

Though, he didn't know whether to feel relieved or not about the fact as he came to the conclusion. Sure, he understood now why his heart rate sped up, butterflies fluttered in his stomach and he felt warm all over whenever Sirius looked him in the eyes or touched him. But he didn't know if it was that great that he'd fallen for one of his best mates. That he'd fallen for another boy.

Sighing, Remus turned around on the bed, struggling to fall asleep. He couldn't remember when he'd started feeling like this but when he let his thoughts wander to _why_ he liked Sirius he found himself remembering tons of reasons.

When he thought about the way Sirius' eyes glistened in the light from the sun, the way he confidently spoke his opinion, or tried to comfort Remus when he was sad Remus felt a smile tug at his lips. Sirius was just too lovable. There were too many things about him that made him unique. Too many things which made it difficult for Remus to look at anyone else.

Remus rolled around on his bed some more, mind replaying memories of Sirius ruffling his hair, smiling at him, _dancing_ with him.

With a smile on his lips Remus fell asleep.


	15. Swim

Remus awoke with a jolt. He snapped his eyes open in the belief that he'd woken up from a nightmare but he couldn't remember dreaming anything.

He sat up on the side of his bed and rubbed the sleep from his eyes. He glanced out their window in disbelief. It was pitch dark outside.

Remus frowned. What had woken him up in the middle of the night?

Just as he made to lie back down he stilled. He sniffed the air twice, and then he got up and sniffed the air from the middle of their cabin. That's odd, he thought. It almost smelled like... smoke.

Remus squinted as he slowly walked around their cabin, searching for the source of the smoke. He sniffed by the door but since the scent wasn't as strong there he moved toward the other side of the room. When he reached their window he startled.

It was opened.

Still half asleep he reached out a hand to close it. And that's when he saw it.

Smoke.

Smoke that pooled in through their open window, successfully turning the air in their cabin poisonous.

With a shriek Remus quickly closed the window, but gasped when he through the glass of the window saw that the outer side of the wall was burning.

The cabin was on fire.

"Sirius! Sirius wake up! It's burning!" Remus covered his nose with his sleeve as a make shift mask as he stumbling made his way over to Sirius' bed.

He walked up to stand on his bed while he let go of his nose in favor of gripping Sirius' shoulders and rustling him awake. When he awoke with a scream Remus shouted at him again.

"It's on fire! The cabin!"

"What?" Slurred Sirius, still half asleep.

"Hurry!" Remus threw Sirius' cover off him before he jumped down from his bed to wake up the others.

"Peter!" Remus rustled Peter awake and then grabbed him and rolled him off to the floor. That woke him up.

"Ow! ... Hey, what's that smell?" Peter asked, sniffing in the air, head jerking from side to side.

"James, James wake up, the cabin's on fire, we need to hurry outside!" Remus shouted for James before he felt a set of violent coughs shake him.

"WHAT?" Peter shrieked when he finally got what was going on.

Looking over his shoulder Remus saw that Sirius had climbed down his ladder and now hurried to open the front door.

"Peter, you go get an adult! Slughorn, or Hagrid or anyone, just hurry!" Sirius ordered Peter who squeaked a 'Yes!' before he ran out of the cabin barefoot and still in his pajamas.

Remus turned his attention back to James who seemed to have been drugged or something. Why did he have to be such a deep sleeper?

"James wake UP!" Remus shouted, but then he saw Sirius climb up the ladder to grip James' feet.

"Rise and shine Prongs!" Sirius coughed, eyes watering from the smoke, before he tickled James' feet vigorously. That finally woke him up.

"Go away Padfoot, five more minutes..." James mumbled, but before he had time to go back to sleep Sirius and Remus had gripped an arm each and hauled him into sitting position. Remus' eyes watered from the smoke, and he wondered if Peter would be back any time soon. He hoped so.

Together Remus and Sirius made James climb down the ladder, and by the time they had dragged him outside he had woken up enough to complain about the smell.

"I didn't know you smoked Sirius. It's bad for your lungs, you know." He mumbled, making Remus growl, growing very irritated.

"I don't. The cabin's on fire." Sirius dropped James on the damp grass about ten meters from their cabin.

"Ha ha, really funny." James yawned. "Is this a new prank or something? Because I'd rather you try again in the morning. Want to go back to sleep…"

"No, I'm serious." Sirius mumbled as his eyes traced the smoke which created an aura around their cabin.

Before James had any time to speak back Remus saw Peter return with Slughorn, Hagrid and Filch in tow, the four of them jogging towards them.

Remus quickly explained the whole story for them as they reached them. Then, when Slughorn seemed too baffled to speak, Hagrid took commando and ran over to cabin 6 which apparently had a hose.

Remus and Sirius ran to the lake to fill buckets with water on Hagrid's command. They found three huge buckets by the bridge which they filled to the brim before they dragged the buckets back to their cabin where they found Hagrid spraying water on the burning backside of it.

To his great relief Remus saw that the fire was small, or at least only about one meter of the wall seemed to be on fire.

He and Sirius gripped one of the buckets before they together emptied it over the flaming wall, gaining them hissing sounds from the dying fire.

Hagrid cheered them on and soon they had emptied all three buckets and ran back to the lake to refill. As they filled the last bucket they saw James and Peter stumbling make their way to the bridge as well. When they told they wanted to help Remus looked around and spotted two more buckets by the bonfire which he suspected Hagrid had used to put it out earlier.

Remus and Sirius made their way back to the wall, emptied their buckets and then watched as James and Peter did the same. And when the four of them and Hagrid fought the fire they soon saw it die out.

With a relieved sigh Remus sat down on the damp grass and wiped his sweaty forehead on his sleeve. He could still make out the faint grays of smoke from their burned wall in the darkness, but at least the fire was gone. Only some of the cabin's exterior had been harmed and if Hagrid spoke the truth he would be able to fix it up within a couple of days.

Sirius, James and Peter sprawled out on the grass around Remus and then they all thanked him for waking them up. Remus' cheeks reddened as he shrugged it off as something friends did, but he felt his heart swell when Sirius proclaimed he'd been a hero and saved their lives. Saved Sirius' life.

Remus watched as Hagrid put back the hose by cabin 6 before he walked back to them. Slughorn and Filch walked up to them as well. Remus glared at them as he wondered what kind of teachers only stood by and watched as their campers fought to put out a fire. He couldn't say he particularly liked any of the two very much.

"I must say that I am throughout shocked." Slughorn's voice trembled some as he spoke. "Do you have any idea of what might have started the fire?"

Sirius, James and Peter all mumbled 'No', but Remus lifted his fingers to scratch his chin in thought.

"Sir, I don't think something started it; I think _someone_ did." Remus spoke, and suddenly he was certain.

He remembered how he'd woken up _accidentally_ only to find their window open to let in the poisonous smoke. If he hadn't had woken up the four of them could have easily died from the smokes, and something told Remus that that had been the plan.

"What are you saying?" Slughorn sputtered, offended. "Do you proclaim that someone, at my camp, would light one of the cabins on fire? On purpose?"

"I think someone broke into the cabin when we were asleep, opened the window and then snuck outside to light the wall on fire, hoping for the smoke to kill us in our sleep." Remus spoke, voice hoarse from coughing. Grimacing, he hoped that his bed wouldn't stink like a chimney from now on.

"What?" Slughorn, Hagrid, James, Sirius and Peter all asked at the same time. Remus shrugged.

"The cabin can't light itself on fire now, can it?... Sir?" Remus rubbed his temples. He felt a headache approaching, and suddenly he realized how tired he felt. He was ready to fall asleep on the spot.

"Well, uhm, no, but..." Slughorn struggled for words. Remus knew he had a hard time even thinking about the possibility that anyone had tried to come for them, but Remus didn't like idea either. He didn't think it was funny.

Filch muttered something to Slughorn and then they both started to make their way back to the main building.

"It was all very unfortunate but we'll deal with the rest in the morning. Tonight you may sleep in the dining hall, we have a couple of sleeping bags you can borrow."

Remus heard his friends groan at the suggestion, but they all hauled themselves up and brushed the dirt from their pajamas' before they made to follow Slughorn and Filch.

Remus saw Hagrid open the door to their cabin to start air out the smoke, and Remus made to stand up as well, but then he saw something on the ground that caught his attention.

Squinting, Remus could make out the outlines of a small piece of paper stuck underneath a rock, lying next to one of their cabin walls. Remus reached for the rock and picked the paper up before he hauled himself up and followed his friends.

When he'd caught up to them he opened the folded piece of paper. He saw a small, crooked handwriting on it. He squinted at the small letters and then he read.

_Black & Lupin_

_We have bared witness to your filthy tendencies and we feel that you need a reminder of the consequences to your utterly repelling actions._

_You are a disgrace to the human race._

_This should teach you a lesson._

Remus felt his stomach drop. He felt the lump return to his throat as his chest constricted in fear. It was his fault. It was his fault they'd nearly got killed tonight.

"What's that?"

Before Remus could hide the note Sirius had taken it from him and quickly turned his back to Remus to read it.

Remus didn't know what was worse. The fact that his enemies had tried to kill him, or the fact that Sirius would know it was his fault. Or, of course, the fact that Sirius might realize that Remus was gay and desperately wanted Sirius to be as well.

Remus gripped the front of his shirt. He could feel the agony ache in his chest as it grew stronger with every step. Right now Sirius was reading the note. Right now Sirius might realize what Remus really was. Right now Sirius might realize Remus' biggest secret.

"Damn." Remus heard Sirius curse when he finally turned back to face him.

Remus stared at him, eyes widened in fear and trepidation. He thought Sirius' eyes burned with hate, and suddenly Remus wanted to flee. He didn't want Sirius to hate him.

He opened his mouth to say something that would make it all better when he heard a 'ritch'. Sirius tore the paper into two.

"Damn Lestrange. Damn Nott. Fucking Snivellus. Bloody _Regulus_." Sirius spat as he tore the paper into smaller and smaller pieces until there was nothing left but dust which he threw on the ground.

"What's going on?" Came James' voice as he frowned at Sirius over his shoulder.

"Oh nothing much. My own _brother_ just tried to kill me, that's all." Sirius spoke, sarcasm drippling from his words.

"What?" James shouted at the same time Peter squeaked. Peter had probably eavesdropped.

"I'll explain it later." Sirius mumbled, motioning for the baffled James and Peter to turn their attention elsewhere again.

Remus felt shocked at the revelation as well, but he simply stared at his feet. He still awaited the anticipated scolding, yell or even punch from Sirius when he realized what he was and that it was his fault.

Remus shook his head. Sirius _had_ to be angry with him. He had to feel disgusted for being mistaken as a homosexual.

Remus startled when he felt Sirius' hand come down on his shoulder, but he relaxed when he felt it swipe down his back to settle around his waist where Sirius pulled him closer. Perhaps Sirius wasn't as repelled as he thought...

"Don't listen to any of what you read in that note. They're just a bunch of shitheads, and the fire was _not_ your fault. I forbid you to feel guilty." Sirius demanded, his eyes boring into Remus who stubbornly stared at his feet, not believing his ears. Didn't Sirius understand what they were implying? Didn't he get that they thought that him and Sirius were a pair of fags?

"And who do they think they are speaking about 'disgrace' and shit? And what do they mean 'witnessed'? Did they spy on us or something? Pathetic!" Sirius laughed but Remus could tell it was forced; Sirius desperately tried to ease the pain in Remus' chest.

"Who knows what they're going on about? And why should we care what they think anyway? Hey, Remus, are you listening?" Sirius bumped his hips into Remus', making him blush.

"Yeah..."

"Then look at me." Sirius spoke honestly. Remus nodded but kept staring on his feet. Though, as he felt Sirius' fingers cup his chin, successfully turning his head to the side he found himself looking Sirius in the eyes. Immediately he found himself getting lost in the beautiful sea of gray and he tried to make out the many different shades of it.

"Listen to me. You're better than them, okay? And it was not your fault, hell, you saved our lives!" Sirius smiled at him before Remus felt the hand move up to cup his cheek.

"We'll get them back for this. We'll get revenge on them. I _promise_." Sirius' eyes turned determined.

"We'll make them regret they ever fucked with the marauders." He grinned maliciously, the scene making a pleasant shiver run down Remus' spine. He never knew Sirius could look so hot when angry.

Remus nodded sincerely. He felt grateful over the fact that Sirius cared for him. And even if Sirius hadn't quite realized the reason _why_ Lestrange and the others had threatened them he still felt thankful for the fact that Sirius stood up for him.

"Feeling better?" Sirius smiled at him, his hand dropping from Remus' cheek making him feel unusually cold.

"Yeah." Remus smiled back at him. He did.

''''''''''

The four boys had to spend the following two nights sleeping in the dining hall. When they finally got to sleep in their own beds on the third night they all slept like kings.

The cabin still smelled some from the smoke, but most of the clothes smelled like normal after only one washing. Remus let Teddy get a wash as well, which apparently was well needed since his fur achieved a much lighter grey color afterwards.

Sirius had told Slughorn who he suspected lit their cabin on fire, but since he had no proof Slughorn had simply waved it away. To their frustration Slughorn had waved away any explanations they came up with and instead told them he thought it was 'an accident'. Remus had boiled from anger when he heard that. How could he say that when Remus literally had proof that someone tried to suffocate them to death?

"Stupid bastard." Sirius muttered next to Remus on their way to the lake on the fourth day. Slughorn had just let them know that he'd drop the case, and that there was nothing to worry about since Hagrid had replaced the burnt wood on the exterior already.

Remus didn't let himself be fooled that easily. He knew for a fact that the locks on the cabins were shit, having witnessed James pry them open with a hair clip many times before.

"Say cheese!" James chirped as they met up with them on the beach.

Immediately Sirius draped an arm over Remus' shoulders and pulled him in close with a smile. Remus forced a smile on his own lips just before James took the picture.

Earlier, when the four of them rummaged through their things to find their clothes to throw them in the washer James had found his neglected Polaroid camera in his trunk. Now he told them he wanted to make up for lost time by taking as many pictures as possible. Though, Remus didn't complain as he'd already talked James into handing him two pictures of Sirius and him. Remus had already decided to put one up by the wall of his bed at home, and to keep the other one with in a pocket at all times for when he felt like he missed Sirius.

"Great!" James shouted when the picture was done as he searched for a shadow to watch the picture come out.

Remus stepped out of his shoes and dipped his feet in the warm sand. The sun was almost scorching above them, making Remus suspect it was the hottest day of the year today.

Of course James, Sirius and Peter had all wanted to go swimming and they had dragged Remus along. But if he was being honest he didn't particularly mind. It was too hot to be crammed up in the cabin reading anyway.

Remus wore his swim trunks with a loose, long sleeved shirt he'd borrowed from Peter. He still hadn't explained to anyone really why he always covered himself with long sleeved shirts, and often long trousers as well, but luckily Peter hadn't asked. Remus was grateful for having such understanding friends.

"Last one in has to kiss Snivellus!" James shouted suddenly.

Turning around Remus saw James and Peter both throw their shirts, shoes and socks off. Then they both spurted for the lake, running past Remus, making him stumble as they brushed past him.

"Hey, wait for me!"

Remus looked over at Sirius, but felt himself gasp when he saw Sirius pull his shirt over his head.

Suddenly Remus felt like he should look away. But it was easily said than done as Remus felt his gaze drift back to Sirius' bare chest immediately. Remus felt his entire face heat up when he trailed Sirius' pink nipples, sun kissed chest and the faint trail of dark hair which disappeared into Sirius' swimming trunks. When Remus' eyes got to the trunks he felt his eyes almost plop out of their sockets.

Sirius wore the shortest pair of trunks Remus had ever seen. And the tightest, his mind added for him. Remus could make out the curve of Sirius' ass, and he found himself wondering what it would look like when wet by the water.

Remus was so occupied with the amount of his staring he jolted when he saw Sirius take off for the bridge. He watched as Sirius' running figure reached the end of the bridge and then dived into the lake.

"Looking forward to kiss Snivellus, Moony?" Shouted James, snapping Remus out of his trance.

"What?" He asked confused.

"The bet? The last one in has to kiss Snape...?" James lifted his eyebrows at him from where he'd walked up to the beach, drippling wet.

"Oh, eh, sure." Remus didn't really care about the bet if he was being honest. There was only one thing gaining his attention right now; Sirius.

Remus felt his jaw hit the ground, his eyes hurt from the staring and his heart jump out of his chest as he watched Sirius break the water surface from another dive. Remus stared in awe as Sirius flung his head around him, sending water droplets flying at all directions.

Then he watched as Sirius lifted a hand to brush back his hair, revealing his high cheekbones that reflected the light of the sun beautifully.

Remus swallowed when he watched Sirius slowly make his way toward the beach, and revealing more of his skin centimeter by centimeter. Soon Sirius' chest was exposed above the water surface, and Remus couldn't drag his eyes away from the wet chest, and absentmindedly Remus bit down on his lower lip.

When Remus saw Sirius' lower abdomen break the water surface he felt his heart stop. Through the wet fabric of Sirius' trunks Remus could make out _everything_.

Unintentionally he licked his lips, and he started panting as he felt a spark of arousal hit his groin. He felt his member twitch approvingly at the sight of Sirius nearly naked in front of him. He couldn't' stop staring.

"Hey, you're drooling."

Gasping, Remus snapped his head around, searching for the noise. Then he remembered James.

With a grimace Remus saw James stand next to him with his arms crossed and an odd look on his face. He looked like he'd just found out about the biggest scoop but still didn't quite believe it was true. Remus realized it wasn't that far from the truth.

"Were you eyeing Padfoot up right now?" James asked while staring deep into Remus' eyes, searching for an answer.

Remus felt himself panic and quickly flicked his gaze to stare at his bare feet.

"No, I-"

"Why're you so red in the face then?" James asked, voice sounding more amused than curious now.

"It's so hot out-"

"Would you like for me to change the bet so that you get to kiss Padfoot instead?" Glancing up Remus saw James smirk at him knowingly. Remus didn't like it. He felt his face heat up again, this time from embarrassment.

"I don't know what you're talking about." He tried to speak as normally as possible.

"Oh, but I think you do." James just wouldn't drop the subject.

"You're awfully interested James, would _you_ perhaps like to kiss Sirius?" Remus tried a new tactic; if he returned James' question to himself he might stop asking such uncomfortable things.

"Kiss Sirius? Pfft! Never! He's like a brother to me." James slapped his knee while he let out a laugh which Remus thought sounded forced.

"Mhm." Remus mumbled, starting to feel irritated, before he turned around to finally step into the water. But he was immediately faced by a drippling wet Sirius, and Peter who followed him.

"What are you talking about?" Sirius threaded his fingers in his wet, dark, hair making Remus quickly flick his eyes elsewhere as he felt his heart jump out of his chest and trunks grow tighter.

"Oh the usual. You know, the weather, about family, about kissing you," James sang.

Sirius snapped his head to the side. "Wait, what?"

"Yeah, you know. The usual. Or wouldn't you say so, Moony?" Remus could basically hear James smirk. Though, he stayed silent.

"Hey, why're you so red in the face?" Peter piped all of a sudden, making Remus' face heat up further.

"Yeah, why?" Remus heard James barely contain a chuckle and felt an urge to hit him.

"I told you. It's the hottest day of the year, _James_." Remus spoke slowly, eyes watching his bare feet as they dug themselves deeper into the sand.

"Yeah, it sure is _hot_ out today, wouldn't you say so, _Remus_?" James sang, making Remus growl and glare at his feet before he formed his hands into fists. If James told Sirius about his secret-

"I'm not sure, but I get the feeling you didn't talk about the weather." Sirius stated, Peter agreeing with him.

"Who knows?" James sang before he took off for the bridge to dive back in. Out of the corner of his eyes Remus saw Peter follow him, and expected for Sirius as well but he didn't.

"Hey, I don't know what happened but you look a bit funny. Are you alright?" Sirius asked sounding concerned.

Remus wanted to laugh. Here he stood next to his handsome crush, desperately glaring at his feet to try and hide his hard cock from said crush, which also happens to be his best mate. And Sirius asked if he was _alright_.

"I've never been better." Remus lied.

"I'm not stupid. I can sense something is bothering you." Sirius spoke, not seeming to buy his bad lie.

Yes, what's bothering me is my bloody dick which is aching for you to touch it, Remus felt the urge to scream, but he didn't. Instead he took a deep breath before he faced Sirius.

"Something was bothering me, but not anymore. Want to swim?" Remus asked while he looked in between Sirius' eyes, not trusting himself to get a glance of those beautiful grey orbs.

Sirius smiled at him and together they stepped back into the lake. Remus held his distance to Sirius and tried to stare at the water surface, not wanting to get caught staring again.

''''''''''

_Sirius pressed his body tightly against Remus, making him pant from where he lay under him._

_Remus panted when he felt Sirius' hand wrap around his shaft, and inhaled sharply when he felt the hand stroke him slowly._

_"More." Remus breathed, earning him a kiss on his neck from Sirius._

_"I love you like this. So sexy." Sirius breathed down his ear, making him shiver violently._

_"Ah," Remus panted when Sirius sped on his hand, lowering his lips to suck on Remus' neck at the same time._

_"You taste so good." Sirius whispered against his skin before Remus felt something hot and wet swipe along his neck. He moaned when he realized it was Sirius' tongue._

_Remus felt too hot, and in the heat of the moment he reached for Sirius and snuck a hand inside his briefs. He felt a powerful spark of arousal hit him when his hand closed around Sirius' hard cock._

_Remus felt Sirius stop abusing his neck in favor of panting harshly onto it._

_Remus gave Sirius' cock a stroke, then another one. He rejoiced in the whines, moans and gasps he drew out from him. He worked Sirius between his hands until he felt precum leak out from it, covering his fingers._

_"Don't- Don't stop." Sirius panted._

_"Don't want it to be over too quickly." Remus explained before he placed a chaste kiss on Sirius now smirking lips._

_"Can't wait to see what you've planned for tonight." Sirius breathed before he leaned in for a passionate kiss._

_Remus felt himself melt under Sirius' tongue, and he was left with the need of more. He was just about to start tugging down Sirius' briefs when he felt a pair of hands squeeze his buttocks, making him moan into the kiss._

_"You like that?" Sirius whispered playfully. Remus nodded, eyes drifting shut in anticipation._

_He felt the fingers spread his asscheeks, and then panted as he felt a finger pry at his entrance._

_He felt Sirius start working on his weeping erection again while leaning down close to his hear._

_"I want to fuck you." He breathed._

Remus startled awake. He quickly sat up on his bed, lifted his arm to wipe his sweaty forehead on his sleeve. He panted for a moment before he remembered what had woken him up.

Another wet dream about Sirius.

Remus sighed. He couldn't go back to sleep now. Not when he felt a hard bulge press against his pajama bottoms.

He covered his eyes with his arm and groaned. It was probably the result of having seen Sirius in the lake earlier. He should've figured.

He rolled to the side and curled into a ball. Perhaps he could go back to sleep... Okay, no. Not when his obedient dick twitched and made itself remind every second or so.

Instead of going back to sleep Remus opened his eyes again and sat up on the side of his bed. Squinting, he could make out the sleeping figures of James and Peter across the room, and he thought Sirius was asleep as well. Though, he wasn't particularly fond of the idea of having a go in the cabin again. It was too risky if anyone of his friends woke up.

Turning his head to squint at the bathroom door he decided to walk over there. Then he'd at least get some privacy.

As quiet as he could Remus stepped down on the floor and pattered over to the bathroom. He slowly opened the door, and winced when it creaked. Snapping his head around furiously for a second he relaxed when he realized the others were still asleep.

He slipped through the door, then closed it behind him and made sure it was locked three times before he allowed himself to relax. He leaned against the door as he waited for his rapid heartbeat to slow down but when it didn't he remembered why.

Swallowing, Remus dared a glance down. He saw his pajama bottoms tenting and allowed himself to groan. Was he really going to do this? First, he thought he could just take a cold shower before he tried to fall back asleep, but then his mind drifted back to the dream and he knew he wouldn't be able to think about anything else until he'd taken care of the issue.

Remus felt his chest stir in anticipation, because even though the real Sirius was sound asleep on the other side of the door the imaginary one in his head urged him on and was eager to help him with his ministrations.

Remus glanced around the room. His eyes swept over the hard floor, the sparse furnishing, and he wondered where he could sit; he wasn't fond of the idea of standing since his knees felt weak already. When his eyes fell on the toilet he walked over and sat down on the lid before he stood back up to remove his pajama bottoms and briefs and throw them on the floor as he sat back down.

The lid was cold, but all Remus' attention turned to the proud erection splayed in between his legs. He aimed the door one last glance, as if checking it was still locked, then strained his ears for any sounds from the others. But when all he heard was silence he looked back at his groin. With one shaky sigh he lifted his right hand and wrapped it around it.

He gave it a squeeze before he delivered the first stroke. Immediately he felt a wave of pleasure surge through him, and he had to slam his free hand over his mouth to stop himself from moaning. Instead he was left to voice a mixture of small whines, gasps and heavy breaths as he worked his cock up and down, up and down.

He leaned back as far as he could on the toilet. He spread his legs some more and raised his hips in tandem with his strokes that got faster and harder.

He closed his eyes as his head fell back to lean against the wall. He felt the heat build in the pit of his stomach, and his whole being urged him on to stroke faster.

Panting, Remus let his mind wander back to the dream. He remembered Sirius panting above him, whisper dirty words close to his ear, hand working wonders with Remus. Remus let his imagination wander some more and soon he pictured lake-Sirius walking towards him, kissing him and replacing Remus' hand with his own.

When Remus imagined Sirius on top of him he had to bite down on his curled fist to prevent himself from moaning and involuntarily wake up the others in the cabin.

"Ah," Remus gasped as imaginary-Sirius' thumb brushed over the head. Remus felt dizzy with lust. He was sweaty all over, and panted as if he'd just run for an hour.

He worked his now leaking erection furiously and felt his release approaching. But it still wasn't enough; he still needed more. He still needed Sirius.

With one last hard stroke Remus reluctantly let go. He allowed himself a moment to catch his breath, but then he felt himself go almost crazy with lust again.

Driven by instinct and desire Remus found himself lower down to the floor where he positioned himself on all fours. For a second he wondered why he'd done so, but then he leaned his head down on one arm as the other one came down to work on his cock again.

With a sharp gasp Remus started stroking again, hard and fast with no time to waste. His face contorted in pleasure as the new position allowed him to thrust down to meet his hand more firmly.

He worked himself close to finish, panting, while voicing small cries and moaning into the floor, not able to stop himself anymore. He imagined dream-Sirius swiping his hands all over him, and then lake-Sirius walking towards him. He felt his muscles start to clench and was just about to deliver himself one final stroke when he remembered something.

Feeling dizzy he let his mind wander back to the dream. He remembered Sirius had done something just before he woke up, but what was it?

Then he remembered.

Remus felt his heart jump out of his chest. He had no idea of what he was doing, but it was worth a try.

Trembling slightly, Remus lifted his head to release the arm he'd leaned on. Then he slowly brought his hand toward his groin, but instead of stopping to cup his balls like he had done before he allowed it to wander even further.

With his right hand he started working on his shaft again, before he with the other hand snaked a finger to search for his entrance in between his asscheeks. When he found it Remus pressed down the finger and immediately he felt himself moan, his legs giving up underneath him.

" _Sirius_ ," He found himself pleading, desperate to hit release.

He pressed at his entrance and worked his cock until he felt his orgasm approach. With one last stroke he felt his muscles tense, arch back and toes curl as he relished in the powerful waves of pleasure.

He lay panting on the floor, chest heaving, mouth hung agape, seeing stars for what felt like minutes. During the wonderful bliss he imagined Sirius laying right next to him, making the pleasure so much more intense.

When he came back to reality he tried to get up but found that his limbs had turned into jelly. On the third try he managed to heave himself up to standing position on wobbly legs. He felt dizzy and had some trouble to keep his balance so he sat down on the toilet lid again.

He waited for his heart beat to return to normal, and felt the sweat covering his body cool, until he swept his gaze around the room. He felt his cheeks burn from shame when his eyes locked on the white fluids covering the floor by his feet. He hadn't realized he'd come on the floor.

Flicking his eyes to himself he saw that he had some smeared come on his stomach as well. Absentmindedly he wondered when he'd removed his pajama top. Looking around the room he found it lying on the floor by the door.

Remus got up and walked over to the sink where he wet a towel that he used to clean the floor. Then he washed it before he swept it over his stomach and flaccid dick. He made sure to throw the soiled towel in the washing bin, and washed his hands throughoutly three times before he retrieved his pajama top and bottom and briefs from the floor and put them back on.

He would have preferred a shower, though he was still afraid of waking up his friends so he decided against it. He desperately hoped that he'd been quiet enough for them to still be asleep.

After adjusting his clothes, flattened out his hair and scowled at his scarlet reflection in the mirror he made his way over to the door. He thought about leaving the door open, hoping that any remaining traces of smell would air out before the morning when his friends would need to use the bathroom for themselves.

When he placed his hand on the lock he stilled. He wasn't sure if he was ready to leave the bathroom yet. When he concentrated he could feel a growing feeling in his chest. A feeling of shame.

A couldn't believe himself. He had just imagined Sirius doing unspeakable things to him, after dreaming about him and voiced his name right before he came. And it wasn't the first time either. It was becoming a habit.

Remus felt his cheeks heat up in embarrassment. He didn't know if he would ever be able to look Sirius in the eyes again.

He shook his head. There was the whole year after the camp where he could roll over in agony from his bad decisions, but for now he would sleep and enjoy the last weeks with his friends. No one would find out about this, Remus told himself. No one would find out and as long as he didn't hurt anyone it was okay.

He pressed his ear to the door to make out if anyone was awake on the other side. When he heard nothing but silence he unlocked the door, and placed his hand on the door handle when he felt it angle down. Remus frowned, but before he got time to wonder he felt the door open forward, making himself move with it.

"Wha- oh, hey Moony."

Remus' heart stopped. It was Sirius.

"Hi." Remus squeaked, and wanted to slap himself when he saw Sirius' give him a look over suspiciously.

"Had- had to, to use the loo." "Remus stuttered, hands fidgeting with his sleeves, hoping Sirius wouldn't remember that Remus usually never visited the loo in the middle of the night. Also hoping Sirius wouldn't notice his throughoutly messed up appearance, red cheeks and wrinkly pajamas.

"Oh, okay." Sirius flicked his gaze to stare at his feet. Remus took the opportunity to press himself past Sirius and took off in the direction of his bed.

"Good night." Remus stifled a yawn just for good emphasis.

"Night." He heard Sirius mumble before he yawning closed the door behind him , and _locked_.

Remus snapped his head to the side when he heard the click. Now that he thought about it was unusual for Sirius to sleep wander as well, and why did he feel the need to lock the door when the only one apart from him awake was Remus? That was going to bed?

Remus narrowed his eyes, but then he widened them in realization. What if, what if Sirius also...?

Remus felt his cheeks burn, and his eager groin twitch curiously. He turned around and slowly sneaked over to the bathroom door. Tentatively he pressed his ear to it and then held his breath as he listened for any sounds coming from inside. But when all he heard was the toilet flush he shamefully made his way back to his bed. He felt guilty for having hoped to eavesdrop on Sirius as he jerked off, but he still couldn't help to let his mind wander as Sirius took his time returning from the bathroom.

When Sirius finally unlocked the door Remus feigned sleep. He opened one eye to peek through his fringe, and he had to hold in a gasp when he saw Sirius leave the door _open_.

Remus felt a mixture of curious and excited from where he trailed Sirius with his eye on his way back to the ladder, but then he realized that if Sirius actually did have a wank he had probably thought about some bird with huge knockers. He probably hadn't thought about Remus. No, of course he hadn't.

Remus wanted to scold himself for even allowing himself for hoping that. Of course Sirius thought about girls; he was straight after all. Not different like Remus.

Remus felt his chest constrict uncomfortable, and suddenly he had trouble swallowing as the lump returned to his throat.

It felt like hours before he fell back in a worrisome sleep.


	16. Love

"Hi Moony!" Sirius cheered.

"Hello Padfoot." Remus smiled at him before they met.

They lifted their right hand simultaneously, then did their complicated secret handshake. Remus was happy Sirius seemed to think it was cool since Remus found reasons to make it as often as possible. Though, his reasons was of course to steal touches of Sirius.

"Hi Wormy!" James chirped from behind them, making Remus turn around to stare at him incredulously.

"Hi Prongs!" Peter joined in, arms reached out, ready to capture James in a bear hug.

"Oh Wormy, why don't we make our own handshake as well?" James sang before he wrapped his arms around Peter lovingly, making him squirm and struggle to release himself from his grip.

"Don't listen to them, they're just jealous." Sirius muttered before he flung an arm over Remus' shoulders, making his cheeks flush.

Nodding, Remus followed Sirius to the bridge where they would plan today's prank. Sirius wanted to prank Snape, Lestrange, Nott, Rosier and Regulus to get revenge, but Remus advised him to cut down that list to one or two names.

They sat down next to each other on the bridge. Remus tried not to grin like a fool when he felt Sirius' thigh press against his own. He brought his hand up to cover his mouth in 'thought', when he was really covering his giddy smile.

James and Peter joined them, when they'd gotten tired of making fun of Remus and Sirius' handshake, and together they started with the planning of the prank.

''''''''''

"You ready? We need to hurry up if you still want to go by Regulus' too." James whispered, voice forced as he lifted the heavy bucket up on his knees.

"Yeah, yeah, I know. On three." Sirius huffed before he gripped the bucket to help James. Remus stood by the door, checking if Snape headed back early from dinner. When he stated the grounds outside free from any greasy gits he turned his attention back to James and Sirius who'd just emptied the bucket over Snape's bed.

"You hurry up with the ants Wormy!" James hissed over his shoulder, making Peter mumble something about "Why do I always get the ants..." before he obediently walked over to one of the wardrobes to empty his smaller bucket in it.

Remus scrunched up his nose in disgust at the scene in front of him. James and Sirius high fived as they'd successfully emptied the bucket with pebbles, lake water and sand all over Snape's bed. Peter got a high five from James when he'd emptied the bucket of ants in the wardrobe they hoped belonged to Snape, but it might as well belong to Rosier. Though, since the both of them were 'bags of shit' as Sirius had said it, it didn't really matter whose wardrobe it was.

"Are you done?" Whispered Remus before he placed his hand on the door handle. He held the hair clip in his other hand and planned on locking the door after them. He'd gotten James to teach him the trick the day before.

"This will teach Snivellus a lesson." Sirius stated proudly.

"Now he'll know the consequences of messing with us!" James joined in.

"The consequences of messing with the marauders!" Peter sang, earning him a pat on the back from James.

"That's the spirit Wormy!"

"Hurry!" Remus hissed, making his three friends snap out of their victory speech. Remus opened the door and let them pass before he turned around to fiddle with the lock. He managed to lock it on the fourth try, and just like how they'd planned it James and Sirius had already ran off in the direction of the lake to stock up on pebbles, lake water and sand.

Remus rose up from his crouching position to gaze over the grounds. The course was clear.

"You coming Wormtail?" He asked over his shoulder as he jumped down the stairs to run from cabin 8 to cabin 9; Regulus' cabin.

Remus felt adrenaline pump through his body, and he actually felt a grin spread his lips. It was a wonderful feeling to get revenge on the ones who'd been mean to him, and even more wonderful to play a prank and risk to be found out at any moment. That notion made it all so much more exciting somehow.

"Wait for me!" Peter laughed before he ran up to Remus. Together they pressed their ears to the cabin to make sure it was empty. Then Remus crouched down and opened the lock with the hair clip. James and Sirius ran up to them, bucket filled with the contents of the lake, just as Remus took his first step inside.

"Hurry!" He hissed to his friends while he tried to contain the nervous laughter that threatened to bubble up from his stomach. He gave in to the laughter when he felt Sirius jab a finger in his stomach playfully as he brushed past him.

"Shh, we're on a very important mission Moony." Sirius scolded him, voice low, but Remus could hear the underlying laughter in it.

"Says the one who keeps talking." Remus chuckled before he aimed a playful push on Sirius' shoulder, making him grin at Remus.

"Stop flirting already, I'm going to barf!"

Remus stilled. Then he frowned. James.

"Perhaps you're going deaf or something, I don't know, but we're not flirting. We're talking. There's a major difference." Remus spoke, trying to focus on his irritation for James rather than embarrassment.

James snorted. "Sure. Call it what you want, but leave it for later. Regulus might be back any minute and since the whole point is to be undercover I suggest we all start focusing on the mission." James declared, ending all discussions for later even though Remus would have loved to give a retort.

Instead Remus looked around the room. He saw four seemingly similar beds and wondered which one's Regulus, but then he saw Sirius point at the bottom left one. It was the only bed in the room which was made properly, looking almost untouched when compared to the other beds.

Remus talked Peter into keeping watch while he followed James and Sirius to the bed.

"Ready?" Sirius mumbled. James nodded and then Remus watched as Sirius lifted the covers before they emptied the entirety of the bucket on the mattress. Remus grimaced when the water splashed on the bed, some of it splashing on to the floor. When they were done Sirius lifted the covers back again, covering the wet mess of sand and pebbles with a smug grin.

"Sleep tight Reggie." Sirius snickered and for a second Remus thought he could see the evil Black-glint in his eyes, but it was gone as soon as it came.

"Mission accomplished." James cheered before he high fived Sirius.

The three of them joined Peter by the door. They slipped outside, checked no one was watching them, and then Remus locked the door.

They had initially thought of swimming in the lake, but then Sirius suggested they prank Lestrange and Nott as well. Since none of the other students had returned from dinner yet they all ran to the lake to fill up two buckets of lake water and Peter filled his smaller one with ants from underneath a rock before they laughing ran toward cabin 2.

On their way Sirius rummaged through his pockets until he found a small piece of paper and a pen. When they'd broken into the empty cabin and spotted the two beds they suspected belonged to Lestrange and Nott Sirius loosened his grip around the handle to the bucket and walked toward Remus.

"Feeling for some sweet revenge?" He grinned, raising one of his eyebrows.

"What do you have in mind?" Remus smiled at him nervously. His stomach did somersaults and suddenly he wasn't so sure the reason was the excitement from the prank anymore.

Sirius showed him the paper and pen before he pressed the paper to the nearest wall and started writing. Remus got what he was doing and quickly joined in. Together they left a friendly little note on the nightstand next to one of the beds, keeping it in place by a large rock they brought from the beach.

_Lestrange & Nott_

_You are both incredible hideous, ugly and a disgrace to the human race._

_Every time we look at you we run to the nearest rubbish bin to throw up._

_Seriously, take a bath or something._

_Sincerely,_

_B & L_

_(PS. Hope you like our present.)_

Giggling from excitement Remus took a step back to watch the folded note under the rock. Then he saw James and Sirius empty the first bucket over the bottom bunk, and the other bucket over the top bunk. Remus saw water sip through the wooden planks from the top bed, dripping down to the lower, but he simply felt a content smile spread his lips.

Peter walked over to the first wardrobe where he empties half of the ants, and then empties the rest in the second wardrobe.

Remus felt happy, proud and a malicious laugh rise up in him as he watched the wet, sandy beds in front of him. He'd never thought revenge could feel so sweet. And they didn't even do anything illegal. They played a fair game with fun pranks, and even though their enemies used foul play Remus was happy his friends didn't. They didn't sink down to the others level.

"There's an ant on my arm!" Peter squeaked, earning him three sets of "Shh!"

James helped Peter get rid of the ant, and then he high fived everyone in the room. The four of them congratulated each other on the successful mission and was just about to head back when they heard a floor board creak on the other side of the door. They all froze. Then James, Sirius and Remus all turned their heads to look at Peter who had the last watch. When they saw Peter flinch, looking constipated, they knew he'd forgotten about his task.

When they heard the low mumbling of voices coming from outside Remus felt himself start to panic. He recognized that voice. It was Lestrange.

Peter piped right before Remus saw James grip his wrist and drag him deeper into the room. With a gasp Remus realized they headed for the window.

"Hurry!" Sirius hissed before he reached out to grab Remus' hand with his own. Remus felt his heart jump at the contact, even in the turmoil of escaping the cabin. He really had it bad for Sirius.

Remus saw James fiddle with the window for a second. Then he flung it open all the way, creating a fire escape. James heaved himself up on the windowsill before he with a huff jumped down on the ground. Remus heard him curse and thought he might have tripped on his way down.

"Wormy jump!" James hissed from the other side, making Peter snap out of his shock and heave himself up on the windowsill. When he'd placed his legs on the other side he jumped.

"You next." Sirius whispered from next to Remus who nodded. They rushed up to the window, but didn't let go of their clasped hands. They threw out Sirius' bucket, gaining them a groan from Peter before Sirius helped Remus step up on the windowsill. Not wanting to let go of Sirius' hand Remus yanked it, motioning for Sirius to join him. He did and then they flung their legs over to the other side and made to jump just as they heard the door behind them swung open.

"Hey!" Someone shouted the moment Remus and Sirius' feet hit the ground. They didn't turn around to look if anyone had reached the window.

"Hurry!" They hissed in tandem to James and Peter. Then the four of them sprinted as fast as they could away from cabin 2. They left their buckets behind, as well as a couple of angry yells alarming them to run faster.

Remus felt Sirius' grip on him tighten as they panted next to each other. Lucky for them cabin 2 was except from cabin 1 the closest cabin to the lake. It took them only about ten seconds to reach the beach, but they didn't stop running as they could hear angry shouts coming from somewhere behind them. They knew they were followed.

"Dive!" James shouted right before he dived head first into the lake. Peter jumped in after him.

Remus stopped running right before the end of the bridge, but before he got any time to take a deep breath Sirius had dived in, pulling him with him.

Remus immediately let go of Sirius' hand when he came in contact with the water. Fervently he waved his hands around him, trying to swim back up to the surface. When he did he gasped for air, coughing up water and swallowed, but he didn't get time for recovery since Sirius grabbed his shirt and started pulling him forward, away from the lake.

"You can't be left behind Moony, hurry!" Sirius shouted before he swam in behind Remus to give him a light push in the right direction.

"Are you coming, or what?" They heard James shout as he swam in the direction of the girls' camp on the other side with an exhausted Peter by his side.

Sirius waved at him and aimed another light push at Remus who'd finally stopped coughing, but then they heard it. Loud, fast footsteps echoed from the bridge next to them. Remus felt his heart jump in fear when he heard the voices of Lestrange and Nott shout "Stay where you are!" and "You fuckers!"

"Okay Moony, we really need to hurry up now!" Sirius exclaimed before he grabbed Remus' left hand and started swimming, giving Remus a pull every other swim stroke.

Remus shook his head, tried to still his racing heart. Earlier, when he'd thought the risk of getting caught was half the fun he hadn't meant it like this.

"I think we'll need to swim under water. Ready?" Remus tried to whisper but it came out more as a hoarse shout. Sirius nodded eagerly and then the both of them filled their lungs with air and dived under the surface.

Remus didn't open his eyes underwater, but he suspected Sirius did as he still held onto his hand, guided him in the right direction. Remus swam until his lungs felt ready to burst and his desperate need for air made him panic before he dived back up. They filled their lungs and dived back in, and they went on like that until they caught up to James and Peter who'd already made it so far as to one third of the lake.

"Think we can swim all the way to the other side and say hello to the fair ladies?" James asked Remus and Sirius when they panted for air after their extensive swim. Remus thought James meant it as a joke, but he also knew that he would actually love to visit the girls.

"No." Remus told him, voice hoarse from his coughing.

James pouted. "Why?"

"First, it's too far to swim to the girl's camp and back again. Second, we wouldn't be welcomed there. Third, I personally don't want to." Remus brushed his wet fringe to lay flat on top of his head.

James gave him a knowing look. "Of course _you_ don't want to." He winked, making Remus' cheeks blush and his eyes dart to Sirius to see if he had heard James. To Remus' immediate fear he saw that Sirius was listening to the conversation with a confused crease in between his eyebrows.

"But I want to. And it's still too early to swim back." James sighed dreamily. "I could surprise Evans..."

Remus exhaled. Lily would not be happy to find James knocking on her door. And Remus was too exhausted to swim over there, and his trousers, shirt and vest felt heavy on his body. He wasn't used to swim fully clad.

Suddenly he wondered if his shoes had fallen off, but when he wriggled his toes he felt they were still there. Phew, he'd only brought one pair of shoes and it would be awkward to walk around barefoot.

"Please Prongs, do us all a favor and promise us to not ever 'surprise' Evans. I don't want to scrape up the remains of you when she's done with you." Sirius stated with a grunt.

"I'll have you know that she's softening up to me!" James looked offended, and his voice pitched at the end making Sirius snicker.

"Sure, if you say so." Sirius shrugged, but he wore a teasing grin on his lips.

Remus saw James' face turn into an odd shade of red as he felt the need to defense Lily's feeling for him. Remus rolled his eyes. He'd known Lily for over a year and if they talked about the same girl James would need to change some of his personality traits if he even wished Lily to look at him.

"Oi! I saw that! You rolled your eyes at me!" James had turned to face Remus. Remus felt his cheeks heat from embarrassment, but just as he was going to make up an excuse a loud wail filled the air.

"I'm hungry!" Peter complained, face contorted in pure agony. "I'm hungry and exhausted and if we stay out here any longer I'm eventually going to collapse, sink to the bottom of the lake and drown!" He added when he noted he'd gained the attention of his friends.

"Relax Wormy." James patted Peter's back, but he kept complaining.

"Can't we swim back already?" He whined like a five-years-old.

"No. Sorry, but we're heading for the girl's camp first." James declared, making Peter frown at him.

"No we're not." Remus cut in before he jabbed a finger in James' chest. James only flashed a him a grin.

"Hey, mates, look!"

Remus, James and Peter stopped bickering to look in the direction Sirius was pointing. Squinting, Remus could make out two figures on the far end of the bridge, jumping and fisting the air angrily. Remus realized it must be Lestrange and Nott and that he should feel afraid, but he didn't. Instead he felt an uncontrollable laugh rise up from his stomach.

Remus fought to stay floating as he laughed uncontrollably. He heard Sirius join as well, and then James and Peter too. The four of them laughed until their bellies hurt from how pathetic and small Lestrange and Nott looked from so far away.

Their laughter got even louder when they could make out a short, fat man jog out on the dock to retrieve Lestrange and Nott. Remus thought he could make out the faint yells of "You'll regret this!" but Slughorn didn't gaze out the lake to see who they shouted at. He simply grabbed their collars and dragged them off the dock.

"Can we go back now?" Peter asked as he was the first one to recover from the laughing fit. The others agreed and they proceeded to swim back to the beach. When they walked up on the hot sand Remus felt his wet clothes stick to his body while drooping from the heavy amount of water.

He groaned when he felt his soaked socks splash around inside his equally as soaked shoes, and groaned again when he saw that the sand stuck to his soles. With stiff steps he made his way up to the grass and the path leading to the cabins. He brushed off some sand off his shirt before he looked up to watch his friends walk up to him.

He saw Peter gasp dramatically before he fell into an exhausted heap on the ground. James helped him up but got covered in sand on the way. Remus grimaced. He hoped they weren't planning on clogging their shower with all that sand. But then he remembered about the hose outside of cabin 6. Perhaps he could spray them clean outside...

His thoughts were interrupted when his eyes met Sirius as he stepped out of the water. With widened eyes Remus saw that his light blue shirt now was completely see-through. While a gulp Remus made out Sirius' nipples, the shape of his chest and when he lowered his gaze... the thin trail of black hair that disappeared in his trousers. Remus bit his lip. He really had a thing for that trail.

"World to Moony!"

Remus snapped out of his reverie and found himself standing next to James who carried a knackered Peter on his back. James smirked at him knowingly before he flicked his eyes to Sirius and then back to Remus again.

"Like what you see?" James' smirk turned smug. Remus felt his cheeks heat up and he turned his gaze to stare at his soaked shoes.

"Don't know what you're talking about..." He mumbled.

"Oh, but I think I do." James spoke mysteriously. He was interrupted as Sirius joined them on the grass next to the beach. Remus first felt thankful for his appearance, but when his eyes found the see-through shirt again he felt his heart jump.

"What are you talking about?" Sirius asked them, looking confused.

"Nothing." Remus mumbled, eyes staring at the grass with fierce determination.

Sirius didn't seem like he was buying it but when Peter groaned from where he lay on James' back they decided to finally head back for their cabin.

'''''''''

In what felt like the blink of an eye July quickly came to an end.

Remus felt a sadness ache in his chest, making him sigh sadly every other second or so. He desperately wanted to stay at the camp for the rest of the year - hell even for the rest of his life if he could. Sure, he liked Lily a lot back home, but she wasn't James, Sirius and Peter. She wasn't a marauder.

Remus loved how his three brilliant friends always made him feel included. They never pressed him for why he swam with his shirt on, or why he always changed clothes alone. They respected him for who he was and let him join them on equal standards. There were no words to describe how thankful Remus was for that.

He trailed after his friends as they reached the hidden passageway over the electricity fence. He watched as James went first, then Peter and Sirius. Remus climbed up the three last. As he swung his legs over the buzzing fence he realized they hadn't used the map to find the hidden passageway for ages. But they didn't need to; they knew the camp inside out already.

On the other side he walked next to Peter until they reached the glade where the four of them lied down on the grass. For the last night at the camp they had decided to have a picnic on their favorite hidden spot in the forest. It was mostly on Remus' request, considering him being the one most longing to watch the sunset and the first stars come out on the sky.

He heard James and Peter empty the contents of Peter's backpack on the ground behind them, and turning around Remus saw the generous pile of sweets they'd nicked from the kitchens. He didn't feel bad for the fact they'd stolen the sweets; the entrance fee for the camp was high enough that Remus would've expected chocolates on their pillows every morning.

Remus reached for a chocolate bar before he leaned his back against the ground again. He broke off a corner from the chocolate and placed it on his tongue for it to melt.

As he lay there, chocolate on his tongue, friends by his side while watching the evening sky change from orange to purple he wanted to freeze time. He wanted to stop time at that exact moment and relive it for the rest of his life, with sweets and his friends in the warm summer air on their glade.

He closed his eyes and took a deep breath.

Right now he felt like home.

He lay there with his eyes closed for a while longer, listening to James, Sirius and Peter bickering about whom to eat the treacle tart. He would be content just to lay there and listen to them forever. All he wished for was to lay here with his friends. But it was a dream he knew would never come true. His parents would come to get him tomorrow, just like James', Sirius' and Peter's parents. Or at least he thought so.

"What time are you parents coming to pick you up tomorrow?" He turned his head to the side and opened his eyes to ask Sirius who lied next to him.

"Oh, ehm. Around three I think. You?" Sirius gazed at him, worry clear in his eyes. Remus felt a pang of worry in his chest when he saw Sirius get that haunted look back in his eyes. Remus knew Sirius didn't want to go home. He knew there was something about Sirius family that wasn't as it should.

"I asked them to come as late as possible this time, so, perhaps around four? I don't know, but I hope it's after you- I mean, after all of you leave." Remus blurted, trying to cover up his mishap. He'd almost blurted out that he'd miss Sirius terribly because of his feelings for him.

"Too bad we live so far away from each other." Sirius stated, not seemed to have noticed Remus' panic.

"Yeah, agree. Why couldn't we both live in London? Or even Wales?" Remus looked deeply into Sirius' expressive orbs which looked weighted by sadness. Perhaps Sirius was just as reluctant about parting as he was.

"I've actually never been to Wales. Do you think I'd like it there?" Sirius asked. He turned to his side and Remus did the same.

"If you like open landscapes, forests and farm life." Remus felt a shy smile pry on his lips. For some reason Sirius' question made him blush.

"Are you proclaiming everyone living in Wales are farmers?" Sirius raised one eyebrow at him. Remus rolled his eyes but felt a chuckle escape him.

"No, but my family are. Dad has a shop where he sells our groceries and stuff. It might sound cool at first but after living the farmer life for thirteen years it tends to get a tad boring." Remus didn't mention their struggle for money, or the fact that the posh kids in Remus' school often mocked him for being a farmer's boy.

"I think it sounds fun. Or, well, it's always fun to get to know more about you." Sirius spoke before he had time to realize what he was saying and how it sounded.

Remus felt his entire face turn red. He swallowed and then lowered his gaze to stare at the grass between them.

"I mean, you rarely ever speak about yourself. It's nice to talk about you for a change." Sirius mumbled, and daring a glance up Remus thought Sirius' cheeks looked tinted pink. Remus felt a happy smile spread on his lips. Sirius liked to know more about him _and_ Remus had made him blush for some reason.

"You're not one to talk; I know nothing about your family." Remus pryed. Sirius only ever mentioned his family when he cursed at them, or talked behind their backs. Remus knew nothing about Sirius' home life, or if he lived in a flat, house or even a mansion. He didn't even know the name of Sirius' parents.

"There is nothing to say about them. They're all horrible. I hate them and they hate me. That's all there is to know." Remus saw Sirius entire body tense up. Remus immediately regretted having brought up the subject. Of course there was a reason for Sirius not talking about them. Why did he have to bring it up on their last night on the camp to destroy the mood?

"I'm so sorry," Remus started but was interrupted when Sirius shook his head.

"It's not your fault." He smiled at Remus who sighed in relief as he saw Sirius relax again. They were silent for a while and Remus ceased the opportunity to get a good look at Sirius' eye color, wanting to remember every shade of grey and silver for him to think back on later.

"Want a sweet raspberry?" Sirius asked after a while, making Remus snap out of his staring to sputter a 'yes'. When he received the candy he placed it on his tongue to suck on it. He smiled at Sirius when he saw him grin at him.

He watched Sirius lift his right hand and then grinned when Sirius lowered it to ruffle his hair. Remus felt the butterflies in his stomach flutter, making him let slip a giggle. He slammed a hand over his mouth, face red as a tomato, but Sirius didn't seem to have noticed, or didn't care. He kept ruffling his hair and Remus was left to glace up at him in awe. He felt his heart jump out of his chest as it tried to get to Sirius and then jolt when Sirius looked him in the eyes. Remus parted his lips and let out a breath. He longed so for just leaning forward and capture Sirius' lips with his own. He wanted to kiss him so bad.

"Are you done flirting already?"

Remus snapped his head to the side. When he saw James lean on his elbows, grinning at them smugly, Remus glared at him. If he already suspected Remus had it bad for Sirius, why did he have to keep interrupting them all the time?

"Flirting? Who's flirting with who!?" Peter squeaked, sounding a mixture of surprised and afraid. Remus frowned and he heard Sirius sigh next to him.

"Or on another thought, please go on. Watching you two turn all red in the face and become all shy around each other is better than tv. I'm telling you. Wouldn't you say so, Wormy?" James laughed before he rolled around on the grass, successfully ducking Remus' fist.

"Wow, watch it there Moony, you almost hit me!" He teased. Remus growled warningly. James was really irritating and it wasn't funny anymore. If he made one more remark about Remus and Sirius flirting Sirius might calculate Remus' secret.

"What are you on about Jamie-boy? I think someone's been out in the sun a tad too long today." Sirius spoke, making Remus chuckle.

"Me? I don't think so, but certainly you. After all, among the two of us there's only one who's red in the face. You!" James jumped up on his feet just in time to avoid Sirius' attack.

"Argh! Just wait until I catch you!" Sirius growled and then him and James ran off on the glade. Remus closed his eyes and counted to ten as he tried to relax. James had really got him riled up.

"What are you talking about?" Peter demanded. Remus didn't answer him.

"Hello?" Peter demanded again. Remus opened one eye while he frowned at him.

"Nothing. Drop it." He explained before he closed his eye again. He heard Peter huff something that sounded a lot like 'Bastards' under his breath but at least he stopped asking questions.

When Remus' heart rate had gone back to normal he leaned back down on his back and opened his eyes. In the far distance he could make out Sirius sitting on James' back, successfully pinning him to the ground and making him eat grass. Remus felt a grin split his face. Serves James right.

Remus watched the sky as it went from purple to dark blue. He heard Peter munch on sweets next to him and after a while they started talking as they waited for James and Sirius to return.

When Remus saw the moon peek through the highest treetops James and Sirius returned, James covered in grass marks and dirt, Sirius' right sleeve ripped from the bodice. Remus thought he must have missed a wild fight.

James slumped down between Peter and Remus with a sigh before he reached for some candy he popped into his mouth. Sirius lied down next to Remus. Remus offered him a piece on his chocolate which he took with a small 'thanks'.

Remus looked up at the sky where the moon had moved to the right. Looking above it Remus could just make out the first star on the night sky. He guessed it must be past curfew, but he didn't care. He guessed a lot of boys would stay out late on the last day of the summer camp.

Remus turned his head to the side and allowed himself to glance at Sirius. In the faint light from the moon he could make out Sirius' profile. He trailed the lines of Sirius' forehead, nose, lips and chin. Then he gazed at Sirius' eyes and found himself counting the many long eyelashes on his eyelids.

Remus' eyes wandered to Sirius' hair next. He saw how the smooth, dark hair spread out on the grass around him, fanning around his head. A few strands still covered Sirius' forehead, and the dark black of the hair made Sirius' pale forehead nearly shine in contrast.

Remus felt something ache in his chest. He sighed in awe when he longingly drank in the wonderful sight of Sirius lying next to him. He was too beautiful.

In that moment, as Remus lay gazing at Sirius, he felt realization dawn on him. Suddenly he knew what he felt for Sirius wasn't just a crush, or fancying.

It was more.

In fact it was so much more it made Remus' heart ache with longing from just looking at Sirius. He knew he wanted him, and not just because of his beautiful looks. No, he wanted _everything_ about him, from his self-confident grins to his mysterious past. Everything about him made Remus feel more attracted to him and somehow he knew there was no stopping it.

He realized the feelings he felt was love.

He was in love with Sirius Black.

''''''''''

"Rise and shine sleepyheads! I'm leaving in five so if you want to tell me how much you'll miss me before I leave this is your last opportunity!" Came James loud voice that woke up Remus, Sirius and Peter who'd still been asleep in the cabin.

"Bye Jamie-boy." Remus heard Sirius mumble from the bed above him.

"Oh, I love you too Siri!" James shouted, making Remus, Sirius and Peter groan again. Remus heard Sirius throw a pillow at James, but suspected it missed since he heard it land softly on the floor next to him.

Yawning, Remus sat up on the bed. He rubbed the sleep from his eyes before he opened them. Blinking, he saw Peter still half asleep stumble to the middle of their cabin to bid James goodbye. Then Remus heard the ladder leading up to Sirius' bed creak. With a groan Remus got up from his bed and walked over to James as well. The four of them joined in a group hug with James in the middle.

"I know you love me and all but I really need to leave now." James excused himself before he gently shoved Remus, Sirius and Peter away from him before he reached for the handle of his trunk. He rolled it to their door and stopped to wave at them before he opened the door to head outside.

"I'll miss you! See you next summer, bye!" James cheered, voice loud and happy. But Remus thought he could make out a lingering sadness in his eyes which he probably tried to cover up by extensive joking.

"See you," Remus mumbled just as James closed the door behind him. Looking around Remus spotted Peter's watch and saw that it was around eight AM. He still had about eight hours before his parents came to pick him up.

Remus winced. The mere thought of returning home made it feel like he got stabbed in the chest. He groaned and lifted his hand to clench at his shirt, next to his heart. He almost suffocated from the extreme pain. He desperately didn't want to leave.

He felt like he could break out in tears at any minute, but he didn't. He told himself he could cry in the car on his way back home all he wanted, but he would try and enjoy his last hours with his friends for now.

After a quick visit to the loo where he gathered his toiletries Remus reached under his bed for his trunk. Then he spent the following thirty minutes packing up his things in it. He carefully placed the two Polaroid pictures of Sirius and him at the bottom, tucked inside one of his shirts.

He changed out of his pajamas, folded it and placed it in his trunk as well. The last thing he packed was Teddy. He gave the old, but now clean, teddy bear a long stroke, and when he'd made sure Sirius and Peter wasn't looking, a quick peck on the tip of his nose. When Teddy laid face-down on top of his clothes, books and other belongings Remus closed his trunk and turned it upright.

He sat down on his bed as he waited for Sirius and Peter to finish packing as well and when they did the three of them headed outside. Remus aimed one good glance back at cabin 7. He hoped he would return to it but he didn't know for sure. He hoped this wasn't the last time he saw it.

The three of them walked into the dining hall where they tilted their trunks against the far wall. They sat down at their usual table and proceeded to eat breakfast under a strained silence. Remus' stomach hurt so he played with his food instead of eating it. Flicking his gaze to his right he saw Sirius do the same.

To dessert Peter emptied his pockets of some leftover candy. Sirius took a sugar scull and Remus took a sweet raspberry. Peter ate the rest, none of them speaking a word to each other. The fact that James was absent from the table made it all too clear for them that they were all parting soon. Remus didn't want to think about it.

The three of them spent the following hours walking around the grounds, remembering some of the highlights from the summer. Remus mostly nodded, he knew he would start crying if he even dared opening his mouth.

Around two PM they fetched Peter's trunk before they walked to the parking lot to hug Peter good bye. When he had left Remus and Sirius walked to a bench they'd found by the outskirts of the forest and sat down. There they talked about trivial things such as the weather, what animals the clouds looked like or how old they thought the bypassing boys were. None of them mentioned the parting, both of them reluctant to believe it true.

Though, soon the clock turned to quarter to three and Remus felt the lump in his throat constrict as he told Sirius he should probably get going. Sirius grunted something, his right leg jumping restlessly.

Remus looked around the grounds and saw Regulus pull his trunk after him as he made his way over the grounds. He spared Sirius a brief glance before he determined turned his eyes back to the rode. Remus heard Sirius mumble something, sounding a mixture between angry and sad, from where they trailed Regulus retreating figure with their eyes.

Remus reluctantly rose up from the bench and motioned for Sirius to do the same. Together they gathered Sirius trunk from the dining hall before they started heading for the parking lot. However, just before they were to walk through the main entrance Remus stopped.

Tentatively he lifted his right hand.

"One last time...?" He asked Sirius with a shy smile. Sirius' face immediately lit up and he lifted his right hand as well. When their hands were positioned next to each other they made their handshake.

Swipe palms, clap twice, slide the over side of their hands against each other, bump fists, circle the air and then finish with a firm hand hold. Remus smiled down at their hands as they stayed clasped just a moment longer than necessary.

When Sirius lowered his hand Remus got a glimpse of something shimmering on his middle finger. He felt his heart constrict when he realized Sirius still wore the ring Remus had given him on the treasure hunt a couple of weeks ago.

"Hey, follow me for a sec." Sirius told him suddenly.

Glancing up Remus saw a funny look on his face. At first glance he looked mischievous, but under that was an undertone of something else. Nervousness, Remus realized. Remus wondered why but thought it might have something to do with him returning to his mad family in a matter of minutes.

"Okay." Remus forced a smile, but when he felt Sirius' hand clasp around his own the smile changed into a genuine one. It was magical how a simple touch from Sirius could make Remus' chest dance with incredible happiness in a second.

They left Sirius trunk by the entrance and then Sirius tightened his grip around Remus' hand and started leading them past the reception desk to a corridor Remus had never been in before. Sirius led them to a door, and reading the sign next to it Remus realized Sirius had led him to Slughorn's office.

He was about to ask Sirius if it really was a good idea to break into a teacher's office right now, but then Sirius opened the door which apparently had been unlocked and he stayed silent as he followed Sirius inside. The office was empty.

He heard Sirius close the door behind them. Then he turned around to face Remus who felt his cheeks heat from the intense stare he got from Sirius. He felt an urge to flick his gaze to the floor but he didn't. Instead he gazed into Sirius' grey eyes and tried to memorize them one last time.

"I'll miss you." Sirius told him honestly all of a sudden, making Remus' heart jump in surprise.

"I'll miss you too. Terribly." Remus pleaded and even gave Sirius' hand a squeeze for good emphasis. Remus thought about declaring his love for Sirius right there and then, but didn't as he saw Sirius open his mouth to speak.

"I- I wanted to give you something. Before I leave." Sirius spoke, his voice uncharacteristically insecure. Remus smiled at him, encouraging. He was sure that whatever Sirius would give him he would love it. There was no need for Sirius to feel nervous. After all, Remus already loved him.

"Okay. You need to close your eyes." Sirius smiled at him, but Remus didn't miss the nervous crease on his forehead, as well as his cheeks that looked suspiciously red.

However, Remus only had about ten minutes left before Sirius had to leave so he left the questions for another time.

"Alright." Remus whispered before he closed his eyes. He felt Sirius squeeze his hand, making him smile in happiness. But then Sirius loosened his grip around Remus' hand, leaving him feeling cold.

His smile turned nervous and suddenly he wondered if Sirius was going to prank him, or perhaps lock him in Slughorn's office. Though, all his nervous thoughts disappeared when he felt a pair of warm, comfortable arms wrap around him.

Sirius had given him a hug.

Smiling again Remus lifted his arms to return the hug. He relished in the feeling of having Sirius' warm body pressed tightly against his own. He felt his chest fill with that wonderful warm feeling, and his heart rate speed up. He hugged Sirius tightly and didn't let go until he felt Sirius' grip his shoulders and lean back.

Remus loosened his grip around Sirius and made to open his eyes, but then he felt it.

Before he had any time to react Sirius leaned forward and pressed his lips against Remus'.

Remus' heart jumped and threatened to beat out of his chest as he felt Sirius' perfect, smooth and slightly moist lips press against his own. Remus felt a tingling feeling snake his way from their lips down his body, to spread through his limbs.

Remus pressed his lips against Sirius' eagerly, and tilting his head to the side he felt something explode in his chest. Fireworks, Remus stated.

When Remus felt Sirius' grip on his shoulders tighten he lifted his own pair of hands to cup Sirius' cheeks. Driven on instinct he parted his lips some, and he felt a jolt of electricity surge through him when his lips came in contact with the wet inside of Sirius' bottom lip.

Remus started to feel dizzy. His body, mind and soul all sang as they rejoiced in the kiss. He thought he was dreaming.

Sirius had kissed him!

"Mhm," Remus hummed when Sirius broke the kiss. Remus felt Sirius' hands drop from his shoulders and he let his own pair drop from where they'd cupped Sirius' cheeks.

Remus felt out of breath. He was certain his face was beet red, and suspected he was shaking. He'd just received his first (real) kiss. He'd just received a kiss from his secret love. Sirius had kissed him.

Panting, Remus looked up to find Sirius gaze at him, his cheeks tinted pink and smile happy. Remus got lost in Sirius' eyes which seemed to sparkle of new, wonderful emotions.

"Sirius, I-" Remus started, but was interrupted when Sirius pressed his index finger on his lips, silencing him.

"No. Save that for later." Sirius grinned at him mischievously.

Remus opened his mouth to speak when Sirius lowered his finger, but felt the words get stuck in his throat as Sirius leaned in to press a kiss on his cheek.

"See you next year!" Sirius chirped, almost radiating with happiness. He pressed another kiss on Remus' cheek before he opened the door and disappeared.

Remus stared at the open door for a moment, too shocked to move. But then he remembered he _had_ to speak to Sirius.

"Sirius, wait!" He shouted as he ran out the door. Looking around he felt himself start to panic. Sirius was already gone.

He ran past the reception desk to the main doors, but he wasn't there either. He ran outside to the parking lot and turned his head around, searching for Sirius. He let out a panicked whine and was about to head back when he saw him.

Through the window of a very expensive looking black car Remus spotted Sirius looking at him through the window. Immediately Remus started running toward the car. He saw Sirius begin to wave down the window, but then Remus heard the engine start and saw the car start backing from the parking lot.

"Sirius!" Remus screamed but it was too late. The black car drove away from the parking lot. Away from the camp. Away from Remus.

"Sirius..." Remus whispered, his voice breaking at the end. He fell down to his knees and buried his face in his hands. Tears streamed down his cheeks as sob after sob shook him. There were hundreds of campers, parents and personnel on the parking lot probably watching him but he didn't care.

The only thing he cared about was Sirius and he was gone; gone with his horrible family that he despised.

Remus wailed into his hands. His body trembled terribly and he felt like the aching pain in his chest was going to tear him apart from the inside.

He hadn't got the chance to tell Sirius he liked him back. That he loved him and was crazy about him. He hadn't got the chance to tell him he might not be coming back to the camp anymore. He hadn't told him that his family was poor and didn't have the money for another entrance fee.

Remus fell down on the ground and formed into a shaking ball. He thought he heard heavy footsteps approach and absentmindedly he realized it must be Hagrid coming to check on him.

As another powerful sob shook him he felt like he was dying. The pain was too much and threatened to eat him alive.

He hadn't got the chance to tell Sirius it might've been the last time they ever saw each other.

He hadn't got the chance to tell him he liked him back.


	17. Casanova

**_Summer of 1975_ **

"Be a good boy for us now, sweetheart. We'll miss you." His mother said as she caressed Remus' cheek, smiling at him.

"Behave." His father warned, but Remus could see that he was smiling as well.

"See you on the 31st, have a nice summer, bye!" Remus said as he received two quick hugs before he watched his mother and father get in the car and drive off the parking lot. The Remus turned around on his heels and faced the great main building.

He was finally back.

"Calm down. He might not even be here. He might have forgotten about you." He whispered to himself, eyes closing as he took a deep breath to calm his racing heart. It didn't help.

Opening his eyes again Remus took the handle of his trunk and then slowly started heading for the entrance. His chest ached, stomach constricted and he wondered whether he was about to laugh in excitement or throw up from nervousness. He felt seasick.

He walked through the entrance, found the line to the reception desk and placed himself at the end of it. He thought the outside of the building and the interior all seemed smaller somehow. And all around him were younger, smaller boys and it took a second before Remus remembered he was a fifth year. A last year.

He lifted a hand to absentmindedly rub his nape. He hoped James, Peter and above all Sirius still went to Slughorn's camp every summer. Remus had worked in his dad's shop for nearly two years to save up for the entrance fee which apparently got higher for older campers, and now he hoped he hadn't wasted his time.

He took a step forward in the line. He thought he saw a curtain of dark hair to his right and snapped his hair to look. But no. It was just some kid Remus had never seen before. It wasn't Sirius.

Remus shook his head.

He had tried to forget about Sirius in the beginning. When the aching pain in his chest threatened to drown him he had even allowed Lily to drag him on a set of double dates. However, his two dates had only ended in a disaster and Lily had left him to mourn Sirius alone.

Remus had tried to look at girls. He'd tried to sneak glances of their legs, chests and round bottoms. He'd really tried to find it attractive, but he didn't. The only thing he felt was an urge to look away quickly, and then his mind had wandered back to memories of Sirius. He came to the conclusion that he was either gay, or simply only found Sirius desirable.

It hadn't taken long for Remus to realize his feelings for Sirius wouldn't go away. He spent his days daydreaming about kissing Sirius again, and the nights crying from the aching pain in his chest as his heart longed for him.

After about two months of that Remus had begged his father to let him go to the camp one final time. He had to beg for three weeks before father agreed. Remus had felt instantly happy only to feel devastated as father told him he would have to wait until summer of '75.

Slughorn greeted Remus at the desk, and Remus gave him his best forced smile. He wasn't particularly fond of the man anymore.

Slughorn directed him to cabin 7 and it was with his heart in his throat that Remus turned left to the corridor that lead outside. He opened the door and then started pulling his trunk after him across the grounds which also seemed to have shrunk in size since last time.

Ahead of him Remus could make out the ten cabins with younger boys circling around the majority of them. Remus spotted cabin 7 and steered on his steps when he came close enough to make out sounds coming from inside.

He stopped on the stairs, right in front of the door and took a deep breath. He begged to whoever's out there that Sirius would be inside. That he would be the same and not too badly hurt by whatever evil force that lurks at his home.

Remus wondered if he could lean over the railing to throw up really quick, that's how nervous he felt, but when he heard another loud voice echo though the door he decided to walk inside instead, to get it over with.

He placed his hand on the door handle and opened the door.

The loud chattering inside immediately came to a stop. Remus swept his gaze around the room. James sat on Peter's bed, Peter sat on the floor, and with a gasp Remus saw _Sirius_ sitting on Remus' bed.

Sirius was here!

"Sirius!" Remus shouted, his voice breaking. He let go of the handle to his trunk and started running through the door.

"Remus!" Sirius shouted back as he started running toward Remus.

When they met halfway Remus wrapped his arms around Sirius with a quiet sob. His heart beat like it wanted to jump out of his chest, and his stomach clenched.

"I missed you. I- I didn't think I'd be able to make it back, I- I wanted to come last summer-" Remus blurted before his voice broke in another sob. He pressed his face against Sirius' neck and relished in the warmth from it. He breathed in his scent. He swept his arms over his back. He never wanted to let go.

"Shh, it's alright." Sirius whispered as Remus felt his arms tighten his grip around him. Remus smiled a watery smile when he felt the butterflies in his stomach flutter. He was so helplessly in love with Sirius.

"I missed you too." Sirius whispered close to Remus' ear before he leaned in to place a quick kiss to his earlobe, making him blush. He clung to Sirius like his life depended on it, and he finally felt the painful ache in his chest start to fade. He had found back home.

Remus was so relieved to see Sirius again that he felt his entire body relax, shoulders hunch and eyes drift close. If he got to decide he wanted to stay like this forever, hugging Sirius while he kissed his ear.

He felt Sirius loose his grip around him and place his hands on his shoulders instead, using them to make some distance between them. Remus opened his eyes and felt them widen when he took a closer look on Sirius' face. His gray eyes bored into his, expression a mixture of desperate and happy. Briefly, Remus let his eyes trace the rest of Sirius' face and noticed that his cheek bones, nose and jaw line was all more defined. His cheeks were less chubby, and his hair a bit longer. And of course had he probably grown a couple of centimeters, but Remus guessed he had as well since it still only differed about a centimeter between them still.

Remus felt a genuine smile tug on his lips when Sirius grinned at him, eyes watery. Remus wiped his wet cheeks on his sleeves when Sirius let go of his shoulders. Remus was just about to retrieve his trunk from the door when he saw Sirius position his right hand in the air between their waists. With a gasp Remus realized what he meant. The handshake.

They executed the handshake and deliberately let their hands stay clasped for a minute where they stared at them. Remus felt his heart jump when he could make out the ring on Sirius' middle finger. He still wore it.

"Is it my turn now?"

Remus let go of Sirius' hand in favor on turning his head to the side. He saw James standing next to him, face smug, arms reached out in front of him in anticipation of a hug. Remus rolled his eyes.

"Hi James. Hi Peter." Remus added when he saw that Peter walked up to wave at him next to James.

"Wait, I'm not going to receive a warm welcome as well? That was only for Padfoot?" James exclaimed over-dramatically.

"Yeah sorry. Moony's unique welcome-hugs are only for VIP's, and sadly you're not one of them." Sirius shrugged, mocking grin on his lips, before he reached out and ruffled James' birds nest of a hair.

"Have I missed something?" Peter suddenly asked the three of them. Remus shared a brief look with Sirius before he shook his head. Peter suspiciously darted his eyes from Remus, to James, to land at Sirius but he kept his questions for himself.

Remus gave Peter a look over and noticed that he'd grown some. He wasn't as chubby as before, and his face looked a tad less round, and next to him James was all edges. He was the tallest of them now and his lanky frame reached several centimeters over Remus. His face was more defined, but Remus thought he still looked much the same as before. He still wore the same rectangular glasses and his hair was just as messy.

Remus let his gaze wander to Sirius and this time he gave him a proper look over from top to bottom. He felt an excited smile splay on his lips when he saw that more than Sirius' face seemed to have grown. His arms looked stronger, and his appearance just seemed more mature. Well, at least Remus thought so. To Remus Sirius looked like the most beautiful person on earth.

As Remus gave Sirius one last look over a word popped up in his head; Casanova. That was what Sirius looked like; a beautiful, self-confident Casanova that easily could be called a heart stealer. After all, he had stolen Remus' heart already.

"It's so great you're back again Moony." James exclaimed before he aimed a pat on Remus' back, snapping him out of his thoughts.

"O-oh? How so?" Remus wondered if James was just being kind or if he actually had a reason for thinking so.

"Well first of all there's no marauder's without Moony. And secondly, we had to share the cabin with another Creevey brother last year. Can you imagine the dread of sharing a cabin with a first year? It was not cool!" James took a step back and then flung himself on Peter's bed.

"So great you're back." James huffed before he stretched out on the covers.

"I agree." Peter declared, his hand placed over his heart honestly.

"Certainly." Sirius spoke, making Remus turn his attention back to him.

After smiling gazing into Sirius' eyes for a minute or two Remus finally walked over to the door where he closed it. Then he retrieved his trunk and dragged it over to his wardrobe where he emptied the contents of it. He hadn't brought Teddy with him this time. For the first time he felt like he didn't need him so he'd left him at home.

"Teddy's at home?" He heard Sirius ask, probably having noticed Teddy's absence.

"Yeah." Remus spoke. He looked up at Sirius and smiled. "I don't need a teddy bear to feel safe anymore." He told Sirius honestly, and felt his heart jump when Sirius' expression changed into something tender.

"Me, me too." Sirius told him before he sat down on the floor next to Remus and took his hand. "Me too." He whispered again, eyes boring into Remus', making his heart beat out of his chest.

Blinking, Remus felt his entire body heat up. He felt heat radiate from Sirius' hand and he loved it. He saw Sirius slowly lean forward and Remus' chest almost hurt from the anticipation. Was Sirius going to kiss him again?

"You wanna head outside?"

Sirius immediately leaned back when he heard the loud voice from right behind them. Remus suppressed an irritated growl when he heard James' soft chuckle.

"You gonna sit there all day? Come on it's the first day back at the camp, there's probably no one outside yet. Let's go to the forest!" James exclaimed before he sat down on the floor and pressed his legs in between Remus' and Sirius'.

"Can't you see we're _busy_?" Remus warned. Didn't James understand he'd waited two years for this moment?

"Oh, you can pack up later. Or I could help you!" James grinned. At first he gave off a light air of happiness, but underneath that Remus could make out a smug expression and mischievous glint in his eyes. James knew exactly what he was doing.

Remus grunted. If he wanted to be alone with Sirius they would need to get rid of James, and probably Peter as well. Or sneak away from them.

"Hey, Wormy! Get over here and help Moony pack up, would you?" James shouted at Peter over his shoulder, making Remus' ears hurt.

When the four of them had emptied Remus' trunk and then shoved it in under the bed they headed outside for the forest. They climbed over the fence to the other side and then walked to their glade.

Well at the glade they caught up on lost time, and after an hour or so of talking James told them that now that they were fifth years they could do whatever they wanted. He told them the younger lads had to follow their every command and that the rules didn't apply for them anymore.

Remus rolled his eyes. As if rules ever applied to them.

James, Sirius and Peter told Remus that Lestrange and Nott were too old to go to the camp anymore but that Rosier and Snape still went every summer. Sirius told them that Regulus still went as well, even for the sole purpose of keeping an eye on Sirius.

As they lied there on the warm grass in the glade Remus let his fingers wander to Sirius' side. He felt his stomach do somersaults when Sirius took his hand and started tracing loose circles on his palm. He smiled giddy up at the clouds as he felt a comfortable shiver run down his spine.

None of them had mentioned the kiss yet, but Remus felt like it followed them around everywhere, like it hung in the air around them and just waited to be brought up. It had occupied Remus' mind for two years and he yearned for a moment to tell Sirius he liked him back. However, he didn't fancy doing so with James and Peter as their audience.

For the moment he was left to brush his fingers against Sirius and deliberately press their thighs together.

''''''''''

"Wormy, you keep watch by the door." James whispered when they closed the door to cabin 8 behind them. Peter looked like he was about to complain but after one stern glance from James he kept silent.

"Padfoot, you place the bedsheets on the floor." Sirius nodded before he walked over to Snape's bed and pulled the bedsheets on the floor.

"Moony, you help me remove all the lids now." Remus nodded and then reached for one of the four heavy buckets standing on the floor between them.

Yesterday Snape had snorted at Remus disrespectfully when they'd passed in the dining hall and James and Sirius had immediately started planning a 'brilliant' prank to teach Snape a lesson. Remus didn't like Snape, and despised him when he mocked him, but James and Sirius really seemed to _hate_ him, all the time.

Remus and Peter were left to help them execute the prank and here they were in the middle of cabin 8 with Peter keeping watch by the door and Remus opening the lids to the buckets filled with mud.

"Here's the one with Mrs. Norris poop in it!" James exclaimed with an evil laugh.

"Ew." Remus and Peter both complained, but their whines got lost in the loud chuckles coming from James and Sirius.

"This bucket of mud says it wants to be emptied over Snivellus' bedsheets, and I have to say that I think that's a great idea!" James chirped before he threw the lid on the floor and then dragged the bucket to the right side of the room.

When Sirius had thrown Snape and Rosier's bedsheets on the right side of the tape still dividing the cabin floor into two they got a course check from Peter before Remus, James and Sirius together lifted up the bucket with Mrs. Norris poop in it and emptied it over Snape's bedsheets.

Remus knew the poop were really only like a small piece of pebble, and knew that Snape probably deserved it after coughing evil comments to Remus every time they passed. But he still couldn't help but to scrunch up his nose it disgust. He hoped Snape and Rosier wouldn't copy the idea and do the same to their bedsheets.

When Snape's sheets were all wet and brown from the mud the three of them lifted another bucket and emptied it over Rosier's bedsheets. When they were covered they emptied the remaining two buckets all over the floor on the right side of the cabin and smeared it out.

"Perfect. They won't be able to make it to their beds without getting all dirty." James declared from where he wiped his hands on his trousers.

"I can only imagine their faces when they walk inside. Do you think we'll hear the shouts through the walls in our cabin?" Sirius asked as he aimed a high five at James.

"I bet their screams will reach the girl's camp by the other side of the lake!" James exclaimed before he high fived Sirius twice.

Remus walked around gathering the lids from the floor and placed them back on the buckets.

"Can we head back now?" Peter piped, looking scared. Perhaps he was afraid of accidentally missing someone approaching again like he had back in third year.

"Sure, wait, just got to take a picture." James fiddled with his trouser pockets for a second before he brought out his Polaroid camera. Remus watched as he took a picture of the muddy mess in front of them with a proud huff.

"Just wait. This will be the story Evans and my grandchildren will stand in line to hear one day. And then I'll show them this picture." James declared. Remus, Sirius and Peter all stayed silent. They knew better than to remind James of the fact that Lily wasn't particularly fond of him.

Peter opened the door and slipped outside. He stuck in a thumbs up when the course was clear and Remus, James and Sirius all trailed after him, empty buckets in their hands. James locked the cabin after them and then they took off for the lake. They cleaned the buckets in the water before they placed them by the bridge where they'd found them earlier.

Remus had some trouble deciding whether his bucket was clean or not. It was already getting dark outside, making it difficult to see inside big buckets.

However, he threw it next to the others and told himself it was probably clean. No one would care anyway, they had only seen Hagrid use them before and he wasn't known for caring about some dirt.

The four of them started heading back for their cabin, but as they reached the path Remus suddenly heard James shout.

"Last one back has to kiss Slughorn's butt!" He shouted playfully over his shoulder before he took off running at a fast pace. After a surprised squeak Peter followed him.

Remus looked to the side, expecting Sirius to run after them, but he didn't. Instead he smiled at Remus before he draped an arm over his shoulders. Remus felt his heart jump from the gesture, and feeling bold he lifted his own arm to wrap around Sirius' waist. He felt a shaky smile splay on his lips as they made their way up the path to their cabin.

When they walked by cabin 4 Remus could make out two running figures ahead of them who laughing flung open the door to cabin 7 and ran inside. The door slammed shut behind them, the sounds echoing over the silent grounds.

Remus and Sirius reached cabin 6 when Remus felt Sirius remove his arm from his shoulder and instead lower it to grip his hand in a firm handhold. Then Sirius yanked them past cabin 6 to the small alley in-between cabin 6 and 7.

Remus was about to ask Sirius what he was doing when he felt him let go of his hand and then wrap him up in a tight hug. Remus hugged back fiercely, buried his face against Sirius' neck. They stayed like that for a while, Remus rejoicing in the heat radiating from Sirius' body, until Sirius leaned back to look him in the eyes.

Sirius' lips erupted in a happy smile, his eyes glistening in the dim light of the darkening sky above them. Remus got lost in Sirius' eyes, and then felt his eyes flick to his lips as Sirius slowly leaned forward.

Remus heart jumped and his chest swirled with anticipation when he saw Sirius lean in closer. Remus closed his eyes and wrapped his arms around Sirius' waist just as their lips met.

Remus felt something sparkle in his chest, mixing with the warmth spreading there. His heart tried to beat out of his chest, and he felt a wonderful tingling sensation spread through his limbs. He kissed Sirius back fervently as he tightened his grip around his waist. Remus felt Sirius' hands cup his cheeks, thumbs caressing them, making Remus' skin break out in gooseflesh.

They broke the kiss momentarily to catch a breath before they leaned forward to kiss again. Remus parted his lips and felt a wave of pleasure hit his groin when he got a taste of the wet inner side of Sirius' lower lip.

Sirius hummed as he used his hands to try and press them tighter together. Remus felt his back collide with the wall behind him, and leaned against it as he let his hands swipe all over Sirius' back.

Remus held onto the kiss like his life depended on it. He felt one of Sirius' hands wander up to thread in his hair, and heard himself gasp when Sirius rubbed his scalp. He felt his his knees weaken and suddenly he struggled to stand upright.

He felt Sirius lean back, momentarily breaking the kiss, before he leaned forward to press a handful of smacking kisses on his lips as he released his cheek and hair and took a step back.

Remus panted from where he leaned against the wall. Without the support he was sure his knees would give up under him.

While he tried to catch his breath he let his tongue swipe over his lips, and smiled when he could taste Sirius on them. His body felt like it was on fire, he was sure his entire face was red, and his chest swirled with wonderful feelings. He'd just received the best kiss of his life.

Glancing up from where he had stared at his shoes Remus saw Sirius panting look over at him, proud grin on his lips. Remus felt his own smile turn into a grin as he looked at Sirius' red cheeks and slightly swollen lips. Remus felt proud. He'd done that to Sirius' lips.

"I like you." Remus breathed, chest heaving from a mixture of trying to catch his breath and nervous excitement.

"I like you a lot and if you don't mind I would like you to kiss me again." Remus blurted, feeling dizzy from being embarrassed over his confession. Though, he still hadn't told Sirius he was in love with him but he figured this was a good start. He'd finally got the chance to tell Sirius what he'd wanted to tell him for years.

"That's great because I'm planning on kissing you every opportunity I get from now on. And I want you to kiss me too, if that's alright with you." Sirius smiled at him. "Because I like you too." Sirius declared before he pressed a soft kiss on Remus' lips, making his heart melt from the love he felt for Sirius right then.

With a watery smile Remus gazed into Sirius' beautiful grey eyes. He tried to express his love with his eyes, but when he felt it wasn't enough he took initiative, leaned forward and pressed a quick but wonderful kiss on his lips.

Remus felt an uncontrollable giggle rise up in his throat. Suddenly the happiness he felt got too much to contain and he found himself alternating between giggling and laughing. Sirius grinned at him before he started laughing as well.

"You're too perfect Moony." Sirius breathed as he lifted his hand to ruffle Remus' hair.

"No, you," Remus giggled, making it sound like he didn't mean it, but he did. He thought Sirius was the most perfect human on earth and he wanted to spend every waking moment for the rest of his life like this; happy and together with Sirius.

"Moony? Padfoot?"

Remus and Sirius both snapped their heads to the side when they heard the significant voice of James Potter call for them.

With one last kiss they made their way along the wall, turned and reached the stairs leading up to the door where James stood. James jerked when he spotted them walking up the stairs. Remus felt another giggle escape him. They had scared James.

"Hey, where were you? We were getting worried!" James demanded, but Remus and Sirius only brushed past him as they headed for Remus' bed where they sat down next to each other.

"Have I missed something?" Peter asked them from where he munched on candy on top of his bed. Remus thought he stared at Remus and Sirius' thighs which lay pressed together.

"Nope." Sirius sang, making Remus break out in another giggling fit. He couldn't help it. He was too happy not to laugh at the moment, and he heard Sirius join him as well.

"What's so funny?" James demanded as he walked towards them after having closed the door behind them.

"You." Sirius joked before him and Remus broke out in a loud laughter. They leaned back on the bed and rolled around on it, hands wrapping around their stomach's as they hurt from their extensive laughing.

"I'm funny? I don't believe that last minute excuse. Come on, tell us where you were. Wormy here got all worried." James motioned for Peter with a sad expression, but Peter only scowled at him.

"No I didn't? You were the one running around the cabin in panic when they'd been gone for thirty seconds! I was the calm one. Don't proclaim anything else." Peter motioned a candy in the air in front of him, making Remus and Sirius laugh even more. Suddenly everything seemed so funny. It was impossible not to laugh.

"Alright! Perhaps I might have overreacted a bit, but still... What's so funny!?" James rubbed his temples in frustration. Then he crossed his arms as he waited for Remus and Sirius to calm down. When they kept rolling around on the bed James grew tired of waiting and walked over to play cards with Peter.

Remus and Sirius laughed until tears streamed down their cheeks, and then laughed some more. When Remus finally felt the giggles leave him he was exhausted.

Dizzy, he made his way over to James and Peter where he mumbled an apology for making them worry. Then he made his was back to his bed where Sirius had spread out his limbs and closed his eyes. Remus hauled him up into sitting position and then suggested they join James and Peter's card game. And after a shrug from Sirius they made their way over to Peter's bed where they joined the game.

''''''''''

Remus rolled around on his bed, too excited to fall asleep yet. He'd curled into a ball and pressed his knees to his chest while he let his mind wander back on the kisses he'd shared with Sirius only hours ago. He felt giddy with happiness, and he never wanted the feeling to fade.

He pressed his mouth to the pillow. Then he let out a loud, happy shriek of happiness. He felt it pooling in his chest, overwhelming him with the sudden lust to jump up and run countless of laps around the room.

He was sure the others had fallen asleep already, and glancing over to James and Peter's side of the room he thought he could both see and hear them sleep. Remus flung his head back against the pillow with a happy sigh.

Then he heard something.

Remus jerked when he heard a loud creaking sound, and first he thought Snape or someone was breaking in through their locked door. Then he saw Sirius bare feet appear on the ladder and he relaxed. It wasn't a thief. It was Sirius.

He watched Sirius climb down the ladder and then adjust his clothes as he reached the floor. He turned to face Remus with a mischievous smile before he made his way over, sat down on the edge of the bed and reached out an arm to brush over Remus' cheek.

Remus felt his heart jump, stomach flutter at the touch. With a nervous smile he lifted his own hand to place it on top of Sirius' hand. He saw Sirius' smile turn soft, making his heart swell.

"Can I climb in?" Sirius whispered, but before Remus had time to answer Sirius had already lifted the covers and climbed down. Remus scooted over to make space for him, but found he didn't need to since Sirius immediately wrapped his arms and legs around Remus, who did the same. Remus felt the heat radiate from Sirius body, and he loved the feel of Sirius' naked feet brushing against his.

Remus hugged Sirius close to his body. Feeling bold he even inhaled a big breath of the skin on Sirius' neck, not caring if Sirius noticed anymore. He pressed his head against Sirius' neck, hugged their chests tightly together, as their legs tangled together as well.

Suddenly Sirius turned them over so that he lay on top of Remus whose cheeks blushed when he realized Sirius was straddling him. He felt Sirius lean back before they gazed into each other's eyes for a moment. Then Sirius leaned down to press a kiss on his lips.

Remus felt his heart jump, head sing, as his skin danced from the feel of Sirius' wonderful lips on his own. He gripped Sirius' pajama top as he felt Sirius' hands swipe over his hair and cheek.

Sirius parted his lips, deepening the kiss, making Remus get a better taste of him. Remus parted his own lips some as well, and immediately felt his arms raise gooseflesh and the tingling sensation overwhelm him. He felt like he was melting. He loved it.

Remus reluctantly broke the kiss when he was out of air. He leaned his forehead against Sirius' as he caught his breath, leaving them nose to nose. Remus could feel Sirius' rapid heartbeat matching his own through their pressed foreheads. Sirius panted above him, breathing out hot air on Remus' lips.

Remus felt Sirius move his head to the juncture between his shoulder and neck and first thought he was tired and planned on falling asleep when he felt something new.

"Ah," Remus heard himself gasp when he felt Sirius press his moist lips against his neck. Sirius planted a trail of kisses on his skin before Remus felt him stop at a spot on close to his collarbone. Sirius kissed that spot more vigorously, and when he heard Remus' breath quicken he sucked on it.

" _Sirius_ ," Remus gasped involuntarily as a spark of arousal hit his groin. He felt a wave of pleasure follow it, and he suddenly became aware of the powerful desire he felt building up from within him.

Sirius let go of the abused skin for a moment, but only to immediately kiss and then suck at another spot, closer to Remus' ear. He felt Sirius suck on it, making him squirm and pant from where he lay beneath Sirius.

"Ah," He panted again when he felt Sirius hum against him. Then he felt something hot and wet swipe over the sensitive skin, his tongue, Remus realized, making him bite his lip to suppress a moan. His whole body felt like it was on fire, and his heart beat echoed in his ears along with the sloppy sounds of Sirius kissing, sucking and licking his neck.

Remus had never thought kissing could feel this good. Or that anyone kissing a mere neck could feel this good. Sirius turned him into a panting mess, left to simply wriggle around in pleasure on the bed.

Remus felt Sirius kiss his way along his jaw, making a powerful shiver run down his spine as he struggled not to make any inappropriate sounds. He felt Sirius' lips settle on top of his ear before he pressed a set of kisses on it.

"You like it when I kiss your neck...?" Sirius whispered close to his ear, making Remus shiver again. He took a second to pull himself together when he heard the honesty in Sirius' question.

"Yes. A lot. Or actually, I- I think I l-love it..." Remus piped, suddenly afraid Sirius was going to judge about it. But he didn't. Instead he leaned back to smile at Remus, eyes glistening with happiness and lips swollen from the extensive kissing.

"Good. 'Cause I plan to do it a lot." Sirius whispered, voice cocky, earning him a playful jab from Remus who found himself grinning.

Sirius gaze lowered to stare at Remus lips, and Remus found himself stare at Sirius lips. Remus wrapped his arms around Sirius' back and then pulled him in for a passionate kiss. He felt Sirius part his lips instantly, Remus doing the same. They kissed with fervor, lips pressing, moving and sliding over each other. Remus guided his right hand up Sirius' back until it nestled in Sirius' smooth hair. He curled his fingers in it and rejoiced when he felt Sirius shiver above him.

Remus felt Sirius shift above him. He didn't think much about it until he felt something press between his legs, making him break the kiss in favor of moaning against Sirius' lips. He realized Sirius must have positioned one of his legs between Remus', and he half expected Sirius to move it. But he didn't.

Instead Remus felt as Sirius, while voicing small groans, slowly pressed his thigh against Remus' groin again, making him gasp and tighten his grip on Sirius' back and hair. Sirius let slip a moan when Remus' clenched fist pulled at his hair.

Remus felt Sirius press his leg down again, before he started rubbing it against Remus' groin in a steady rhythm. Remus' eyebrows furrowed from his effort not to moan out loud again. He could feel his cock growing harder by the second.

When he felt a wave of desire wash over him he spread his legs wider. Then he tentatively lifted his hips to better meet Sirius' leg. The new position resulted in the both of them panting and voice small whines from where they lay pressed forehead to forehead.

Remus felt his mind go dizzy and the only thing he could focus on was Sirius above him. He felt Sirius capture his lips again, and Remus kissed him back with fervor.

"Hello?"

Remus froze. He broke the kiss and snapped his head around worriedly. Who'd said that?

"Hello? Is someone awake?"

Peter.

Remus cursed under his breath and heard Sirius do the same. In the middle of the room stood Peter with his hands on his hips as he squinted around the room, probably trying to see who'd woken him up. Remus felt a mixture of embarrassed and amused when he realized Peter had probably woken up from the creaking of the bed and moans coming from Remus and Sirius' side of the room.

"Quick!" Remus hissed to Sirius before he pushed him down under the covers, successfully hiding him from the world. Remus placed his spare pillow over Sirius' head just for good emphasis. He heard Sirius chuckle from where he hid underneath the covers and aimed him a light kick in the side, only resulting in him chuckling more.

"What was that?" Peter asked.

Remus closed his eyes against the pillow and feigned sleep, but opening his eyes briefly he saw Peter make his way over to his bed, still half asleep. Remus heard Sirius chuckle under the covers again and he aimed another kick at him, but felt his lips curl into a smile as well.

"What was that? Were you laughing?" Peter asked drowsily when he reached Remus' bed.

"What? Wormtail is that you? You woke me up..." Remus groaned. Then he yawned into his hand. He hoped he could chase Peter away by complaining about him waking him up.

"No. I heard you laugh just then. You woke _me_ up." Peter tried to sound stern but failed when he sleepily stumbled on the floor.

"Oh, I had a really funny dream. Perhaps I laughed in my sleep or something. Who knows? Might've been the funniest dream to date, but I'll never get the chance to relive it again because you woke me up." Remus tried to make his voice sound sleepy and annoyed, but it was difficult when his chest felt like it was about to burst from happiness. Also, Sirius positively made the bed vibrate from suppressed laughter.

"Oh bugger. I'm going back to bed." Peter mumbled to the inside of his eyelids before he stumbling made his way back to his bed. He fell on top of it and was out within a second. Remus sighed in relief. Peter had been too tired to notice the abnormal bulge under his covers.

"He's gone now." Remus whispered before he threw back the cover, revealing a snickering Sirius. Remus slammed his hand over his mouth not to laugh out loud at the scene. Sirius was all red in the face, and really sweaty from the humid air under the cover.

Sirius climbed up from his hiding spot and positioned himself next to Remus. They smiled at each other for a while, and then Sirius wrapped his arms around Remus in a warm hug.

"Think it's best to hit sleep soon. Don't want to risk waking Wormtail up again, or worse; wake up Prongs." Remus whispered. He thought he heard Sirius exhale disappointedly, and Remus felt the same. But at the same time he thought they might have gone too far too quickly. Remus still wanted to be sure Sirius really wanted the same thing as he did after all.

He loved Sirius immensely, but still thought they would do best in continuing another time. Preferably somewhere where they could be alone and not risk waking up two easily offended roommates.

At least that's what Remus told himself as he tried to ignore his pulsating member. He was still hard, but at least the need to do something about it wasn't as intense as before Peter interrupted them. Remus thought he could survive the night, and if he didn't, well, then he might just slip into the bathroom really quick.

Though, he didn't think he would be able to release himself from Sirius' bear hug even if his life depended on it. It was too comfortable.

"Yeah, good night Moony." Sirius mumbled to Remus neck before he pressed one final kiss to Remus' lips.

"Night Padfoot." Remus breathed with a content smile.

It wasn't until he heard Sirius' breathing slow down as he fell asleep next to him that Remus remembered they were in the same bed. He wondered if he should wake Sirius up to chase him away to his own bed, not wanting to face James and Peter's uncomfortable questions in the morning if they found them tangled together before they woke up. But when he let his eyes wander to Sirius calm, sleeping face he decided against it.

Him and Sirius could always wake up first, or they could make up some last minute excuse.

Remus gazed at Sirius until he felt his eyelids close and he fell asleep.


	18. Secret

Remus awoke with a gasp.

He snapped his head from side to side, trying to locate the loud banging that woke him up. Then he realized it came from the door.

Someone was trying to break inside!

"Sirius!" Remus rustled Sirius awake by his shoulders.

"What is it?" Sirius mumbled, eyes confused as he stared up at Remus.

"I think there's someone outside trying to break in!" Remus hissed just as the door shook from another bang. Remus realized the loud sounds were actually someone knocking.

"We're coming inside now!" Someone shouted from outside the door.

"What the hell?" Sirius mumbled as he jumped up from the bed. He made it halfway up the ladder when the door slammed open, revealing Slughorn, Filch, Rosier and Snape. The four of them stormed into the room with Slughorn in tow.

Remus startled. He blinked at them. What were they doing here in the middle of the night? Or was it still night? Remus looked at the clock on his nightstand table. It was seven in the morning. That explained the early morning sun shining through the thin curtains of their window.

"It was them!" Rosier bellowed when he'd walked into the room, index finger pointing straight at Remus, making him press deeper into his mattress.

"They did it. There's no doubt about it." Snape filled in from where he snarled at Remus. Remus grimaced as he lifted the covers up to cover him up to his nose. He heard Sirius bed creak above him and thought he'd probably climbed under his covers by now.

"What are you on about, Snivellus? And what are you doing in _our_ cabin? Got lost trying to find yours?" Sirius spat from the bed above, making Snape send a death glare his way.

"I'm sure you know exactly what I'm talking about, Black. This time you lot won't walk without a punishment." Snape snarled at him.

Remus darted his eyes to Slughorn when he cleared his throat from where he'd positioned himself next to Snape.

"These two young gentlemen just woke me and Filch here up proclaiming that the inhabitants of cabin number 7, ehm, smeared 'mud' all over their cabin floor yesterday. Apparently young Mister Rosier and Snape had to spend the night sleeping on the hard floor, and didn't come to get me until after I'd gotten a full night's sleep. So very thoughtful of them, yeah?" Slughorn patted Rosier's back, making Remus feel the urge to vomit. Slughorn was just too easily persuaded.

"As I said they told me you are the culprits for this odd little, ehm, _prank_. Is it true? Did you, I quote, 'smear mud all over the floor on their side of the room, along with their bedsheets'?" Slughorn asked Remus who was the easiest target considering Sirius was hidden in his top bunk and James and Peter still were asleep.

"...No. Sir." Remus piped after a beat of silence. He felt his face redden when Rosier and Snape glared at him.

"He's lying." Rosier stated, lips curling as he glared at him haughtily.

"Are you?" Slughorn asked Remus, looking confused. Behind him stood Filch grunting about something and Remus wondered why they'd tagged him along.

"He's not, sir. I don't know what Rosier and Snivellus are talking about." Sirius answered them, voice determined.

"Don't call me that." Snape spat as he sent another death glare at Sirius. Remus tried to hide himself under his covers. This circus could only end in disaster.

"Do you have any proof it was them?" Slughorn asked Rosier who immediately slammed his hand over his chest, looking offended.

"We _know_ it was them. Isn't that proof enough? Sir?" Rosier demanded.

"Sadly, no. We need more than your proclaimed knowledge that it was them. And isn't your cabin locked when you're not there? How could they've got inside?" Slughorn chuckled, resulting in Rosier's face turning a weird shade of red.

"These locks are only for show. Everyone knows a five years old could break through them!" Rosier shouted as he let his temper get the better of him.

"Mister Rosier! Don't direct that tone to me!" Slughorn gasped. Remus rolled his eyes. This wasn't going anywhere.

"Am I getting to punish any culprits or not? I don't have all morning." Filch muttered to Slughorn who seemed to panic from the stress.

"We're innocent!" Sirius declared at the same time Rosier exclaimed "They're guilty!"

Slughorn adjusted his collar. Remus thought he could see him sweat from the pressure of having to come to a decision. Slughorn really despised having to deliver justice. He was the type who prepared to act like everything was fine rather than dealing with the issue.

"What's going on- wait, _Snivellus_!?"

Remus sighed. James had woken up.

"Please Mister Potter, try to be silent. I'm taking a very important decision over here." Slughorn muttered as he jabbed a finger in the air warningly.

"Is the cabin on fire again?" Remus heard Peter mumble in his sleep. He'd woken up as well.

"Ah!" Peter squeaked when he opened his eyes and saw the four intruders stand in the middle of their cabin.

"I get the feeling I'm wasting my time." Remus heard Filch mutter to Slughorn before he turned around and headed for the door. Slughorn panicked flicked his eyes from Rosier and then back to Filch just as he walked out of the door, leaving Slughorn with the six boys.

"Well, ehm..." Slughorn said before he staged a chuckle as he patted himself on his ever growing stomach. "I guess we're done here, or...?" He trailed off as he slowly took a step back.

"No? Sir! We're telling you, they're guilty! You have to punish them!" Rosier demanded, hit feet stomping on the floor. Snape agreed with him and let one of his feet stomp on the floor as well.

Slughorn stared at them with a pained expression. He looked cornered and Remus thought he could make out a sheen of sweat covering his forehead.

"Sir, please! They're lying. We're innocent!" Sirius told him with a serious voice, almost begging, and when James got what they were on about he joined in as well.

"Sir, Slughorn, please. We didn't do nothing!" He pleaded before he climbed down his ladder, walked up to Slughorn and then did a set of well-practiced puppy-dog-eyes.

Remus heard the bed above him creak as Sirius made his way down. He joined James by the door, and soon Peter had walked up to them as well. The three of them all told Slughorn they were innocent while Rosier and Snape only grew angrier.

"Enough!" Slughorn shouted suddenly, when the five boys had cornered him to stand pressed up against the door.

"Enough. I think it's horrible how someone's probably broken into your cabin, Mister Rosier and Snape, but without proof it was Mister Black, Lupin, Pettigrew and Potter I can't punish them. Sorry." Slughorn told them, but Remus didn't think he looked particularly sorry. He looked relieved; relieved he didn't have to come to a decision. So typically Slughorn to avoid problems at all times.

"But-" Rosier and Snape shouted before they were interrupted by Slughorn.

"No! No but's. These are my final words and you need to follow them. If you happen to find any proof you are welcomed to visit me in my office again, but then preferably not in the middle of the morning." Slughorn exclaimed before he turned around and placed his hand on the door handle.

"With that said I think we're finally done here. See you later boys!" Slughorn nodded at them before he opened the door to help Rosier and Snape out. The both of them glared at Slughorn viciously as they passed him by. Then Slughorn closed the door after them and they were gone.

"What was that?" Sirius breathed. Remus watched as he walked over to his bed and sat down on it. He rubbed his temples while he yawned.

"They couldn't find any proof it was us. We're too good!" James laughed before he high fived a yawning Peter who made his way back to his bed to sleep some more.

"I'm so tired." Peter complained. "I woke up in the middle of the night as well." He groaned. Remus felt his cheeks heat up and he flicked his gaze to share a mischievous smile with Sirius. If Peter only know what had woken him up...

"Hey, what's that?" James asked as he frowning made his way over to Remus' bed.

"What do you mean?" Remus asked him from where he'd sat up on the bed and positioned himself next to Sirius.

"What's _that_?" James asked as he reached Remus. He pointed at Remus with his index finger, making him frown. He was about to ask what James was on about when he saw James' lips curl into a smirk.

"Is that a... _hickey_?"

Remus' froze. His eyes widened and as he followed the direction James' finger pointed at he realized it was his neck. Quickly, Remus snapped his hands up to search the skin there. With a small gasp he felt the bumps of three hickeys on his neck and throat.

The memories of last night came rushing back to him and he felt his entire face redden as he thought back on the memory of Sirius' kissing, licking and sucking his neck.

He flung himself head-first on his bed and wrapped his covers around him, desperately trying to cover the hickeys. He heard Sirius snicker under his hand and aimed a light kick at him, but it only made him laugh more.

"Moony... I never would've expected you to get a hickey overnight like that," James trailed off, sounding surprised.

"I-It's n-not what you think." Remus sputtered into his pillow.

"It's not? If you didn't receive the hickeys from someone sucking on your neck please let me know as I'm awfully interested to know how you got them." James sang before he ruffled Remus' hair, making him groan into the pillow. He felt like his face was steaming embarrassment.

"Padfoot what's so funny? Do you perhaps know how Mister Moony here got his hickeys?" James asked Sirius cheerfully.

"Sod off, grass eater." Remus guessed Sirius shoved James since he heard James huff.

"Tell me, what were _you_ doing last night?" James sang to Sirius.

"None of your business." Sirius sang back, voice high pitched as he tried to make fun of James' cheerfulness.

"Were you perhaps... kissing Moony?" James asked with an overdramatical gasp. Remus buried his face deeper in his pillow. Could it get more embarrassing?

"Can you lot be quiet? I'm trying to sleep over here!" Came Peter's irritated voice before Sirius had any time to answer James.

"All for you Wormy!" James sang before he shh'ed Sirius, making him growl at him.

"I'll stop the questioning for now. But I have to admit that I'm still awfully curious about Moony's hickeys. Though, it can wait. I'll find out eventually anyway." James whispered to them before he jabbed a finger in Remus' shoulder, making him lift a hand to push him away from him.

Remus listened to James' fading footsteps, and then to the creaking of a ladder until he dared opening his eyes. He came face to face with Sirius who'd crouched down on the floor by his bed.

"Don't worry about him. He's an idiot." Sirius whispered before he reached out a hand to brush back Remus' fringe.

"I guess." Remus shrugged. He felt himself relax under Sirius determined but kind gaze.

"See you later." Sirius winked at him, making a giddy smile splay on his lips. Then Sirius rose up and walked over to his ladder and climbed up to his bed.

''''''''''

"Great! I hope Evans will be there!" James exclaimed happily.

"Why wouldn't she?" Sirius asked as he feigned interest in James' Lily-frenzying.

They headed for the main building where Hagrid had put up a TV against the outside wall. Slughorn had invited the girl's camp over for a movie night 'under the stars' and many of the boys vibrated from excitement of getting to know the girls better. James was one of them. Remus wasn't.

Remus double checked that the collar of the turtle neck sweater he'd borrowed from Sirius covered his hickeys on their way to the main building. Peter had asked him about his peculiar choice of attire but Remus had waved his question away and stayed silent, too embarrassed to make up any last minute excuses.

When they reached the main building they saw the TV screen on the wall, and under it blankets and pillows they were supposed to sit on during the movie.

The four of them searched for a good spot when Remus heard the faint sounds of girl giggles. Sighing he looked up just in time to see the door open up to reveal tons of girls clad in short skirts and shorts. Remus couldn't care less about them.

Remus forced a proper smile on his lips as he along with the other boys greeted the girls welcome. When he spotted Lily he walked up to her and they did their handshake, but then she was gone to find a seat with her friends. Remus walked back to Sirius who draped an arm over his shoulders possessively.

"Hurry, we need to find seats next to Evans before it's too late!" James hissed before he dragged Peter with him and disappeared in the crowd of campers. Remus and Sirius trailed after them in their own pace, trying to ignore the fuss around them as boys flushed, sputtered and coughed as they got nervous from the arriving of the ladies.

They caught up to James and Peter just as they sat down next to Lily and her friends. James ruffled his hair before he tried to flirt with her, resulting in her scowling at him before she turned her back at him.

Remus and Sirius sat down on the pillows and blankets on the line behind James and Sirius. They sat in the furthest back of the lines, which fitted Remus perfectly as he planned to not-so-discreetly cling to Sirius the entire evening, and hopefully even get to cradle up in his lap.

Remus watched as the boys and girls all got seated in front of them. Then he watched as Slughorn, McGonagall and their closest personnel walked outside to greet the campers welcome.

Slughorn carried a box filled with different movies, but to everyone's immediate disappointment he'd only brought animated Disney movies.

"That's bullshit! Those are only kids' movies!" Someone shouted, and to Remus' immediate horror he realized it was James.

Remus shoved James' back and scolded him for his foul language, but then he heard Sirius join in and he stopped trying. It was too late to try and teach them any manners.

After Slughorn pleaded for the many loud campers to calm down he asked them what movies they would like to watch out of the bunch. Remus heard the majority of the girls shout 'Sleeping Beauty' while the majority of the boys shouted for 'Peter Pan'.

However, since Slughorn sucked on taking decisions he shouted that he would randomly select a movie instead. And after rummaging through the box while looking up at the sky he brought out a movie; they were going to watch 'Robin Hood'.

If Remus was being honest he didn't mind that. The movie was still fairly new since it came out '73, and he hadn't seen it yet. Perhaps the movie night would be more fun than he'd initially thought.

As they waited for the movie to start Remus looked around them. On the far right corner he spotted Regulus sitting next to a bunch of older boys. With a frown Remus realized he sat next to Rosier and _Snape_. Remus made a mental note not to relay that information to Sirius since he was bound to get himself riled up when he saw his brother hang around the greasy git.

When the movie started Remus leaned back on his arms, but only momentarily as Sirius wrapped an arm around him and pulled them closely together. Remus smiled when he felt the right side of his body press against Sirius'.

He leaned his head on Sirius' shoulder and got himself comfortable. After checking no one was looking their way Remus even dared press a swift kiss to Sirius' cheek. In response he felt Sirius' hand swipe down to squeeze his waist, making him shift as he got tickling.

"Stop," Remus meant to whisper but it came out as a low chuckle. Sirius pressed his face against Remus' hair and Remus felt him deliver a soft kiss to it before his hand squeezed Remus' waist once more, making him squeak.

Remus slammed his hands over his mouth when he saw James look over his shoulder, keeping an eye on them. James gave Sirius, who'd let go of Remus' waist and hair and sat up straight again, an odd quizzing look. It looked as if James was reading him, and then he got a smug smirk on his lips.

"Are you having fun?" James asked, and then winked at Remus who rolled his eyes at him.

"We were until you interrupted." Remus whispered, not caring about James hurt look.

"Thanks. I love you too." James spat, seemingly hurt, but Remus could still make out the playful undertone. James was such a diva, very much like the one sitting next to Remus.

Sirius snorted and gave James a pat on the back before he finally turned around. Remus relaxed and leaned on Sirius again. He saw James slowly inch his way closer to Lily in front of him, but she noticed it and inched a few centimeters to the side as well. Though, Remus had to say he thought Lily actually seemed to warm up to James. She hadn't shouted at him yet, and she didn't look quite as disgusted by him. In fact Remus thought Lily had smiled at James three times already. It was great progress for her.

Nearing the end of the film Remus found that he liked it. He didn't usually like to watch animated movies, but he liked the concept of this one. He liked Robin Hood and how he stood up for the less fortunate and dared to steal money from the king and give to the poor. Sure, it was a bit of a cliché but still, it made for an interesting plot, and something told him it would be considered a classic in the future.

Remus yawned and then climbed up Sirius' lap. He smiled when he felt Sirius wrap his arms around him and then reach for a blanket he wrapped around them. The night was chilly but Remus didn't freeze since Sirius warmed him up with his close proximity.

Remus let his eyes wander to the dark sky. He guessed it was around eleven considering he already could make out the stars above them. He smiled when he spotted big dipper and briefly let his mind wander to the wish he'd made four years ago. If only he'd been able to see himself now; sitting on Sirius' lap watching a movie with his friends. Then he'd probably felt more reassured.

He snuggled closer to Sirius when he felt him swipe his hand over his back. Remus let his eyes wander back to the TV, but flicked his gaze to its right when he saw a white-bearded man pass by it.

Dumbledore.

Remus stared at him. He hadn't seen Dumbledore for a while and now he wondered why. What was he doing all the time? Why was he so busy?

Remus trailed him with his eyes as he made his way past the TV to reach for a pillow on the ground. He brushed off some dirt from it and Remus expected the old man to sit down, but he didn't. Instead he suddenly straightened his posture and looked around. Remus felt his heart jump when he looked straight at Remus.

Had he felt him staring?

Remus looked Dumbledore in the eyes. He was just about to look away when he saw something peculiar. Dumbledore gave him a knowing smile, and then nodded at him approvingly. Remus squinted at him, feeling off track. Then Dumbledore did something even odder. He _winked._

Remus gaped. He blinked twice, but Dumbledore was still there, smiling at him mysteriously. Almost as if he knew something he didn't. Had he perhaps found out he was in love with Sirius?

Remus kept staring at Dumbledore, the movie long forgotten. He saw the man nod at him again. Then he watched as Dumbledore lifted his right arm before he tapped his index finger against his wrist. _Time_ , Remus realized. Dumbledore motioned time was ticking.

Remus shook his head. What did he mean? Why was he doing all these odd gestures to _Remus_? Suddenly Remus wondered if his eyes were playing tricks on him since it was so odd for Dumbledore to behave like that, so he rubbed them.

When he opened them he felt himself gasp.

Dumbledore was gone.

''''''''''

After the weird incident with Dumbledore Remus had lost interest in the movie. He'd watched it to the end but he just couldn't drop the mystery about Dumbledore.

Sirius asked him what's the matter, and as soon as the movie finished Remus led him away from the mess of boy and girl campers and explained what he'd seen. Sirius believed him but thought it was just as odd as Remus did.

Then Remus remembered he'd seen Dumbledore disappear one time before, and when James and Peter joined them and heard the story James reminded them of the time back in first year when he'd trailed Dumbledore and seen him disappear as well. The four of them shared theories with each other. Were they seeing things? Was Dumbledore a ghost? Was Dumbledore a wizard?

They discussed the mystery of Dumbledore for a good half hour until James told them he wanted to hung some more with Lily. By now Hagrid had lit the bonfire, and most of the campers had sat down around it.

Remus watched as James dragged a reluctant Peter with him to the bonfire where they pressed themselves down on a seat next to Lily. Remus felt bad for Peter. He looked tired and had probably planned to go back to the cabin and hit sleep. But oh well. At least it was Peter crammed next to James and not Remus, he thought selfishly.

"Want to head back to the cabin?" Sirius asked and when Remus turned around to face him he saw Sirius wink at him suggestively. Remus got the message.

"Sure." He smiled at Sirius.

He felt his chest bubble with anticipation as Sirius took his hand and lead them along the path from the main building to the cabins. When they reached cabin 7 Remus felt like his chest would explode from excitement.

They had the cabin for themselves.

James and Peter weren't going to disturb them. They weren't going to find out.

Remus and Sirius still kept their relationship secret. But it was really only because it was still so fresh; they had barely got time to get used to it themselves. And even though they kept it hidden Remus wouldn't mind James or Peter knowing. It was just the whole 'reveal' thing that seemed complicated. Remus wasn't sure how to best tell them he was gay and in love with their other mate who he'd hooked up with.

And something told him James and Peter would overreact. James because they hadn't told him earlier, Peter because he'd have a hard time processing the fact they didn't fancy girls. Remus liked Peter a lot, but he knew he wasn't the most accepting out of the lot.

Sirius opened the door for him and then closed it behind them when he'd walked inside as well. Feeling jittery with excitement Remus walked over to his bed and sat down on it. He smiled when Sirius sat down next to him.

Remus gazed into Sirius' grey eyes for a moment before he felt himself leaning forward, capturing Sirius' lips with his own. They pressed their lips tightly together, and Remus relished in the feeling of Sirius' lips pressing, pushing and sliding over his own.

Then he felt something different.

Remus gasped when he felt Sirius swipe his tongue over his lower lip. Remus felt like he'd got struck by a lightning since a powerful shot of electricity surged through his body.

He parted his lips some more when he felt the tongue pry entrance, and then let slip a small moan when he felt the hot, wet tongue snake its way into his mouth.

Remus met Sirius' tongue with his own. And as they slid their tongues against each other Remus lifted his hands to thread in Sirius' hair, and he felt Sirius wrap his arms behind his neck, while tilting his head to deepen the kiss further.

Remus felt his chest swirl with wonderful emotions. And as he heard Sirius breathe, and occasionally moan, against him he felt the heat steadily build up in his groin, and soon he was overwhelmed by a new sort of desire. He felt a _hunger_ for Sirius.

They broke the kiss for a second to gaze into each other's eyes desperately, but then Sirius leaned forward to kiss Remus again. The kiss was sloppy, urgent and desperate as it soon turned into a mess of lips, teeth and tongue.

Remus felt Sirius swipe his hands all over his back, and as the heat from the kiss threatened to make Remus go crazy with desire he absentmindedly moved his hands to the front of Sirius' shirt. He started working on the first button when he remembered something.

Sirius' scars.

Remus stopped what he was doing and broke the kiss. All he wanted to do was to rip the shirt off Sirius, feel his bare chest under his hands, but he couldn't just do that since he knew Sirius had scars. But then he remembered he'd seen Sirius swim topless countless of times.

Remus shook his head. He interpreted his own fear of Sirius seeing his own scars on him. Remus was the one reluctant to remove his clothes. Not Sirius.

"Want me to take my shirt off?" He heard Sirius whisper, and looking up Remus saw Sirius look at him with a fond smile.

"Y-you don't have to," Remus stuttered.

"But I want to." Sirius aimed Remus a wink before he quickly loosened his buttons and threw the shirt on the floor next to the bed. Remus stared at the bare chest in front of him. It looked perfect, or well, everything having to do with Sirius Remus thought was perfect.

Remus was just about to reach out a hand and place it over Sirius' heart to find out if his heart was beating as furiously as Remus' when he felt Sirius tug at one of his sleeves.

"Want to remove yours?" Sirius whispered as his hand tugged on Remus' sleeve once more.

Suddenly feeling self-conscious about his body Remus' cheeks heated in shame and he lowered his gaze to stare at the floor.

"You know that I know that you know I have scars right? And you know I know you have scars as well? I saw them back in first year, remember...?" Sirius placed his hand on Remus' chin, angling his head up.

Remus tried to catch up with the words Sirius was saying. He got lost among all the 'I's and 'you's.

"Why don't you remove your shirt - if you still want to - and then I'll tell you some about my family. I know you want to know how I got mine." Sirius aimed a soft kiss on Remus' cheek before he lowered his hand from Remus' chin to let it lie in his lap.

When Remus had processed what Sirius was saying he felt himself startle.

"Did you say family? What do you mean 'family'? Did they give you the scars?" Remus demanded, suddenly feeling a burning protectiveness flare in his chest. Had Sirius family hurt him?

Sirius tugged on Remus' sleeve again. "Take it off and I'll tell you. And you don't need to feel self-conscious, I already like you and I've seen your scars once already. They won't scare me away." Sirius spoke honestly, making Remus' heart swell with love for him.

Remus nodded before he tentatively removed the turtle neck. It was the first time in years he'd showed his bare chest for anyone. He even ducked mirrors when he was naked, not wanting to face his scarred chest himself.

When Remus glanced back at Sirius after having discarded the shirt on the floor he found Sirius staring at his chest. Remus immediately flew his arms and hands up to cover himself, but lowered them again when Sirius smiled at him reassuringly.

"There's nothing to worry about. I think you're beautiful." He spoke softly, making Remus voice a small whimper as his heart jumped with love for Sirius. He didn't know whether to feel confused by the fact Sirius apparently had something wrong with his vision, or if he should feel overjoyed by the fact Sirius found him beautiful.

He decided on the latter.

"Come here." Sirius mumbled before he wrapped his arms around Remus who proceeded to press soft kisses on Sirius' cheek as a thank you. Remus felt Sirius lower them down to lay on their sides on the bed, and Remus felt his stomach flutter from the feeling of their naked chests pressing together.

Remus let one of his hands wander down Sirius' back, searching for the scars he knew were there. He let his fingers wander the skin for a moment before he found them. They seemed smaller than four years ago, but they still shouldn't be there. They shouldn't taint Sirius fair skin.

"Alright. So do you want to hear some more about my family? I've never told this to anyone, you know." Sirius' eyebrows furrowed and Remus guessed he remembered unpleasant memories.

"Please tell me." Remus swiped his hand up and down Sirius' back reassuringly. "I want to know everything about you." He whispered, and panicked for a second when he thought he'd said too much. But when Sirius pulled him close for another kiss he knew he hadn't.

When they broke the kiss Sirius closed his eyes and took a deep breath. Remus felt his heart jump with anticipation. Was he finally going to know the secret behind Sirius' scars?

"I'm raised in a very, ehm, _special_ family as you might've figured out already. They're all about bloodlines, tradition and stuff. They love to snarl at each other, talk behind people's backs and just generally try to appear 'better' than others." Sirius started. Remus patted his shoulder reassuringly.

"Growing up I noticed early on that I didn't agree with their ways. I didn't want to attend the boring dinner parties where I was supposed to brag in front of my cousins. I didn't want to compare myself with my brother and try to be better than him in everything. And I definitely didn't want to be thought about as 'just another Black'." Sirius snorted. Remus understood Sirius was getting upset.

"Walburga of course noticed I was different early on, so she set Kreacher after me; punishing me for being different became their favorite hobby. Mine became trying to hide from them." Sirius shook his head defeatedly.

"That's how I got the scars. Walburga used to advice Kreacher to deliver the punishments to areas not often visible to spectators. That way they could hurt me and get away with it since no one saw the scars." Sirius sighed sadly. Remus lifted his hand to stroke his cheek, then brush his fringe back from his forehead.

"I'm so sorry. But honored you told me." Remus whispered before he kissed the tip of Sirius' nose, finally bringing the smile back to his lips.

"It's not your fault. And they almost never hurt me anymore, not when I'm off to boarding school and summer camp. I'm not home long enough for them to punish me." Sirius probably thought he was reassuring, but Remus felt a growing lump of worry in his chest.

Were these people _still_ hurting Sirius?

"Wait... Sirius. Who exactly are these Walburga and Kreacher people?" Remus asked carefully. Was Sirius going to answer him?

"Er," Sirius coughed once to buy him time. Remus could see the topic made him uncomfortable, but he wanted to know so he urged him on by swiping his hand up and down his back again.

"Kreacher's our butler." Sirius explained. First Remus' raised his eyebrows in surprise. Was Sirius' family rich enough to have servants? But then his eyebrows turned into a frown as he realized the Black family's _butler_ had hurt Sirius.

Who the hell sends their butler on their child?

"And Walburga...?" Remus pryed, not sure if he wanted to hear the answer or not.

"...My mother." Sirius confessed.

Remus' mouth fell agape.

" _What_?" He demanded, but Sirius only grimaced at him.

"I told you my family's fucked up. They're all a bunch of insane maniacs who love to hurt the people around them. I'm telling you, ninety percent of my relatives love to inflict pain in others. I think it's a consequence of all the inbreeding or something." Sirius stated. Remus was still too baffled to laugh at the joke, or well, at least he hoped Sirius joked.

"Are you serious? Are you inbred? Or, no." Remus shook his head. His thoughts were everywhere. "I mean; did your mother, Walburga, hurt you?"

Sirius smiled at him sadly before he answered.

"Yes, I'm inbred."

Remus rolled his eyes but felt a small smile tug at his lips. He shoved Sirius' shoulder playfully before he said "You know what I meant."

"Yeah, well as I said, Walburga and Kreacher still hurt me occasionally but it's loads better now than before. You shouldn't worry." Sirius shrugged. However, Remus knew he wouldn't be able to drop the subject as easily. He didn't like the knowledge of Sirius risking getting hurt whenever he returned home. It just wasn't fair. Sirius was so wonderful, he deserved tons of love.

"But yeah, there are a few good people in my family. I think I told you back in first year but my uncle Alphard and my cousin Andromeda are both nice. Though, they're both disowned as well." Sirius grimaced. "Too bad, right?"

Remus stared at Sirius, baffled. He couldn't understand how someone as amazing as Sirius could come from such a rotten family as the one he'd just described.

"But enough about me. What about your...? Your scars...?" Sirius asked, voice low as he tentatively traced a finger over Remus' chest.

Remus loved the feeling of Sirius' finger running over his seldom touched skin, but the feeling got lost in the sudden fear he felt growing in his chest. He'd never told anyone about it before.

"I, I," Remus stuttered, heart racing for some reason unknown. He heard Sirius whisper soothing words to him as he let a hand swipe over Remus' chest reassuringly. Remus breathed in a lungful of Sirius' significant scent before he felt himself relax.

"I got most of my scars in an accident with a wolf about ten years ago. I had strolled into the forest by our house in the middle of the night all on my own, and before my parents noticed I was gone a wolf had found me and attacked me. I survived but the scars were permanent, and since then I've, ehm..." Remus took a deep breath, steadying himself.

"Since then I've more or less always been bullied. Because the other kids thought I looked funny with the scars on my chest, arms and thighs. I'm lucky the wolf spared my face, but still. I wish I'd never walked into the forest that night." Remus shook his head. He felt silly all of a sudden. His story felt less horrible than Sirius' and he was afraid Sirius was going to think he was a cissy.

"I'm so sorry to hear that. And you should never have ben bullied. The fact that you..." Sirius interrupted himself with a frustrated growl. Remus felt his heart jump. Sirius got irritated by the fact he'd gotten bullies. Sirius wanted to protect him.

"But you know, I think they're cool." Sirius told him honestly when he'd calmed down. Remus smiled at him thankfully.

"I, ehm, some of the scars I got form a mental uncle though. He is since long dead by now, but, ehm, thought you wanted to know..." Remus trailed off.

"Good for him that he's dead or I would've searched him up right now to give him a piece of my mind." Sirius growled. Remus felt his chest flutter again. He loved how Sirius cared about him.

Remus let his hand wander up to Sirius' hair where he curled his fingers and scraped Sirius' scalp. That turned his expression from furious to pure bliss and Remus felt a spark rush though his body when he heard Sirius voice a low moan.

Urged on, Remus captured Sirius' lips with his own in a slow kiss that soon turned into a messy make out session. Remus nestled both of his hands in Sirius' hair as he felt Sirius trace fingers over his bare chest.

Remus felt Sirius climb on top of him where he straddled his hips. And while hungrily answering Sirius' eager tongue with his own Remus wrapped his arms around him and pressed their bodies tighter together. They kissed until Remus got dizzy from the sloppy sounds, heavy breathing and scent of Sirius who lay on top of him.

Remus felt his entire body jolt, and he broke the kiss to gasp. He wondered what had happened when he saw Sirius smile at him mischievously. Remus opened his mouth to ask him about it but didn't get time to voice any words as another gasp escaped him.

Then he felt it; his nipple.

Sirius pinched his left nipple in between his index finger and thumb. And as Sirius played with it Remus felt sparks of pleasure surge though his body, settling in his groin. Remus wriggled around on the bed. The new feeling of getting his nipple pinched made him feel incredibly aroused, and turning his focus to his groin he realized he was already painfully hard.

" _Sirius_ ," He panted, not sure whether to ask him to stop or go on.

"Yes, _Remus_?" Sirius breathed close to Remus' ear, making him shiver.

"Never mind, please go on." Remus panted. He wasn't sure what they were doing but he never wanted Sirius to stop.

Remus panted and whined beneath Sirius as he worked on his nipple. Almost mad with desire Remus wrapped his arms around Sirius' neck and pulled him down until his mouth lay pressed against his ear. Taking a risk, Remus tentatively bit down on Sirius' earlobe.

"Ah," Sirius moaned, sending a spark of arousal straight to Remus' cock. Urged on he bit down on Sirius' earlobe again, and then licked over it.

Remus felt Sirius tense above him, and pressing his head further into the pillow to have a look at Sirius Remus saw he had shut his eyes as he panted harshly. A proud smile curled Remus' lips. Had he really turned Sirius into a panting mess from just a lick over his _ear_?

When Sirius came back to his senses he shifted on top of Remus until his leg lay pressed against Remus' groin like the day before. Remus closed his eyes when a powerful wave of pleasure hit him. He spread his legs more when Sirius started rubbing his thigh against him.

Remus felt Sirius thread his hands in his hair before he leaned down for a sloppy kiss. Remus swiped his hands all over Sirius' back, wanting to touch every last centimeter of his naked skin.

Sirius wriggled around again, this time until Remus felt his trousers-clad erection meet another hard bulge. With a moan Remus realized Sirius had pressed their groins together. Then Sirius started moving his body against Remus, grinding and thrusting down on him.

He broke to kiss in favor of panting against Sirius' neck. His heart tried to beat out of his chest, and his lower abdomen churned from the heat of the moment. Remus lifted his hips to meet Sirius' hard member with every thrust, and had to bite his lip not to shout at the wonderful pleasure.

In the middle of their rushed rutting Remus felt Sirius plant a wet kiss to his neck. Then he felt Sirius to suck on it, making Remus whine helplessly. The combination of the sucking on his neck and pressure on his groin made him feel ready to explode with arousal.

Not sure what to do more than panting Remus turned his head to the side until his lips came in contact with Sirius' neck. He pressed a set of hard kisses to it before an idea struck him.

Remus opened his mouth, placed it over Sirius' delicate skin and then bit down.

Sirius released Remus' neck right as he let out a loud moan. Remus' stomach fluttered at the sound, and he lowered his hands to press Sirius' buttocks before he bit down on his neck again, harder this time.

A strangled noise escaped Sirius' throat as he froze on top of Remus, hands gripping his shoulders tightly.

"Remus, I," Sirius croaked before Remus bit down again, making him pant heavily.

Sirius gripped Remus' head and then held him still as he pressed a moist kiss to his lips. Remus hummed and answered the kiss eagerly. He rejoiced when he felt Sirius suck on his lower lip, and urged him on by squeezing his ass.

When Sirius' tongue snaked its way into his mouth and they started making out extensively Remus felt the air change. He grew aware of the pooling heat in his groin and how Sirius lowered his hands to press them under Remus' buttocks.

They rutted against each other with new fervor, both of them pressing their bodies closer together with the help of their hands, all the while they kissed like their lives depended on it.

When Sirius broke the kiss in favor of sucking on Remus' neck Remus felt his muscles clench and his release approach.

"Sirius," He moaned just as Sirius rubbed his hard erection against his one more time.

He threw his head back against the pillow at the same time his back arched. He gasped as he felt Sirius rut against him fervently while he sucked, licked and kissed his neck.

Then with a moan Sirius stilled as well.

Remus felt his orgasm surge through him, leaving him limp as he relished in the pleasure. He lay panting beneath Sirius, chest heaving and heart beating at a mad pace as he bathed in a wonderful bliss.

He felt like he walked on air and for a second wondered if he'd died and was in heaven, but then he started come back to reality.

He rolled Sirius off him before he opened his eyes. His breath was ragged and he was sweaty all over, and glancing to his side he saw Sirius look the same.

Remus felt Sirius lift his hand before he placed it on Remus' stomach. Remus smiled and then lifted his own to thread their fingers together. Sirius was still here.

Remus shifted some on the bed, planning on spooning with Sirius, when he felt something wet and cold around his crotch. Glancing down Remus realized he still wore his trousers.

He felt his cheeks heat up when he realized the wet in his trousers was his come.

Even though his limbs felt like noodles and his legs shook as he got up from the bed Remus walked over to Sirius' wardrobe, retrieved two briefs and two pairs of sweatpants before he walked over to the bed and threw the pile by the end of the bed.

After him and Sirius had changed into the clean clothes, Remus with his back turned to Sirius since he felt embarrassed all of a sudden, and thrown the dirty ones next to the bed on the floor they climbed under the covers. Remus felt Sirius wrap his arms around his back, taking the role of the big spoon, making him smile happily. He could feel Sirius' hot breath on his neck and it made him shiver pleasantly.

"You're perfect." Sirius mumbled to his neck.

Remus felt a lovesick giggle escape him as he turned around to press a light kiss to Sirius' lips.

"You're wonderful." Remus told him honestly as he rejoiced in the warm embrace of Sirius. He was just about to close his eyes when he heard the door slam open.

"We're back! Have you missed- oh, should we come back later?"

James.

Remus quickly lifted his covers until it covered him to his eyes. Darting his eyes to the door he saw James hide a snicker under his hand, standing next to Peter who looked ready to faint from the shock.

"Why are y-you in the same b-bed!?" Peter shrieked, voice pitching.

"Ehm," Sirius coughed. "Surprise...?"

James closed the door behind him and then patted Peter on the back, pushing him forward into the room all the while he gave aimed Remus and Sirius a funny look.

"You have something you want to share with us?" James asked them, his hands on his hips when he'd pushed Peter to the side of Remus' bed.

"No." Sirius told them before he tightened his grip around Remus.

"Aren't you going to tell me what's going on?" Peter piped from where he'd covered his eyes with his hands in fear of the sight in front of him.

"I don't know. Are you?" James raised an eyebrow at Remus and Sirius, and then Remus cleared his throat.

"We, I-, well," He stuttered but stopped to take a deep breath. He felt his entire face burn from embarrassment under James' gaze, and felt guilty when he saw Peter grimace uncomfortably. He hadn't wanted for them to find out this way, but oh well.

"I actually have something to confess." Remus exclaimed, voice echoing in the room. When he felt Sirius plant a soft kiss to the back of his head he went on.

"It might come as a shock to you but I'm gay. And Sirius and I are kind of together now... Sorry we didn't tell you sooner, but it's still new and all. Sorry." Remus' voice got lower and lower and by the time he finished his voice trailed off into nothing.

Remus glanced up at James nervously, half expecting him to lash out in disgust. But he didn't. Instead Remus watched as James clasped a hand over his mouth before he bent over and laughed uncontrollably. Remus frowned. What was so funny?

"Oi! What're you laughing at? Think it's funny he's gay? Have you forgotten I'm gay as well? You're basically making fun of both of us right now!" Sirius scolded James from where he tightened his grip around Remus further.

Then Remus startled. What had he said? James knew Sirius was gay?

"S-sorry," James managed in between chuckles. "It's just, 'might come as a shock', ha ha! As if I hadn't figured it out already! I knew Remus was as gay as a may pole back when we were eleven!" James shrieked as he got lost in another laughing fit.

Next to him Peter had gotten an odd green color in his face and Remus thought he looked ready to throw up any minute now. He grimaced and shifted on the spot, looking a lot like he wanted to escape the uncomfortable situation.

"You knew he was gay? Why didn't you say anything!" Sirius asked James, voice sounding a mixture of betrayed and baffled.

"S-sorry! I didn't want to risk anything by telling." James said as he finally snapped out of his fit. He adjusted his clothes and wiped his wet cheeks on the hem of his shirt.

"Wait, wait! You knew Sirius liked me? But you knew I liked him as well!" Remus exclaimed astonished. Had James known they liked each other all along without telling?

"Yeah, yeah. It was really difficult to stay silent at times, I'm telling you. Once or twice I thought about just blurting it out to get you together already. Though, by the look of it you managed that without my help." James crossed his arms before he smirked at them and winked. Remus felt his cheeks heat again.

"Can I go now?" Peter piped suddenly, making all heads turn to him. Remus saw that he peeked through his fingers to check the course was clear before he lowered his hands from his face. Remus didn't miss to notice how his eyes lingered on the floor; he didn't look at the bed in front of him.

Remus felt offended. Why didn't Peter look at them? Didn't he approve of them?

"Wormy, aren't you happy Moony and Pads finally hit it off? We saw it coming years back, didn't we?" James exclaimed cheerfully as he aimed at pat on Peter's back, making him squeal in surprise.

"Sure..." He answered, but lacked the cheerfulness James expected from him.

"Well I sure am in the clouds of joy! Congratulations mates!" He chirped before he threw himself on the bed, making Remus and Sirius groan when he landed on top of them.

"Oh wait, are you _spooning_?" James' asked, sounding surprised. Remus tried to ignore his suggestive undertone.

"Yeah, sorry Prongs. This bed can only hold two spoons at a time so you need to spoon with Wormy if you feel alone. This one's taken." Sirius explained before he reached an arm out to push James off the bed.

James fell down on the hard floor but bounced back up again immediately. He wore a dashing smile that almost hurt in Remus' eyes as he looked at it.

"You old dog! I only wanted to bid you good night." James shook his head at Sirius who Remus suspected scowled at him. "Good night!" James exclaimed before he grabbed Peter's wrist and yanked him towards their side of the cabin. Remus thought he could visibly see Peter relax, and heard a relieved sigh.

"He'll come around." James mouthed to Remus over his shoulder before he turned his attention back to Peter. Remus shrugged. He wasn't sure whether Peter's blessing mattered that much at the moment. The most important thing was the fact Sirius still held on to him, and Remus could feel his heart beat against his back.

"Well... That was awkward." Sirius whispered, making Remus chuckle.

"Yeah, but at least we have Prongs' blessing, that's something isn't it?" Remus threaded his fingers with Sirius' and pressed their clasped hands to lay pressed against his heart.

"That's the spirit." Sirius breathed to his hair before Remus felt Sirius plant a soft kiss to it, making his heart swell with affection.

"Good night Remus." He breathed as Remus felt his breaths grow deeper.

"Night Sirius." Remus whispered. He turned around to place one final kiss on Sirius' lips before he closed his eyes and fell asleep.


	19. Camping - part one

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I cut this chapter into two since it got too long. Hope you like it though! :)

The following days passed in a wonderful bliss.

Remus sneaked kisses from Sirius on every opportunity, and they had nearly gotten caught four times by Filch and other campers already. By now they had kissed behind cabin 1, 2, 5, 7, in Slughorn's office, by the bridge when swimming in the lake and under the tables in the dining hall.

It was fun and exciting. Remus loved the thrill of searching for a new hiding spot, making out with Sirius until they were out of breath and then quickly think of any excuses for their absence.

The only downside to their lovely rendezvous was that Sirius only had brought one turtle neck sweater with him. It was the one Remus had borrowed when he'd left hickeys all across Remus' neck and throat.

But now that both of them had use of the sweater they had to choose.

When they did Sirius often ended up with the turtle neck, considering he'd received a great amount of hickeys as well, but also a bunch of suspiciously looking bite-marks. Remus felt himself blush every time he saw the bite-marks on Sirius' neck. Though, at least most of them faded quickly.

However, despite the small issue with covering their love marks Remus had never been happier. He felt like he was walking on air when he got to spend nearly every waking second in close proximity to Sirius. He walked around, high on love, and let slip giggles so often people started to wonder.

Sirius seemed just as happy as Remus. He wore a constant bright grin on his face, and was just as eager as Remus when they sneaked off to make out in dark corners or behind cabins. They touched at every opportunity, pressed their thighs to each other when they sat, and even slept in the same bed at night.

Remus felt lucky. He felt so happy that he had to pinch himself to check if he was dreaming. That's how good Sirius was for him. Sirius chased away all evils and turned the world into a place with only goods. Into a place filled with love.

"Are you going to stare at each other all morning or actually eat something? Or on another note, are you going to eat that pancake or can I take it?"

Remus snapped out of his blissful daze and reluctantly tore his eyes from Sirius'. He found James staring at them, looking a mixture of amused and proud, across the table.

"Just take the pancake. It's obvious they're going to go on like this for the rest of the breakfast." Peter sighed dramatically on the seat next to James before he waved his fork in the air, motioning for Sirius' filled but untouched plate.

"Were you saying something?" Sirius asked James, eyes dreamy. Remus smiled at him and gave his hand a squeeze from where they lay clasped under the table. Sirius turned his attention back to Remus and before James or Peter had any time repeat what they'd said Remus and Sirius got lost in each other's eyes again.

"Just take the pancake." Remus absentmindedly heard Peter advice James.

Remus' smile turned into a joyful grin when he thought back on the fact that Peter had gotten used to the idea of him and Sirius being together. Sure, he still screamed whenever he saw them kiss, snog or lay pressed together in a bed, but he didn't get that odd green color in his face anymore. And all in all he seemed to relax into the idea of them being an item.

"Look, there's Sluggy!" James hissed to them, immediately gaining Sirius' attention. Remus looked around the dining hall until he spotted Slughorn walking through the entrance to the front wall. He was going to announce something, Remus realized.

Remus crossed his fingers and hoped it wasn't another meet and greet with the girl's camp at the same time James mumbled 'please, girl's camp, please girl's camp'.

When Slughorn had positioned himself by the wall in front of the dining campers Remus, Sirius, James and Peter all strained their ears to hear what he was going to say.

Slughorn announced that since it's a Friday and the beginning of the weekend they should do something extra. He told them he had planned for the campers to spend a night camping in the forest with tents he'd found lying around in the basement of the main building.

He told them that since he'd found twelve tents, one of them going for Hagrid, one for Slughorn and Filch, ten tents were left. And since Slughorn despised to make decisions about who to share a tent with who he simply told them that there would be one tent per cabin.

For once Remus didn't feel repelled by Slughorn's lack of ability to make decisions since he was going to get to share a tent with his two best friends and boyfriend. Remus felt himself smile as he thought it again. Sirius was his boyfriend.

Slughorn finished his speech by informing them that they were to appear by the main building to follow Hagrid into the forest five 'clock, and then he was off. A murmur rose up in his absence, the many boys a mixture of excited over the fact they were going to spend the night in the forest, or angry since they thought it was wasted time they could have spent with the ladies from the girls camp.

Remus was part of the former. He felt excited over the fact of sleeping in a real tent since he hadn't before. He wasn't ever allowed into the forest at home after it'd gotten dark anymore.

"This is going to be so much fun!" James declared cheerfully before he quickly nicked the pancake off Sirius' plate, earning him a 'Hey!'

''''''''''

"Is this supposed to be on the right or left side?" Peter asked, expression confused.

"In the middle I think. Here, let me take it." Remus reached for the metal tube. Then he stared at it dumbfounded.

None of them had put up a tent before.

"Here take this." Remus said before he pressed the metal tube to James' chest and walked away to 'help' Sirius by his end. They had tried to put up this tent for half an hour now. They and one of the Creevey brothers were the last one left.

"Do ya need help?"

Remus turned around when he heard the significant voice of Hagrid greet him. He smiled back at the kind smile that met him before he nodded.

"Yes please. I fear that we're in some desperate need of help." He sighed and rubbed his temples. Then he showed Hagrid what they'd accomplished yet, which were two pieces they'd put together the wrong way around, and then Hagrid got to work.

Remus took a step back, not risking getting a flying metal tube hit him in the face. Also, there was the smell.

There had been twelve tents available but somehow the tent James and Sirius had rushed forward to grab had been the smelliest of them all. It reeked of old mold and dust, and Remus suspected it was the oldest of the tents since he'd found a large hole in it as well. It had probably lied in the basement for over a century, serving as a snack for bypassing mice and rats.

Hagrid managed to put up the tent within five minutes. Remus thanked him with a smile, Peter with a lollipop, Sirius with a pat on his large arm and James with a high five. Hagrid chuckled at them and encouraged them to call him if they needed help again before he walked away to help the Creevey kid.

Remus scrunched up his nose when a whiff of the mold smell reached his nostrils. Grimacing he aimed the tent a glare.

Turning his attention forward again he saw Slughorn, Filch and the lot of first years walk back with their arms filled with firewood from the forest. They threw the firewood in the middle of the small clearing, creating a bonfire, and then Slughorn called for Hagrid to light it.

Hagrid lit the firewood, and soon they'd got a sparkling bonfire in the middle of the tent-circle. First Remus rejoiced in the beautiful orange sparkles and warmth radiating from it, but then he felt the smell of smoke and suddenly he didn't know which was worse; the mold smell or the smoke. He would definitely need to wash his clothes after the camping experience.

The four of them made themselves at home in the tent. They filled it with pillows from the pile they found by the end of the clearing that Slughorn had placed there earlier that day. Then they walked over to the bonfire to grill hotdogs for dinner.

The younger boys made way for them when they headed for the bonfire, which didn't go unnoticed by James and Sirius who lifted their chins in the air and broadened their shoulders from the attention. Remus stared at the grass they walked on, embarrassed by the other's behavior.

When they reached the bonfire they sat down in the growing circle of sitting campers around it. Leaning forward Remus gripped four sticks and then gave three of them to his friends before he looked to his left to retrieve the plastic bag containing hot dog bread from the young, freckled boy next to him. Remus took two before he handed it over to Sirius who sat next to him.

Ten minutes later all campers had sat down in the ring, Remus, James, Sirius and Peter all had got their hands on hot dogs and were now grilling them on their sticks over the fire.

When they'd all managed to burn all hot dogs, angrily replaced them with a another set, and managed to burn half of them they decided to stop with their attempts on grilling and instead just place the hot dogs in the breads already. So they did, and for that Remus was glad because he was so hungry he wolfed down his two hot dogs in a minute.

Half an hour later the four of them were all full after just having finished their third portion of hot dogs and headed back for their tent. They spent around one hour in the too small tent before Remus got enough and headed outside.

Sirius trailed after him, and with a suggestive wink he gripped Remus' wrist and started leading him away from the temporary tent-camp, deeper into the forest.

"Where are you taking me?" Remus asked playfully. "To the glade?"

"Perhaps..." Sirius trailed off as he released his grip around Remus' wrist in favor of clasping their hands together, the action making butterflies flutter in Remus' stomach.

"You're heading for the glade, aren't you?" Remus gave Sirius' hand a squeeze and saw Sirius flick him a grin in response. He was so leading them to the glade.

They walked close to the buzzing electricity fence but kept enough distance for it to still be safe. They followed the path that eventually would lead them to their secret passageway to the other side in silence. But it wasn't strained. It was the most comfortable silence Remus had experienced and it was companied by the steady, excited beats of his own heart.

They swung their clasped hands in the air as they walked side to side, shoulders occasionally bumping into each other, stopping every ten seconds to steal a kiss from the other. Remus wore a constant grin on his face. He felt warm and giddy inside, with Sirius' hand in his that constantly pulled, tugged or squeezed at him, earning Sirius his constant attention.

Remus saw the big tree which made out their secret passageway in front of them. He gave Sirius' hand a squeeze and turned to him to press a final kiss to his lips before they had to let go to climb over to the other side. But he heard a twig break behind them.

Remus froze. He let go of Sirius' hand as he darted his eyes from side to side. When he didn't find anything suspicious in their surroundings he turned around.

He gasped when he saw what had made the noise.

In the forest about twenty meters from them stood four other boys; Rosier, Snape, a kid Remus remembered as 'Avery', and _Regulus_.

Remus winced. Had they trailed them on their way to the secret hideout? Had they... Remus' eyes widened in horror; had they seen them kiss?

Remus darted his eyes to glance at Sirius worriedly. He saw Sirius' frozen expression mirror his own. Sirius looked a mixture between afraid and angry from where Remus suspected he stared specifically at Regulus.

Remus closed his eyes in despair. He desperately hoped Regulus wouldn't tell on Sirius to Walburga or Kreacher or any other vicious member in Sirius' family. But then he realized one of the other three nosy gits might tell on him if Regulus didn't.

"The show is over, you can leave now." Sirius declared to them as he crossed his arms over his chest. None of them moved.

"Excuse me?" Rosier exclaimed before he spat on the ground in front of him, making Remus grimace in disgust.

"Filthy, disgusting..." He heard Snape grunt as he glared at Remus, hands shaping into fists by his sides.

Remus swallowed nervously. He didn't like the situation they were in.

"Leave us alone, you shitheads!" Sirius shouted at them when they still didn't make any signs to walk away.

"We're not going anywhere, _fag_." Rosier narrowed his eyes at them before his lips curled into a snarl.

Remus felt his chest clench uncomfortably. He didn't like the feeling of being followed, and cornered in the middle of the forest close to an electricity fence. He felt like he should say something but since he couldn't think of anything that would help he stayed silent.

"Go the _fuck_ away!" Sirius shouted while he sent death glares at them. Remus saw Regulus stare at them looking too shocked to move. He had probably been lured to follow Rosier and Snape out into the woods, them wanting to scare him or something. Remus sighed helplessly. This incident definitely wouldn't make Sirius tangled relationship with his only brother any better.

"We saw you, you know!" Rosier shouted back with a haughty laugh. "We saw you being all disgusting with each other and now we'll tell everyone!" He laughed.

Remus felt his stomach constrict with worry, but then he felt Sirius reach for his hand and clasp it with his own again. Remus glanced up at him and felt his worry fade when he saw Sirius' determined but kind eyes.

"Please, go ahead! That would save _us_ the trouble of doing it! Thanks for the help!" Sirius shouted before he added a haughty laughter of his own. Remus watched as Rosier, Snape and the new kid Avery's faces turned red from frustration. They had probably hoped for Sirius to panic, just like Regulus seemed to from where he still stared at Sirius with a shocked expression.

"Walburga will find out!" Rosier threatened, but Sirius didn't even flinch from where he stood next to Remus.

"Great, send her an invitation to the wedding as well when you're on it!" Sirius shouted at them, and Remus just had the time to jerk his head to the side in surprise before Sirius started running, pulling Remus with him.

"You're a disgrace to the family!" They heard Rosier shout from behind them.

"Go to hell!" Sirius shouted back over his shoulder before he turned his eyes back to the road. They ran in the direction of the camp, Remus noted, and had just passed the old oak tree on Remus' right.

They ran until they reached the end of the forest and stepped out on the grass on the vast grounds of the main area of the camp. They stopped to catch their breaths for a moment, and then Remus wrapped Sirius in a tight hug.

"Don't let it get to you. You're better than them." Remus whispered against Sirius' ear, then pressed light kisses over it. If he was honest he was afraid of them telling, but he had to be strong for Sirius. He was the one in trouble after all.

"I know... I know." Sirius whispered.

They stayed like that, hugging each other tightly by the end of the forest, until they saw the sky darkening and they decided to head back.

They trudged through the outskirts of the forest hand in hand, and Remus finally felt his mood lighten again. He hoped they could put the uncomfortable cornering behind them.

''''''''''

"Ow, stop elbowing me!"

"I would if you rolled of my right leg! It's literally numb by now."

"What? I'm not even touching your bloody leg!"

"Just move some more to your right or something, I don't care just don't straddle my leg. It's creepy."

"Stop pushing, I'm moving already!"

"Hey! Watch it. This bed's taken!"

"Please don't scream in my ear Sirius."

"Sorry..."

Remus sighed. This tent really was too crowded for four fifteen year old boys who all wanted their own space.

They had all lied down on one blanket and pillow each, but they had to share a blanket between the four of them since Slughorn had ran out on them before they'd had time to snatch some more for themselves. Thus, Remus now lay squashed between Peter and Sirius on a blanket barely covering the damp grass under them. Oh, and the tent still reeked of mold, and there was a set of holes in the ceiling Remus strongly suspected were the works of some hungry rats.

"Stop kicking me already! I'm moving to the side!" Peter explained to James who kept pushing him away from his end of the tent. Remus huffed when he felt Peter press himself closer to him who already struggled to breathe from the crowded space.

Sure, he loved how he basically spooned with Sirius under the blanket with him, but it would have been more romantic if it weren't for the cover-stealing James and Peter who complained, sweated and was shoved into Remus every other minute or so.

"Can you _please_ stop bickering already?" Remus pleaded while he flung his hands in the air desperately.

"Yeah, Wormy stop complaining." James huffed.

Remus rolled his eyes.

"Prongs I meant you as well." Remus grunted. He looked over his shoulder to ask Sirius for help when he saw him wink at him suggestively. Remus immediately felt his cheeks heat up and he swallowed before he raised one of his eyebrows in question. Then he saw Sirius' eyes flick to the tent entrance and back and Remus got the message.

Sirius wanted to sneak out again.

Remus smiled excitedly and was just about to whisper that he would love to follow him outside when he felt Sirius thrust his body against his from behind.

" _Ah_ ," Remus gasped unintentionally at the contact of Sirius' groin to his ass.

"What was that!?" Peter shrieked as he quickly sat up on the blanket.

Remus felt his entire face heat up. He coughed to try and cover up his slip up but knew it was too late.

"I can't believe you! Are you actually planning on shagging when Wormy and I are still in the tent? And you complain about us moving around too much. God, do I even want to know what you're planning?" James asked over dramatically. He gasped and then slammed a hand over his chest just for good measure.

"Oh, stop it Jamie-boy. I know you're jealous I get Moony all for myself." Sirius teased before he purposely thrust his groin against Remus again, making him bite his lip as he let slip a small cry.

"Dear God please save me!" Peter pleaded from where he'd slammed his hands over his ears in a desperate try to cover up the sounds.

Sirius chuckled, and James joined in as well.

"I'm not sure I'm jealous of Moony, but Evans..." James sighed dreamily. Remus groaned. Not another Evans-fit again.

"Okay, okay. If we promise not to shag in here can we please have an Evans-free night?" Sirius asked, voice cheerful as he lifted an arm and reached it over Remus to jab a finger in James' shoulder.

"Let me think... hmm... alright, deal!" James grinned before he reached a hand out to shake Sirius' extended hand. When they were done they gripped one of Peter's arms each and pulled him back down.

"Is it over?" He piped, eyes still shut close.

"Yes princess, it's 'over'. You can look now." Sirius teased before he lied back down and wrapped his arms around Remus who stayed conveniently silent from where he still bit his lip.

"Welcome back Wormy." James cheered when Peter finally opened his eyes, but then James looked over at Sirius. "I forgot to add; no snogging either... alright?" He asked.

"Ahh!" Peter shouted and then he slammed his hands over his ears again.

Remus shook his head. Peter overreacted and James and Sirius were just silly.

"Of course mate." Sirius exclaimed, and then Remus watched as James nodded before he made himself comfortable on the hard 'bed'. With a sad squeak Peter removed his hands from his ears and pulled the shared blanket up to his chin as he turned around so that his back faced Remus. Remus thought it felt like Peter shifted closer to James, but it only made him feel thankful since he got room to move around some himself.

"Good night." James yawned when the tent had been silent for a moment.

"Night." Remus, Sirius and Peter answered in chorus.

Remus closed his eyes but stayed awake on purpose. Sirius had suggested they sneak out once more and it wasn't something he'd want to miss by accidentally falling asleep. He hoped Sirius still planned on talking him outside.

When the only sounds in the cabin came from the slow breaths of James and Peter minutes later Remus felt his heart jump with excitement.

They were asleep.


	20. Camping - part two

As silently and smoothly he could, not wanting to risk waking Peter up, Remus turned around on the blanket until he faced Sirius. With another jump of his heart he found Sirius gazing at him, then aiming him a wink and playful smile. Remus smiled back at him. He remembered.

"Now?" Remus mouthed. Sirius looked past him to catch a glimpse of the sleeping figures of James and Peter before he nodded vigorously. Then he started the difficult task of sneaking out the tent without the other's noticing, or waking up. And if they reached outside; the task of how to sneak out without Slughorn, Filch or any of their enemies noticing.

Of course Remus had remembered that Hagrid was supposed to keep watch by the fire. Though, he knew Hagrid would probably only smile at him mischievously before he _helped_ them sneak away unnoticed. Hagrid was unique like that. Always ready to help, often without reason.

When Sirius had managed to sit up on the bed and cradle to the tent entrance he made a thumbs up for Remus to do the same.

Remus threw the blanket off him and piled it on top of Peter's back before he rolled to the side until he'd reached Sirius' end of the tent. He froze for a second but when no one woke up he cradled to the entrance where Sirius met him with a high five.

"The zipper." Remus mouthed with a grimace. The zipper was really old and rusty; it would probably make a lot of noise. But then Sirius pulled it down and it didn't make a sound.

"Come on." Sirius mouthed with a flirty wink. He peeked outside before he slipped past the entrance, and Remus followed suit. When they sat down on the grass on the other side Remus sighed in relief. They'd made it.

Sirius gave Remus' knee a squeeze before he reached out to zip the entrance again. Though, this time it made a loud creaking noise.

Remus and Sirius froze. They shared a panicked look with each other, but then Sirius took a risk and quickly zipped the entrance all the way up. Remus stared at the tent entrance anxiously and was just about to relax when he heard a voice coming from inside the tent.

"Mom?"

Remus had to slam a hand over his mouth to stop the loud laughter from escaping him. He curled into a ball and rolled to his side on the ground as he desperately snickered into his hand. Oh my god. Had someone just said _'mom'_?

"Shh Wormy... you woke me up." Another voice scolded from inside the tent.

Remus' stomach hurt from the laughing. He felt tears form in his eyes and then fall down on his cheeks. He rolled around on the grass, with now two hands covering his mouth. Peter, he realized, _Peter_ had said mom!

When he bumped into something on the grass he looked up. He voiced a muffled 'mhm!' when he saw Sirius mimic him from where he'd wrapped one arm around his stomach while he cried out laughter after laughter into his palm.

After a minute or two Remus finally calmed down enough to sit back up so he adjusted his clothes and then looked around for Sirius. Remus found him standing next to him, cheerful grin on his lips. Remus grinned back at him before he reached out a hand, motioning for Sirius to help him stand. He did, and when he stood next to Sirius he wrapped him in an affectionate hug.

"You heard Wormtail?" Sirius whispered, making the both of them snicker again.

"I was dying of laughter. But honestly, who says 'mom' when they wake up?" Remus asked while he wiped his wet cheeks on Sirius' shoulder.

They joked about Peter a moment longer but then they decided to finally head somewhere else. Looking around them Remus saw that the clearing was empty from others, spare Hagrid who'd fallen asleep on his four chairs by the bonfire that still glowed some in the darkness.

Sirius took Remus hand in his and then they headed for a suitable hiding spot. They passed through the vegetation that looked spooky in the darkness of the night. Remus wasn't sure if he would have dared to walk through the forest this late if he hadn't felt Sirius grip his hand reassuringly.

Remus heard the low buzzing from the electricity fence and warned Sirius, not wanting them to be fried. Sirius started steering them in a new direction, away from the hidden passageway to their glade where Remus initially thought he'd been led.

They walked past big trees, stepped on twigs and stumbled on some rocks, but then Sirius stopped. Looking around Remus noticed he'd led them to the old oak tree where Remus had made his wish back in first year. He hadn't told anyone about it, he didn't plan to either. He was too afraid of the magic losing its power if he told anyone about it.

To the tree's left Remus saw a patch of moonlight and a bigger rock. He took a step forward and pointed at the rock. Sirius got the message and sat down on it, and then clapped his lap, motioning for Remus to sit down.

Remus sat down on Sirius' lap and smiled when Sirius wrapped his arms around him in a warm embrace in the shill night air. Remus leaned back against him and relished in the calming effect Sirius had on him. Here he was, in the middle of a forest at night for the first time in years since the wolf attack and he wasn't afraid.

He sighed happily. With Sirius he felt safe. No matter where he was or who he was with; Sirius always managed to make him feel safe. He made him feel at home.

When Remus felt Sirius start swiping his hands over his chest Remus turned around and straddled Sirius' hips. He wrapped his arms over Sirius neck and then looked deeply into his grey eyes which looked almost black in the dim moonlight.

Sirius smiled at him warmly before he placed his arms on his lower back. Remus smiled back at him before he leaned forward to press a soft kiss on his lips.

He kissed Sirius slowly; their lips only brushing against each other before Remus leaned back some to redo the procedure. But then he felt his heart rate pick up as Sirius lowered his hands to press against his ass and Remus started pressing his lips against Sirius' more firmly.

He angled his head to the side and parted his lips, felt Sirius do the same. The kiss deepened, their movements becoming more urgent and small whines, moans, and breaths escaping them as they opened their mouths and slid their tongues together. Remus felt Sirius' hot, slick tongue slide against his own, lightening his body on fire from the inside, making his stomach churn with anticipation.

As they fervently made out Remus let his hands come up to cup Sirius' cheeks for a moment. Then he swiped them over to grip Sirius' hair, earning him a set of pleasure filled hums into his mouth from him.

They didn't break the kiss until both were desperate for air. Out of breath Remus panted onto Sirius' neck that he leaned against with his eyes closed. He felt his heart beat at a mad pace, and he had grown to love the feeling. He associated it with Sirius.

"I love you." Sirius whispered close to Remus' ear all of a sudden.

"W-what?" Remus croaked against Sirius' neck before he leaned back to look him in the eyes. He looked serious.

"I love you Remus. In fact I- I think I'm in love with you." Sirius sucked on his lower lip, but then released it to give Remus an apologetic smile.

"Hope you don't think I'm creepy or anything... just wanted you to know I love you. You deserve to hear you're loved." Sirius smiled and then reached up a hand to caress Remus' cheek.

Remus only stared at Sirius, baffled. Had Sirius really told him he loved him? Quickly, Remus had to tell Sirius he loved him back. He had to tell him he'd been in love with him for years and longed, dreamed, yearned for this day to come.

"You're not creepy." Was what he managed to say instead. He grimaced at his own stupidity and sighed sadly when Sirius chuckled at him.

"Thanks. Good to know." Sirius told him before he brushed Remus' fringe from his forehead.

"Please let me rephrase." Remus pleaded with a small smile, and when Sirius nodded he went on with his confession.

"I love you too. In fact, I've loved you for years and been in love with you for so long. I love you more than you probably can imagine. You're my world." Remus finished, his voice lowering to a sincere whisper, his eyes watering as his heart swelled with affection for Sirius.

"Do you really love me back...?" Sirius asked him, seeming to have a hard time believing him.

"Yes! But wait... do you really love me?" Remus asked uncertainly. It seemed too good to be true.

"Yes! You're the most wonderful person on earth! I love you!" Sirius explained cheerfully before he embraced Remus in a tightly. "I love you." He whispered again, close to Remus' ear, making a lovesick smile splay on his lips.

Sirius Black loved him back.

Feeling overwhelmed by happiness Remus reached for Sirius' neck where he started planting kisses all over. The affection he felt for Sirius in his chest swelled and he was driven by the urge to relay this love to him.

He heard Sirius hum approvingly and then lower his hands to lie pressed against his thighs. Remus' kisses grew sloppier, and then he tried sucking at a spot close to Sirius' collarbone, earning him a wonderful noise from Sirius' throat. Remus bit down on the neck before he planted a soft kiss over the teeth marks.

" _Remus_ ," Sirius panted, but he never got the chance to finish his sentence since Remus swiped his lips to Sirius' ear where he licked it, making Sirius choke on his words. Remus smirked proudly when he rejoiced over the fact he knew just how to make Sirius feel good.

Remus was about to bite down on the earlobe when he felt Sirius start planting kisses on his neck, making Remus paus and take in the feel of Sirius' lips against his sensitive skin. Remus tightened his grip around Sirius when he felt him swipe his tongue over the spot he'd kissed, and then groaned in pleasure as he felt Sirius start sucking on his skin. He really loved when he did that.

Remus felt dizzy with a mixture of desire and love from where he panted against Sirius' neck as Sirius worked on his neck and throat. Remus closed his eyes and bit his lip to stop himself from moaning out loud. He wanted to go on all night; to go on until they'd both turned into a sweaty, sticky mess.

But they couldn't.

"Sirius," Remus spoke, voice raspy from lust. He heard a sloppy sound from Sirius' lips as he let go of Remus' neck, the sound instantly sending a spark to Remus' groin.

"Hm?" Sirius voiced before he looked Remus in the eyes, his gaze glazed and eyes almost black in the moonlight. Remus had to use up every last ounce of self-preservation not to grip Sirius and kiss him madly right there and then.

"I- we- we have to go back." Remus blurted, eyes a mixture of desperate and sad. He didn't want to.

"But... why? You don't want me to go on...?" Sirius shot him a quizzing look. Then he looked disappointed. Remus sighed dramatically.

"I'd love to go on until sunrise, but I know Slughorn or someone else might walk around the camp, peeking in the tents to see if anyone's missing or something. I don't want us to get found out; Hagrid doesn't matter, but imagine Slughorn..." Remus trailed off before he felt an uncomfortable shiver run down his spine.

"I hate to say this but I admit you've got a point." Sirius said as he quirked an eyebrow at Remus' playfully. "Five more minutes and then we'll head back. Does that sound like a deal? I don't want you to worry." Sirius whispered honestly before he kissed Remus' left cheek.

"That sounds like a splendid deal. Come here." Remus smiled at Sirius before he leaned forward to press a passionate kiss on his lips. They parted their lips, deepened it, and Remus wondered if he ever would be able to stop when the five minutes had passed.

Remus gripped Sirius' hair as he felt Sirius pull them closer together with the tight grip on Remus' thighs. Remus crossed his legs behind Sirius' back and leaned forward further, but then they both gasped when they tilted over the rock and Sirius' back hit the ground behind them.

"Ow," Sirius huffed as he collided with the grass.

"Sorry," Remus piped as he felt his cheeks burn from embarrassment. It was his fault they'd tipped over.

"What are you apologizing for? This is perfect." Sirius told him reassuringly, and glancing up Remus found Sirius grinning at him.

"It is?" Remus asked shyly, but when he felt Sirius' swipe his palms up to give his buttocks an approving squeeze he saved all talking for later and instead captured Sirius' lips for another kiss.

They made out on the grass, Remus' hands scraping Sirius' scalp, Sirius' hands caressing Remus' bum, until Remus felt all the hair on his body stand out from the wonderful sensation. He kissed Sirius passionately and felt himself getting lost in the steady rhythm of their tongues sliding together. Remus started pressing his body against Sirius' in a slow pace and was just about to ask if they perhaps could change the five minutes to fifty when Sirius broke the kiss and shrieked.

"Ahh!" Sirius screamed from where he wriggled around like mad under Remus who stared at him, baffled.

"W-what is it?" Remus asked, confused. Had he accidentally hurt him somehow?

"There's a bug in my hair!"

Remus tensed. Then he rolled his eyes. Sirius had a _bug_ in his hair?

"Help!" Sirius shrieked, twisting and turning with a terrified expression. Remus rolled off him and then kneed on the grass next to him. He told him to lay still while he searched his hair for any bugs.

"I can't see anything. It's too dark. Are you sure it was a bug?" Remus asked when he'd combed through the long hair three times.

"I swear! I felt something cradle up my neck to my hair. _Please_ check again!" Sirius begged with a pout.

"Okay, fine. I'll check one more time." Remus mumbled as he threaded his fingers in the hair once more. He let them brush Sirius' scalp, swirl every lock of his hair and them ruffle the hair before he suggested Sirius sat back up. When he shook his head, afraid the bug would slip into his shirt Remus gripped his wrists and hauled him up himself.

"B-but, what if it's still there?" Sirius piped. Remus was about to tell him the bug probably had fallen off him already when he saw something glisten on his shoulder.

"Wait. Sit still." Remus told him, but instead of doing what he was told Sirius panicked, screamed and flew his hands up to cover his eyes while he whined.

"Kill it!" He urged on Remus who huffed at him.

Remus reached out his right hand and then brushed away the dark blue bug. He watched it land on the grass to their right, and then cupped his hands over it to walk over a few meters and release it as far away from Sirius as he could. It would only be awkward to watch Sirius panic over the same bug again.

When Remus had walked back to Sirius, who still covered his eyes with his hands, and double checked that the grass and the rock around them were bug-free he told Sirius it was gone. Sirius peeked through his fingers cautiously, but when he saw Remus smile at him he removed the hands and instead wrapped Remus in a tight embrace.

"Thank you, thank you, thank you!" He piped to Remus' neck. "You saved me." Sirius whispered before he leaned back to kiss Remus fiercely.

"It was nothing." Remus giggled, feeling lovesick from the kiss.

"No, it wasn't nothing. You're my hero!" Sirius exclaimed cheerfully, making Remus smile shyly at him.

"But you're my hero..." Remus mumbled. When he saw Sirius stop shifting in favor of gazing deeply into his eyes Remus felt his heart skip a beat.

"You really think that?" Sirius asked him honestly.

"Yeah. I mean... you- you're amazing." Remus explained with a small smile.

"You're pure perfection." Sirius whispered truthfully before he lifted Remus' hand to kiss the override softly. "And I love you." He smiled.

Remus felt his heart almost hurt from the affection he felt for Sirius right there. He opened and closed his mouth, at a loss for any words that could explain the strong love for Sirius. He felt his entire body erupt in a giddy happiness when Sirius planted another kiss on his hand, and then he decided the best action to relay his love was to kiss Sirius back.

So Remus kissed Sirius on the lips again. When he broke the kiss the both of them were smiling happily at each other.

"Time to head back?" Sirius asked with a wink as he gripped Remus' hand in his.

"Afraid so." Remus kissed Sirius' cheek quickly before he rose up from the grass and watched as Sirius got up after him. Hand in hand they started their way back to the tent-camp. And just like on their way to the secret spot their shoulders occasionally bumped together, theirs hands tugged on each other and they stopped to steal a kiss from the other every twenty meters or so.

By the time Remus could make out the faint light coming from the dying bonfire though the trees in front of them he was ready to burst from giddy happiness. And that with the fact that Sirius just had told him a funny joke about Wormtail losing his swimming trunks in the lake when the girls were watching made Remus struggle to suppress a mad laughter.

He snickered twice, but then he heard the first chuckle escape him and he stopped walking. He had to stop laughing or they were certain to wake up the others sleeping in the tents by the camp.

"Want to hear another Wormtail joke?" Sirius whispered in Remus' ear, making him squirm from the shiver that shook him. He shook his head vigorously, but felt himself release another chuckle when he heard Sirius snicker next to him.

When Sirius pulled him in for a quick kiss Remus giggled. Suddenly the mixture of their sneaking out in the middle of the night, the Wormtail-jokes and his exhaustion after a long day made it impossible for him to stop laughing.

"Shh," Sirius scolded him, his index finger pressing over his lips, but Remus saw him laughing harder by the second as well. And when Remus got a look of Sirius' face constricted in a funny grimace as he struggled to suppress his laughter Remus felt himself let out a loud giggle.

Sirius pulled him in for a hug, but he struggled to return the embrace as he wrapped his arms around his stomach that hurt from the mad giggling.

"H-head back?" Remus managed in between chuckles. Sirius nodded but burst out chuckling again when he glanced though the trees on the camp. Looking over his shoulder, Remus saw the deadly silent camp and for some reason that made him laugh harder.

If they headed back they had to be quiet. They had to stop laughing and that notion only made them both laugh more.

"Try not to laugh." Sirius whispered at him before a weird, and incredibly hilarious, noise made it out his throat as he fought the chuckles. Remus slammed a hand over his mouth and felt his stomach hurt.

Sirius broke their half-hug, half-standing-close-to-each-other and started walking them over to the tent-camp. Sirius' grip on Remus' hand tightened as he peeked through the trees. When he thought the course was clear they stepped though the shadows of the trees and headed for their tent.

They made their way over to the tent with a hand clasped over their mouths each, both struggling not to laugh. They made it to their tent and Sirius was just about to reach for the zipper when they heard someone clear their throat behind them warningly.

Remus froze.

Damn it, he thought. He'd been too focused not to make any sounds to really listen or look around if there was anyone around to see them. Though, he thought Sirius had checked the course was clear before they emerged from the trees only moments ago.

"Well, well. What have we here?" A voice purred viciously from right behind them.

Slowly turning around Remus recognized who the voice belonged to. Filch.

"Sir." Remus nodded at him. He wondered if Filch would believe any excuses they told him.

"Don't give me that. Tell me what you troublemakers are doing outside of the tent at one in the morning. Quickly!" Filch spat, his eyes glaring at them.

Remus saw Filch lift a torch that he purposely let point Remus directly in the eyes, blinding him and making him grimace as he desperately lifted his hands to cover his eyes from the light.

"I dropped something before." Remus said as a matter of fact at the same time Sirius said "Had to go to the loo."

Remus grimaced.

"The loo." Remus repeated, wanting to cling to Sirius' excuse at the same time Sirius said "His watch."

Remus winced. He didn't know whether to laugh or cry. Filch was sure to realize they'd been on to something now that they couldn't even agree on _one_ excuse.

"What?" Filch spat again before he aimed the light of the torch at Sirius instead. "What are you on about? Tell me the truth!" He urged, voice angry and loud enough to wake up the entire camp.

"I- ehm, I told you sir. I had to go to the loo, Remus went with me, on the way he dropped his watch and now we just went out to search for it." Sirius told him. Remus' raised his eyebrows. Sirius was a terrific liar; if Remus didn't know better he would believe him.

"You don't think I've heard that excuse a hundred times before? Huh!" Filch, who apparently didn't think Sirius was a brilliant liar shouted at them. Remus leaned back from where he sat on the grass. Filch looked really frightful in the darkness with his eyes sending death glares their way.

"But sir," Remus tried but was interrupted when the light flicked to blind his eyes again.

"You're going to stay silent now. So, go on, get up from the ground already and follow me." Filch urged them. Remus frowned but did as he was told.

"So, follow me to the tent over here... Punishment... Accordingly... Bastards..." Filch muttered under his breath as Remus and Sirius got up and started trailing him in the direction of the teacher's corner. Remus shared a terrified look with Sirius. Their laughing fit was long forgotten and instead replaced by a churning worry in Remus' belly.

What was Filch going to do with them?

Remus felt something brush against his right hand, glancing down he saw Sirius wrap his hand around his. Remus smiled at their clasped hands. The feel of Sirius' hand in his made him feel instantly better. Filch could punish them however he wanted but he couldn't take away the fact that Sirius made it all feel much better.

"Don't try anything funny!" Filch grunted over his shoulder at them all of a sudden. Remus jerked before he nodded at him and saw Sirius do the same. But when Filch turned his attention back to the ground Remus felt Sirius tug at his hand, and looking to his side he saw Sirius grin at him.

"Snarky old fart." Sirius mouthed before he pointed at Filch's back. Remus choked and had to slam a hand over his mouth to cover his nervous laughter.

"What was that?" Filch demanded from where he abruptly stopped in front of them.

"Er, nothing sir." Sirius mumbled as he met Filch's vicious glare with a beautiful smile. Filch grunted but then started walking again.

Remus and Sirius followed Filch until he stopped by the tent he shared with Slughorn. Remus felt Sirius give his hand a reassuring squeeze before he let go. Then the two of them watched as Filch rubbed his hands together as he thought of a fitting punishment. Filch crouched down and seemed just to be about to reach for the zipper of the tent when a voice met their ears.

"Is there a problem, Argus?"

Remus snapped his head around to locate the source of the voice. He gasped when he saw Dumbledore, with his long robes, white beard and half-moon glasses stand by their right, watching them with a kind smile on his lips. How long had he been there? And wasn't Dumbledore supposed to stay in the main building? Why did he suddenly appear _here_ , in the middle of the tent-camp, at one in the morning?

"Huh? Who said that?" Filch spat before he turned around. When he spotted Dumbledore he immediately raised back up to standing position, adjusted his clothes and cleared his throat.

"Oh, ehm, Albus." He mumbled as Dumbledore took a step closer.

"Argus, is there a problem?" Dumbledore asked again when he didn't receive and answer.

"What? No, no, not a problem here." Filch shook his head and then straightened his posture. Right then Remus thought Filch reminded him of Slughorn since he often tried to appear greater when in company with higher ups.

"If there is no problem here then will you please inform me what Mister Black and Lupin is doing in your custody in the middle of the night?" Dumbledore asked, voice light but authorities as he let a hand motion for Remus and Sirius who stared at the exchanged baffled.

"Oh, well, ehm, you see Albus. I caught these delinquents bare handed on their way back to their tent. I'm certain they'd just return after executing a prank, vandalizing the main camp or something as criminal." Filch babbled. When he was done Dumbledore nodded.

"Please tell me Argus, did Mister Black and Lupin perhaps voice a reason for their absence to you earlier?" He asked thoughtfully.

"They told me they, ehm, what was it now again... dropped a watch, or went to the loo or something. I've heard it all a hundred times before." Filch grunted as he shook his head disapprovingly. Remus could see that Filch was irritated by Dumbledore interrupting him punishing them.

Dumbledore turned his attention to Remus.

"Mister Lupin, would please be so kind to tell me why you and Mister Black here left the tent earlier tonight?" He asked curiously.

Remus swallowed. He shared a look with Sirius before he cleared his throat.

"We went to the loo sir. On the way I dropped my watch. We went to search for it just now but when we couldn't find it we decided to head back to the tent." Remus hoped his voice didn't tremble like his legs did just then. He was in a desperate need for sleep and he struggled to keep his mind alert on the conversation.

Dumbledore turned back to Filch who snarled at them, unhappy with the interruption.

"Argus, why don't you go back to bed? I fear there must have been some sort of misunderstanding going around here, or are you planning on punishing a couple of boys for them leaving their tent to tend to their needs?" Dumbledore asked briskly, lifting one eyebrow at Filch who struggled to find words.

"But, but, I _caught_ them!" Filch shouted as he glared at Dumbledore. However, Dumbledore didn't even flinch. He simply blinked at Filch and then smiled at him kindly.

"I am afraid the fact that you 'caught' them does not give you the right to punish them, Argus. Now, if you please, head back to the tent and I will lead these young men back to their tent. Good night." Dumbledore spoke, successfully putting a stop to the conversation.

Filch glared daggers at Dumbledore for a second, but then he crouched down to head back into the tent he shared with Slughorn. When he'd cradled inside and closed the opening after him Remus watched as Dumbledore turned around, facing him and Sirius with a mysterious smile.

"Thank you sir." Sirius thanked him with a relieved sigh. Dumbledore nodded at him.

"Why don't you two head back for your tent now and get yourself a good night's sleep?" Dumbledore asked them, eyes twinkling in the faint light of the moon. Sirius nodded at him vigorously, happy and relieved they wouldn't be punished by Filch.

However, Remus was too focused on something else for him to rejoice just yet.

Dumbledore smiled at him with that mysterious smile of his. Remus looked into his eyes when he saw something even more strange. Dumbledore winked at him, again.

Raising his eyebrows and then frowning Remus stared at Dumbledore who looked at back him. But after a second Dumbledore's smile turned kind and his eyes fond, the peculiar moment lay behind him as he winked them good bye and then turned around to head somewhere else.

Shaking his head Remus felt Sirius tug on his hand and then start yanking him in the direction of their tent. When they reached the tent Remus suddenly realized he still hadn't got his question about Dumbledore's sudden appearance answered. What was he doing in the forest in the middle of the night? Where was he heading now?

Remus snapped his head to the side and glanced over his shoulder. He squinted in the darkness and could make out the tents, the bonfire and Hagrid sound asleep next to it. But Dumbledore was gone. Again.

Absentmindedly Remus felt Sirius let go of his hand in favor of working on the zipper. To their relief it went down without a sound. Sirius motioned for him to cradle inside, which he did as silently as he could, and when he was inside Sirius came after him. Remus frowned when he saw that Peter and James had spread out on the ground, their limbs covering his and Sirius' side.

Remus nudged Sirius' shoulder and then they proceeded to shove James and Peter's sleeping bodies to the other side of the small tent. When Remus lied down next to Peter he used his body to push Peter into James further, making space for Sirius along the right side.

When Remus was positioned under the shared blanket he watched as Sirius zipped the entrance, and just like earlier it made a loud noise from its rusty metal, making the both of them grimace. However, this time no one woke up so Sirius quickly lied down on the ground next to Remus, not caring about the noises they made.

Remus lifted the blanket and then covered Sirius in it. He turned to his side and saw Sirius do the same. Remus smiled when Sirius wrapped an arm around him, pressing their bodies closer together in the already crowded tent.

Remus felt his last concerns about Dumbledore's odd behavior disappear to the very far back of his mind when Sirius smiled at him, his eyes glistening with emotions.

"Good night." Remus whispered to him.

"Night." Sirius whispered back.

Remus closed his eyes but opened them when he felt Sirius gentle a light kiss to his lips. He watched how Sirius slowly closed his eyes as sleep took him, and then Remus did the same.

Remus hoped to get many hours of sound sleep, though; little did he know that the whole tent-camp was doomed to wake up with the rising sun.


	21. Prank Wars

"Last one back has to kiss Wormy's hairy ass!" James exclaimed, laughing, as he started running toward their cabin.

"Hey! Don't listen to him! The last one back has to kiss Prongs' super hairy ass!" Peter shouted from where he struggled to keep up with James.

"Oh no! You coming Moony?" Sirius laughed as he gripped Remus' hand and started dragging him after him on their way to the cabins.

Remus shook his head. For a second he wondered if his parents had accidentally dropped him off at a camp for five year olds, but then he felt a smile pry on his lips. It was kind of fun after all.

"Hurry Padfoot!" He laughed before he sprinted forward, dragging Sirius along after him before he started sprinting as well. Laughing they caught up to James and Peter, and as they passed them Sirius shoved James, making him trip and stumble into Peter who fell to the ground with a squeak.

"Hey, foul play!" James shouted after them as he struggled to detangle himself from Peter who groaning rubbed the sides of his head.

"Didn't hear any rules?" Sirius mocked over his shoulder. Remus didn't know whether to scold or high five Sirius, but when he realized he'd just saved them from having to kiss James' or Peter's asses he decided for the former. So he lifted his free hand and high fived Sirius on their running march to the cabin.

When they reached the stair leading up to cabin 7 they stopped to watch as James and Peter ran on the path leading from the lake to the cabins. They ran, stumbled and walked towards the cabin, frustrated frown on James' face, unhappy pout on Peter's.

"I don't want to kiss your ass!" Peter wailed after James.

"Then _hurry up_! They haven't walked through the door yet!" James shouted at Peter over his shoulder before he sprinted for the cabin again.

Glancing over at Sirius Remus found him grinning madly. He saw Sirius unlock the door and then place his hand on the handle. Remus realized he planned on running inside just as the others reached the stairs, just to make James regret the lose more.

As James and Peter made their way over to them Remus took a moment to brush sand off his clothes. When he realized the sand had stuck to him due to fact his clothes still were damp he directed his focus on Sirius instead. He lifted his hand to brush off sand from Sirius' hair, and saw his mad grin turn into a fond smile for a second before he grinning looked over at James and Peter again.

They had spent the past days building sandcastles by the beach. It had been James idea that they could compete against each other by building the largest, sturdiest and most good looking sandcastle. So the four of them had spent the last days building up separate techniques, blending different amounts of water with sand and trying to outthink the others, the four of them all wanting to win over the others.

However, Remus had been soon to realize sandcastle building wasn't one of his talents. He had been ready to give up after the first day when every one of his 'castles'(piles of sand) fell, vaporized or melted away by waves from the lake constantly. He had given it an honest chance for a day but when his struggles only resulted in him getting frustrated he'd told the others he gave up.

Though, then Sirius had offered him help in form of personal tutoring and suddenly sandcastle building wasn't as horrible anymore.

Remus smiled smugly when he thought back of how he'd made Sirius help him with everything from holding the bucket, filling it with water and turning it upside down. Sirius' hands placed on top of his the entire time. He'd got to steal touches of Sirius and spend hours in his close proximity on the sand, and suddenly he hadn't complained about the complicated task of sandcastle building anymore.

He felt his smile grow into a grin when he thought of the fact he still couldn't remember the right techniques after all lessons he'd got from Sirius. He'd been too focused on Sirius to take in anything he said about the sand.

"Wait for me!" Peter shouted at James, snapping Remus out of his thoughts just as James reached the first step on the stairs and Sirius opened the door and flung himself inside, dragging Remus along with their clasped hands.

"We won!" Sirius laughed as he flung himself down in one of the chairs by the desk next to the door.

"No!" James wailed as he ran in after Remus. He crouched down on the floor and staged a cry dramatically. "No! I don't want to kiss Wormy's ass!"

"Sod off." Peter, having caught up to James, spoke as he dropped a handful of grass over James' hair. Remus raised his eyebrows in surprise. Where'd he got the grass from?

"Oh right. I don't have to kiss your ass. You have to kiss mine!" James teased before he jumped up and stuck his tongue out at Peter like a real five year old. Even Peter rolled his eyes at that, done with James' childishness.

Remus released Sirius' hand and was about to head for the bathroom to hog it for himself before the others remembered they were all sweaty, wet and covered with sand all over, when he felt an odd smell. He stopped in his tracks and took a testing sniff. It smelled almost like...

"Fire!"

Remus' heart jumped at Peter's scream. He turned around to search the room for the source of the 'fire' when he found it.

"What the hell?" Sirius exclaimed from where he'd got up from the chair and positioned himself next to Remus.

"The fuck?" James asked, confused, as he lifted his glasses higher on his nose. Remus felt the same. He struggled to understand what his eyes showed him.

In the middle of their floor lay a pillow, burning. Someone had broken into their room to lit one of their pillows on fire. Remus frowned. But then his eyes wandered to his bed and he felt his stomach clench.

"That's my pillow." He mumbled, earning him three sets of 'What?'

He saw Sirius start walking towards it, and when James followed after him Remus did as well. When they reached it Sirius stomped on it until the fire went out. About half of the pillow had burned up and it reeked of smoke. Remus walked away and opened the window before he joined his friends again.

"Who do you think it was?" Remus asked, but he already knew the answer.

"Rosier and Snape." Sirius and James, and Peter who walked towards them, answered at the same time. Remus sighed. Then he let his eyes wander around the room. He startled when he saw something odd with Peter's bed.

"Hey Wormtail, what's that?" He asked while he pointed at Peter's pillow where they could see something dark.

"What?" Peter asked before he made his way over to his bed.

"Ew," He complained when he reached his bed. "It's a snail."

"What?" James said in disbelief. "Has someone broken in our cabin to set Moony's pillow on fire and place a snail on your pillow? That's like the worst prank I've ever heard of! It's not even funny? It's sad!" James exclaimed as he threw his hands in the air.

"I know, right?" Sirius agreed. Remus watched as he headed for his ladder and then climbed up his bed. But as he reached his bed he screamed and then jumped back down to the floor before he ran over to clutch Remus' shirt tightly.

"There's a spider on my bed!" He screamed. Remus grimaced. Not again.

Thirty minutes later Remus had ridden Sirius' bed from the spider, Peter had thrown the snail out their window and James had found a whole snail family on his covers that he took outside. Remus had thrown the burnt pillow in the trash and then got a new from the utility room. Sirius, reluctant to return to his bed in fear of more spiders, had taken it upon himself to clean the floor from the ash and air out the room.

Remus was finally going to head for the bathroom when he saw something lie on the edge of his bed. Walking closer he saw what it was; a note.

Remus' stomach clenched in fear. Quickly, he reached for the small note and then crossed his legs under him before he hid the note in his hand as he made to read it. He unfolded it and then grimaced when he saw the handwriting. He knew it couldn't be from Lestrange since he was too old to go to the camp, but the handwriting was so similar it might've been from him. He guessed it was from either Rosier or Snape.

With his heart in his throat he read the small note.

_Don't forget that we know what you are. We are ready to expose you to the world at any moment._

_You're filthy, disgusting and a disgrace to humanity. Don't 'prank' us again or your little secret might just slip to the wrong people._

_We don't suppose you'd want for Black to get in trouble now, or would you?_

_This is a warning._

_E.R, S.S_

Remus gulped. He felt his mood drop as the creeping worry settled in his chest. He didn't know what to do. The note burned in his hand and it made him feel filthy. He felt bad now that he knew the vandalism of their cabin and insects on their beds had been his fault. It was his fault them, the marauders, were in a constant war with Rosier and Snape.

It was his fault they threatened to tell on Sirius.

"Whatcha got there Moony?"

Remus quickly hid the note by curling his hand into a fist. Glancing up he saw Sirius look at him with worry in his eyes. Had he seen the note?

"N-nothing." Remus stuttered as he forced a stiff smile.

"Open your hand. Come on." Sirius demanded as he climbed onto the bed and sat down next to Remus who felt torn between wanting to show Sirius or not. He knew it was wrong to keep secrets but he knew Sirius would get angry and possibly run around furiously before he did something stupid as revenge.

When Remus sat still with his hand clenched Sirius reached over and bent it open with both of his. Remus' hand opened easily considering he didn't use any force against Sirius' hands. He felt Sirius grunt as he saw the note.

"What's this? Another note? Is it from Rosier or Snape?" He demanded. Remus grimaced at him but after a beat of silence nodded.

"Bloody bastards." Sirius cursed before he unfolded the note to read it. Remus watched as Sirius' face went from pale to red within thirty seconds as he read the note twice. He thought Sirius seemed to vibrate with anger when he scrunched the note in his hand and then tore it to pieces in front of him.

Remus fiddled with his sleeves as he waited for Sirius to say anything. He swallowed down the lump in his throat and tried to ignore the aching in his chest that only seemed to grow. He was worried; worried Rosier and Snape was going to do something to hurt Sirius, and ultimately hurt Remus since he loved Sirius.

Frowning, Sirius rubbed his temples. Then he sighed as he turned to look Remus in the eyes. The angry red in his face faded away as Remus watched the small smile splay on his lips.

"Don't even think about it." Sirius whispered truthfully. "Don't think for a second that any of this is your fault. Don't think it's your fault if I end up in trouble, and don't for a second think we would ever stop pulling pranks on them from just one silly threat." Sirius tried to reassure Remus that still thought he could make out a lingering worry in Sirius' eyes. Sirius felt unsure as well, Remus realized. Unsure whether Rosier or Snape, or even Regulus, had told anyone of his relatives about his relationship with Remus.

Though, something told Remus he would know if they had.

"I just don't want anyone to hurt you." Remus spoke honestly before he reached over to rub Sirius' knee. "I don't want you to end up in trouble because of me. I'm not worth it." He spoke, voice breaking at the end as the lump in his throat threatened to make him cry.

"Remus. Remus look at me. You're totally worth it. You're worth everything in the world. And just for your notice; _nothing_ can hurt me as long as I have you. I told you before. You're my hero." Sirius spoke seriously. Remus gazed deeply into his eyes and felt his heart clench when he noticed how watery Sirius' eyes were.

"I-I don't want anyone to hurt you." Remus repeated, voice less than a raspy croak, but Sirius seemed to get the message.

"And no one will as long as I've got you." Sirius smiled at him just as the first tear escaped his eyes and trailed down his cheek. Remus lifted a hand and wiped the tear away with his thumb.

"I love you so much." Remus whispered as he felt a set of tears escape his eyes. His chest hurt from the love he felt for Sirius. He wanted to protect him, to shield him from the world and the threatening evils that were his relatives. He wanted to make sure Sirius would be happy for the rest of his life. Because he deserved it. He didn't deserve threats. He deserved to be loved.

"I love you too. But saying that still doesn't feel like enough." Sirius whispered softly. Remus felt his heart clench from affection again. That was what he thought as well. He loved Sirius more than words could express.

"Come here." Sirius whispered before he scooted closer. He wrapped his arms around Remus in a warm embrace and then Remus positioned himself in Sirius' lap. He leaned against Sirius, pressed his ear against his heart and listened to the steady beats of it all the while Sirius pressed light, affectionate, kisses to the top of his head.

When Sirius started planting kisses on his forehead Remus shifted so that they were nose to nose. He aimed Sirius a watery smile before he leaned forward to press a firm kiss on Sirius' moist lips. Remus pressed kiss after kiss on Sirius' lips, wanting to relay his love, and then parted his lips to suck on Sirius' lower lip.

He felt Sirius thread a hand in his hair, instantly turning his sad mood into one of excitement. Remus opened his mouth and slid his tongue between Sirius' lips and rejoiced when the tip of his tongue met with Sirius'. As they made out on the bed Remus felt all his worries fall to the floor, the only thing left in the world being him and Sirius.

"Hey, what're you- ahh!"

Reluctantly, Remus broke the kiss to send a death glare at Peter who stared them him from across the room. Remus felt Sirius release the grip on his hair and instead swipe his hand up and down Remus' his soothingly. That only made Peter's eyes widen more, in fear or curiosity Remus couldn't decide.

"Hi love pups! Are you done or are you planning on snogging some more? Because Wormy and I would prefer if we didn't have to bear witness to another snogging session." James exclaimed from where he'd stuck his head in front of Remus. It took him a second to realize James sat on the floor next to his bed. Why, he didn't know.

"I, eh, wha-" Remus started but stopped when Sirius placed a hand on his thigh.

"Thanks for asking Prongs. In fact, we're planning on snogging lots more, and if you're lucky we might just let you watch in the first row. " Sirius told James with a teasing grin. Remus heard Peter gag over at his bed, and then cough furiously. Remus would've felt bad for him if it weren't for the fact Peter fake-vomited from having seen him and Sirius. That made Remus send him another glare as he tightened his grip around Sirius.

"Really funny." James declared sarcastically. He didn't leave though.

"What was that note?" He asked, making Remus tense. He didn't want to explain it all to James. Thinking about it again only increased Remus' worrying for Sirius.

"Not a love letter for you if you thought so." Sirius joked, making Remus relax. Sirius had his back. Sirius was there to make him feel safe. Sirius was his hero.

"I mean, seriously." James rolled his eyes before he exhaled.

"I'm always serious." Sirius said, earning him three sets of groans.

"You know what I meant." James grunted, still too curious about the note to drop the issue. Though, Sirius wasn't eager on telling him.

"Yeah, but sadly the note got destroyed somehow. Really sad you didn't get to see it, but that's life." Sirius explained voice deadly serious like he wasn't the one who'd destroyed it only moments ago. James narrowed his eyes at him suspiciously but then he finally rose up from the floor and stretched.

"Fine. Don't tell me. Thought you wanted to take revenge on the horribly executed prank with the burning pillow, spider and snails but oh well..." James trailed off, eyes set on Sirius expectantly. Remus could literally hear a switch turn in Sirius at the word 'revenge'. He just hoped they wouldn't do anything dangerous, or illegal for that matter.

"Did you say _revenge_?" Sirius asked James with a mischievous glint in his eyes, smug smirk on his lips.

"You bet I did." James answered, mirroring Sirius' expression. They stared at each other for a moment and Remus could feel Sirius' breath quicken and heart beat speed up as he got excited for the mission.

Remus, still sweaty and covered with sand, released himself from Sirius' lap and finally made his way over to the bathroom while the others were too distracted to notice he hogged it for himself.

He tried not to feel offended when Peter dodged his gaze as he passed by him.

He was probably just jealous.

'''''''''

"Should I put it all on Snivellus pillow or leave some for Rosier as well?" James asked Remus and Sirius who held the buckets in front of him. Remus scrunched up his nose in disgust when he saw the white and black dollops of bird poop in James' plastic bag-covered hand.

"Save some for Rosier as well." Sirius advised him with a grim grin.

Remus thought Sirius and James had taken it a bit too far when they started suggesting they smear dog poop on Snape's pillow. Luckily, they hadn't found any in the forest but that hadn't stopped the idea since James had found a birds nest almost instantly where he'd found bird poop.

As Remus now watched James smear bird poop on Snape's pillow he was torn between feeling disgusted from the lengths they took when it came for revenge or to feel done with their constant childishness. But most of all he felt sick from the stench.

"Padfoot you go on to phase two now." James instructed Sirius before he checked with Peter that no one headed back to cabin 8.

Remus watched as Sirius took of the lids to the two buckets and then climbed up the ladder to empty one of the contents over the bed. Remus wondered why James and Sirius still thought doing literally the same prank for years still felt fun when they complained about Rosier and Snape's originality. But on the other side Remus actually thought it was hilarious, even though he still felt a tad worried about them telling about Sirius to his family.

James turned the plastic bag inside out before he tucked it under Snape's pillow with a revengeful chuckle. Then he took the second bucket from Remus and emptied it over the bed. Remus grimaced when he saw the mixture of mud, seaweed and some dead, mushed worms James had found in the forest earlier. He'd suggested they added some snails and spiders to the mixture as well but that's where Sirius had drawn the line. They were not going to take after their enemies. (Plus the fact that Sirius was terrified of bugs.)

"Done?" Remus asked when James and Sirius returned with empty buckets and smug grins. Remus took the basked from James when he handed it to him and was about to advise them to head back when he saw James whisper something to Sirius, making his face turn smug.

"What are you doing? What did you whisper to Padfoot?" Remus asked curiously but none of them answered him. Instead they checked the course was still clear with Peter that nodded. Then Remus watched as Sirius opened one of the wardrobes and started pulling out the clothes, throwing them on the floor. Next to him James fiddled with one of his pockets until he brought out matches. That's when Remus understood.

They were going to set Snape's clothes on fire.

"Wait! Stop, _stop_!" Remus demanded as he dropped the bucket on the ground. He walked up to Sirius and gripped his hand, and then walked over to James where he gripped his wrist. He gave them a stern glance both before he spoke.

"What the hell do you think you're doing?" He scolded.

"Getting revenge? What else?" James said with a huff from where he tried to free his wrist from Remus' stern grip.

"Sirius?" Remus directed the question to Sirius instead since he actually seemed to have the sanity to look remorseful.

"Ehm... taking revenge? For you, us?" Sirius piped. Remus scowled at him disappointedly. Didn't Sirius and James understand they were taking this too far? That doing this wasn't just doing a 'prank' but actually could result in them getting in some real trouble?

"Don't you think you're taking this too far? I mean, _burn_ someone's clothes up? What the hell are you thinking?" Remus shouted mostly at James, not wanting to hurt Sirius' feelings.

"We- we weren't thinking..." Sirius piped, sounding like a child that just got yelled at. Remus' heart ached inside but he knew he had to do this. He had to teach them the difference between simple fun and too much; that there was a line.

"Do you realize that if you were to burn up Snape's clothes and he told Slughorn we could all get thrown out? Do you want that?" Remus asked James again. He'd stopped struggling against Remus now and instead stared at the floor. He actually looked ashamed. Remus felt a small bubble of hope rise in his chest. If they already understood then he wouldn't have to do this anymore.

"There's a difference between playing a clever prank and being straight up evil. I hope you understand that." Remus told them, voice determined and stern as he first stared at James, then at Sirius.

Remus felt his heart ache when he saw Sirius pout at him, his expression hurt, looking wounded. Remus sighed sadly and then started stroking the over side of Sirius' hand with his thumb. That made Sirius' eyes look slightly less hurt.

"I'm sorry Remus." Sirius whispered while doing his puppy-dog-eyes. Remus felt his heart melt and suddenly the little mishap didn't matter anymore. It belonged in the past and wouldn't bother them anymore since Sirius understood. Remus knew Sirius wouldn't do it again now that he knew Remus didn't approve of it.

"It's okay Padfoot. As long as you understand what I mean." Remus smiled at Sirius, and when Sirius grinned back at him Remus felt his smile change into a grin as well. Then Sirius tugged on their clasped hands and wrapped Remus in a tight hug. Remus dropped James' wrist in favor of wrapping his arms around Sirius' waist.

"Sorry Moony." James spoke right before he broke out in a happy laughter.

Remus frowned from where he'd leaned his head against Sirius' neck. Here he was, trying to enjoy his nice hug with Sirius as they made up, and James laughed at them?

"What's so funny, grass eater?" Sirius warned.

"I- I don't know. Nothing and everything? Just; you turned from mischievous prankster, to sad puppy, to lovesick fool in what, ten seconds?" James laughed. Remus didn't know whether to feel offended or not. Was he making fun of Sirius?

"I don't want to interrupt all the fun but I think people will head back soon. Some already left the main building; they'll probably be back soon. So if you still plan to burn their clothes up or something you need to hurry!" Peter hissed at them from where he stood by the door, peeking through the gap.

Remus raised his eyebrows in surprise. It might come off as mean, but he had actually forgotten Peter was with them for a second there.

Remus let go of Sirius in favor of collecting the lids from the floor. Meanwhile he ordered for James and Sirius to put back the clothes in the wardrobe which they did immediately. Then Remus was about to tell them to finally head back when he saw James crouch down by the mat with a match between his fingers. Remus frowned at him.

"James, that's vandalism of the camp's furniture. If you light it on fire you'll literally be considered a criminal." Remus tried to scare him into dropping the match, but he didn't. Instead he narrowed his eyes at Remus.

"Don't you want revenge?" He asked.

Remus rolled his eyes. "I thought I just got revenge when you emptied bucketful's of junk onto Rosier and Snape's beds?" He said.

"I know, but they- they burned your pillow for Merlin's sake! Don't you want to revenge your pillow?" James asked dramatically. Remus shook his head.

"No, it was just a pillow. And it wasn't even that comfortable anyway." Remus added just for good measure.

Remus and James bickered for a while longer until Peter told them they probably should head back now. Then Sirius suggested they took some of the mud they could light on fire since it didn't belong either to the camp or any of the campers. When Remus couldn't find any reasons not to Sirius and James scooped up a pile of mud and placed in in the middle of the room, a bit from the mat. Rummaging through his pockets James found a napkin he added to the pile as well.

James was just about to light the fire when Sirius told him to stop.

"Again!?" James shouted exasperatedly. Remus almost felt pity for him, but instead he watched as Sirius walked over to him with an expression that shifted from determined and uneasy.

"Moony, don't you think we should leave them a little message, hm?" Sirius asked as he passed Remus on his way over to the desk by the door. Remus followed him and watched as Sirius ripped of a piece of a paper and then reached for a pen.

"Perhaps," Remus trailed off. He saw Sirius start writing and read as he wrote.

_Dear Rosier and Snape_

_You are officially the two biggest shitheads on the camp - or wait, the earth._

_We're not afraid of you. In fact, you make us laugh. You're so repelling it's hilarious._

_Try better next time._

_Sincerely,_

_B & L_

_(PS. We scented your pillows with a brand new perfume called 'Birdeu shiteu'. Think its French.)_

"Sirius!" Remus gasped when he'd read the note. He didn't know whether to laugh at how brilliant it was, or cry in fear of what their enemies might do when they read it.

"Relax Moony, it'll be great." Sirius chuckled before he got up from the chair to pat Remus on the back reassuringly. Remus smiled at him weakly, not sure if he agreed or not.

He watched as Sirius placed the note on Snape's nightstand, under a glass of water, and then made thumbs up to James who finally got to light his match. When James had lit the mud and napkin on fire the three of them took the buckets and walked over to Peter who nearly had fallen asleep from where he'd kept watch by the door for so long.

Peter peeked through the door one final time before he opened it for the others to pass through. When they were outside Remus locked the door behind them and they were off to the beach where they dropped off the buckets and relished in the fact that the mission was a success.

Then they headed back for cabin 7 to rest before dinner. Remus rejoiced when Sirius joined him in his bed, legs and arms tangled together in a wonderful mess as they dozed off in the afternoon sun.

''''''''''

"Evans! Hey, Evans! Sit over here!" James shouted, waving his hands in the air.

"Hey, Wormy scoot over, you're sitting on Evans seat." James hushed as he forcefully shoved a squeaking Peter off the tree trunk from where they were sitting around the bonfire. Slughorn had invited McGonagall and her ladies from the girl's camp over across the lake and James was a tad too eager to gain Lily's attention in Remus' opinion.

"Over here!" James shouted at Lily with a grin as he waved a hand in the air. Glancing up from his and Sirius' clasped hands Remus saw Lily walk towards them, facial expression shifting between embarrassed and annoyed.

"Stop pushing me, I'm moving already!" Peter declared before he got up and sat down on the other side of James. That left the seat between James and Remus empty and apparently Lily found that just great since she almost ran the last meters until she slumped down on the seat.

"Hi Evans! I-" James started.

"Hi Remus!" Lily exclaimed cheerfully as she turned her attention to him. Remus had to suppress a chuckle when he saw James' offended look over her shoulder. This was not what James had hoped for.

"Hello Lily." Remus smiled at her kindly. When she extended her right hand he extended his and they did their secret handshake. Glancing over Lily's shoulder Remus saw James nearly steaming from jealously so he quickly retreated his hand again.

"Did I miss something?" Lily asked Remus, her brilliant green eyes glowing with curiosity. When Remus frowned at her, feeling confused, she lifted a hand to brush her red hair off her shoulder before she winked at him "You and Black are holding hands...?"

"Oh," Remus felt his cheeks heat up when he got what she meant. He hadn't told Lily that he and Sirius got together yet.

"Got a problem with that?" Sirius suddenly spoke up, making Remus turn his head to the side to look at him just as he felt him tighten his grip around his hand and then press their clasped hands against his chest protectively.

"No, no!"" Lily hurried to say while shaking her head, making her long hair fly around her, also making James gape and gaze at her in awe.

"Good." Sirius warned.

Remus tsked at him before he jabbed Sirius' shoulder with his free hand playfully. He looked him in the eyes to give him at stern glance but it turned into a happy grin when he saw Sirius smile at him sheepishly.

"I'm happy for you Remus." Lily said, turning his attention back to her. "I knew it would all turn out for the best." She said, voice both serious and happy as she squeezed Remus knee once. "Now you can put those catastrophe dates with the girls back home behind you."

"Lily!" Remus hissed. She had promised not to mention them ever again. Not that Remus had done more than grimace at the whole total of two girls he'd dated, but still. Sirius might get the wrong idea. Sirius might forget that he had always been the one for Remus.

"Ha ha, sorry." Lily laughed, shrugging, not looking sorry at all. In fact, she looked smug.

"What are these 'dates' I've never heard of before?" Sirius asked, teasing Remus.

"Nothing." He said and almost wanted to strangle Lily when she opened her mouth to reveal it all for Sirius.

"You see, I set Remus up with a couple of my best friends back at home, hoping for him to get out of his sulking. But when the dates ended in disaster Remus told me to stop trying to set him up and he went back to sulking again. Lovely story, isn't it? Bet it will be a classic later." Lily joked, earning her a grunt from Remus. He pinched the bare skin on her arm as punishment for her telling when she'd promised not to.

"A terrific story." Sirius added with a light laugh from where he'd leaned his chin on Remus' shoulder. "But it would've been better if Remus wasn't sulking." He pouted and then glanced up at Remus who frowned at him. He didn't know if he was ready to joke about his two years of suffering yet. He'd mourned his loss of Sirius during those years. He'd felt devastated. It still felt too fresh to put behind him.

"Come on Remus, admit that it's fun." Lily rolled her eyes at him. "You're too serious." She said while as she raised her eyebrows at him, judging him.

"That's my name." Sirius joked, making Remus, and James and Peter who had eavesdropped on the conversation all sigh at him. They would never hear the end of that joke. Still, Remus found it a bit amusing.

"Oh. Right." Lily shook her head, scolding herself of her slip up.

"I'm serious." Sirius told her cheerfully and Remus could feel the grin against his chin before Sirius leaned back some to lean his head against Remus' shoulder.

"We know!" James told them before he sighed again over dramatically. Sirius snickered at him.

Remus chatted with Lily a while longer but when she spotted two of her friends from the girl's camp, Mary and Marlene if Remus remembered their names correctly, she excused herself and made to stand up. However, James immediately shoved Peter so he fell on the ground and then moved so much to his right that there were two new seats between him and Lily.

"Please sit here!" James pleaded to the approaching girls. Lily opened her mouth to briskly decline but before she had time to voice her opinion the girls nodded and sat down on the seats next to James who visibly relaxed again. Remus felt pity for him. He had it so bad for Lily.

"Want a marshmallow?" Sirius asked, making Remus turn his attention back to him.

"Sure." He smiled.

He felt his heart skip a beat when Sirius handed him a marshmallow, making their fingers brush against each other. Even though their thighs lay pressed against each other and Remus' left and Sirius' right hand lay clasped between them Remus felt a giddy smile tug on his lips from the brief brushing of their fingers. And his heart jumped again when he saw Sirius wink at him. And then he felt it positively _melt_ when Sirius flashed him a brilliant grin.

God. Sirius was too beautiful.

"Are you going to hand over the marshmallows or what?"

Remus snapped out of his Sirius-admiration-frenzy when Lily reached an arm out in front of him. Remus jerked but then relaxed when he saw the hand going for the bag of marshmallows in Sirius' lap.

"Hey, wait for your turn! I'm not done with them yet." Sirius said at the same time he buried his hand in the bag and then retrieved it with a fistful of marshmallows.

"Now you are." Lily told him before she snatched the bag from him. "Here's the bag Mary. I don't know if there's any left for us though. Black over there snatched half the content for himself." Lily told them, voice serious and loud enough for Sirius to hear. Though, Remus that had known Lily for the longest time could hear the playfulness in it. She meant no harm; she merely joked.

"Don't get what Prongs sees in her..." Sirius muttered under his breath.

"Same." Remus said just to agree with Sirius and try to calm him down. It seemed to work since Sirius immediately cheered up, leaned back, turned to his side and flashed him a grin.

"Want to grill some marshmallows over the fire?" He asked.

Remus agreed and then they were off to search the ground for suitable sticks they could use.

Then Remus grilled marshmallows with Sirius with their thighs pressing together, shoulders bumping every other second, and Sirius' close proximity both calming and exciting Remus at the same time.


	22. Team

"I'm teaming with Remus!" Sirius exclaimed excitedly as he draped an arm over Remus' shoulders. Remus lifted a hand to ruffle Sirius' hair, huffing. As if anyone else would challenge Sirius on building a team with him.

"That came as a surprise." James mumbled ironically as he rolled his eyes.

"Says the one who spent the last ten minutes begging Evans to build a team with you." Sirius mocked James who looked insulted.

"Mary and I are a team." Came Peter's voice all of a sudden.

Remus turned around and saw that he'd walked up to them, Mary trailing right after him. Remus raised his eyebrows at them. For some reason he hadn't thought of the fact that Peter might want to team up with a girl.

"Good for you Wormy." Sirius told him before he patted him on the back with his free hand. "Moony and I are going to win though." He added, earning him a glare from Peter who shook Sirius' hand off him.

"We'll see what you say in five minutes you two will be found first of all." Peter said and then he was off before Sirius had any time for comebacks.

"Cocky brat," Sirius muttered under his breath. Remus swiped an arm across his back to make him relax. It worked.

As Remus soothed Sirius he let his eyes wander around the clearing. They had gathered in the same clearing where they'd camped in the tents about a week earlier. Though, this time they weren't camping. They were about to play a very serious game of hide and seek.

James had been the one to initiate the game, and invented the new rule that they were supposed to play in teams. Remus strongly suspected it was because James wanted a reason to team up with Lily who immediately had asked Mary to team up with her. But since Mary teamed with Peter Lily had actually felt obligated to team up with James who begged and begged for her to build a team with him.

Lily had grunted and complained all the way from the bonfire to the forest, but if Remus was honest he didn't think she looked as irritated as she made to be. In fact she actually seemed to look forward to the game. Perhaps she really was softening up to James after all.

When Remus heard approaching footsteps from behind he looked over his shoulder and saw four approaching figures heading towards them. When they got closer he saw James walk with three other's he remembered as the Prewett twins from cabin 8 and Rebecka from the girl's camp.

Remus frowned at the Prewett's and Rebecka as he felt confused about their presence. However, then he remembered they were an uneven number of players and that James had ran back to the bonfire to gather some more players. Now that they were an even number, ten players, they could go on with the game.

Fabian and Gideon teamed together and Marlene and Rebecka built a team as well. Then the five teams were done and James took the role as the leader of the game. He placed himself in front of the small crowd and then told them the rules.

Remus felt too distracted by Sirius, who decided to take that moment to press a kiss to his ear, to really hear what James was saying, but he managed to make out the most important parts.

One team counted to thirty while the other ones hid in the surroundings around them. When the counting team has counted to thirty they are going to search for the others that hide around them. The team that gets find first will count the next time, and the team that gets find the last wins a point. The team with the most points after one hour wins.

Remus was about to ask James why the team-aspect was necessary, but when he felt Sirius plant another kiss to his ear he swallowed his question. Suddenly the game wasn't as important anymore. Instead he found himself wondering if he and Sirius could sneak away unnoticed...

"Hey, Moony. I have an idea." Sirius whispered in his ear, making him shiver. He nodded vigorously and hoped the 'idea' had something to do with the two of them hugging, kissing or pressing their bodies together.

"When they start counting follow me and stay as silent as possible." Sirius whispered, making Remus shiver again. His heart skipped a beat and his stomach churned with anticipation. Where was Sirius planning on taking him? 

Remus glanced to the side and saw Sirius smirk at him, making Remus bite his lips, and curl his hands into fists not to lean forward and snog Sirius senseless right there and then. I have to wait, he told himself. Wait until we're alone.

"Alright, all teams ready? Evans and I can start counting if you're ready." James bellowed in the clearing. Remus thought he must have missed when they decided who to start counting first but it didn't really matter. As long as he could sneak away with Sirius.

"The lake, beach, cabins and main building are of limits. You are only allowed to hide in the forest and stay at the same spot the entire time. If Evans or I find out you've cheated you'll be disqualified. Alright?" James stared at everyone in front of him, making sure they got the rules. However, as his eyes swept over Sirius and Remus they narrowed suspiciously. Remus stared at the ground and tried to look as innocent as possible but was certain Sirius probably smirked at James, challenging him.

"Okay, Evans you ready?" James asked as Remus lifted his gaze again. He saw James and Lily walk away to the ashes from the bonfire and then close their eyes when they came to a stop.

"Thirty! Twenty nine! Twenty eight!" James bellowed and Lily mumbled.

"Hurry!" Sirius hissed as the boys and girls around them ran off in to the forest in different directions. Sirius released Remus' shoulders in favor of clasping their hands together, and then he started running in the direction of the main camp, yanking Remus with him.

"But Padfoot - Sirius, the camp is off limits!" Remus hissed and then flicked his eyes to look over his shoulder. No one seemed to have heard them or seen them run off in the wrong direction.

"Says grass eater Jamie-boy." Sirius huffed just as they passed the first trees as they stepped out of the clearing and into the forest. "Come on Moony, it'll be fun!" Sirius exclaimed with an excited hiccup, the sound making Remus laugh at him.

"Yeah, yeah, alright. But if we get disqualified I'll blame it all on you." Remus said as he jumped over a root.

"Be my guest," Sirius answered with a grin just before he stalked them down to a stop to listen for any sounds. When they heard the echoing sounds of "Three! Two! One!" reach their ears they hurriedly started running again. James and Lily started searching now and Remus and Sirius hadn't even reached their hiding spot yet.

Remus started to work up a sweat from the extensive running, but he didn't complain. He could see a sheen of sweat covering Sirius' forehead as well and for some reason that turned him on really bad. Remus tore his eyes away from Sirius when he felt a certain part of his body start to get a bit too excited too fast.

Sirius led them out of the forest and then started running on the path leading up to the main building. Remus felt a thrill of nervous excitement stir in his stomach when he thought about the fact that the camp was off limits. If they got busted James was going to get really mad for them breaking the rules.

Or perhaps he wouldn't. James got to spend minutes of quality time with his precious 'Evans' after all. He probably wouldn't even care. At least that's what Remus told himself as he shrugged away his worry. He could think about the consequences later.

"Remember this place?" Sirius asked him when he skittered down to a walk as they closed in on the main building. Remus looked around them at the exterior of the great, stone building, not quite getting what Sirius meant.

"What do you mean?" He asked, raising his eyebrows at Sirius.

"That." Sirius said and then raised his free arm to point at something to their left. Looking to the side Remus felt himself gasp as the memory hit him.

The cupboard.

"I can't believe you remembered that." Remus exclaimed, baffled, as they stepped closer to the small cupboard. It had seemed loads bigger when they were eleven.

"How could I forget about my first kiss with the love of my live?" Sirius asked, successfully shocking the air out of Remus.

"W-what?" He sputtered.

"You heard me." Sirius smiled at him before he lifted his free hand to caress Remus' cheek.

"And by the way, now that I think about it, didn't Prongs try to set us up back then?" He said as he gazed longingly into Remus' eyes.

Remus stayed silent, the lump of his love for Sirius stuck in his throat. He didn't know what to say. He was so touched by the fact it had been Sirius' first kiss as well. And Sirius had just called him the love of his life.

Remus was ready to faint from sappy happiness.

"I love you." Remus cried before he wrapped his free arm around Sirius to pull him in for a kiss. Remus pressed his lips against Sirius' desperately as he tried to express the extensive love he felt for him.

He felt Sirius let go of his hand in favor of lacing them around his waist, pulling them even closer together. Remus lifted his free hand to caress Sirius' hair, and then parted his lips to deepen the kiss further.

When their tongues met Remus felt his stomach churn with desire, and his heart tried to beat out of his chest as it rejoiced from kissing Sirius. Remus was driven by the want to be close to Sirius, press himself against him, want to become a part on him. The desire urged him on, and not sure what to do he took a risk and jumped on the spot and then locked his legs behind Sirius' back. Sirius was quick to place his hands under Remus' bum, supporting him and successfully helping Remus straddle him more firmly.

Remus felt Sirius start stumbling for the nearest wall, and then stop when he leaned his back against it. Well in the new position Remus lifted his hands to cup Sirius' face, and then helped him tilt his head as Remus desperately kissed him. He felt a powerful lust take over him and the only thing he knew was that he _had_ to kiss Sirius.

Absentmindedly Remus felt Sirius swipe his back against the wall, slowly moving them to the edge of the main building. Then Remus felt one of the hands supporting him let go before he heard a door swung open.

"It's a lot smaller than I remembered it." Sirius breathed when he broke the kiss. Squinting, Remus looked behind Sirius and saw the small cupboard, this time with the door opened.

"That's our hiding spot?" Remus panted.

"Think it's too narrow?" Sirius asked.

"No. We'll manage to squeeze inside." Remus told him, feeling incredibly excited. The hiding spot seemed perfect all of a sudden. It was both on the camp, which was off limits, and it seemed way too small to fit both Remus and Sirius inside. James and Lily would never find them. Remus could kiss Sirius all evening.

Remus held the door open as Sirius returned his hand to support his bum. Sirius then took a step inside and bent forward and warned Remus to watch his head as he took them inside.

If the cupboard had seemed small on the outside it was nothing compared with the inside. Sirius let Remus down on the floor since it got too crowded. When they'd both stood up straight with them pressing their bodies together they could feel the ceiling brush against the top of their heads and could just barely move their arms around them.

"Cozy," Sirius grinned at Remus before he with effort managed to reach out and close the door. The cupboard immediately got pitch dark, save from a small string of light coming from a whole in the ceiling. Remus glanced up at Sirius' silver glistening eyes for a second, then quickly moved forward to kiss Sirius again.

Remus lowered his hands until he found the hem of Sirius' shirt. He snaked his hands under it and then swiped them up the warm skin of his back. Remus let his fingers touch every last inch of his back before he lowered them to press against his buttocks.

Remus smiled into the kiss when he heard Sirius voice a small moan. Remus felt giddy with excitement, and his stomach was ready to explode from fluttering butterflies when he felt Sirius let one of his hands come down to squeeze his left buttock. Then he felt Sirius other hand snake its way to palm his groin, making him involuntarily gasp into the kiss. Sirius rubbed his palm against him until Remus' grip on his buttocks got almost painful.

Then Remus felt Sirius' hand slip away from his groin and instead settle on his right buttock, giving it a hard squeeze, sending a spark of arousal to his groin that perked visibly.

Remus kissed Sirius with fervor and felt Sirius answer him just as eagerly. The small cupboard felt nearly magical; it was if they were in a world of their own where no one could see or hear them. Remus never wanted to leave it. He kissed Sirius and tried to thank him for his great initiative, all the while they pressed their bodies tightly together.

When they had to break for air Remus felt Sirius purposely breathe down his ear, making him shiver. Then he felt Sirius start planting kisses along his neck before he begun sucking on it. Remus was left to pant, or let slip small cries as he relished in the feeling of Sirius sucking on the skin of his sensitive neck. He really loved when he did that.

Remus felt himself growing harder by the minute, and as he let his right leg press in-between Sirius', making him groan, he felt Sirius was growing hard as well. And with that new information Remus steadied his grip around Sirius' ass and then pressed them closer together, successfully making their bulges collide.

"Ah," Sirius gasped at the contact, Remus' neck forgotten as he panting tried to suppress a moan.

"Kiss me," Remus breathed and it didn't take a second before Sirius' lips were on him again, kissing him with fervor.

The kiss turned hungry as they started rubbing their groins against each other, faster and harder as the kiss turned sloppy. Remus felt the wonderful heat build up in his lower abdomen and wave after wave of pleasure hit him as Sirius moved his body against him. Remus got dizzy with desire as he lifted his hands from Sirius' bum to wrap around his neck, trying to deepen the kiss. He could feel Sirius' hard erection press against him, making him mad with desire, urging him on to press himself closer.

Then Remus felt Sirius deliver a particularly hard thrust that made the both of them break the kiss as they moaned out loud. Remus pressed his forehead against Sirius', feeling dizzy, sweaty and extremely aroused as he could feel and smell Sirius everywhere, when suddenly the door flung open.

"Found you- ahh!"

The door slammed shut again as Remus and Sirius jumped in surprise. Remus would've taken a couple of steps away from Sirius but it was impossible in the small cupboard, so instead he was left to press his hand against Sirius' chest to try and create some distance between them.

"Bugger," Sirius sighed, his breath fanning over Remus' fringe, making him shot Sirius a look of pure desire. He opted if he could forget about the interruption and start where they took off again, but then he heard the voice outside the door speak up again.

"Please come out of the cupboard! You've been found!" James shouted, probably with his mouth pressed to the door if the sound was anything to go by. Remus sighed and Sirius grunted, sounding irritated.

"Go away!" Sirius shouted before he hit the door, making James shriek from outside.

"No, you come out! We've searched through the whole camp for you two you know! Didn't you hear the main building was off limits?" James scolded them as he opened the door, blinding Remus and Sirius with the evening light that seemed as bright as a day after the pitch dark cupboard.

"Had fun?" Remus heard Lily ask when he struggled to make his way out of the crowded cupboard. Looking at her he saw she was smirking at him, one of her eyebrows quirked at him curiously. He felt his cheeks burn from embarrassment.

"Had the time of our lives until you had to interrupt it." Sirius grunted under his breath, making Lily and James both roll their eyes at him.

"I didn't ask _you_." Lily said to Sirius, crossing her arms over her chest. Sirius looked over at Remus and James for back up but when none of them said anything he was left to mumble insults under his breath as he stumbled out of the small cupboard at the same time as Remus.

"Ow, watch out," James grunted when Sirius stumbled into him, probably on purpose since he wore a smug grin on his lips.

"So, are we disqualified now or what?" Remus asked while he adjusted his clothes and tried to cover his visible erection by positioning himself behind Sirius who changed from one foot to another suspiciously. Remus saw Lily narrow her eyes at them but luckily she stayed silent.

"No. We actually started looking for you first. You're the first pair we've found, so you're the next to count and search." James explained with a smug smile.

Remus and Sirius both groaned. All they wanted was to sneak away to get some more time for themselves again but now they would need to play at least for another round.

"Wanker." Sirius grunted as he jabbed James in the chest with his hand.

"By the look of it there is a wanker among us, but it's not me." James said as he raised his eyebrows. Remus frowned at him but then he watched as James raised his hand to point in between Sirius' legs.

"Had a good time?" James laughed and that's when Remus remembered that Sirius' erection probably was still visible as well.

Remus felt his entire face burn from embarrassment, and it got worse when Lily and James started laughing at them. Remus pressed his burning face to Sirius' shoulder, closed his eyes and desperately wished for James and Lily to go away. Why couldn't they leave them alone? Why the hell had they searched for them first on purpose?

"Sod off." Sirius grunted before he turned around to envelope Remus in a hug. Remus clung to him, closed his eyes, tried to ignore James and Lily's amused chuckles.

"Go back without us, we're dropping out." Sirius told James and Lily over his shoulder. Though, looking up Remus saw that they didn't even flinch at his statement.

"Sorry you can't." James sang before he took a step forward, gripped Sirius' collar and pulled him away from Remus. "You're coming with us now." James said as he dragged Sirius further away from Remus until Sirius managed to shake James' hand off him.

"Okay, fine. Come on Rem. We can always sneak away again." Sirius said, sounding a mixture of disappointed and irritated, as he walked up to Remus to drape an arm over his shoulders.

"No, you'll help us search for the other teams. Then it's your turn to count." James told them while he closed the door to the cupboard and then started his way back on the path. Lily joined him and after her a very reluctant Remus and frustrated Sirius, both struggling to walk straight due to the tightness of their pants.

"We need to hurry! There's only forty minutes left!" Lily shouted after having checked her watch. She and James then took off running, Sirius immediately turning him and Remus around to head back for the cupboard. But then they heard James shout "I saw that! Get back here already!" and they reluctantly started trailing after James and Lily again.

"Later." Sirius told Remus as they walked on the path. "We'll take off where we stopped later." He said, eyes searching Remus' for an answer.

"Later." Remus repeated with a smile. "Promise?"

"Promise." Sirius said with a smile of his own right before he lifted his hand to ruffle Remus' hair, making the butterflies in Remus' stomach flutter like mad.

Later, Remus thought. Later I will get to kiss Sirius again.

'''''''''

"What's this? Apple juice!? We can't get drunk on _that_!" Rebecka complained with the loud, screeching voice of hers that echoed through the clearing. Remus grimaced at her. He wasn't particularly fond of her.

"That's the strongest thing I found when I raid the kitchens earlier." James shrugged. Rebecka glared at him.

"But what's the point in playing if we won't get drunk?" She demanded, looked around the circle of boys and girls for someone to agree with her. When no one did she crossed her arms over her chest defiantly and raised her chin in the air.

"If you don't want to play with apple juice you are free to leave. No one's holding you hostage or anything." James told her with a glare of his own. Remus knew that James loved to plan and execute games, but despised if anyone called him out for making up stupid ideas or bad game plans. And right now Rebecka did both.

"I'm staying." Rebecka mumbled. It was obvious she only wanted to complain to get attention; she never planned on leaving the game. Remus rolled his eyes at her. Drama queen.

"Okay since Wormy, I mean Peter, and Mary won the game of hide and seek earlier they get to decide who to start and the rules." James told the group. He looked a bit disappointed for not being the one to make up the rules though.

Remus looked past Sirius, who sat nearly in his lap, at Peter and Mary who whispered something between them. Then Peter cleared his throat and looked at James who'd moved from the middle of the circle to place himself in it, in between Lily and Fabian.

"Mary and I have decided to let you make up the rules Prongs. Since you were the one to initiate the game, raid the kitchens and all." Peter shrugged in an act of nonchalance. But when he saw James' face light up Peter got a proud grin on his face. He really liked to make James happy.

"Thanks Wormy! Knew I could trust you!" James chirped before he flung himself at Peter in a hug. When Peter wrestled James off him James sat down in the middle of the circle again, laughing as he told them about the rules of the game.

They were going to play a game called 'Never have I ever', and apparently the players were supposed to get drunk while playing it. However, considering James only had found apple juice in the kitchens some of the others felt a bit robbed, or even disappointed. But Remus felt the opposite. He was happy about the fact James hadn't found the alcohol. After all, it reminded him of his mad uncle that used to hurt his children and Remus when drunk.

No, Remus never wanted to see another bottle of the poison ever in his life. That's also why he felt so angry about Rebecka. She had probably never had to witness the side effects of the drink, only focusing on how 'fun' it would be.

"We'll go in a circle; fair Miss Evans may start if she pleases," James turned around to blow Lily a kiss to which she rolled her eyes. "And then one person will say something they've never done, but if someone among us has done it they need to drink." James looked everyone in the eyes ones, and Remus and Sirius twice, before he went on with the explanation.

"If you don't drink even though you should you're cheating. And if anyone notices you're cheating you'll be disqualified. Alright? James asked.

Everyone nodded, save Remus and Sirius who both snorted at James. As if he would disqualify anyone after he'd just caught Remus and Sirius breaking several rules but didn't disqualify them.

"Does Messer Padfoot have anything to add?" James asked as he quirked an eyebrow at Sirius, making the others turn their heads to look at him.

"Nope." He smirked at James. They stared into each other's eyes, challenging each other, for a moment until they heard Peter stage a series of coughs. Then James shook his head and went on with the explanation.

"I found four bottles of apple juice; if we run out we can just drink water or pretend to drink or something." James shrugged, and Remus was about to agree with him when he heard Rebecka whisper complaints to Marlene who sat next to her.

Remus stared at Rebecka, told Sirius to do the same and when James did as well she soon stopped whispering and instead started fiddling with the locks of her hair nervously.

"Okay. We'll play for as long the apple juice lasts, as long as it's fun or for two hours since McGonagall probably will head back to the camp by them. Alright?"

Remus groaned. Two hours? That felt like a lifetime.

Apparently Sirius felt the same since he voiced a groan himself, and then lowered his arm around Remus' shoulders to come down and wrap around his waist. Remus felt his heart jump at the gesture, his whole body screaming for him to grab Sirius and drag him to the closest cupboard and finish what they started.

But no. Immediately after the hour of hide and seek was done James had stopped them from sneaking away again, proclaiming that marauders stay together. And of course the fact that Lily probably would leave as soon as Remus did, since she didn't feel like being totally left alone with James again, made Remus feel obligated to stay.

So Remus and Sirius had more or less been threatened into staying, and that's how Remus now found himself sitting in the circle with Sirius pressed up against his side. The boys and girls around them were the same that played hide and seek with them, but even though Remus didn't know a lot about half of them he didn't particularly _care_ about them.

He got that the game they were about to play was all about getting to know secrets about others, but he didn't care if Rebecka had kissed anyone, if Fabian had a crush or any other questions the others were sure to ask. Remus felt like he wasted his time when he could be snogging Sirius in a dark cupboard instead.

Though, at least he was happy about the fact that they could sit so close to each other. And Sirius' warm arm around his waist was comfortable as well. It could have been worse, he thought as he looked to the side to smile at Sirius who grinned back at him. It could have been worse; he could have been alone. He could have sat here without Sirius' smile which lightened up the clearing like the sun.

"Here, take a plastic cup." Gideon, who sat on Remus' left, said as he handed the bag with cups to Remus who took two. Then he handed it over to Marlene who sat next to Sirius. Remus gave Sirius one of the cups and then they waited for one of the bottles with apple juice to make it to them.

When James had returned to his place in the circle and everyone had filled their plastic cups to the brim with apple juice James cleared his throat to gain everyone's attention again.

"Alright, now we'll start. You drink if you have done what the person is saying, understood? You win the game by drinking the least times, and lose by drinking the most. The winner's prize is to take the remaining bottles of juice with them, if there is any left of them will say." James said with a mischievous glint in his eyes. Then he motioned for Lily to start.

"Hm. Let's see... Never have I ever skipped class on purpose." Lily said while raising her eyebrows. Remus wondered if faking illness to stay at home counted, but then he remembered that he'd skipped class on several occasions before anyway so he drank from his cup.

When he heard Sirius gulp down several mouthfuls of his juice Remus elbowed him in the ribs lightly. "Do you want to lose?" He whispered, making Sirius' mouth form into an 'o' of understanding before he whispered "Sorry, I forgot. Have I ever mentioned that I love apple juice?" He finished with a grin.

Remus shook his head at him. Sirius was just- he was so typical Sirius. Silly, funny, but oh so lovable.

"Seriously? Have you all skipped class except me?" Lily asked with a skeptic grimace as she watched everyone in the circle lower their cups. Remus smiled at Lily apologetically but looking around he saw that he was the only one who seemed even remotely ashamed by his actions so he stopped and instead scorned his expression back to normal.

Next to Lily Mary straightened her posture as it was her turn to ask.

"Never have I ever... had a crush." She said right before she took a sip of her own cup. Remus frowned at her. Wasn't she supposed to say something she hadn't done so that she didn't have to drink?

Remus flicked his eyes over at James to check with the game maker but when James shrugged at him Remus dropped it. As long as they had fun it was okay to bend the rules Remus thought before he took a sip of his apple juice.

When he saw Sirius lower his cup after drinking Remus smiled at him shyly. Sirius grinned at him and then ruffled his hair affectionately. Absentmindedly Remus wondered how long he'd had a crush on Sirius before he fell in love with him. He wondered if he'd fancied him at first, or if it all just come over him at once, but then he heard Peter say the next statement.

"Never have I ever fancied anyone older than me." Peter said and then looked around the circle to see who drank or not.

Remus narrowed his eyes before he turned his head to the side, positioning his mouth close to Sirius' ear before he whispered "You're four months older than me right? So does that count?"

When Sirius flashed him a smirk and winked three times with his left eyes Remus guessed that was a yes so he drank from his cup. Then he frowned as he looked down in it. He'd taken a drink every time already. If this went on he would lose the game.

"Not that many but three is something I guess." Peter shrugged before he turned to look over at Rebecka who seemed to burst from suppressed excitement as she prepared her question.

"Never have I ever kissed anyone!" She said, and Remus was just about to feel awkward about the fact she'd just announced she hadn't when she quickly placed her cup to her lips and drank from it.

Shaking his head slightly, trying not to get too irritated by mere looking at Rebecka, Remus drank from his cup and then looked around to see who else did. He saw that all save Peter and Gideon drank. Slightly baffled Remus wondered who the hell James and Lily had kissed without telling him, and then he hoped they hadn't kissed each other without telling him. Suddenly he felt like he'd missed something major.

"Did you know Prongs had kissed anyone?" Remus heard Sirius whisper in his ear.

"No. I was just about to ask you about it." Remus whispered back and then they shared a look of pure shock with each other. Then Remus started to understand why people played this game; they got to know secrets about each other and it was kind of interesting after all. Though, Remus still couldn't believe James had kissed anyone. He would have to ask him about it later.

"Okay, my turn," Marlene said. "Never have I ever kissed a boy."

Remus expected her to drink as well but instead he saw as she shared a shy smile with Mary. Remus narrowed his eyes at her... was she also...?

"Cheers!"

Remus dropped his line of thought when he felt Sirius pull him closer by the grip around his waist. Remus stared at him, confused, but smiled when he saw Sirius lift his cup to his lips cheerfully.

"You've kissed a boy, haven't you?" Sirius winked at him, making Remus blush and roll his eyes. Of course he had. So he lifted his cup, voiced a small 'cheers' with Sirius and then swallowed a mouthful of the sweet apple juice.

When he lowered his glass Sirius grinned at him, looking proud, and Remus felt his heart swell. Was Sirius proud over the fact he'd kissed him?

"Interesting." Marlene said, making Remus look up from the cup in his hands. He saw that she and practically everyone else stared at him and Sirius. He felt his cheeks heat up and he bit his lip unsure of what else to do when he saw James snicker under his hand and Peter grimace uncomfortably.

Remus had forgotten him and Sirius hadn't really told anyone about their relationship, they never felt the need to. But now he realized some might feel shocked by the revelation.

"You've kissed a boy!?" Sirius exclaimed to Remus over dramatically all of a sudden, making Remus jump on the spot. He stared at Sirius who broke out in a loud laughter, and then heard James, Lily and Peter join in as well.

"Sod off." Remus mumbled and tried to shake Sirius' arm off him, but that only resulted in him pulling Remus in closer.

"Just kidding," Sirius laughed before he coughed once and straightened his posture.

"Alright, my turn?" He said to gain the other's attention like he hadn't noticed he'd been the center of attention for the last couple of minutes already.

"Never have I ever kissed a boy... with _tongue_. French style." Sirius smirked before he pursed his lips and smacked with them, making kissing noises to Remus who grimaced and tried to push Sirius away from him.

"I can't believe you right now. Honestly. What are you, five?" Remus managed as he tried to push Sirius away from him.

"You were going to say 'are you serious', weren't you?" Sirius grinned at him. Remus groaned but felt a smile tug at his lips. Sirius was just too silly.

As a last way to get Sirius to give him a break Remus lifted his free hand, reached for Sirius' nipple through his shirt and pinched it as hard as he could. Though, instead of silencing him up it resulted in Sirius moaning out load on the spot, the sound sending a rush of blood to Remus' groin that twitched excitedly, and making his cheeks redden at the same time.

"Ehm," Sirius said as he staged a set of coughs to try and cover up his slip up.

Remus immediately let go of the nipple in favor of gripping his cup tightly before he took a sip from it. He felt his face burn from embarrassment, and he heard his heart beats echo in his ears in the suddenly deadly silent clearing in the forest. He didn't dare to look up from his cup so he stared down at his lap instead.

"So, ehm," Sirius coughed. "Did anyone drink? Sorry I, ehm, kind of forgot to check who did." Sirius mumbled before he slowly lifted his own cup to drink from it, his gulp echoing in the silent clearing. Remus guessed he stared at his lap and was just as embarrassed as Remus.

And even though Remus' body got so hot he thought he was going to fill bucketful's of sweat he could feel Sirius' body radiate heat from where he still pressed their sides tightly together.

"This is better than TV." James stated, sounding amused, making Remus dare a glance up. He saw James grin at him before he formed his hands into a heart. Remus didn't know whether to die from embarrassment or cuteness right then.

"I knew it all along, I just never found the right opportunity to ask." Fabian confessed all of a sudden. Remus turned his head to look at him.

"Please make them stop. I feel like I'm being forced to watch something that's for adults only." Peter whined, and looking at him Remus saw him cover his eyes his with his hands again. Remus tsked. He acted like a stubborn toddler.

"What is this- this _circus_!?" Rebecka screeched, making Remus jump at the spot. When he realized she meant him and Sirius he glared at her. Who did she think she called a circus? She'd been a nuisance all evening!

"Excuse you?" Remus heard Sirius, James and Lily ask at the same time. That made Rebecka shut her mouth, but she still looked irritated from where she defiantly crossed her arms over her chest. Remus realized she must be jealous about the fact that the attention wasn't on her anymore.

"Can't you see that they're in _love_?" Lily shouted at Rebecka, apparently not ready to drop the issue yet. Remus winced. He didn't like to be the center of attention, and even less for people to defend him when he should be able to fight his own battles. Though, he would admit it felt kind of great that Lily had his back.

"Yeah, in love!" James added cockily to Rebecka, Remus didn't know whether he join Lily to get on her good side or if he meant what he said wholeheartedly.

James and Lily bickered with Rebecka for a while longer. Then Remus and Sirius told them to calm down and that they weren't even remotely as offended as them, and that they were ready to drop it. And after they'd got Rebecka to apologize to all of them they were ready to go along with the game.

"Never have I ever had any siblings." Remus said, finally not having to drink. Sure, the apple juice was sweet and all but after a while Remus got sick of the flavor, even if Sirius told him how much he loved if every time he drank it.

Remus watched as Sirius, Fabian, Gideon, Lily and Rebecka drank and then it was Gideon's turn. When him and Fabian had said 'Never have I ever hugged anyone' or 'Never have I ever thought I was gay' Remus felt done with the game. It headed in directions Remus didn't feel very comfortable to share with anyone save Sirius so he quickly excused himself and made to stand up.

James begged him to stay until the end but Remus shook his head at him. He'd wasted the whole evening on James' games already. Now he was finally going to get his quality time with Sirius, even if he had to break the 'marauder honor' or whatever lame threats James tried to pull on him.

"Time to go back to the cabin now Sirius." Remus said as he brushed off dirt from his clothes. Sirius immediately jumped up from the ground, flashed the others a grin and waved them good bye.

"Bye!" He said, mostly to James who shot them a knowing look before he pouted and looked betrayed again.

"Bye, and Lily could you do us a favor and distract James for a while, please?" Remus whispered to Lily as he'd walked over to tell her goodbye. She nodded and winked at him, making Remus rejoice on the inside.

Remus and Sirius would get the cabin all for themselves, _and_ James would get to spend time with Lily. He'd just killed two birds with one stone.

Remus walked away from Lily and headed for the trees at the end of the clearing. Before he'd taken two steps into the trees Sirius was on him, planting kisses over his face, hands finding his ass where they squeezed down and pressed their bodies closer together.

"Sirius... the others might still be able to see us," Remus mumbled against Sirius' lips, too into the kiss to really care anymore.

"Kinky?" Was what Sirius answered. Remus laughed against his lips.

"Come on. Let's hurry back to the cabin now so we can finally take these clothes off." Remus said before he planted a final, moist kiss to Sirius' lips.

The suggestion to remove their clothes seemed to get Sirius really excited considering he flashed Remus a brilliant grin.

Remus smiled back at him and then Sirius took his hand and they were off for cabin 7.


	23. Summer Loving

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you like this chapter!
> 
> And by the way, there is a Supermoon (full moon) right now! Make sure you go watch it!

"Wait, wait, there's something on the bed." Sirius panted as he broke the kiss right before they were to slump down on Remus' bed.

Dizzy, Remus let go of Sirius in favor of approaching his main pillow where he saw...

"A note." Remus said and felt his stomach clench painfully.

"Do you think it's another one from you-know-who?" Sirius asked gently. Remus shrugged. He felt too nervous to find out.

He watched as Sirius, taking the role as the hero, approached the bed and then reached out a hand to pick up the note. "It's not just a note. There's a small package as well." Sirius said, making Remus frown.

"A package? Let me see." And then Sirius showed him the small, wrapped package that he'd found by the side of the pillow, probably having fallen off to the side earlier.

"Want me to read the note?" Sirius asked. When Remus nodded he unfolded the note and started reading while Remus peeked over his shoulder and read as he spoke.

_Dear Remus John Lupin_

_I feel like I owe you this._

_Hope you will find it useful and that it will brighten your life further._

_Instructions are included in the package as well._

"What?" Remus said when Sirius was done.

"Weird." Sirius mumbled. "There's no sender."

"It's not from our enemies anyway, this handwriting is much more eloquent and... old looking. Almost antique." Remus mumbled as he rubbed his chin in thought.

"And why does this person say they owe you something? Do you know if anyone's in depth to you?" Sirius asked. Remus shook his head. He didn't understand who it could be from. But then he realized the package might give them a clue.

"Perhaps we'll find out who it's from when opening the package." Remus said as he reached for the small package held in Sirius' hand. Remus started undoing the wrapper, throwing it on the floor, and then frowned at the odd subject in his hand.

"It's a tube." Remus stated out loud. He turned the small tube around in his hand, saw how the odd, slimy, see-through, liquid inside swam around in it. He wondered what it was and why someone would send it to him when Sirius crouched down on the floor.

"Wait, you forgot the 'instruction', whatever that means." Sirius said as he retreated from the floor with a folded piece of paper in his hands. Remus motioned for him to read it but felt himself raise his eyebrows curiously when he saw Sirius' face turn red.

"What is it?" Remus asked.

"It's, ehm, it's- it's _lube_." Sirius stuttered, making Remus break out in a coughing fit. What?

"Wha-, are you sure?" Remus asked while trying to calm down his racing heart. Sirius aimed him a shy smile before he shrugging unfolded the paper to read it for Remus.

"Medicinal lube, made to ease the procedure of sexual intercourse. How to use it: open the lid and-"

"Stop! I get it," Remus squeaked when he felt his flush creep back to his ears and back.

"No, wait, I think we should really read this. Whoever sent this to you seem to know one thing or another about gay sex." Sirius murmured as he continued to read the instructions, but this time quietly to himself.

Remus felt like dying from embarrassment. Sure, he adored Sirius and would love to have sex with him, but getting send a package of lube with instructions on how to use it while having sex was just too much.

And who'd sent it to him? An old creep?

"I don't know who sent you this but I would like to thank them. I think we'll get some good use of this someday." Sirius said before he winked at Remus who felt his flush reach the tip of his toes and back from embarrassment.

"W-what does it say?" Remus stuttered, suddenly feeling curious about the instructions.

"I can show you later." Sirius said, voice low as he flicked with his tongue. Remus gulped when he saw Sirius lick his lips slowly. Remus got the feeling Sirius had found some really interesting information in the description.

However, Sirius put the piece of paper down at Remus' nightstand and Remus following his lead by putting the tube of lube next to it. Then they stared each other for a second in absolute silence before Sirius smirked.

When Remus saw the smirk he felt something inside him snap. He flung himself forward on Sirius and pressed their lips together. Sirius was quick to catch up as his hands found Remus' back in an instant. Remus let his hands trail along Sirius' back as well and only stopped when he found the hem. When he did he slid his hands in under it and swiped them all over the warm skin of his back.

He felt Sirius move the over to the bed, and when Remus' calves collided with it he broke the kiss momentarily to lie down on it. Sirius immediately climbed onto the bed and placed himself on top of him before he pressed a slow kiss to his lips.

Remus smiled into Sirius' lips, giddy with happiness, joy and lust as he felt Sirius swipe his tongue along his lower lip, making a spark of arousal hit his groin. Remus opened his mouth and then slipped his tongue into Sirius', deepening the kiss.

Remus rejoiced in their passionate kiss, all the while swiping his hands up and down Sirius' back, but when Sirius' leg pressed in between his he became aware of his growing erection.

Suddenly overpowered by an urgent desire he gripped the hem of Sirius' shirt and started yanking it upwards, trying to rid Sirius off it. When Sirius got what he was doing he broke the kiss and pulled the shirt over his head. Then he helped Remus get rid of his, throwing both of them over their heads to land on the floor.

Glancing at his chest, Remus felt the creeping insecurity about his scars return. But then he felt Sirius cup his chin and angle his head up to look into pair of fond gray eyes.

"You're beautiful." Sirius told him, voice soft and positively drippling with love that went straight to Remus' heart.

Remus felt the affection for Sirius hurt in his chest, and felt his eyes water from it as well. Sirius was too good for him. Too wonderful. Too precious.

"I love you." Remus told him, voice a mere whisper as it broke from the lump in his throat. He loved Sirius so much. There were no words strong enough for what he felt.

Sirius smiled at him fondly. Then he leaned down to capture Remus' lips with his own again. They kissed slowly and softly and Remus thought Sirius was particularly gentle as he let one of his hands come up to caress his cheek.

Remus let his hands swipe up and down Sirius' arms, back and sides as the kiss eventually grew more urgent. When Remus felt Sirius press his leg against his erection he went all in and proceeded to give Sirius the best snog of his life.

As the kiss became a mixture tongues, lips and licks Remus lowered his hands to Sirius' buttocks where they squeezed down hard, earning him an aroused moan from Sirius who broke the kiss in favor of panting harshly against Remus' neck. Remus spread his legs more and then lifted them to lock around Sirius before he thrust upward, hard, pressing their groins together, drawing a moan out of both of them.

"Take them off," Sirius panted as he rubbed his hard bulge against Remus' who tightened his grip on Sirius' ass, lost in the waves of pleasure that shook him. He didn't understand what Sirius meant until he felt him start fiddling with his belt.

The trousers, Remus realized. Sirius wanted them to take them off.

With glazy eyes Remus watched as Sirius sat up on the bed, unclasped his belt and started pulling down the zipper of his knee-shorts. Remus' eyes widened when he saw the visible bulge in his pants, and felt his heart skip a beat when Sirius gripped the waistline of his trousers and made to pull them down.

Nearly going anxious with anticipation Remus bit down on his lip as he watched Sirius start pulling his trousers down at an almost painfully slow pace. Remus let his eyes trail over the thin line of black hair that went from Sirius' navel down to somewhere Remus had wanted to see for a very long time. Now he would finally get to see it.

When Sirius quickly yanked his trousers, and probably briefs as well, down to his knees Remus felt his jaw drop. In front of him he saw Sirius' proud erection in all its glory, the mere sight of it sending a spark of arousal to Remus' own cock who twitched with excitement.

Remus stared at Sirius shaft and then absentmindedly licked his lips. He'd never seen another man's erect cock before, but he never thought he'd seen anything sexier in his life.

"Like what you see? You're drooling or something?" Sirius asked, voice teasing, making Remus snap out of his staring to shake his head in embarrassment.

"No, no. It's good. Please stare all you want. It turns me on really bad." Sirius confessed with an aroused groan that made Remus slip a nervous giggle. He shook his head over his own silliness. Here in front of him he had the love of his life, that was also the sexiest man on earth, and he giggled?

He stared at Sirius' cock that bounced against his navel when he shifted on the bed. He was overwhelmed by an urge to reach out to touch it, feel it, taste it, but he snapped out of his thoughts when he felt Sirius start working on his belt.

"W-wha-" Remus started.

"You too. I want to see yours now." Sirius urged, voice high pitched due to his excitement.

Remus reached down to help him unclasp the belt, open the button and pull down the zipper of his trousers. Then Sirius quickly walked out of his shorts and threw them off the bed before he sat back up by the end of it to watch Remus as he gripped the waistband of his trousers and started pulling them down.

Remus closed his eyes when a wave of pleasure surged through him as his trousers brushed past his erection. Then he gasped as he felt his member finally get freed from its cage to bounce out in the open.

Remus opened his eyes when he'd pulled his trousers and briefs down to the middle of his thighs. He glanced up to look over at Sirius and felt his eyes widen when he saw Sirius stare at his erection with a hunger like it was dinner and he had been starving for months.

Remus saw Sirius' eyebrows furrow before he bit down on his lip, the scene sending another jolt of arousal to Remus' groin, making it twitch visibly.

When Sirius made some sort of sexy noise from the back of his throat Remus felt that he couldn't take it anymore. His heart pounded like crazy, his stomach churned with excitement and the pressure in his groin got close to unbearable. He needed Sirius.

Faster than he'd ever done anything in his life he pulled his trousers and briefs all the way down, kicked them off the bed, gripped Sirius' shoulders and pulled them down on the bed again, this time butt naked.

Remus pressed a quick kiss on Sirius' lips before he opened his mouth to allow Sirius' tongue entrance. At the same time Remus let his hands wander from Sirius' hair to his naked buttocks where he let his hands lay pressed. He felt Sirius swipe his hands along his sides, making gooseflesh break out on his skin from the sensation of being skin to skin.

When Remus felt Sirius' naked erection brush against his own he broke the kiss to moan against Sirius' open mouth. Then Sirius purposely rutted against Remus again, this time drawing a moan out of the both of them. Sirius felt too good. It felt too amazing with their naked skin pressed together from chests to toes.

Remus felt sweat break out all over his body as the pressure in his lower abdomen started to build up. Feeling his desperation increase Remus spread his legs and then lifted his hips to meet Sirius'. They went on like that for a while, Remus lifting his hips to meet Sirius' vigorous thrusts while they panted, whined and moaned against each other.

Then Remus felt something new. With a gasp he felt Sirius snake one of his hands down to wrap around his length and give it a slow stroke. Remus immediately started to thrust up more vigorously to increase the pressure when the hand started stroking faster.

"You're so beautiful like this." Sirius breathed in a hoarse croak against Remus' neck in between strokes, making his heart jump from a mixture of affection and arousal.

"Says the one that looks like a god." Remus panted. That earned him a low chuckle from Sirius, but it turned into a groan when Remus used the moment of distraction to snake his own hand down to grip Sirius' erection.

As his hand wrapped around the hot shaft Remus felt a powerful shiver run down his spine. Sirius felt amazing, like he was made to fit in his hand. It felt so good Remus struggled to comprehend what they were doing. It all seemed too amazing. Too surreal to quite be the true.

When Remus started stroking Sirius in a rapid pace he felt Sirius start working on his cock again, making Remus struggle to keep his focus locked on Sirius erection as he felt his own being worked by Sirius' magical hand.

" _Sirius_ ," Remus panted when he felt Sirius' thumb brush over the head. He felt Sirius do it again, making him moan into Sirius' ear that made him groan and paus for a second.

Before Remus had any time to take up his stroking on Sirius' erection he felt Sirius release his member in favor of wrapping his arms around his back. Remus was about to ask what he was doing when he felt him start turning them around, rolling them over on the bed.

When Sirius had positioned himself under Remus he loosened his grip around him and leaned back to look him in the eyes. Sirius aimed Remus a fond smile, and his eyes positively radiated affection. Remus wanted to watch Sirius look at him like that for the rest of his life.

"I love you." Sirius told him honestly, his hand coming up to pat Remus' left cheek.

Remus felt a happy smile tug on his lips. Sirius never failed to make him feel giddy with happiness, and right now it felt like his chest was on the verge of exploding with it.

"I love you too, you know." Remus whispered affectionately before he leaned forward to press a kiss on Sirius' forehead. But when he felt Sirius other hand come up to cup his other cheek and ultimately lead him in the direction of Sirius' lips he pressed a firm kiss to them as well.

When Remus felt his chest explode with something close to fireworks, heart start beating faster and groin twitch with excitement from the kiss he started kissing Sirius more fervently.

After a long, passionate kiss Sirius pulled away. But before Remus had any time to complain he had wrapped his arms around Remus again and rolled them over so that Sirius was on top. Then he shot Remus a sexy smirk before he lowered his head to press a kiss on his neck.

As Remus relished in the sensation he let his hands run down Sirius' back, until they found his naked asscheeks. Then he let his hands swipe over them, cup and squeeze them. He loved how soft they were, and how they made Sirius pant and squirm above him.

When Remus felt Sirius start sucking on his neck at the same time Remus' fingers brushed over the crease between Sirius' buttocks he remembered something from a long time ago... a dream, he thought.

He struggled to get his foggy brain to work with him, but then he remembered.

Back in third year he'd had a wet dream about Sirius where he'd, he'd... Remus felt his cheeks burn from the vague memory. He remembered he'd dreamed that Sirius had spread his asscheeks and then pressed a finger down his entrance.

For a brief second Remus felt ashamed for even thinking about it, but then he remembered how Sirius had read the descriptions to the tube of lube, seeming interested in its content. And Remus wasn't born yesterday. He knew gay sex could evolve around buttholes.

He snapped out of his thoughts when he felt Sirius suck down on his neck again, more vigorously this time. In response Remus spread his legs as far as they went before he thrust up to meet Sirius' erection. And in the heat of the moment he let his right hand slide to the side, placing it over Sirius' cleft. Feeling urged on by his curiosity and arousal Remus slid his index finger in between it, not stopping until he found Sirius' puckered entrance where he pressed down.

"Ah, Remus," Sirius moaned as his body on reflex thrust down hard on Remus whose body tensed as he felt his release approach. Remus had never been this aroused in his life. Sirius sounded amazing.

"Want me to do it again?" Remus managed in between pants. When he felt Sirius nod against his neck he let his finger press down on the tight spot again, harder this time, earning him a set of filthy noises he dragged from Sirius.

Remus only let go when he felt Sirius grab his cock again, pumping it from top to bottom until Remus couldn't do more than pant helplessly. Remus reached for Sirius' again, but then Sirius suddenly stilled.

"What is it?" Remus breathed, feeling too dizzy to really comprehend anything.

"I, ehm-, do want to try something...?" Sirius asked, sounding uncertain. Remus looked at him curiously before he nodded. As long as Sirius new idea had something to do with them getting off he was on.

Remus watched as Sirius reached out a hand and then reached it over Remus' head to search for something above it. Remus wondered what he was doing but as he saw the hand return will the small tube he felt his eyes widen in surprise.

"W-what are you planning...?" Remus asked, feeling insecure. He'd never thought Sirius would plan on using it already. He didn't even know what he was planning on doing with it to be honest.

Sirius glanced up at him uncertainly, but then Remus saw his expression change into a smug smirk. Remus felt a smile of his own creep up his lips. He loved when Sirius looked like that. It made him go almost crazy with desire.

"You, ehm, you know that thing you just did with, ehm, my- you know," Sirius started, his entire face turning red. Remus felt his chest constrict with nervousness and excitement.

"Do you mean when I, ehm, p-pressed my finger down on your, ehm, you-know-what?" Remus stuttered as he felt his face grow red as well. He let his finger rub Sirius' entrance just for emphasis, earning him a gasp from Sirius.

"Yeah," Sirius said, nodding, with a shy smile before he aimed a playful jab on Remus' chest.

"What about it?" Remus asked, but his voice broke out into a moan when Sirius wrapped his fingers around his length and gave it a stroke. Remus slammed a hand over his mouth and closed his eyes, feeling himself being only seconds from the edge.

"Want to do it again?" Sirius whispered close to his ear, making a shiver run down Remus' spine. He lowered his hand from his mouth and opened his eyes as he wondered how Sirius could have leaned down to whisper in his ear so quickly.

"S-sure." Remus breathed, mind dizzy with lust. The only thing that mattered now was how hard he was, and if Sirius wanted him to do something with the lube he would do it with pleasure.

He saw Sirius smirk at him looking both proud and excited before he planted a sloppy kiss on Remus' lips. Remus answered it and managed to suck on Sirius' lower lip for a second before he sat back up, straddling Remus' hips, making their cocks stand only centimeters from each other.

Remus bit his lip and tried not to come right there when he saw Sirius open the lid to the tube and then squirt some of the lube onto the palm of his right hand before he put the lid back on and threw the tube on the floor next to the bed.

Sirius winked at Remus before he pressed his palms together and rubbed them against each other for a while, all the while Sirius winked, grinned or licked his lips, rejoicing in watching Remus' facial expression that got more desperate by the second.

Remus gulped when he saw Sirius lower his left hand to lubricate his erection with the thick, slimy, lube, and almost got crazy from lust when Sirius voiced a set of small whines from the contact.

When Sirius lowered his right hand to lubricate Remus' member with the warm lube Remus heard himself pant uncontrollably. Suddenly Sirius' hand felt a thousand times better, and the substance now covering his shaft made Sirius' hand movements faster, harder and slicker.

Remus reached out his arms, gripped Sirius' shoulders and then pulled him down with him on the bed. Then he made to kiss Sirius, but ended up panting into his mouth when Sirius kept stroking his incredibly hard cock.

Remus threw back his head when he felt his muscles start clenching. Pleasure surged through him and he knew he was close.

When he felt Sirius' erection brush against his thigh Remus reached down to wrap his hand around it. He gave it a set of fast, hard strokes while Sirius worked him closer to finish. Remus felt the warm substance stick to his fingers, and then he remembered Sirius' request.

While panting forehead to forehead with Sirius, Remus released Sirius member with his right hand and then lifted his left to squeeze Sirius' buttock.

Remus lifted his right hand and let it come down on top of Sirius cleft before he used his left hand to spread it open. He heard Sirius pant with anticipation on top of him before he spread his legs and ultimately allowed Remus entrance.

Remus felt the pleasure build up in his lower abdomen threaten to take over him as Sirius worked his cock at an incredible speed, but before Remus allowed himself to come he would make sure Sirius had a good time as well.

So he shifted his head until it lay pressed against Sirius' neck, and then he opened his mouth to suck on a soft spot close to his collarbone. Remus smiled when he heard Sirius whimper on top of him, and feeling urged on Remus snaked his slicked up index finger between Sirius' asscheeks until it brushed over his hole. He bit down on Sirius' neck at the same time he pressed his finger down as hard as he could, and this time it slid inside, touching places that might never had been touched before.

Remus moaned when he felt Sirius' hand tightened around him. He heard Sirius moan helplessly above his, his hot muscles clenching around Remus' finger. Remus that thought Sirius' sounds were incredibly hot bit down on Sirius' neck once again, but stopped when he felt Sirius' hand stroke him faster, and then felt another hand come down to cup his balls.

"Sirius, I-" Remus panted. He was dangerously close to the edge. He could feel his mind start drifting away into the clouds, the pleasure building up in his entire body.

"Me too," Sirius panted, voice hoarse, sounding so extremely sexy that Remus groaned from just the sound of it.

Desperate for release Remus thrust up to meet Sirius' hand and brushed against his erection at the same time. He retreated his finger from Sirius' entrance, but only briefly since he immediately pressed it down harder, _deeper_ into Sirius who cried out a broken moan before he came on the spot.

" _Remus_!" He cried as he tightened his grip around Remus' shaft and balls, making Remus moan as he came as well.

Remus closed his eyes as his muscles tensed and he arched his back as he felt the pleasure take over him. It placed him in a wonderful daze, made it feel like he was walking on clouds. His skin prickled, his chest exploded with wonderful feelings, and he felt like he was flying. It lasted forever, Remus rejoicing in how light and warm his body felt, but then he slowly came back down from his orgasm, and he felt his limbs grow limp and heavy.

Opening his eyes Remus became aware of Sirius who panted above him, and when he felt something constrict around his finger he remembered it was still inside Sirius.

Feeling himself blush he swiftly removed his finger, then placed his hand on Sirius' back before he swiped it up and down all over it, guiding him back to reality.

When Sirius came down from his high Remus found him gazing at him with a lazy, but happy, smile on his lips. Remus returned it but added a wink with his dazed eyes that made Sirius grin at him.

"That was brilliant." Sirius stated before he placed a soft kiss on Remus' lips, making a lovesick giggle escape him.

"It was incredible." Remus smiled at him affectionately.

"Have I told you I love you? Because if I haven't I want you to know that I do. And also that you're the most amazing human being ever to have lived. " Sirius confessed, eyes turning soft before he pressed a gentle kiss on Remus' lips.

Remus felt his heart constrict with the many feelings Sirius evoked in him. He loved Sirius so much it hurt. And he actually felt his eyes water as he looked into Sirius' beautiful gray eyes that glistened in silver every other second or so.

"Hey, are you alright? Did I hurt you?" Sirius asked, voice concerned, eyes glancing at him with worry, as he lifted one of his hands to wipe away a tear that fell from Remus' eyes.

"I just love you so much." Remus whispered, his voice breaking from the emotional lump that stuck in his throat.

"Isn't that a good thing?" Sirius pryed before he leaned down to place soft kisses over Remus' sweaty forehead, and then swiped the hand that had caressed Remus' cheek up to brush his sweaty fringe off to the side.

"Yeah it is," Remus trailed off as he gazed deeply into Sirius' wonderful eyes. "I've just never felt like this before. I feel like I'm going to explode from feelings for you. Sorry, I don't know why I'm crying, I know it's silly..." Remus whispered as he dropped his gaze to stare at Sirius' chin.

"It's not silly. It's absolutely perfect." Sirius said as he lifted Remus' chin to make him look him in the eyes again. "Because I feel the same." He whispered gently, and Remus felt his heart stop when he saw Sirius eyes water.

Remus voiced a small whimper before he used his arm to press Sirius closer to him in a hug. Then he started pressing kisses all over Sirius' neck as a desperate try to express his love for him.

What Remus didn't say though was that he thought it was dangerous to love someone as much as he loved Sirius. He knew that if anything happened to Sirius he would be devastated, broken and feel his heart break. And drawing those conclusions Remus realized his love to Sirius made him incredibly vulnerable.

But it was worth it.

Remus stopped his kissing attack on Sirius' neck when he felt a set of hot tears land on his shoulder. Leaning back again he saw Sirius wipe his wet eyes on his hand. Remus smiled at him before he leaned forward to kiss the tears away, and he rejoiced when he heard Sirius breathe out a light laugh.

When the both of them had kissed away each other's tears Remus grew noticed about the stickiness between their bellies, and glancing down he saw a mess of smeared come all over their stomachs.

It was with reddened cheeks that Remus had suggested they take a shower. And it was with reddened ears that he saw Sirius lift his right hand, the entirety of it covered with the substance as it had stroked Remus to finish.

Sirius however didn't seem as embarrassed. No, he even made a show of wanting to lick his hand clean of Remus' come but when Remus had gripped him by the wrist and dragged him over to the bathroom door he'd stopped the teasing.

It was with shaky limbs and wobbly legs that they managed to shower themselves clean. Remus focused on the tiles in the floor during the remains of the shower, not wanting his prick to get too excited again as he felt exhausted. But by the end of it Sirius had embraced him in an affectionate hug and then kissed him passionately in the streams from the shower head above them, and it had taken Remus great force to stop his eager member from perking again. Sirius was just too hot. Like an erection magnet or something.

When they'd dried up enough that they weren't drippling with water they headed back for Remus bed. Though, Remus exchanged his soiled sheets with the one from Sirius' nowadays untouched bed before they climbed into it.

Sirius placed himself closest to the wall and Remus lied down in front of him. Then they looked each other in the eyes for a while before Remus pulled Sirius in for a bear hug. He held onto Sirius like his life depended on it, and felt his heart jump from happiness when he felt Sirius do the same.

Remus buried his nose in Sirius' neck and breathed in. First he felt the strong smell of soap from their shower, but under it he could make out the unique scent that was Sirius.

As he lay there hugging Sirius, breathing in his scent and felt Sirius bury his nose in his hair Remus let his mind wander back to the heated moments they'd shared in the bed only minutes ago.

He thought back to how he'd yearned for expressing his love for Sirius. How Sirius had told him he loved him time after time, how Sirius more or less had told him he was perfect, unique and special. And then Remus thought back of how he'd thought the same back to Sirius. And as he let his mind wander to their many declarations of their love he realized something.

They weren't just having a good time. They weren't just having sex or anything else as shallow.

They had made love.

"Sirius?" Remus asked, suddenly feeling the need to share his realization.

"Hm?" Sirius hummed against his hair, making comfortable vibrations run down Remus' body. He wavered only for a second before he opened his mouth to speak.

"Do you, ehm, do you think we- we made, ehm, made l-love?" Remus stuttered as he suddenly felt his stomach clench nervously. What if he'd gotten it all wrong? But then he felt Sirius grip around him tighten and Sirius shift so they turned nose to nose.

"I think that's exactly what we made. Love." Sirius exclaimed with a beautiful smile. Remus saw Sirius' cheeks tint pink and his eyes sparkle with wonderful emotions. Remus felt the butterflies in his stomach flutter again.

Was Sirius even real?

"You don't think I'm real?" Sirius teased and it took a second for Remus to realize he'd voiced his thought out loud.

"Ehm, no- or, well... you're just so perfect. You're almost too good to be true. Too good to be real." Remus confessed as he blinked at Sirius.

Sirius frowned at him. "But it's the other way around." He said, making Remus' chest explode with affection for Sirius again.

Remus hugged Sirius tighter and buried his face in his neck. He closed his eyes as he tried to press himself _into_ Sirius from just the hug. He wanted to stay close to Sirius forever, never have to let go for anything.

Sirius made him feel warm, protected and safe. Sirius made him feel cared about, important and loved.

Sirius made him feel at home.

"I love you so much." Sirius whispered close to his ear when Remus was about to do the same. Remus lifted his leg to lie over Sirius waist, pressing them closer together, as he pressed a grateful kiss on Sirius' neck.

He was just about to move his lips to Sirius' mouth when he heard the door to the cabin open.

"We're coming in!" A voice warned them, and looking over his shoulder Remus saw James walk inside with a nervous looking Peter behind him. Remus raised his eyebrows in surprise. It might sound bad, but he had actually forgotten about them for a while there. He had been too focused on his and Sirius bliss in privacy to even aim them a thought.

"Are they naked?" Remus heard Peter pipe, almost sounding scared. Narrowing his eyes at him Remus saw that Peter held onto James' shoulder with one hand as his other covered his eyes.

"Oh, watch out Wormy! Padfoot is butt naked and is heading straight to us!" James shouted, dragging a terrified squeak out of Peter before James broke out in a loud laughter.

"Just kidding. He is in bed with Moony." James told Peter who tentatively peeked through his fingers before he decided it was save to look.

Remus turned his head back to lie against Sirius' neck and he smiled when he felt one of Sirius' hands come up to pat the back of his head soothingly.

"Don't care about him." Sirius whispered to Remus who hummed against his neck. He didn't care, or more like he couldn't even if he tried when he felt Sirius wonderful, supporting body press against him and his hand pat his hair. Instead of feeling insulted by Peter's behavior Remus felt himself getting drowsy with sleep.

"Had fun?" James chirped as he made his way over to their bed.

"More fun than you can imagine." Sirius informed him with a mischievous chuckle.

"I think I can imagine but I rather not." James declared. "What's this?" James said, and Remus thought he could hear him step closer to the bed.

"Oh, ehm-" Sirius started, and then Remus realized what James meant. The lube.

"Wait. On another thought I don't think want to know." James stated before Remus heard something land on his nightstand. "I think I'll go and wash my hands now..." James murmured under his breath and Remus felt his face burn from embarrassment.

"Wait, Prongs!" Sirius shouted after him, making Remus jump and lift his hand to rub his ear that lay pressed against Sirius' mouth.

"Yeah?" James asked.

"Have you kissed anyone? Without telling _me_?" Sirius declared. Remus sighed. He didn't understand how Sirius still remembered that, but leave it to him to ask at a moment like this.

"Oh, ehm, sorry. It was just a quick peck with a girl at school by the end of the term. It was nothing special and I don't really count it but since Evans drank I felt I had to as well. Can't let her think I'm unexperienced. Not when I'm trying to get her to kiss me and all." James said, sounding like a pure arrogant bastard. Remus sighed. If he ever told Lily that she would never want to ever get close to James again.

"Alright. That's all?" Sirius asked, and Remus guessed James nodded because he heard him start walking away from them then.

"Tired?" Sirius whispered to Remus who nodded against his neck. "Me too." Sirius murmured to his hair before he hugged Remus tightly once more.

"Good night." He whispered. "Love you."

"Night Sirius. Love you too." Remus whispered with a smile.

Right before he felt the darkness take him he thought he felt Sirius press a soft kiss to his lips, making him fall asleep with a smile.


	24. Explore

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: This chapter is basically only smut.   
> You can skip it if you want, but I wanted to include it because, honestly, can you ever get enough of some Wolfstar smexy times? I think not.

 

"Hurry!" Sirius snickered as he grabbed Remus' hand and started yanking him from the beach where they'd dozed off.

"You don't think they'll notice we're gone?" Remus whispered as he started running after Sirius that led them to the path leading to the cabins.

"No, they're too busy planning tactics to swim over to the girl's camp to notice our absence for another three hours or so. Come on, it'll be fun," Sirius flashed him a grin, making Remus' heart flutter in agreement.

With a shy smile Remus allowed himself to be led all the way back to cabin 7. There Sirius squeezed his hand before he released it to unlock the door. Well inside he quickly closed and locked it behind them and then turned around to face Remus who fiddled with his sleeve nervously. What had Sirius planned this time?

Remus stopped his fiddling when he felt Sirius cup his cheeks. Glancing up from the floor he'd been staring at he saw Sirius smile at him fondly.

"You know I love you, right?" He whispered, making Remus' heart melt.

"Yes," Remus whispered as his heart swelled with affection.

He gazed longingly into Sirius' beautiful gray eyes for a moment, but when he felt Sirius swipe his thumb over Remus' cheek to press down on his lower lip Remus took a step forward and kissed him. Sirius let his hands swipe down to wrap around Remus' waist while Remus wrapped his arms around Sirius' neck, successfully bringing them closer together.

Remus parted his lips and felt Sirius do the same before they deepened the kiss with their tongues. Remus felt his heart beat speed up, his stomach churn with anticipation and body heat up from Sirius' touch. He put his soul into the kiss as he let his hands brush through Sirius hair and scrap his scalp, earning him small pants from Sirius.

When they broke the kiss to get air Sirius pressed messy kisses to Remus' forehead, cheeks, forehead, and then started kissing his way down to his neck where his lips lingered for a second before he found a spot he started sucking on.

"Ah," Remus panted as he tightened his grip in Sirius' hair.

"Want to," Sirius managed in between kisses on Remus' neck. "Try something new?" He panted as he kissed his way up Remus' neck, throat and jaw to press a kiss to Remus' lips.

"What do you have in mind?" Remus asked with a nervous smile. His chest fluttered with anticipation as he pressed a kiss to Sirius' lips, making him smirk.

"If you take these off I might tell you." Sirius teased with a smug smirk as he let one on his hands wander up to tug at Remus' shirt. Remus felt his cheeks heat up when he saw Sirius give him a look over, and looking like he liked what he saw.

After one final kiss Remus pulled away from Sirius and started walking over to his bed where he sat down. While Sirius made his way over to the bed Remus took off his shoes, socks, shirt and trousers. He made to remove his briefs, albeit feeling embarrassed by how hard he was already, when Sirius sat down next to him and told him to stop.

"Why don't you make yourself comfortable?" Sirius suggested with a playful wink that made Remus' heart jump. Remus made to ask why he was supposed to lie down but didn't when Sirius reached out a hand and pressed a finger to his lips with a silencing 'shh'.

Remus frowned at him as he wondered what Sirius had planned, when an idea struck him. He pressed a kiss to Sirius' index finger before he parted his lips, successfully wrapping them around Sirius' finger before he slid his tongue against it and started sucking.

"God, Remus," Sirius groaned. Glancing up Remus saw Sirius bite his lip, his eyes staring at Remus' mouth in awe. Urged on, Remus lifted his hands to grip Sirius' hand and find his middle finger that he straightened out before he took that in his mouth as well.

He had no idea of what he was doing, but since Sirius started panting from it, and since it turned Remus on really bad he went on.

Remus sucked on the fingers vigorously, enjoying how Sirius' pants turned into low moans as he let a hand come down to rub Remus' naked knee. Remus felt Sirius' hand snake up from the knee to slowly make its way up Remus' inner thigh. When the hand reached Remus' briefs-clad groin it stopped to palm it, making Remus gasp as he released Sirius' fingers in favor of panting and moving his hips to rub his bulge against the hand.

They stayed like that for a while, Sirius taking deep breaths as he palmed Remus' erection, tightening his grip and fastening movements while Remus closed his eyes from the sensation. It wasn't until Remus reached out to grip Sirius shirt and tug on it that Sirius regained enough sanity to release Remus' groin and start removing his shirt.

Remus watched as Sirius threw the shirt on the floor, kicked out of his sandals, pulled out of his trousers and gripped the waistline of his briefs. Remus stared at the protruding bulge in them expectantly, waiting for the moment where he would see Sirius wonderful cock again. But he frowned when Sirius released the waistband.

Remus frowned at the briefs, but then glared at them. He wanted them off! Now!

"Want me to take them off?" Sirius teased, and glancing up Remus saw him smile at him mischievously.

"You're not going to?" Remus pouted. He didn't like to be teased, especially not when his whole body screamed for Sirius just to take the briefs off already.

However, when Sirius saw Remus pout he hurriedly leaned forward to press apologetic kisses to his cheeks, making Remus forgive him as he felt better instantly. Though, he still wanted Sirius to rid of those briefs.

"I'm sorry I teased you but, ehm, I thought that you, ehm, that you might want to...? Want to take them off, I mean?" Sirius blurted as he sat back on the bed.

Remus raised his eyebrows in surprise, but when he got what he meant he felt his eyes widen as a nervous smile creeped up his lips. Sirius wanted _him_ to take them off? Remus didn't know whether to feel incredibly aroused or embarrassed over the request. Though, when he saw Sirius spread his legs and wriggle his hips to him suggestively, Remus settled for the former. He was madly turned on.

After nodding Remus absentmindedly licked his lips as he reached for the waistline of Sirius' briefs. When he'd got a secure grip he started pulling them down quickly, not wanting Sirius to change his mind until they were off.

Remus made to pull them down all the way at once, but stopped halfway when Sirius' erection got stuck in it, the friction of the fabric against it earning Remus a set of moans from Sirius that reached out a hand to grip Remus' hair. After some adjusting Remus managed to release Sirius' member from its cage and yank the briefs all the way down to the floor, with Sirius' lifting his hips to help him along the way.

Remus allowed himself a moment to take in the look of Sirius' cock from where it curled on his stomach, perfectly hard, making Remus feel ready to come on the spot from just a look at it.

He made to reach out and stroke it when he felt Sirius grip his shoulders and pull him down to lie on his back on the bed. Sirius placed himself on top of him as he straddled his hips, leaned forward and captured Remus' lips with his own.

Remus hummed when he got to taste Sirius' eager tongue that demanded entrance to his mouth. At the same time he felt Sirius lower himself so that Sirius' free and Remus' covered erections met, drawing a set of low moans form the both of them. Remus lifted his hands to thread in Sirius' hair and felt Sirius swipe his over his sides and chest.

Remus broke the kiss when he felt a powerful jolt surge through his body. Panting, he realized Sirius had pinched his nipple, and glancing down he saw Sirius roll it with his index finger and thumb. Then Remus watched as Sirius lowered himself to suck on Remus' other nipple, making him inhale sharply from the sensation.

He felt Sirius' naked erection press against his inner thigh and his own press against Sirius' stomach, the friction wonderful but not enough. He rubbed against Sirius' stomach, all the while he let his hands wander up and down Sirius' back, then settle in his hair where they tightened around a fistful of hair each.

"Ah," Sirius groaned as he released Remus' nipple after Remus had pulled on his hair.

"Sorry," Remus panted, not really knowing what words left his mouth.

"No, no," Sirius panted before he looked up to shot Remus' a proud grin. "That felt amazing. It didn't hurt." Sirius breathed, making Remus feel better. Remus never wanted to hurt Sirius.

Remus pressed a kiss to Sirius' forehead when he felt Sirius release his other nipple and then snake his hands down to grip the waistband of his briefs. Sirius looked back at Remus for permission and when he nodded desperately Sirius started yanking them down. The combination of the fabric and Sirius' stomach rubbing against him made Remus gasp and automatically thrust his hips upwards, earning him an aroused sound from Sirius that quickly yanked the briefs all the way down and then threw them over his back.

Remus let slip a whine when he felt Sirius grip him and deliver a firm stroke, making him spread his legs and hands come up to grip Sirius' hair again. Though, just as he was about to pull Sirius towards him for another kiss he felt Sirius sit back up on the bed.

"Wow," Sirius breathed. And following the direction of Sirius' eyes Remus realized Sirius stared at his erection. Remus felt his flush spread to his ears and chest flutter with anticipation as Sirius' lips parted and he eyed Remus' cock like he was hungry and it was dinner.

"You're so hot," Sirius panted, the husky of Sirius' voice turning Remus on so much that his member visibly twitched in response, making Sirius' twitch as well.

Remus just wanted to reach out and snog Sirius brainless right there and then, but before he got the chance he saw Sirius shift on the bed and start moving further away.

"What are you doing?" Remus managed to croak in between pants. Sirius tore his gaze from Remus' length to smile at him shakily. Remus raised his eyebrows at him in question.

"Do you trust me?" Sirius asked, startled Remus for a second. Though, the answer was simple.

"Of course I trust you. I love you." Remus smiled as he felt his chest swell with wonderful emotions and affection for Sirius who smiled at him watery.

"You know I would never hurt you, right? I love you too." Sirius smiled as he let one of his hands rub Remus' knee. Glancing down Remus saw that Sirius had positioned himself between his knees, and he wondered why when suddenly Sirius leaned forward, making him come down on all fours.

Remus felt his heart jump when Sirius gripped his thighs and started pulling them further apart. What was Sirius going to do?

But then Remus shook his head. It didn't matter what Sirius was doing. He trusted him with his life and knew he wouldn't ever hurt him. He had just said so himself after all.

Instead of worrying Remus felt his chest churn excitement as he helped Sirius spread his legs further. When they'd spread as much as they got Sirius helped him bend them so that Remus' entire crotch area and part of his ass was exposed to him. Remus felt exposed; he had never been that displayed and out in the open before. Sirius could see everything. And Remus felt his stomach constrict nervously, suddenly hoping Sirius wouldn't find him ugly, but when he saw Sirius smile down at him, looking content, Remus relaxed.

"You're so sexy right now it's sick." Sirius breathed as he shook his head in disbelief. "And just to remind you I think your scars look super cool." Sirius said as he let his eyes wander the scarred flesh of Remus' chest before they locked with Remus'. "You're beautiful." Sirius whispered fondly.

Remus felt his chest explode with love for Sirius. Remus whimpered as he struggled to find words strong enough to relay his love, gratefulness, and longing for Sirius. He was overpowered by the urge to hug him, cling to him until their bodies melded to one and they would stay the same forever. He didn't want to be just Remus anymore, he wanted to be RemusandSirius; being one out of two that stuck together just like Remus felt how his heart belonged with Sirius and always tried to get to him.

"I love you. You're perfect." Remus pleaded when his mind couldn't come up with anything better to say. Though, Sirius seemed content with that since he flashed Remus a lovely grin. Remus smiled a watery smile at him but felt it change into a silent gasp as Sirius suddenly reached down do his crotch as he gripped it with his right hand.

Through half open eyelids Remus watched as Sirius opened his mouth, reached out his tongue and then proceeded to give the tip of Remus' length a lick.

Involuntarily Remus moaned and started squirming around on the bed. Sirius, that kept his eyes locked with Remus', seemed urged on as he tilted his head to the side, smirked and then licked the head again. When Remus managed to suppress his moans into pants he felt Sirius lower himself further down before he licked Remus' cock from bottom to top, slowly.

Remus struggled not to lift his hips when sparks of pleasure surged through him. But when he saw Sirius open his mouth and felt him take in his cock in his mouth where he sucked on it Remus automatically thrust upward to meet Sirius' mouth better.

"Ah," Remus moaned when he felt Sirius' hot, moist mouth close around him. He helplessly gripped the sheets from the force of not start fucking Sirius' mouth right there and then.

"Mm." Sirius hummed as he started bobbing his head up and down, up and down, on Remus' erection, making him wriggle around on the bed, squirming in pleasure. Remus felt sweat break out all over his body and waves of pleasure take over him as Sirius continued to suck on him eagerly.

" _Sirius_ ," Remus gasped as he reached out to thread a hand in Sirius' hair before he tightened his fist and pulled at it, making Sirius open his mouth and pant as he got his hair pulled. When Remus felt Sirius' hot breath fan over his sensitive head his hips automatically lifted again until he met Sirius' mouth again, drawing a moan out of both of them.

"God, Remus." Sirius breathed from where he looked Remus in the eyes, his gray orbs glazed over with lust. Remus bit his lip when he saw Sirius' lips quirk into a smirk. Remus felt his heart jump when Sirius winked at him suggestively.

"You taste so good," Sirius purred, sending a spark of arousal straight to Remus' groin that twitched in response, making Sirius turn his attention back to it with another smirk.

Remus failed to understand how Sirius could say sexy things like that. And he wondered how Sirius could even know anything about what they were doing and wondered if he had read about it somewhere or just was a natural. However, his line of thought as interrupted when he felt the hot, slick, cave that was Sirius' mouth enclasp him again.

Remus gasped and snapped his eyes shut when he felt Sirius suck on the tip hard. Remus started turning his head from side to side when he felt Sirius lower down even more, taking in as much of his cock in his mouth as possible.

Remus felt one of Sirius' hands come up to trail its fingers on his inner thigh, making his desire to thrust up threaten to devour him.

The only thing Remus could focus on was how good Sirius mouth felt around him. He felt Sirius bob his head up and down, alternating between sucking, licking and kissing him while one of his hands stroked his inner thigh.

Remus heard the sloppy sounds coming from Sirius taking him, making Remus whine from arousal. It was the naughtiest and hottest thing he'd ever heard; the sloppy smacks of Sirius' mouth echoed in the silent cabin along with the small creaking of the bed, and was the only sounds save from Sirius' hums and Remus' low moans and whimpers.

Remus' heart threatened to beat out of his chest, and his head was a mess from dizzy desire. His lower abdomen boiled with arousal, his chest constricted with lust and love, and he was left to let out pants, whines and moans from where he desperately shifted and turned on the bedsheets. He tightened his grip on the sheets until his knuckles whitened and he gritted his teeth in determination when he felt Sirius' movements quicken, his sucks harden.

He would not lift his hips. He would not accidentally hurt Sirius.

But when he felt Sirius' hands snake their way under him to press his naked buttocks as they started pulling him closer to Sirius as he took as much of Remus' in his mouth as he could Remus' felt something in him snap.

When he felt Sirius hum against him, the vibrations threatening to pull Remus over the edge, Remus tightened his grip in Sirius' hair to hold him into place and then lifted his hips thrusted up into' Sirius' mouth.

"Ah," Remus moaned when the tip of his cock hit Sirius' throat, the contact making a powerful wave of pleasure shake him as he reached out his other hand to thread in Sirius' hair as well. Lost in pleasure he made to thrust upward again, but when he heard a coughing sound come from further down the bed he remembered about Sirius.

Too lost in his dizzy pleasure to really feel guilty about what he'd done, Remus slowly opened his eyes. He gasped and felt something constrict in his chest when he saw Sirius' appearance from where he laid with his head in-between Remus' legs on the bed.

Remus felt his heart stop and shaft twitch when he saw Sirius glance over at him with eyes that screamed of lust, messy black locks curled in Remus' fingers, and cheeks tinted red. But the thing that really made Remus have to fight his urge to come right there and then was the sight of Sirius with his cock in his mouth, Sirius' lips swollen, spit and precum visible on the corner of his lips.

The sight made Remus lift his hips upward some, making his crotch slide deeper into Sirius' mouth that hung open. When Remus heard Sirius moan approvingly as he squeezed Remus' buttocks he delivered another light thrust up into Sirius' mouth, and heard himself moan from the sensation and from the sounds Sirius made.

Remus looked Sirius in the eyes as he started sucking again as he bobbed his head up and down, successfully drawing Remus closer to the edge. Remus felt like his skin was on fire, his abdomen boiling, a magical tingling feeling surging through him as Sirius worked wonders with him. He looked at Sirius but had to look away when he felt Sirius suck on him especially hard, making his cheeks hollow from the force, making Remus moan from the shiver that ran down his spine.

Absentmindedly Remus thought he saw Sirius rut down the mattress as he sucked on him, humming, moaning, and groaning against him, but Remus closed in eyes before he could think anymore about it.

When Remus felt one of Sirius' fingers snake its way to his entrance where it pressed down he automatically pushed up into Sirius' mouth again, and with a cry he came on the spot.

Moaning, Remus moving his hips, making him push into Sirius, as he alternated between fucking Sirius' mouth and press down on the finger. He lost control over his body as his muscles clenched, his groin was on fire and his heart both stopped and beat out of his chest. He felt wave and wave of pleasure surge through him, fogging his brain and making him see stars.  His back arched and toes curled as he rejoiced in it. The powerful pleasure made him release Sirius' hair in favor of gripping the sheets as he wriggled around on the bed, totally lost in the highs of his orgasm.

When his moans had turned into heavy pants he stilled. His limbs turned into jelly and suddenly he was overwhelmed by how heavy and tired he felt. Though, his heart still beat like mad, and when he turned his focus to his groin he noticed it felt warm and spent. Remus frowned. As the foggy, blissful clouds of his orgasm left his brain he noticed exactly how warm his member felt, but not only warm: wet and hot as well.

Opening his eyes Remus gasped. In his high he'd forgotten about Sirius, but there in front of him he saw his extremely sexy boyfriend release his spent cock with a content smile, if not a bit smug. Remus' eyes widened at the hot scene when he saw Sirius lick his swollen lips clean before he pulled his hands out from where they'd squeezed Remus' buttocks.

Feeling too beat to move or say anything Remus silently watched as Sirius sat back up on his knees as he flattened out his messy hair. When Remus remembered he'd done that to Sirius' hair he felt something stir in his chest, and he realized it was a mixture of nervousness and excitement.

He watched as Sirius climbed up the bed to lie down next to him who, panting heavily, tried to come back to reality. He felt a shaky smile splay on his lips when Sirius pressed their sides together, and turning his head to the side Remus saw Sirius smile at him, looking proud. Remus meant to lift an arm to wrap around Sirius but when it fell back on the mattress, weak as a noodle, he saw Sirius reach out instead, his hand finding Remus' before he threaded their fingers together.

"You're amazing," Sirius breathed down Remus' ear, making a pleasant shiver run down his spine. Remus felt his heart swell with affection then, because if one of them had been amazing it had been Sirius: Remus had only lied there after all.

"You're incredible, that, just, I don't know what to say." Remus croaked, voice hoarse from his extensive moaning. When he felt Sirius give his hand a reassuring squeeze he felt a loving smile splay on his lips. "That was brilliant, or, well, _you're_ brilliant Sirius. Where'd you get that idea?" Remus whispered to the still air of their cabin that smelled suspiciously of come.

"It's hard not to get that idea when _you've_ got the sexiest cock in the world." Sirius answered cockily, making an embarrassed flush creep up Remus' cheeks. What was Sirius doing, saying things like that? Like Remus was some sort of sex god or something?

When Remus blushing glanced down his scarred chest as he thought about all the reasons he didn't find himself looking even the remotely hot he felt Sirius give his hand another squeeze.

"Hey, I mean it. I think you're perfect. And beautiful, and, believe it or not, incredibly sexy." Sirius whispered honestly with just hint of playfulness in his voice. Remus felt a shy smile splay on his lips. Sirius was too kind, or perhaps there was something wrong with his vision, but Sirius really, honestly, cared about him and it warmed Remus' heart immensely.

"Okay. But well, if you have to know I kind of read about it somewhere some time ago." Sirius confessed. And Remus felt the selfish possessiveness in his chest rejoice over the fact Sirius probably hadn't learned the trick from someone else but from a book or another source.

"Hey, what're you thinking Moons?" Sirius pryed as he let his free hand come up to cup Remus' cheek, turning his head to look him in the eyes. Remus felt his heart jump when he saw Sirius' wonderful gray eyes look at him fondly.

"I," Remus started, unsure of what to say. He didn't want to relay his possessiveness of Sirius, afraid of him thinking Remus was selfish, but then he remembered the fact that Sirius wasn't like others considering he seemed to like Remus no matter what he did or said.

"I ehm, I just thought it- it was, ehm, good- or no that's not the word; it was great that you'd learned this from somewhere else and not from, ehm... being with someone else...?" Remus stuttered, his voice pitching at the end as he felt shame flare in his chest along with nervousness. Suddenly he hoped he hadn't got it all wrong. But then Sirius grinned at him before he leaned forward to peck the tip of Remus' nose.

"No, I haven't done this with anyone else if that's what you're asking. Why would I when I've got you? You're the love of my life after all." Sirius smiled at him gently as his hand brushed Remus' sweaty fringe off his forehead. Remus felt his heart ache with love for Sirius. He was too perfect. Too kind. Too understanding of Remus and somehow always managed to say the exact right things at the right moment.

"I love you," Remus blurted when his heart threatened to jump out of his chest and jump into Sirius'. Sirius grinned at him as he ruffled Remus' hair affectionately.

"Love you too Rem. You're perfect." Sirius said, making Remus' eyes widen and eyebrows crease as he felt confused and overwhelmed from how much his love for Sirius ached in his chest.

"Hey, come here." Sirius whispered softly as he made Remus shift closer.

Remus chest fluttered and the butterflies in his stomach churned when he felt Sirius lean in to press a soft kiss to his lips, Remus smiling into it. He felt Sirius squeeze his hand as his other hand came down to swipe all over Remus' neck and back to settle over his naked ass. Remus lifted his free hand to caress Sirius' nape, and then lifted it to scrape Sirius' scalp that he knew he loved.

They exchanged soft, sweet kisses for a while until Remus parted his lips and used his hand in Sirius' hair to make them press closer together, deepening the kiss. When Remus' tongue came in contact with Sirius' they immediately started making out on the bed, Sirius' hands rubbing his asscheeks, Remus curling his fingers so that his nails scraped Sirius' scalp.

Remus rejoiced in the hot kiss, but then he snapped up on something. Sirius tongue tasted... different. It tasted almost like-

"Wait," Remus panted as he broke the kiss, earning him a disappointing whine from Sirius who stole one last lick of Remus' bottom lip before he reluctantly leaned back to pout at Remus.

"What is it?" Sirius asked, his hands never leaving Remus, his eyes filled with lust and lips swollen. Remus let his eyes come down to the lips, and as Sirius exhaled close to Remus' nose he gasped in realization.

"Sirius!" He gasped as his eyes widened in shock. He felt his entire face redden from embarrassment, but Sirius didn't seem to get what he meant so he raised an eyebrow at him in question.

"Did you, ehm, d-did you s-swallow my, ehm," Remus' cheeks steamed from embarrassment. "My c-come?" He asked, voice pitching at the end. When he saw Sirius' eyes widen and cheeks redden he felt his chest constrict with embarrassment. He tried to ignore the fact that the notion managed to turn him on as well.

Thinking back briefly Remus thought it was kind of odd that he hadn't felt the usual stickiness linger on his bits or stomach after he' hit release. He'd know he'd come but hadn't registered where it'd went. And he didn't know whether the fact Sirius had swallowed it was good or not. In fact he didn't know anything about it. It wasn't poisonous or something, right?

Glancing back at Sirius Remus found him looking guilty. "I-I, ehm, shouldn't I? I didn't really... think?" Sirius asked with an uncharacteristic stutter. Remus felt his heart clench from seeing Sirius look so insecure. "Sorry," Sirius piped before he bit his lip nervously.

"No, it's alright." Remus smiled at him, still feeling embarrassed but since the need to comfort Sirius was greater he settled on doing that. "I actually think it's really h-hot." Remus heard himself confess suddenly, making both him and Sirius smile nervously.

"Ehm, as long as you don't have stomach ache or something it probably isn't, ehm, poisonous, right? Then it didn't do anything." Remus tried to come to a conclusion as he babbled. Sirius nodded.

"Yeah, right? But wait; it can't be poisonous, or can it? I mean it's supposed to fertilize women with a child or something, right?" Sirius wondered before he and Remus both grimaced and voiced sets of 'Yuck' and 'Eww'. None of them fancied the thought of hetero sex.

"I- I just wondered were it'd gone. Didn't know you'd swallowed it." Remus confessed with a shy smile after their session of staged-retching.

"So… is it okay if I do it again?" Sirius asked, looking a mixture of insecure and excited. When Remus felt his flaccid cock twitch with excitement he found himself nodding. Of course Sirius could do it again. He could do whatever he wanted with Remus.

"Love you." Sirius said with a proud grin before he leaned forward to plant a quick kiss to Remus' lips. Remus smiled. He never got tired of hearing that.

Remus let his hand in Sirius' hair caress it. He let his fingers swirl around the many locks of his beautiful dark hair as he watched Sirius smile at him, his hand swiping up and down Remus' asscheek, making a giddy smile splay on his lips as a giggle escaped him. He loved Sirius, and rejoiced every time they made love with each other. He loved the feeling of them melting into one, and he wondered about all the other ways they could make love in the future.

Smiling, Remus tore his gaze from Sirius' eyes, wanting to have a look at their clasped hands that lied in between them. However, as he glanced down he felt his eyebrows rise in surprise. Sirius was still hard.

And then he remembered that Sirius had sucked him of until he came, and that Sirius probably hadn't got enough friction form the mattress to hit release himself.

Remus felt guilty over the fact it'd taken him that long to notice, but then he started wondering how Sirius could've kept quiet about it for so long. Though, then he realized Sirius had probably put Remus before himself, feeling it more important for Remus to rest than to press him into helping Sirius with his hard matter.

Remus smiled a watery smile as he looked back up at Sirius, but when he saw a smirk splay on his lips Remus' smile grew into a cheeky grin. He leaned forward and pressed his lips on Sirius' and rejoiced when Sirius immediately opened his mouth to deepen it.

As Sirius kissed him Remus lowered his hand from Sirius' hair until it swiped around his waist, then he shifted on the bed until he lied on top of Sirius who let go of their clasped hands in favor of swiping his hands up and down Remus' back.

Remus still felt a bit dizzy and weak from his powerful orgasm but it didn't prevent him from straddling Sirius' hips as he suddenly felt fiercely determined to get Sirius off as well.

Remus lifted his left hand to swipe over Sirius' chest until it settled on a nipple that he pinched, earning him an aroused whine from Sirius who lowered his hands to settle on Remus' thighs where they gripped. Remus worked Sirius' nipple between his index finger and thumb and didn't stop until Sirius broke the kiss to pant into Remus' open mouth.

Glancing down between them Remus saw Sirius' eager erection between them, and he felt his own twitch in excitement as it wanted to perk again. Though, Remus didn't leave it any notice; all his focus lay on Sirius who started pulling Remus' closer, probably wanting to rub his hard shaft against Remus' thigh.

Remus lowered his right hand in between them, reaching for Sirius' cock, and when he found it he wrapped his fingers around it and gave it a slow stroke.

"Ah, Remus," Sirius panted immediately, significantly ready to hit release already after having sucked Remus off earlier.

Remus delivered another stroke to Sirius' length, this time from top to bottom, hard, and then again, and again. Sirius let his hands settle on Remus' ass where they squeezed down. Remus rejoiced in the many pants and gasps of Sirius as he started working his body in tandem with Remus' hand movements.

Remus leaned down to capture Sirius' lips in a kiss that turned into a mess of lips, spit and tongues, as he pumped Sirius in a rapid pace. Sirius lifted his hips and shifted on the bed as he tried to pull Remus impossible closer. Remus released Sirius' nipple and instead lowered the hand to grip Sirius' balls, cup them, roll them around in his hand. He tightened his grip on Sirius' shaft when Sirius broke the kiss to moan into his mouth, Remus' strokes growing harder by the second.

"Remus, I," Sirius cried and for a second Remus thought he came. But when he realized he hadn't Remus started planting open mouthed kisses to his cheeks, jaw and throat. When he reached Sirius' neck he sucked on it, successfully making Sirius pant insanities close to his ear as he lifted his hips faster from where he lay under Remus.

After sucking on Sirius' neck Remus opened his mouth, bared his teeth and bit down _hard_ on Sirius' skin. He felt Sirius still as he whimpered and tightened his grip on Remus' buttocks. Happy about his response, Remus moved his mouth some to the side before he bit down again, this time drawing a pleasurable moan from Sirius that sent a spark of arousal straight to Remus' groin.

"Ah, god, Remus, you're," Sirius breathed, but Remus didn't get to hear the rest since he interrupted himself by moaning as Remus bit down on his neck a third time. But not wanting to leave too many bite marks on Sirius' fair skin Remus lifted his head until his lips found Sirius' ear where he pressed a kiss. His hand slowed down its movements as he reached out his tongue and slowly licked Sirius' ear, making him moan and squirm on the bed.

Remus rejoiced in the fact that he knew how to make Sirius feel good. He was just about to stroke Sirius' cock to finish when an idea hit him.

He delivered one last stroke to Sirius' leaking member before he released it along with his balls. Then Remus lowered his left hand until his index finger came in contact with the puckered skin that was Sirius' entrance where it pressed down.

Remus rubbed the skin there, pondering over whether he should dare suggest his idea or not, when Sirius gasped wonderfully. Glancing up at him Remus found him watching him with glazed eyes, strands of hair sticking to his sweaty forehead, cheeks red and mouth hung agape in pleasure. Remus felt his heart jump. Sirius looked beautiful.

"Sirius?" Remus whispered. He guessed he whispered because what he was going to suggest was so intimate he didn't even risk the walls hearing him.

"Yeah?" Sirius croaked as he smiled. "What it? You know you can tell my anything, right?"

Remus felt his heart clench. Even when Sirius was literally seconds from coming he placed Remus in the first room. He didn't question Remus; he encouraged him instead. That made Remus love him impossibly more.

"Well, ehm," Remus started, chest bubbling with nervous excitement. Was he really going to do this? "Is it, is it okay if I try something new as well?" He asked insecurely. Though, when he saw Sirius' expression turn from concerned to excited he relaxed. Sirius stood by him no matter what.

"Of course Moony! I would love for you to try something new. Do whatever you want, I trust you." Sirius said honestly, his hands coming up to swipe along Remus' sides reassuringly, his eyes glistening with joy and love. Remus felt a giddy smile splay on his lips from the knowledge Sirius trusted him with anything. And after placing a quick peck on Sirius' moist lips Remus sat back up.

With one last glance at Sirius he reached for his nightstand, opened the drawer and after slipping an excited giggle he reached for the tube of lube they'd placed there. He'd remembered about the time when Sirius had used it on him, and the remembered how he'd read the full description of the many ways to use it the other day. Now Remus wondered whether what was said in it was true or not and figured he could test it on Sirius that always seemed eager to try something new. And well, if it didn't work they'd know and Remus could get Sirius off by doing something else.

"I-I thought we could use this." Remus said as he opened the lid and squirted a generous dollop on the palm of his right hand. Glancing up he saw Sirius smile at him, looking a mixture of curious and excited as he nodded at Remus.

After putting the lid back on and throwing the tube on the floor Remus rubbed his palms together, successfully covering his ten fingers with the slick substance as he heated it up. When the lube was ready Remus straddled Sirius' hips and leaned down to plant a sloppy kiss to Sirius' lips that he answered vigorously. But then Remus leaned back again, spread Sirius' legs as far as they went, as he mimicked Sirius' position earlier. Remus positioned himself back on the mattress so he had Sirius' junk in in front of him.

Swallowing, Remus looked down at Sirius' proud erection that twitched now and then. Suddenly he was overpowered by the need to taste it, but he decided against it when he reminded himself of the task at hand.  He could always taste Sirius at another time.

Instead Remus lifted his left hand and wrapped his fingers around Sirius' length before he gave it a slow stroke, this time coating it with the slippery substance that made Remus' hand movements smoother. When Sirius gasped and started moving his hips in tandem with Remus' hand Remus moved closer and then lowered his right hand to dive in-between Sirius' asscheeks.

When he found the cleft he snaked his fingers in it before he let his fingers rub over the entrance, smearing lube on it as he went on. He saw Sirius spread his legs more as he heard him whine impatiently. Glancing up from where Remus had stared nearly paralyzed at Sirius' cock he saw Sirius' gray eyes glance at him desperately.

Remus let his index finger press down the entrance then, making Sirius moan as it broke through the ring of tight muscle. Remus felt his own cock twitch with excitement. He didn't believe himself; he was growing hard again.

"Ah Remus, more," Sirius begged.

Gulping, Remus pulled out his index finger and then pushed it in again, this time as far as to his knuckle. Sirius panted from the intruder, but since his facial expression contorted into one of pleasure Remus kept going.

Remus pulled out and in his index finger once more, focused on the task of making Sirius feel good. He curled his finger inside Sirius, pushing and pulling on the hot walls surrounding him, and then pulled out again.

After recoating his index finger with lube from his palm he placed it on Sirius' entrance again, but this time next to his middle finger. Along with a firm stroke to Sirius' weeping cock Remus pushed both fingers inside, pressed them as deep as he could, and groaned from the tightness as Sirius clenched around him. Sirius tensed, but when Remus stilled for a couple of seconds he relaxed back again. Then Remus started pushing against the hot walls, searching for the sweet spot.

"Remus, I, ah," Sirius' sentence was cut short as Remus pulled his fingers all the way out and then pushed them all the way back in again. That earned him a filthy moan from Sirius, as well as he felt his cock twitch in his hand. Glancing up, Remus saw that Sirius had closed his eyes from where he laid panting on the mattress, hands clenching and unclenching next to him.

Remus kept finger fucking Sirius' entrance all the while Sirius started wriggling and lifting his hips so that he alternated between meeting Remus' fingers and meeting Remus' hand. But Remus wasn't satisfied with just that. He still hadn't found what he was looking for.

After coating his index and middle finger in lube from his palm he pushed them inside Sirius again, and then started scissoring them inside. It was difficult to concentrate when Sirius panted, groaned and moaned from above him, seemingly nearly going mad with his desire to get off already, but Remus kept his focus. He pressed around Sirius' walls, harder each time as he twisted, turned and angled his fingers in all possible ways.

He started to give up and wondered if he should just stroke Sirius to finish when something happened.

"Ah!" Sirius half moaned, half shouted, as his hips automatically lifted off the bed, his cock pulsated in Remus' hand, his walls clenched around Remus' fingers. Remus startled at first, but then he felt a proud smile tug on his lips. He'd found it.

"T-there, that, do- do it again," Sirius panted. "Please," He added, and Remus realized that Sirius had actually _begged_ for Remus to do it again.

After delivering a hard stroke to Sirius' cock Remus turned his focus back to his hand and then angled up his fingers again. Immediately, Sirius jerked up the mattress as a loud moan escaped him. When he lied back down he panted harsh, like he'd been running, and Remus saw that his entire chest was covered with a sheen of sweat.

"More," Sirius whined desperately, the sound sending a spark of arousal to Remus' groin. Though, he found himself raising his eyebrows partly in surprise, partly in joy. He'd never guessed Sirius would like this as much as he did.

Remus angled his fingers up again, successfully hitting Sirius' sweet spot, earning him another set of filthy moans. Then he started rubbing his fingers against it, at the same time he delivered a set of hard strokes to Sirius' slicked up cock.

Sirius panted, whined and moaned from where he twisted and turned on the mattress. He was left to Remus' mercy from where he worked like mad on trying to get Sirius off.

"Ah, ah, oh god, Remus," Sirius panted as he alternated between thrusting up to meet Remus' hand and push down on Remus' fingers that worked on him from inside. "Remus, so, so good, ah, ah," Sirius babbled as he gripped the sheets around him, his face contorted in pleasure.

With one final hard stroke to Sirius' cock he moaned out loud and came. He threw his head back down on the pillow and spread his legs impossibly more as he almost ripped the sheets from his firm grip on them. Remus felt Sirius clench around his fingers but didn't stop rubbing against his sweet spot. Remus pumped Sirius' shaft from top to bottom, successfully milking him as he spurted come all over his stomach and Remus' hand.

Remus worked Sirius to finish while he watched how he panted and wriggled around under his hands. Remus felt his chest swirl with excitement as he saw Sirius' chest heave up and down, his eyebrows furrow and mouth hung agape from where he relished in the bliss of his orgasm.

After a while Sirius stilled, but then he spasmed as Remus kept rubbing against him. Though, after watching Sirius gasp twice Remus got the message and stopped his movements. He released Sirius' now flaccid dick and then slowly started pull out his fingers out of Sirius' entrance. As he pulled out his fingers he ultimately felt how stretched open Sirius was and he felt his cheeks heat up. He'd done that to Sirius.

With a sloppy sound that made Remus' blush spread to his toes he pulled out his fingers. He heard Sirius gasp from where he laid rejoicing in bliss, but it turned into a groan when Remus helped him lower his legs down to lie down straight on the bed.

Remus looked around some until he gripped the furthest end of the covers where he wiped his dirty hands on the corner of it. But as he cleaned off the remains of Sirius' come that had stuck to his hand he stopped. Glancing out of the corners of his eyes he saw that Sirius still lay panting with his eyes closed, showing no sign of opening them anytime soon.

Remus glanced back down at his now clean hand, and then he looked at Sirius' spent dick. As his eyes trailed up to Sirius' come stained stomach he felt his curiosity peak. Sirius had tasted him, he remembered. And since Sirius still seemed fine it couldn't be poisonous.

As Remus reached out his left hand he hesitated. Was he really going to do this? But then he remembered how he'd longed to get a taste of Sirius before and the fact that he loved everything about Sirius and that this only was another part of him that Remus wanted to get familiar with. Plus of course the fact that Sirius wasn't looking right now.

So Remus reached out his left hand, extended his index finger to Sirius' stomach where he scooped up some of the sticky substance. Tentatively he lifted his hand back up until he could look at the finger in eye sight. After taking a deep breath to try and still his racing heart he opened his mouth and placed the finger on his tongue. As he sucked his finger clean he found that the taste was very odd, but not particularly bad. It tasted... salty.

"Wow Remus. I think that's the sexiest thing I've ever seen, god, if you do that again we might need another go." Sirius croaked suddenly, making Remus quickly snap his head to the side to find Sirius looking at him, chest heaving as he bit his lip.

Swallowing, Remus stopped sucking on his finger and let his hand hang by his side. After smiling shyly Remus reached for the corner of the cover and used it to wipe off some of the come from Sirius' stomach before he lay back down on the bed next to Sirius who immediately wrapped Remus in a bear hug with his warm arms. Remus rejoiced when he could smell Sirius' unique scent everywhere, and he thought the way their sweaty chests pressed together was wonderfully intimate. He knew he was already half hard again, but ignored it. He wanted to get some quality cuddling with Sirius now.

"That was amazing." Sirius whispered close to Remus' ear before he pressed a smacking kiss to it, making Remus' smile grow into a grin as the butterflies in his stomach fluttered.

"Glad you liked it." Remus giggled, feeling lovesick from where Sirius kissed his way along his ear and throat. He tightened his grip around Sirius and then threw a leg over his waist, using it to pull them even closer together.

"What was that thing that felt so good now again?" Sirius whispered as he finished his kissing session with a soft kiss to Remus' lips. Remus wondered if Sirius actually know from before or if he only said 'now again' for it to seem like he did.

"The prostate." Remus whispered, his cheeks burning, lips forming into a nervous smile. In front of him Sirius' gray eyes sparkled in silver for a second as his smile grew into a knowing smirk.

"I think someone read the instructions on the paper following the lube?" Sirius teased. Remus pouted as he felt embarrassed. Though, when Sirius' smile turned fond as he lifted a hand to play with Remus' hair he felt his embarrassment fade.

"Sorry, didn't mean to make you upset." Sirius apologized sincerely. Remus felt his heart jump when he saw Sirius' serious expression. "That was incredible, though. Like out of this world even." Sirius huffed in disbelief as he lowered his hand from Remus' hair to settle on his naked buttock where it started swiping slow soothing circles.

"I'm so lucky to have you Remus. You're perfect." Sirius whispered, making Remus' heart swell with affection again. He reached out a hand to caress Sirius' cheek as his amber eyes bored into Sirius' gray.

"I love you." Remus breathed sincerely. He didn't know how else to explain his souls' desire to constantly try jump over to Sirius, be close to him, become one with him.

"I love you too." Sirius grinned. Then Remus felt himself being pulled in for a passionate kiss. This kiss was slow and reassuring. It left Remus feeling content, protected and safe all at the same time.

They kissed and kissed as Remus clung to Sirius that pulled him in closer. Remus never wanted the kiss to end. He loved being in love with Sirius.

''''''''''

"Ah! My eyes, my eyes!"

Remus jolted awake from the loud squeak. Squinting, he turned his head to the side and saw Peter stumble in through the door, one hand covering his eyes, one hand outreached in front of him as he tried to turn around.

"It's just Wormtail," Sirius mumbled.

Remus nodded and then started to make himself comfortable in Sirius' warm embrace again, but when he felt a shill breeze hit his back he stilled. He was still butt naked.

"Wormy what's the mat- oh!" James exclaimed as he walked in through the door at the exact moment Remus started fiddling for the covers around him.

"Hey! Is this were you were off to! We wondered why you left!" James shouted in surprise as he walked towards the bed. With a panicked squeak Remus managed to lift the covers up to cover himself and Sirius that still lay naked on the bed with their arms, legs and hair tangled together in a mess.

"Stop screaming Prongs, we can hear you just fine." Sirius muttered from where he wrapped his arms tighter around Remus.

"I'll let you know that you two just missed out on the adventure of the century!" James chirped, apparently ignoring Sirius' mocking comment. "Why? Because Wormy and I swam almost all the way over to the girl's camp!" James sang proudly as he strutted around room. "I almost even got to greet fair Miss Evans!" James sang,

Remus and Sirius groaned both. Not another Lily story.

"Congratulations." Remus heard Sirius mumble, sounding half bored, half irritated. Remus figured he just said that to try and get James to walk away again.

"Can we go now?" Peter piped suddenly, sounding scared. Remus wondered why but when he heard James gasp dramatically he realized he probably didn't want know so he buried his face deeper into Sirius' chest.

"Wormy quickly, look away. This is not something fit for underage eyes!" James hissed to which Peter squeaked. Remus heard fading footsteps and guessed Peter ran out the door in a hurry.

"Now that we've found you we were going to ask if you wanted to join us, but I think we'll come back later instead." James said with a light chuckle before Remus heard retreating footsteps and a faint shout of "Wormy, wait for me!" as the door shut closed behind them.

Remus was too exhausted still after his and Sirius earlier love making to really get what James and Peter were on about so he settled for continuing his cozy afternoon nap with Sirius.

He felt a content smile tug on his lips when Sirius pressed a kiss to the top of his head, and it was after voicing a small laugh that he went back into the blissful nap. Protected and safe in Sirius' warm embrace.


	25. Bittersweet

The following week and a half was spent in a wonderful blur of smiles, laughter and love.

Remus and Sirius did everything together. They shared a bed, brushed their teeth, ate, went to activity and played games or planned pranks with James and Peter. They were inseparable and Remus loved it.

They stole kisses from each other on every opportunity; they kissed on the clearing in the forest, made out on the secret glade on the other side of the fence and had made use of the lube on more occasions than one.

Remus and Sirius did everything together, and it didn't take long before James joked about them being glued together. But Remus didn't mind if anyone thought it odd because he felt happy. Happier than he'd ever been in his entire life and it was all thanks to Sirius who took his hand in his, sat down in his lap or kissed him when he thought no one was looking.

They bathed in the lake, built sandcastles and danced to music Slughorn played on the radio he'd brought out for the last bonfire with the girl's camp of the summer.

That evening they had also played a game called 'Pass it on' where you sat in a circle and one person whispered a sentence to the one sitting next to them, and then watched as the others whispered the sentences until the last one in the circle said it out loud again.

When it had been Sirius turn he'd leaned close to Remus' ear and whispered 'You're sexy'. And Remus who immediately blushed had turned to Peter where he whispered it to him, but he had jumped up in fear and aimed a light slap on Remus' cheek. Though, then Sirius had shouted 'Hey, don't hit him!', and James had had to interfere.

Apparently Remus hadn't been supposed to pass 'You're sexy' on to Peter. He'd felt extremely stupid and embarrassed over his slip up, but he'd laughed at it many times afterwards.

Rosier and Snape still snarled, sneezed or spat mean words at them when they passed in corridors or outside on the grounds, but they hadn't left anymore notes or tried to prank them again.

Regulus almost seemed to have disappeared from the camp as it could be days when none of them spotted him anywhere. They'd even broken into cabin 9 once when Sirius suspected he'd went home early, but when they'd found the wardrobe still filled to the brim with fancy clothes they'd sneaked back out again. Remus knew Sirius never would admit it but he cared about Regulus. He was his little brother after all.

Except for the times where they walked into Rosier or Snape Remus lived life like in a dream. He spent the days walking hand in hand with Sirius, having fun by themselves or joining James and Peter in a new game.

And the nights Remus spent making love with Sirius. Remus was desperate to become one with Sirius, had to relay his love to him, and since Sirius seemed urged on by that same desire they sometimes managed to go at it twice a day.

Even though James and Peter weren't particularly fond of spending so much time out of their cabin they let Remus and Sirius have it for themselves at least a couple of hours a day. And if that wasn't enough Sirius led them to the small cupboard, the forest or found a new place for them to use as they explored each other's bodies.

Remus became drunk on love as he spent every waking moment in close proximity to Sirius. It was like the most brilliant fairytale, or sweetest dream, and he never wanted it to stop.

But eventually you have to wake up even from the most wonderful of dreams and face reality. That's what Remus felt as the last day of the camp approached all too quickly.

Remus had pushed the fact that his days on the camp was limited to the very far back of his mind since the mere thought or mention of it made his stomach clench uncomfortably. He had deliberately not thought about it for all summer, but that only made the shock about his soon departure even more severe.

He couldn't believe he would have to leave the camp for the last time. It felt surreal. It _couldn't_ be real. He couldn't separate from Sirius.

'''''''''''

As Remus held onto Sirius that evening he felt overwhelmed by a looming sadness that made his chest hurt. He was on the verge of tears and had been for the entire day and was afraid the tears would escape his eyes as soon as he opened his mouth to speak.

Sirius looked into his eyes with an expression that changed from concerned to sad. Remus felt his own eyes mirror them, and he let a sad sigh escape his lips.

This night they wouldn't spend on making love, Remus realized with another sharp jab of pain in his chest. This night they would spend mourning the future nights and days they would have to spend separate.

"You alright?" Sirius whispered, snapping Remus out of his sad thoughts.

"Yeah, I'm fine." He lied as he snuggled in closer to the hug. He wanted to really live in the moment and relish in the feeling of having Sirius close to him. He didn't dare think of how long it might take until they would share another moment like this again.

"You really want me to believe you're 'fine' when I can see your eyes watering? I don't suppose those are tears of happiness, or are they?" Sirius whispered as he loosened the hug to get a good look on Remus' watery eyes.

Remus smiled sadly at Sirius when he saw Sirius' eyes glance into his, thick with worry.

"I'm just worrying about the future. I don't want us to separate." Remus whispered, his voice breaking into a sob at the end, making Sirius' lower lip shake worryingly.

"I-we," Sirius started but didn't get to finish his sentence as his voice broke at the end. Instead he glanced deeply into Remus' eyes, almost desperately. Remus felt his heart clench painfully and another sob escape him when he saw the first tear run down Sirius' cheek.

"Don't cry," Remus whispered as reassuringly as he could, but the effect got lost when a set of tears ran down his cheeks as well. It all just hurt too much. He didn't want to leave Sirius. He didn't want Sirius to leave him. They belonged together.

He felt Sirius shift on the bed and then felt his right hand being held by one of Sirius'. He watched as Sirius lifted their clasped hands to lay pressed in between their chests, and felt another sob escape him when he saw the rings on their fingers.

"You still wear it." Remus whispered, voice so low it was a wonder Sirius could even make out the words.

"The ring? Of course I do. I got it from you." Sirius said as he aimed Remus a watery smile that made his heart clench again.

They spent a moment in silence where they looked at their clasped hands. When Remus felt Sirius tighten his grip around his hand he did as well, and soon they held on to each other so fiercely that their knuckles turned white. But it still didn't feel enough. Remus never wanted to let go. He wanted to meld together with Sirius.

"When are your parents coming to pick you up tomorrow?" Sirius asked.

Remus tried to keep his voice as steady as possible when he answered. "Around four I think. You?"

He tried not to think about how Sirius' eyes got that haunted look back in them. And he tried not to think about what Sirius' family members might do to him if they'd found out about their relationship.

It hurt too much to think about Sirius in pain.

"Same." Sirius whispered, eyes darkened with sorrow. Remus guessed his eyes own eyes looked the same.

They silent for another moment as Remus felt Sirius lift his free hand to trace his hair. Remus closed his eyes, wanting to remember the feeling of Sirius' fingers in his hair for another time when he heard Sirius clear his throat next to him.

"We- When we're older, couldn't we get a flat together? Or- or something...? I don't want to leave you," Sirius suggested, voice insecure.

Remus felt his heart jump in a mixture of surprise and excitement. Sirius didn't want to leave him. Sirius wanted to share a flat with him!

"Yes! Or, I mean, I would love that." Remus confessed with a small smile that grew into a grin when Sirius smiled at him shyly.

"I love you." Sirius told him honestly, making Remus' heart constrict in grief again.

"I love you too. To the moon and back." Remus said before he wiped his nose on his shoulder.

"I see what you did there _Moony_." Sirius said, grinning at him.

Remus aimed a playful jab in Sirius' chest, feeling a light chuckle escape him, but then the lingering pain in his chest made itself reminded again.

"I don't want to leave tomorrow. I'll miss you." Remus cried as another sob shook him, sending tears running down his cheeks. Immediately Sirius' hand was there, wiping them away, and then Remus felt a pair of soft lips kiss the tears away from his cheeks. He smiled sadly thought about the face it was Sirius' lips.

"Shh, don't cry." Sirius soothed as his free hand stroked Remus' hair. "I love you and always will." Sirius smiled at him, but the smile didn't reach his sad eyes. "We'll find a way..." Sirius trailed off, eyes flicking from Remus' forehead, to cheeks, to eyes. Remus guessed Sirius was trying to take mental pictures of what the other looked like, just like himself.

Remus felt Sirius press a soft kiss to his lips that he answered. Then they lay back to look each other in the eyes for a while.

"I- I read something the other day." Remus heard himself say just as he saw Sirius' eyelids threaten to slide shut.

"Hm?" Sirius hummed as he shifted on the pillow, positioning them nose to nose and stealing a kiss from Remus before he continued.

"... Do you believe in soulmates?" Remus asked, but when he saw Sirius look at him confused he went on with the explanation.

"It's kind of like a theory that two people are made for each other. It basically means the belief that there are two people who are perfectly made for each other that will find each other in every world. They will find each other and fall in love, again and again, with nothing stopping them because they are linked by fate. Linked by their souls." Remus explained, voice low as he waited for a reaction from Sirius.

When Sirius' mouth formed into an 'o' and his eyes widened Remus went on.

"Do you- Do you perhaps think, think we are...?" Remus whispered, his heart stopping in anticipation to Sirius' thoughts.

"That we're soulmates? I don't know, I've never heard of it before, but I think we could be." Sirius whispered, voice astonished like he'd just realized something he'd searched the answer for during a long time.

"Hope you don't think I'm creepy or anything now," Remus started, feeling insecure but relaxing when Sirius smiled at him reassuringly and whispered "Nothing can make me think you're creepy. You're always as wonderful as an angel." So Remus went on his with suspicion.

"I get the feeling that we, even thought it might sound weird, connect somehow. Like on a deeper level. Like we belong with each other," Remus whispered, feeling his cheeks heat up from his confession. Suddenly he hoped Sirius felt the same.

"... Like on a soul level?" Sirius asked him, eyes big and curious.

"Yeah..." Remus trailed off. He searched Sirius' gray eyes for an answer, but then he felt Sirius tighten his grip around his hand and saw his eyes glisten with affection.

"I think that as well, or I mean, I feel the same." Sirius whispered, voice sounding almost excited.

"You do?" Remus asked, feeling overwhelmed by the fact Sirius felt the same. What if it was true and they really where soulmates?

But as he watched Sirius nod at him he felt his excitement fade. Whether they were soulmates or not didn't matter. Nothing mattered save for the fact he and Sirius would have to part ways the next day, and the fact there was nothing they could do about it.

As Remus let himself think about it he felt his chest constrict with pain. Tears ran down his cheeks and he felt himself start to panic.

"I don't want to spend any time away from you." Remus heard himself plead all of a sudden. "We don't even know when we'll see each other again, I-I can't take that. I-I can't live without you. I can't survive without you!" Remus pleaded right before he released Sirius' hand in favor of gripping Sirius' pajama top.

"I can't..." He cried, voice breaking into a sob, tears streaming down his cheeks as he held onto Sirius' pajama top as if his life depended on it.

Then he realized it did. His life did depend on his grip on Sirius' shirt. He wouldn't survive without him.

" _Remus_ ," Sirius begged as he placed a hand over Remus'. "Remus I don't want to leave you, I-"

"But you will. I can't even send you letters!" Remus cried as he buried his face against Sirius' neck. "You, you can't just do this! You can't make me fall in love with you and then not give me any way to contact you!" Remus screamed into Sirius' neck.

He didn't care if he accidentally woke James or Peter up anymore. It would only serve them right. One night of interrupted sleep still couldn't even begin to measure the many sleepless nights Remus would face when he returned back home.

"Remus," Sirius whimpered as Remus felt a sob shake him. "Remus I don't _want_ to leave! I don't ever want to leave you! I want to stay with you forever. I thought you knew that." Sirius cried as Remus felt a set of warm tears land on his neck.

"But why can't I write to you?" Remus whimpered as he dried his wet eyes on Sirius' pajama top and then leaned back to look Sirius in the eyes.

He saw Sirius look at him with a pained expression that made Remus' heart break.

"They burn all letters to me and read through the ones I want to send." Sirius confessed, his eyes so filled with sadness that Remus felt the need to cry a river.

"Who?" Remus demanded but then he remembered.

"Walburga and Kreacher." Sirius exhaled.

When Remus saw the haunted expression return in Sirius' eyes he felt the lingering accusations for Sirius not being able to contact him fade. It wasn't his fault. It was the horrible Walburga and Kreacher's faults. And Remus hated them for it.

"It's alright. It's not your fault. Sorry I got so upset." Remus whispered as he tried to soothe the haunted expression from Sirius' eyes by swiping a hand up and down his back. Sirius smiled at him, but it was a sad smile that made Remus heart break from just a swift look of it.

"We'll think of something." Sirius told him, eyes turning serious. "This isn't the end for us. This _can't_ be the end." Sirius decided while shaking his head. "I love you and _have_ to be with you."

Remus buried his head deeper into Sirius' neck and pressed a kiss to it. The lump in his throat had grown and he knew it would make his voice break into a sob if he spoke.

"I never want to be with anyone else. It has to be you. It has always been you. I _belong_ to you." Sirius said, his voice breaking here and there due to sad sobs before he lifted a hand to thread in Remus' hair. Remus sobbed into Sirius' neck but then leaned back to look him in the eyes.

He stared into Sirius' sad, grey eyes that shimmered in silver from the faint moonlight shining through their window, illuminating the cabin. Remus found himself get lost in them, not ever wanting to look away.

"Maybe... maybe we could run away." Sirius said suddenly.

"No... You don't mean? You would want to run away with... me?" Remus said in disbelief. Was he serious?

"I told you before didn't I? You're my hero and mean everything to me. I can't live without you either." Sirius' eyes bored into his with intensity. "So why don't we run away?"

Remus immediately felt his heart swell with happiness and excitement both. Finally he felt some hope for the future. But then reality dawned on him again.

"But... where would we go?" Remus piped as the hope left as soon as it had come.

"I, ehm, we'll decide that on the way." Sirius said as a crease appeared between his eyebrows. Remus lifted a hand and let his thumb swipe over the crease until it disappeared.

"What if anyone found out and went searching for us?" Remus whispered.

"Then we would hide." Sirius said as he nodded his head.

"But... I don't have any money." Remus confessed. He felt his chest constrict nervously. He'd never really told Sirius about the fact his family was poor; he'd always thought that would make Sirius think less of him somehow. He knew it was stupid of him to think that considering he had worn hand-me-down clothes since they first met, but still.

Sirius' frown returned at that revelation.

"Me neither." Sirius said with a sigh. "They didn't let me bring any to the camp. Said I wouldn't need it. I should've known they just prevented me from running away." Sirius said as he closed his eyes, face in deep grief.

"What do you mean? Have you planned on running away before?" Remus asked, unsure whether the topic was safe or not. He didn't want Sirius to feel worse than he already did.

"I've been thinking about it since a couple of years back. But if I'm honest I've always felt that I didn't belong there. They all think of me as a black sheep as well. They only want me to stay in order to bring new generations of Black's to the family." Sirius said with a shrug, trying to act nonchalant, but Remus could see he didn't take this lightly. He looked worried.

"That sounds awful." Remus said as he let a hand swipe up and down Sirius back reassuringly.

"Yeah but I'm used to it. Don't worry for me. Let me see that beautiful smile on your lips instead." Sirius lifted his hand to cup Remus' chin and them swept his thumb over Remus' lips until he'd turned them into a sad smile.

"Want to run away with me?" Sirius whispered, eyes boring into Remus'.

"I'd love to," Remus said as he blinked away a new set of tears. "But I can't. We can't. We don't have any money, no plan and we would probably end up starving to death within three days."

Sirius frowned at him before he bit his lip in worry. "Perhaps I could send a letter to my uncle Alphard...?"

Remus let a helpless sigh escape him. He gave up all his efforts to stay at the camp with Sirius. He knew they couldn't. They would have to part. It was meaningless to get his hopes up.

"Hey," Sirius whispered softly, snapping Remus out of his depressive thoughts.

"Hm?"

"I love you." Sirius told him with a fond, but sad, smile before he leaned forward to plant a kiss on his lips. Remus kissed him back fervently, wanting to remember the very feel, taste and sensation of kissing Sirius.

They kissed until the world around them seemed to disappear and the sole center of the universe became the two of them as they hugged and kissed on the bed. They only parted when Remus felt himself start to relax as the tiredness caught with to him.

"Fate is really cruel, isn't it?" He heard himself mumble before he closed his eyes.

"It doesn't seem to like us very much." Sirius whispered as a reply as he pulled Remus closer.

"But I like you." Remus said as he felt a small smile tug at his lips.

"And I love you." Sirius whispered back.

Remus felt a soft pair of lips kiss his before he fell asleep.

'''''''''

"You coming? Wormy and I are leaving in less than twenty."

Remus slowly, hesitantly, opened his eyes. He'd barely slept at all, and when he did he'd been tormented by horrible nightmares of Sirius leaving him for someone else when he was too far away to do anything about it. And that's when Remus had realized that had been his greatest fear; losing Sirius. Or more like; losing Sirius to someone else.

He closed his eyes for one more minute as he let himself take in the feel of having Sirius lying so close to him.

He thought it was ironical that when he finally got the love of his life to like him back they couldn't meet anymore. He didn't know when he would meet again Sirius after this day. In fact, he didn't know if he'd ever meet him again. With no way of communicating it all seemed too hopeless to even try and wish for a miracle.

As they got up to get themselves ready Remus felt his heart break into tiny little pieces. It was the 31st of July. The last day of the camp. The last day with Sirius.

Remus and Sirius just had the time to get ready and dump their belongings in their trunks before it was time for James and Peter to leave.

The four of them dragged their trunks with their heads bent and backs hunched. The atmosphere was gloomy and Remus thought his chest was going to explode with sorrow.

He allowed himself one last look of the cabin where he'd spent the three best summers of his life before he walked outside. When he'd walked down the stairs he looked back at the door and felt his heart break a little more when he saw the inscriptions on the old door. 'Prongs Wormtail, Padfoot Moony' was carved into the wood in the middle of the door. Remus remembered they probably couldn't reach much higher on the door at the time. They had only been eleven after all.

"Coming Moony?" James asked him as he dragged his trunk after him on his way to the path.

"Coming..." Remus mumbled quietly, lump in his throat too thick for him to try and say anything higher.

With his whole being screaming for him to stay where he was he started dragging his trunk after James, Sirius and Peter. He saw Sirius stop until he'd caught up with him and felt his heart swell with love again. He let his shoulders bump into Sirius as they walked, making a small smile tug on Remus' lips. Even though it was now the day he'd dreaded for weeks he felt the butterflies in his stomach churn, always eager to respond to Sirius.

They walked to the parking lot where they hugged James and Peter goodbye. Before they parted they all exchanged telephone numbers and addressed as they promised each other to write every day.

However, for Remus it was only words. He knew he wouldn't be able to contact Sirius and that made him want to contact the others even less. Sure, it would be nice to have a pen pal, but it couldn't compare to having Sirius.

Remus and Sirius waved them off and made to head back inside, but then Remus saw James turn around and run back to talk to him off-side.

"Hey, Moony." James said, voice hushed and determined.

"What is it?" Remus asked.

"I just want you to know that you can always contact me if something happens or something. Just so you know. If you miss Padfoot, or something happens. Just contact me and I'll be there, alright?" He said, eyes honest.

Remus raised his eyebrows in surprise. "Wow, ehm, okay. That was very thoughtful of you. Thanks." Remus said as he brought a hand up to scratch his hair awkwardly. He felt really moved. For some reason he hadn't really got that James card about him so much. It really warmed his heart.

"I might even come visit you sometime if you want to." James said a grin. "And it totally isn't because of your friendship with the fair Miss Evans." James said with a wink and smug grin that made Remus roll his eyes.

Of course James would want to visit him. He was still nuts about Lily.

"Hey, you're not trying to steal my boyfriend now, are you?" Remus heard Sirius say as he cut in the conversation while he hooked arms with Remus. "I know he's hot but he's taken." Sirius said as he raised his chin in the air, looking proud.

"Me, stealing Moony from you? Dream on." James laughed, making Remus unsure whether to feel offended or not. "I meant what I said though." James told Remus seriously before he turned around to run back to the awaiting car.

"Bye! Have a nice rest of the summer! Don't miss me too much! Say hi to Evans from me!" James shouted over his shoulder before he flung open the car door, jumped in and slammed it close behind him. He waved down the window to wave at them just as the car engine started and he was driven away from the camp.

"Bye James." Remus whispered as he stopped waving in favor of letting his hand hang by his side.

"And then there were two." He heard Sirius state, his voice final. Remus turned to the side to glance in his eyes. He felt his heart clench when a tear ran down Sirius' cheek.

"Want to hold my hand?" Sirius whispered, voice breaking at the end as he extended his right hand for Remus to take.

"You don't have to ask. The answer will always be yes." Remus told him as he took the hand and held it with a secure grip. He loved the way Sirius' hand seemed to fit perfectly with his, almost as if they were mold to fit together.

Hand in hand they walked over to the dining hall where they left their trunks. None felt like eating anything so instead they headed outside where they walked around the grounds one final time. They walked by the beach, walked out on the bridge, walked past all ten cabins, by the outskirts of the forest and then back to the main building.

Every minute or so Sirius told Remus he loved him, the words making Remus' heart bleed in pain by the fact he would soon have to let go. He felt tears burn in his eyes and then let them run free down his cheeks.

He tightened his grip around Sirius' hand and felt him do the same as they in silence cried while they walked next to each other.

When they'd walked three laps around the grounds Sirius found a bench that he pointed at. They walked towards it and then sat down on it. They sat in silence for a moment but then Remus climbed up Sirius' lap and wrapped his arms around him in a tight embrace that Sirius answered with fervor.

With his throat aching, chest constricting and voice breaking Remus let Sirius know how much he loved him once more.

Then they dreamed away again. They fantasized about running away to the forest on the other side of the fence. Fantasized about breaking into one of the cars and take off in the sunset. They even fantasized about hiding in their cabin and hope that no one would remember them missing.

Remus sighed every time he thought about the fact that he lived in Wales and Sirius in London. It was too far to take the bike, and too expensive for him to take the train. And even though Sirius probably had the money for it his off family would never allow him.

They held onto each other for the remaining time leading up to their departure. Though, all too soon it was quarter to four and the both of them had to start heading back for the parking lot for their parents to pick them up.

Crying, Remus felt Sirius wrap an arm over his shoulders. He let his own arm wrap around Sirius waist and then they were off toward the main building.

When they had retrieved their trunks from the dining hall Remus made to steer them for the parking lot but felt Sirius tug him in the opposite direction. Eager as he was to follow Sirius he felt himself being led away. He wondered where they were going for a moment but when he saw a sigh that said _H.Slughorn_ by one of the doors by the wall he got what Sirius was thinking.

He was planning on sneaking into Slughorn's office like two years ago.

"In here." Sirius hushed as he opened the door and slid inside, pulling Remus after him. The office was empty, though Remus wondered if Sirius had known that or if he'd rushed in on pure luck.

When Sirius had closed the door behind them he positioned himself so that they were standing face to face, with their hands still clasped together. Sirius looked Remus deeply in the eyes before he let a mischievous quirk at the corners of his lips.

"Close your eyes, I want to give you something." Sirius said, making Remus' heart jump as he remembered those exact words being said before.

"Okay." Remus said as he felt a giddy smile tug at his lips.

After one last look at Sirius who looked excited Remus closed his eyes, and instantly he felt Sirius wrap an arm around his neck, using it to pull them into a kiss.

Remus lifted his free hand to thread in Sirius' long hair, and rejoiced when he felt Sirius' hand swipe up to scrape his scalp. He felt Sirius' lips press against him, gently at first but then growing more determined as they parted, pressed and nibbled on Remus'.

When Remus felt Sirius suck on his lower lip he opened his mouth and angled his head to allow Sirius' tongue entrance. And when he felt the tip of Sirius' tongue slide against his own he could feel a shiver run down his spine. His heart jumped as every nerve ending in his body sang.

As he kissed Sirius he felt complete. He felt his body relax and jump with excitement at the same time. He felt fireworks in his chest. He felt laughter bubbling to slip out of him.

He felt like he'd found home.

Remus let go of Sirius' hand and instead wrapped it around Sirius waist. He felt Sirius do the same, the both of them trying to pull them closer together.

Remus kissed Sirius fervently and felt Sirius do the same. Remus pulled Sirius closer, tightened his grip in his hair and hoped that if they kissed long enough they might melt together and never have to let go.

Though, just as he let his other hand run up to Sirius' hair he felt Sirius break the kiss. Break their magical kiss that was over all too soon.

"I'm sorry. I have to go." Sirius breathed.

Glancing up Remus saw that his lips were swollen and cheeks flushed. Glancing up further Remus saw Sirius' eyes, but immediately felt a sharp stab of pain reach his heart when he saw the pain in them.

"No," Remus heard himself plead helplessly. "No, don't leave me!" Remus begged, voice breaking as tears streamed down his cheeks.

"I'm sorry." Sirius cried as he lifted an arm to cover his mouth.

Remus flung himself on Sirius, pressed desperate kisses on his neck, cheeks and lips, but Sirius didn't stop crying. Remus neither.

"I'll miss you." Sirius whispered. Remus looked into his eyes and felt his heart break when he thought he might just look into Sirius' eyes for the last time.

"I love you!" Remus blurted, desperate to let him know how he felt one last time. "I will always love you."

Sirius smiled at him sadly as he lowered the arm that had covered his mouth. "I love you too Remus. To the _moon_ and back." Sirius said with a playful wink, but the joke was lost when he broke out into another sob.

"Don't forget me." Remus heard himself plead as Sirius took a step back, furiously wiping his eyes.

"Forget you? How could I ever forget you? You're the love of my life!" Sirius cried, making Remus heart break again.

"Will- will I ever get to see you again?" Remus asked desperately as he took a step forward to close the distance between them again.

Sirius shook his head. "I-, we-, we'll think of something. I'll think of something. They can't keep me isolated from the world forever." Sirius said and Remus felt hatred rise up in his chest when he thought about who 'they' were. Walburga and Kreacher.

Remus stared into Sirius' eyes desperately for a second before he saw Sirius lean forward to press a final kiss on his lips.

"Good bye Remus." Sirius said as they parted. Remus struggled to make out his expressions as his vision turned blurry from the many tears of his extensive crying.

"Good bye Sirius." Remus said, but then he quickly extended his right hand and held it out in front of Sirius. "One last time?" He piped.

Sirius' eyes widened and then an odd strangled noise escaped his throat as he lifted his right hand. In silence they did their secret handshake, and Remus could still feel small shivers of pleasure surge through him from every brush of Sirius' fingers against his own.

"Good bye Remus. Love you. See you soon," Sirius whispered, voice broken, as he took a step back again. He gazed into Remus' eyes with a sad expression.

"See you soon." Remus said and for a second he felt a sting of hope flare in his chest. Though, it disappeared the moment he saw Sirius turn around, grip his trunk, open the door and walk outside.

Remus kept staring at the open door for a while, but then he felt himself start to panic for real.

Sirius had left him.

He was all alone again.

"Sirius, wait!" He heard himself shout as he gripped his trunk and ran out the door to the empty corridor outside. He snapped his head around but couldn't spot Sirius anywhere.

He ran out of the corridor, past the reception desk towards the main entrance. He ran up to the doors, chest heaving with a mixture of panic and exhaustion. He opened the doors and ran outside and that's when he finally spotted Sirius.

"Sirius!" He screamed desperately at the dark haired boy who just stepped inside an expensive looking car on the parking lot. However, as the boy turned around Remus winced as he saw it was Regulus who glared at him. Remus grimaced at him and waved once before he snapped his head from side to side to locate Sirius again.

"Miss me already?"

Remus turned around faster than he'd done anything in his life and wrapped Sirius in a tight hug. He pressed his face against Sirius' neck and breathed in. It smelled like safe.

"Don't leave me." Remus cried into Sirius' neck as he felt Sirius hug him tightly.

"Don't want to." Sirius whispered. "But I have to go now. Regulus is motioning for me to hurry on."

Reluctantly, Remus loosened his grip around Sirius and took a step back. He wiped his tear-stained face on his sleeve and then pouted at Sirius who smiled at him sadly.

"Remember what I told you before? I will always love you. You're perfect, you're beautiful and the best person ever to walk this earth. We'll meet again. I'm sure of it." Sirius said as a last goodbye. Remus nodded but didn't feel persuaded. He saw a tear roll down Sirius' cheek that Remus wiped away with his thumb.

"Bye." Remus said with a broken voice and then Sirius walked past him and left.

Remus shot a glance over his shoulder to watch just as the car door shut closed and the car pulled off the parking lot, heading away from Remus on its way to London.

Remus snapped his head back to stare at the ground he was standing on. He saw a small stone that he aimed a hard kick at just as he felt a powerful sob bubble up from his chest. He felt a stream of fresh tears run down his cheeks as his chest hurt from the absence of Sirius.

He furiously wiped away the tears with his sleeves but gave up when they got soaking wet after only two swipes. When he felt another sob escape him his knees gave out under him, making him fall down to the ground. There he pressed his hands to his face as he let the pain in his chest devour him.

As he cried into his hands he realized that Sirius' absence would kill him. That if the suffocating pain in his chest went on, became stronger, he would in fact die. Die out of sorrow as he mourned his loss of Sirius.

But then another thought popped up in his head. If he died, and if Sirius were to die from pain as well, and if they really were soulmates, wouldn't that mean they would just wake up in another world and find each other again?

Remus felt his steady flow of tears stop when he thought over the possibility of getting to spend time with Sirius again. To find him again. He wondered if it was worth dying to see Sirius again, but as he remembered the idea of soulmates was only that - ideas - and none of them knew if they were soulmates for sure, or if it would even work, he started crying again. He felt hopeless. He felt like his heart was being stabbed from the pain. He felt like he was dying without any reassurances he would see Sirius again.

"Hey lil fella, watcha doin there on the ground crying?"

Remus dropped his hands to lie in his lap when a loud voice reached his ears. Glancing up he found Hagrid standing next to him, looking concerned.

"Need help up?" Hagrid asked as he extended an arm to offer Remus help to stand. Remus took the hand and the felt himself being hauled up by Hagrid's force.

"Don't wanna return home?" Hagrid asked as he brushed away some dust from Remus' shoulders. Remus shrugged at him, feeling numb after his extensive crying fit. He really liked Hagrid but it was hard to have a conversation when his whole being screamed for him to run after Sirius.

"Wanna know something? A secret?" Hagrid whispered suddenly, probably trying to cheer Remus up.

"What?" Remus croaked with a small smile. It was really kind of Hagrid for even caring about him.

"Okay, but don't tell anyone else, alright?" Remus nodded. "The secret is that yer the best kid I've ever got the chance to know here at Sluggy's camp." Hagrid confessed with a kind smile. His small beetle eyes blinked at Remus from somewhere under the mass of hair and beard, making Remus' chest swell with warmth.

"Y-you sure?" Remus stuttered, not believing his ears. Hagrid must have watched hundreds of boys arriving and leaving the camp throughout the years. How could he think Remus was the best one?

"I'm as sure as I know my name's Hagrid." Hagrid said, nodding to himself. And then Remus suddenly remembered one of his first days at the camp, over four years ago. He remembered Hagrid being kind to him and sitting by his table, making him feel less alone. Being his first friend in years.

"Thank you for taking care of me, and, ehm, sitting with me when I was alone." Remus heard himself say right before he was wrapped in a bear hug from Hagrid.

"It was nothin'." Hagrid exclaimed as he nearly crushed all bones in Remus' body from the force of the hug.

When he let go Remus stumbled on the ground, struggling to regain his balance. But as Hagrid placed a steadying hand on his shoulder he regained his posture. He was just about to bid Hagrid farewell and start searching for his parent's car when he heard Hagrid clear his throat awkwardly.

"What it is?" Remus asked curiously. Was he about to give Remus another compliment?

"Just wanna let ya know that I, uh, _know_ about ya and Black. Sirius, I mean." Hagrid stuttered as his cheeks tinted pink. Remus tensed. Was Hagrid about to tell him something mean?

"And I wanted ya to know that I approve of ya to one hundred percent. I think yer a nice couple." Hagrid chuckled. For a second Remus felt thankful for Hagrid's blessing, but then his heart reminded him of how much he missed said Sirius, making him wince in pain.

"Thank you Hagrid, but I have to go now." He cried, staring at the ground. He felt Hagrid pat his shoulder before he coughed, bid him farewell and walked away.

Remus gripped his trunk and turned around to search for his car. He searched the parking lot but when he couldn't find it he started looking around him, staring at the many boys and families that came to pick them up after the summer. He saw the Prewett twins jump into a car, and Rosier into another.

Then Remus spotted someone walking towards him and he startled when he recognized it was Dumbledore with his long white beard and robes. Remus jerked when he saw Dumbledore wave at him to stop. So Remus stopped and waited for Dumbledore to walk up to him.

"Hello Mister Lupin, or dare I say Remus?" Dumbledore said as his blue eyes twinkled in the light of the sun.

"Hello Dumbledore. You may call me Remus sir." He said as he tried to wipe away the last traces of his tears on his sleeve. Though, if his eyes looked as swollen as they felt just wiping off the tears wouldn't be enough to cover up the evidence of his earlier extensive crying.

"Tell me Remus, did you have fun this summer?" Dumbledore asked as he blinked at Remus expectantly.

"Eh, yes sir. I had a lot of fun this summer." Remus nodded.

"Perhaps so much fun that you do not want it to... end?" Dumbledore said as he raised his eyebrows, making Remus frown at him. What did he mean by asking Remus something like that? Wasn't his cry-swollen face evidence enough?

"Exactly sir." Remus nodded again before he swept his gaze over the parking lot, hoping for his parents to pull up on it soon.

"But please tell me Remus. How can you be sure this is the end?" Dumbledore said, making Remus glance up at him again. Remus raised his eyebrows in surprise when he saw Dumbledore's mysterious smile.

"I don't understand sir. It's the 31st of July, everyone knows the camp ends by then." Remus shrugged as he felt his heart make another painful clench at the reminder.

"Yes, the camp ends on the 31st. Of course." Dumbledore trailed off dreamily as he let a hand come down on Remus' shoulder. "But love doesn't." Dumbledore stated, making Remus narrow his eyes at him. Was he implying something?

"Please tell me one last thing before you leave Remus." Dumbledore asked. Remus nodded at him, unsure of the point of the conversation when he heard Dumbledore clear his throat and take a step closer.

"Don't you believe in..." Dumbledore whispered mysteriously.

"Don't I believe in what sir?" Remus whispered back, torn between feeling curious and irritated.

"In _magic_?" Dumbledore whispered as his eyes twinkled excitedly.

Remus startled. What?

Unsure of what to do Remus stayed still on the spot. He watched as Dumbledore took a step back, aiming Remus a wink right before he turned around.

Frowning, Remus turned to stare at his hands that he'd formed into fists as they hung by his sides. Was Dumbledore going mental? Was he teasing him? Had he found out about his relationship with Sirius and found it fun that they were parting ways? Or was he trying to help?

But then Remus remembered his conversation about soulmates with Sirius from the night prior. Perhaps that was the kind of 'magic' Dumbledore was talking about? Did he think Remus and Sirius were soulmates? Did he mean it was worth for Remus to die of he could be with Sirius again?

He wondered about what 'magic' Dumbledore had meant, but then he remembered all the occasions mostly him, but also James had watched Dumbledore disappear from the spot in belief he was a wizard. And now, when Dumbledore asked Remus if he didn't believe in magic it all fell into place. Of course Dumbledore was a wizard!

Remus snapped his head up to search for Dumbledore again, hoping to finally get the question whether Dumbledore was a normal person or not answered. But when he turned his head from side to side he saw that Dumbledore was already gone. He'd disappeared like usual.

Grunting, Remus shook his head. He scolded himself for even thinking about such gibberish such as magic and wizards. He knew nothing could help his situation. Not even Dumbledore if he turned out to be one.

"Remus!"

Remus looked around when he heard someone call his name. His eyes fell on the small car that just parked on the parking lot. His mother waved to him through the waved down window and his father stepped out of the driver's seat.

Remus forced a stiff smile on his lips as he walked forward to greet his father that gave him a hard pat on the back.

"Hey Remus! Had a great summer?" His father chanted. Remus nodded to him and handed him his trunk. Then he opened the back door and climbed in to sit on his usual seat by the window.

He closed the door and made himself comfortable in is seat, but nothing could erase the painful ache in his chest that reminded him of Sirius. Everything reminded him of Sirius.

"Hi sweetheart." His mother greeted him from the front seat. "How was the last summer with your friends? Let me see, what were their names again... James, Peter and...?"

" _Sirius_." Remus cried as his voice broke out into a messy sob.

"Right. Sirius. Oh, wait why are you crying sweetie?" Mother asked sounding concerned.

"I miss _Sirius_." Remus wailed, unable to stop the heavy flow of tears that streamed down his cheeks. He missed Sirius terribly. And he knew he would until they met again. Which they wouldn't. So he would cry forever.

Remus' chest heaved from the extent of his sobs. He didn't want to leave. He wanted to be with Sirius.

He cried all the way home.


	26. Memory Lane

**_December 1975_ **

"Isn't it nice to have Christmas break now Remus?" His mother chirped from across the dining table.

"I guess." Remus shrugged as he took a sip from his tea.

"Are you planning on inviting any friends over for the holiday? Perhaps that wonderful friend of yours, Lily?" His mother tried.

"I don't think so." Remus shrugged again as he emptied his cup of tea and made to get up from his chair.

His mother got up from her chair as well, all the while eyeing Remus worryingly. "Maybe you could invite some of the friends you got from the summer camp? Perhaps James? Peter? ... Sirius?"

Remus felt the usual jab of pain to his chest he always got when someone mentioned Sirius' name. Sirius, who he hadn't heard a word from since the last day at the camp. Sirius, who he still loved.

"No mom. I think they're all busy, but I'll let you know if I invite Lily over." Remus said only to make his mother stop worrying over him. It seemed to work as she sighed and lost that concerned look on her face.

"Want to help me decorate the Christmas tree? You can shake the presents under it if you help." His mother asked with a playful smile.

"Perhaps later." Remus said, not even remotely interested in the contents under the Christmas tree. The only thing he wanted for Christmas was currently miles away, somewhere in London. And hopefully he wasn't getting himself into trouble. Remus couldn't stand the thought of Sirius in pain, but then he couldn't stand any thought about Sirius at all. It made him too depressed.

Remus passed his mother, who looked disappointed over him neglecting the Christmas chores, and headed up the stairs for his room. Well inside he locked the door behind him, pressed his back against it and slid down to sit on the cold floor.

He closed his eyes as he took a set of deep breaths. It didn't help. Nothing could ease the pain in his chest that only seemed to grow from every day he spent away from Sirius.

He hauled himself up to slump down on his bed instead. He rolled around on top of it but stopped when his back collided with something fluffy. Turning around he saw Teddy lay pressed against the wall. Remus picked him up and pressed him to his chest as he proceeded to give the bear a long hug.

He had started sleeping with Teddy again, and even though he knew it was silly and something for small kids it helped against the pain and nightmares at night. He thought Teddy's gray-silver fur reminded of Sirius' eyes and sometimes, or always, when he hugged Teddy he imagined it was Sirius he was hugging instead. It always calmed him down for a minute before the pain of sorrow and longing kicked in.

Remus stayed like that for a while; rolling around on the bed while hugging the air out of Teddy. As his grip around Teddy loosened and he made to get up from the bed his eyes locked on the pictures taped to his wall. As usual, he felt his heart jump when he saw the two Polaroid pictures of him and Sirius that he'd got from James back in '73.

Remus had taped them to the inner wall of his bed, in eye sight from his main pillow. Every night he looked at them, not wanting to forget how Sirius looked even though he was much younger in the pictures. Remus felt immensely lucky for the pictures now, and he had even sent a letter to James where he thanked him.

He let his index finger swipe over picture-Sirius' dark hair twice, imagining that the real Sirius was there with him. Then he thought back at the occasion when the picture was taken. He remembered they'd gone swimming in the lake, and that he'd for one of the first times thought Sirius looked hot.

Remus felt a shy smile tug at his lips when he let his finger swipe all over Sirius' body, stopping momentarily over his shorts but then quickly moving on to his bare feet when Remus' flush creeped back to his ears.

Remus lowered his hand to the side as he sat up on the bed. He reached for his nightstand and pulled out the drawer and fiddled around some until he found what he was looking for. When his fingers brushed against the folded paper he brought it out to lie in his lap.

With his heart in his throat he read:

_The Marauder's Map_

_Property of_

_Moony, Wormtail, Padfoot & Prongs_

_24.07.1971_

Briefly, Remus wondered how he had ended up with the map. But he was glad he did. He felt that he had most use of it.

He traced his finger over _'Padfoot'_ before he opened the folded paper. Inside he saw the descriptions, drawings and sketches of Slughorn's summer camp. Remus' eyes immediately searched for their cabin, and when he spotted cabin 7, drawn slightly bigger than the rest, he smiled.

He let his eyes swipe over the rest of the map, from the lake to the main building, not stopping until he saw the drawing of the secret passageway to the other side of the forest. Then Remus thought back of how many times him Sirius, James and Peter had climbed over it to the other side to play new exciting games or just relax on their secret glade.

Letting his eyes look some to the right he spotted the splotchy drawing of the small cupboard by the main building. He felt his heart jump and stomach do a little somersault when he remembered that to be the exact place where he'd got his first kiss. Where he'd got kissed by Sirius for the first time.

When Remus let his mind wander to the time him and Sirius had sneaked off to the cupboard during a game of hide and seek he felt the blush creep up his forehead. Now the idea of them making out in a crowded cupboard when people searched for them on the other side felt surreal. Had they really done that? Had Remus really snogged Sirius in that small cupboard?

Shaking his head, Remus let his eyes wander to the main building where they had marked out 'dining hall', 'reception desk', 'utility room', 'kitchens' and 'Slughorn's office'. Remus looked at the drawing of Slughorn's office and felt his heart constrict when he remembered his first _real_ kiss with Sirius having happened right there.

Then Remus remembered the first kiss they'd shared back in the summer of '75. He remembered being pulled into the small alley between cabin 6 and 7, totally surprised but overjoyed when Sirius kissed him again.

Remus smiled sadly at the map folded out in his lap. He'd shared many firsts with Sirius. First crush, first love, first kiss, first snog. When Remus remembered his other firsts that all involved a certain part of his body he felt his cheeks burn again.

Sirius had been his first everything, and he believed he would be his last as well. He didn't want anyone else. He only wanted Sirius. He only _loved_ Sirius.

Remus let his eyes wander back to the glade in the forest, thinking back at the moment when he'd first realized he loved Sirius. He remembered he'd laid next to Sirius on the grass and glanced at his profile as his heart urged him to just kiss him already.

Remus sighed. If only he'd known back then how serious his feelings were. That he'd known he would love Sirius for the rest of his life, making life suffocating when they had to part ways. If he'd known then he might had been able to plan something or just do anything to prevent the situation he was in now.

He folded the map on his lap before he placed it back in the drawer. Then he got up from his bed in favor of walking over to his desk where he sat down on his rickety chair. He reached for a paper and a pen but before he started writing his eyes locked on the high pile of letters laying to his right.

After a quick glance to the door to check no one was passing by Remus allowed the sob that he'd built up in his throat escape him as he reached for one of the letters in the pile. He gave it a look over before he felt the first set of tears run down his cheeks.

He had written letters to Sirius since the first day away from him. Though, he hadn't sent a single one of them, too afraid of them being confiscated or burned before they reached Sirius. So instead he was left to stock them up until he hoped to one day hand them over to Sirius personally. If he even wanted them that is.

Remus leaned back on the chair that creaked from his weight. He let his eyes send a swift look on the snow covered fields outside his window before he took a deep breath and opened the envelope with the name _Sirius Orion Black_ in fancy, cursive letters.

He read the letter from top to bottom and felt his heart clench from just reading it. It was one of the first ones he'd written during the first week away from Sirius, and it was filled with memories they'd shared together.

When another set of tears threatened to soak the letter Remus put it back in its envelope and placed it back in its original place in the pile. Then he leaned his elbows on the desk as he wondered what do to with this day away from the love of his life. When he remembered the paper and pen he'd brought he set for writing another letter to Sirius.

Even though he kind of knew it was a bad idea to write to the one person he knew he couldn't meet and ultimately make himself feel worse he couldn't help but to at least want to _imagine_ Sirius receiving his letters and were about to send him a reply any day now.

So he put the pen against the paper and started writing.

_Dear Sirius_

_I hope you are having a good time wherever you are. I know you are probably at home or still at the boarding school, though you never told me where it was._

_I know I should not but I miss you tremendously. Not a day goes by without me missing you._

_Want to know something?_

_I still wear the ring. The silver one that matches yours that we found during the treasure hunt back at the camp for over two years ago. Though, it became too small for my middle finger so I moved it to my ring finger instead._

_I know it probably sounds silly but I secretly hope you have moved yours to the ring finger as well. Makes it feel more special._

_On another note I recently went on Christmas break. It is nice to be out of that hell hole for a while, but then not really considering it is just another three weeks when I cannot see you._

_Life just seems dull without you. Meaningless. Yes, that is the word. Meaningless. Everything has lost its purpose, colors and meaning since you went away. Nothing is the same._

_I hope you are having a good time but at the same time I secretly hope you are in as much pain as I am. I know it is selfish of me to think that, but it seems unfair otherwise._

_You know I do not really wish you to be hurting. I love you and want you to be happy every day._

_I miss you._

_Hope we will meet soon._

_Love you._

_Remus_

Remus lowered the pen on the desk to lie next to the paper that he read through. He had deliberately tried to make it seem like he was hurting less than he was, not wanting Sirius to worry too much since he couldn't do anything about the situation. But still. He didn't feel like confessing that the mere mentioning of Sirius' name made his chest hurt and eyes water.

Remus leaned back on the chair as he took a deep breath to steady himself. He tried to swallow but the growing lump in his throat made it nearly impossible.

He looked down at the paper lying on his desk for a minute and then he shook his head. Writing letters to Sirius was just a waste of time considering Sirius probably would never get to read them, and the fact the procedure always ended up with Remus crying.

Though, somehow he always found himself writing a letter or two when it all felt too much too much to bear alone. When he wrote at least he could imagine that Sirius was with him.

He scribbled a 'Sirius plus Remus equals heart' in the top corner of the letter before he folded in into half and reached for an empty envelope he put it in. Then he addressed it to Sirius Orion Black and added todays date. He laid it on top of the pile and stared at it for a while, but then he got up from the chair, too restless to stare at the unsent letters anymore.

He walked over to his bed again where he lay down. He reached for Teddy who he pressed to his chest in a tight hug before he turned around to glance at the Polaroid pictures of him and Sirius.

He lifted his right hand to trace picture-Sirius' hair but lowered it when he felt a set of hot tears burn in his eyes.

"I miss him." He cried as he buried his face in Teddy's soft, gray fur that reminded him of Sirius.

"I miss him so much."


	27. The Final

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This has been an incredibly fun journey but now we're already at the end. Thank you so, so much for reading, commenting and leaving kudos!<3 
> 
> Wolfstar forever!

**_Summer of 1977_ **

"Remus, sweetie, there's someone at the door! Can you get it?"

Remus groaned but dropped the book he'd been reading and got up from the bed to get it. On his way downstairs he muttered, wondering who in their right mind came by for a visit at eight in the evening.

Still muttering Remus unlocked the door and opened it.

"Hi Remus!" Lily Evans said as she suddenly stood in front of him. Remus raised his eyebrows in surprise.

"Hello Lily. What're you doing here?" He frowned.

"Nice to see you too. Can I come in?" She said as she pressed herself past Remus into the small hallway.

"Sure. Why not?" Remus said sarcastically as he rolled his eyes at Lily's straightforwardness.

"Have you changed the carpet or something? It looks different than before. And how come you haven't invited me over for so long?" Lily asked as she turned around to face him, one eyebrow lifted, hands on her hips.

Remus felt himself start to sweat under her prying gaze. "I, ehm, well," He started as he flicked his eyes down to look at the floor.

"It's fine. Don't break a sweat over that. I'm just kidding." She exclaimed friendly as she lifted a hand to pat Remus' back reassuringly.

"Want to go upstairs?" Remus asked and when Lily nodded at him with a grin they started walking up the stairs, heading for Remus' room. On the way Remus' mother asked who it was and when he told her it was Lily Remus had to suppress the urge to roll his eyes when his mother exclaimed happily.

His mother was really fond of Lily. Almost so fond that Remus sometimes suspected she'd forgotten he was gay and tried to make him fall for her.

"So, what's up?" Lily asked when Remus had closed the door behind them and they'd sat down on the edge of his bed.

"Nothing much. You?" Remus asked, immediately wanting to dart the focus back to Lily.

"Oh, the usual." Lily said as she moved closer to Remus on the bed, her eyes narrowing as she looked into his.

"How are you?" Lily asked, making Remus' chest immediately flare with pain at the question.

"Brilliant." He lied as he forced a stiff smile on his lips. "Never been better actually."

Lily rolled her eyes at him and waved her hand in the air dramatically. "Oh don't give me that. You do know you're a terrible liar, right?"

"Don't know what you're talking about. I'm telling the truth." Remus mumbled as he started fiddling with the sleeves of his shirt. He stopped fiddling when he felt Lily press a hand over his.

"Come on. Tell me. Is it about you-know-who?" Lily asked gently, making Remus glance up at her insecurely. Was it safe to open up to her or was she going to scold him for his incapability to move on?

"He hasn't answered my letters. I sent him two last summer but he still hasn't answered them." Remus sighed helplessly. He'd actually known from the start that Sirius wouldn't answer them. That's why he hadn't sent him any letters for five years, but after one year apart he'd felt the need to at least try to contact him. But no. No response, no anything.

It was as if Sirius was dead. It was as if it had all just been a too good to be true dream after all.

"There must be a reason. I'm sure he wouldn't just ignore you on purpose...?" Lily tried as she pulled Remus in for a quick hug.

"It doesn't matter. I don't care anymore." Remus said as he struggled out of the embrace, leaving Lily looking offended.

"Don't give me that. It's obvious you do. In fact, I think you still care about him so much you can hardly _stand_ it." Lily declared as she crossed her arms over her chest.

Remus frowned at her. It was easy for her to just say that. It was another thing to be Remus and have to feel those things every waking moment. That led him into thinking that if he tried to talk himself into believing he didn't care about Sirius anymore it would work. That then he would finally be able to his live without the lingering ache in his chest and lump in his throat that threatened to break him.

"Hey, Remus. I'm sorry I didn't mean for it to come off so mean." Lily apologized.

"No, it's fine. It's the truth anyway. I don't know who I'm trying to fool. It's obvious that I'm still crazy about him." Remus' voice was shaking from the honesty of it all. He lifted a hand to rub his neck. "I'm still in love with him."

"Oh Remus." Lily looked at him with a concerned expression. Remus lowered his gaze to stare at his lap. He liked Lily a lot, and how she always wanted the best for him, but he didn't want her pity.

"Why don't you send a letter to James?" Lily suggested suddenly, making Remus look at her again.

"Why?" He frowned.

"Well, perhaps he has heard anything about you-know-who that you haven't?" Lily tried.

"Like what? And if it turned out he'd contacted James but not me when I've literally been on my toes, anxiously waiting for any signs he's even alive for the past two years, it would break me." Remus rubbed his forehead in hopes it would rid him from the pain his chest. It didn't.

"Okay, okay! Forget I ever said anything. Geez." Lily breathed. Remus tsked at her and then they sat in silence for a moment, the only signs coming from Remus' mother who'd started vacuum-clean the top floor.

"You think he has forgotten about me?" Remus heard himself ask, making his eyes widen in surprise over his own bluntness. He looked over at Lily who crossed her legs as she frowned in thought.

"No. I don't think so." She decided. "Not that I have spent enough time with him to really know more than the most important things about him, but if the way he looked at you is anything to go by I'm sure he hasn't forgotten about how. I mean; he literally looked at you like you were the most wonderful thing in the world." Lily said with a grin as she nudged Remus' shoulder, making him smile back at her.

"He did?" Remus asked, heart clenching from a mixture of longing and missing.

"He always did. And you looked the same back at him." Lily nodded, making Remus heart clench again. He looked over his shoulder to get a quick glance at picture-Sirius over at his bed. Sure, Sirius was about four years younger than today-Sirius in the picture, but still. He didn't ever want to forget how Sirius looked.

But then he shook his head over his own silliness. As if he could ever forget how Sirius looked. He was the love of his life for god's sake.

"Think you'll meet again?" Lily asked curiously, her green eyes glistening with interest.

"I don't know." Remus confessed as he bit down on his lip worriedly. "I hope so, but-"

"Nonsense. Of course you will!" Lily chirped before she patted Remus' back. "If you ask me I think it's only a matter of time."

"If you believe in miracles..." Remus muttered to the floor, but Lily heard him.

"If I believe in miracles? Of course I believe in miracles! Don't you?" Lily asked with a nudge to Remus' shoulder that made him threaten to fall to the floor.

"I don't know. Should I?"

"Of course you should! And you should believe in magic as well." Lily told him as a matter of fact. Remus shrugged, not really listening to her hopeful chanting, but when the words sunk in he found himself startle.

"Wait, Lily. What did you say?" Remus blinked.

"What do you mean? Miracles? Magic?" Lily asked as she raised her eyebrows at him. "You think I don't mean it?"

Remus shook his head. "No, Lily it's not that. It's just... I've heard it once before. It's weird to hear it again now." Remus sighed as he lifted his hand to rub his temples.

He remembered the last day at the camp when Dumbledore had approached him only to ask if he didn't believe in magic. That it wasn't the end or something else as confusing.

Remus frowned. Was it a coincident that Lily had told him the same now? Or was destiny really trying to tell him something?

"Someone else has told you to believe in magic? That doesn't sound like anything just anyone would say, but okay." Lily shrugged, green eyes searching Remus' amber ones for an answer.

"Remember that really old man back at Slughorn's camp? The one with the long, white beard, hair and half-moon glasses?" Remus asked as he decided to let her in on the full story.

"Yeah, the one with the funny long robes and stuff?" Lily asked as she shifted on the bed, leaning her back against Remus' main pillow.

"Exactly. Albus Dumbledore was his name. Anyway, right before I was going home for the last time he approached me only tell me it 'wasn't the end' and asked me if I 'believed in magic'." Remus shrugged. "I know it's weird, and I haven't really thought about it since then but I did now that you asked me the same thing."

Lily rubbed her chin in thought. "Perhaps he just meant you shouldn't give up on Sirius so easily?" Lily tried. When Remus looked confused she went on. "Perhaps he knew it would eventually work out in the end already or something? Hey, I know! What if he's psychic?" Lily exclaimed as she clapped her hands together.

"Sure, Lily. _Sure_." Remus said as he rolled his eyes.

"Oh, come on. Don't give me that 'you're mental' look now. How would you explain him being so mysterious? Didn't you think he was a wizard or something before anyway?" Lily said as her scrutinizing eyes bore into Remus'.

"Yeah, you're right. But still, I think it's weird how mysterious he was, and still doesn't get what he meant. But yeah, perhaps he was psychic or something. Who knows?" Remus shrugged.

They sat in silence for a while as Remus mind wandered to different memories from the camp. He remembered how he'd wished upon a shooting star, where he'd wished for a friend and then got three. He remembered how Lily had moved to his small town only to become friends with him and ultimately protect him from bullies. He remembered how he'd felt that him and Sirius fit together on a deeper level, like two pieces of the same thing.

Suddenly those things didn't feel like coincidences anymore. It felt too surreal to be. Perhaps there was some sort of magic in the picture after all?

"Want to know something?" Lily said after a beat of silence. Remus guessed she wanted to change the topic from the camp since she saw how sad it made him.

"What?" Remus asked as he shifted of the bed, sitting cross legged.

"I'm exchanging letter with James." Lily said as a light blush covered her cheeks.

Remus blinked, too shocked to understand. "What?" He decided on after he'd stared at her, baffled, for a minute.

"Surprised? Well, I was too when I realized I didn't despise him anymore. I don't know, think I kind of like him." Lily confessed. Remus' jaw hit the floor in surprise. Was he hearing things?

"What-, when?" Remus babbled.

"I don't know how he found out about my address but he sent me the first letter about six months ago, and since I sent one back it went on from there. I might even invite him over to come visit me later this summer. Well, if he behaves. I haven't told him yet and I can still change my mind." Lily smiled at him. Remus was happy that she seemed lucky, but he was still a bit too surprised to congratulate her yet.

"Wait. Are you seri, ehm, I mean; are you two a thing now or...?" Remus said as he felt his face heat up in embarrassment over the fact he'd deliberately stopped himself from voicing Sirius' name. Lily gave him that are-you-serious-right-now look but after a second she answered him.

"Yeah, or I mean, I think so. I hope so." Lily said as she flung her red hair from her shoulder. "Weird right? How time can change people?" Lily said with a dreamy sigh. Remus agreed. He thought James must have changed into a totally different person for Lily to sigh dreamily about him.

"It's _our_ James you mean right? James Potter?" Remus asked just to be sure. Lily laughed at him before she leaned forward to shove his shoulder playfully.

"Yes you mutt. Who else?" Lily asked him with a funny look.

"Yeah, I don't know. But why haven't you told me until now?" Remus pryed, suddenly feeling left out in the dark. Lily was his best friend after all.

"Sorry I didn't tell you sooner but after having watched you sulk for over a year I didn't feel like waving my own happiness in your face. Figured it would only make you sadder or even jealous. Lily said as she looked into Remus' eyes apologizing.

Remus shrugged. "You're probably right." He breathed. "I'm pathetic, aren't I?" He mumbled. He should just pull himself together already. Get over Sirius. But the aching and longing in his chest told him otherwise. His heart and soul still wanted Sirius.

"Remus, it's alright. You'll be happy again in no time. I know you will." Lily said as she patted Remus' shoulder reassuringly. However, Remus didn't believe her. And he didn't think she sounded as reassuring as she probably thought she did.

Lily lay back down on his main pillow and Remus climbed on the bed until he flung himself next to her. There they stared up at the ceiling in silence, listening on the sounds coming from the other side of the door where Remus' mother still cleaned the house.

Lily shifted next to him until she lay on her side and then she lifted a hand to point at the wall behind Remus.

"Nice picture. From James?" Lily asked with a light laugh. Remus felt his heart clench when he realized she must be pointing at his two pictures of Sirius and him.

"Yeah..." Remus trailed off as he turned around to look at the pictures.

"From his Polaroid camera? Thought I should know. He used to chase me around with that camera back in the day, trying to sneak pictures of me." Lily tsked like that James one from the past. Remus frowned at her. He still thought James acted like that, but perhaps he managed to behave himself in Lily's proximity nowadays. Or he just made himself seem more mature in the letters he sent her.

Remus and Lily talked on the bed about everything and nothing until it got dark outside. Then Remus followed her home where he had to force a smile as Petunia greeted them in the door. He thought she looked more like a horse than ever and it was with a fierce determination he managed to suppress the snicker until she'd closed the door after Lily had hugged Remus goodbye.

Remus made his way home in the darkness, the only light coming from the moon and stars above as he lived in a small village with few lamp posts to spare. Though, the darkness didn't scare him anymore. Not when the pain in his chest was far more horrifying.

When he got home he went through his night routine early and then locked himself in his room again. He turned off the lights and lay down on his bed, stared up at his ceiling.

He went through the evening with Lily in his head. He was thankful to have her as a friend and that she always was the one to initiate a meeting. He felt grateful she didn't just give up on him, because really; he never made any effort to do anything besides sulking over Sirius.

Sirius...

Remus didn't know whether to feel thankful or bad over the fact him and Lily hadn't mentioned Sirius' name even once. Instead they had referred to him as 'he' or 'you-know-who', which eased Remus pain momentarily but still didn't really do anything to soothe the aching in his heart in the long run. He knew it was silly but somewhere along the way he'd talked his heart into believing that if he never heard Sirius' name again it would be able to heal faster.

Because then it would be as if he had never existed.

Remus grunted as he rolled around on the bed. He didn't know who he thought he was fooling. All his efforts to forget about Sirius were halfhearted. One minute he refused to hear or speak Sirius' name, but the other he caressed picture-Sirius' hair like his life depended on it.

He was really pathetic.

Sighing, he turned around on his bed until his head laid on the foot of the bed, allowing him to look out his window at the moon outside. He watched it as it wandered higher up the sky, distracting him from his thoughts about Sirius even if it was just for a moment.

'''''''''

"Remus sweetheart, your father will come home in less than three days and you still haven't helped me clean once. Could you at least help me clean _your_ room?" His mother sighed, sounding irritated, but then she smiled and dropped the towel from her hand to pat Remus' cheek.

"Okay." Remus shrugged. He hadn't really planned to do anything that day anyway, well except for reading or mourning his loss of Sirius.

"Really? All these days I thought you would refuse but all it took was to ask." His mother mumbled under her breath as she handed Remus a bucket with warm water and soap along with a new towel. "Here you go. Don't forget the windowsill." She nodded at him and then he was off, heading upstairs for his room.

He walked inside his room and closed the door behind him with his free hand. Then he placed the bucket on the floor before he got to work. He swabbed his shelves, nightstand and windowsill. And when he got to his desk he carefully emptied it of the extensive pile of unsent letters to Sirius that he placed on his bed before he started swabbing that area as well.

When he was done and had checked that the surface was dry three times he carefully placed the pile of letters back with a relieved sigh. He knew it was silly, but somehow those letters felt like a part of Sirius and he did everything he could to protect them.

As Remus walked out of his room to fetch the vacuum cleaner his mind unintentionally drifted to thoughts of Sirius. He thought about how today it was exactly two years since they'd met for the last time. And no matter how many days passed the mere thought sent a painful jab to Remus' chest.

He was still heart broken. He missed Sirius horribly.

He started the vacuum cleaner and started cleaning his floor when he thought back of one of the last things Sirius had told him. If he remembered right Sirius had said something along the lines of 'I'll think of something'.

Remus pouted, eyes sadly looking around his sparsely furnished room. Had those only been words from Sirius? Remus had waited for two years already but hadn't even seen a trace of Sirius. Had Sirius forgotten about him after all? Perhaps he'd thought of Remus as just a summer flirt only to move on to the next boy or girl as soon as he got home.

But then Remus scolded himself. He knew better than to accuse Sirius of such things. Sure, it had been two years since they'd last seen each other but it didn't give Remus any rights to distrust him. Sirius might just as well be the same person he was on the last day on the camp as he might be a totally different person. Though, Remus hoped Sirius was the same. And he hoped he still loved him as much as Remus still loved him.

He hoped Sirius spent every day in sorrow, his heart longing for Remus just like Remus did for Sirius.

When Remus finished cleaning his room he put back the vacuum cleaner and walked downstairs to empty the dirty water and clean the towel and his bucket. Then he walked outside to doze off against one of the trees in their garden, and perhaps daydream some about Sirius, perhaps cry a little.

He closed his eyes and waited for sleep to take him, but no matter how long he sat leaned against the tree it just wouldn't come. So instead he let his eyes wander around their garden, flicking to the many flowers his mother had planted during the years.

He looked up at the blue sky and felt his chest hurt when he thought about how the blue color reminded him of one of Sirius' pajamas back in the day. He looked down at his hands only to feel his heart jump when he saw the silver ring on his ring finger glisten in the light form the sun. He looked past the edge of their house at the vast fields stretching behind it and felt his chest constrict when he remembered how Sirius had said he would probably love it in Wales.

Remus sighed as he closed his eyes. He would have to sit with his eyes closed from now on. Everything he looked at reminded him of Sirius.

"Remus, come inside! You've got mail!"

Remus snapped his eyes open.

"What?" He shouted back as he got up from his spot by the tree. Who would send him mail? Lily? No, she lived almost next door. James? No, the last time he'd gotten a letter from him was three months ago. Peter then? Remus tsked as he shook his head. Peter had only sent him two very short letters and that was over a year ago.

"I don't want to shout, come inside instead!" His mother shouted, making Remus roll his eyes before he got up from the ground and started walking towards the door.

He walked in through the open door and felt his stomach clench nervously. Who would send him a letter? He hoped it wasn't one of his old bullies at school who wanted to torment him again. They had sent him a couple of evil letters back in the day.

"Here you go sweetie. I don't recognize the address it's from, but I guess it's from somewhere in London by the letter mark. Oh, and do you know this person? The envelope is very, eh, decorated." His mother said as she handed him the envelope.

Remus didn't answer her. He was too busy staring at the envelope in his hands.

 _To: Remus John Lupin_ it read it big, rainbow colored colors. Under the text someone had drawn a mess of stars, moons and kissing lips. In the top left corner was a set of letter marks, but in the bottom right corner was something scribbled in red letters. Bringing the letter closer to his face Remus felt himself gasp.

The words read ' _I love you'_.

Remus heart started beating faster. His stomach churned with anticipation and the lump in his throat returned. He blinked away a set of tears that pooled down on his cheeks as he slowly, tentatively turned the letter over in his hands.

When his eyes found the backside he involuntarily cried out. His knees gave up under him and he fell to the floor, hugging the letter to his chest.

"Remus? Remus what is it? Who is it from?" His mother asked, looking confused as she wondered if Remus needed help up or not.

Remus shook his head as tears streamed down his cheeks.

"Sirius!"

His mother gasped and dropped the sandwich she'd held in her hand in surprise. "What!?" She shouted in a mixture of joy and surprise.

"Sirius Black!" Remus cried, his chest exploding with happiness, nervousness and sorrow all at once. He couldn't believe it. Had Sirius finally sent him a letter?

"Well, what are you waiting for? Open it!" His mother urged him on as she extended a hand to haul him up from the floor. She pulled out a chair and helped him sit down on it before she told him she would be in the living room in case he needed her. Absentmindedly Remus felt happy for her giving him privacy, but at the moment he was far too occupied by the letter in his hands to thank her properly.

With trembling hands and shaking lower lip Remus wiped his tears on his sleeve and then opened the envelope. He felt his heart stop when he recognized the handwriting on the letter. It was Sirius'. It was really him. He had finally sent him a letter.

After taking a deep breath to try and steady his racing heart he read the text.

_Dear Remus_

_First of all, I love you._

_I love you and miss you every day. I have tried to find a way for us to meet since I left you there at the parking lot for nearly two years ago now._

_But now one thing has led to another and I think, if I dare hope, that we can finally meet again._

_Two days ago I ran away from home, but don't get all worried because of me now. As I told you before I had planned on doing it for years, and it went kind of according to plan as well._

_I live with the Potter's now and they're really kind and understanding._

_In fact so understanding that they've bought a train ticket for me to go to Wales train station tomorrow afternoon, which will be today if the letter arrives in time._

_Hope you still want to see me because I'll be at the train station by eight PM tomorrow/today._

_Please come and get me._

_If you still want to see me I could remind you of how wonderful, perfect and unique you are. And about the fact I'm going crazy from longing for you._

_Please forgive me that it took so long. Please, please come and see me._

_Remus, I love you._

_Please?_

_I love you._

_Sincerely,_

_Sirius Black_

_(PS. I hope you still want to see me. I'm nervous as hell. And I could have written twice as long but James is telling me to go downstairs now. Please come meet me!)_

Remus gaped at the letter in front of him. He stared at it and then red it again. He felt his heart stop, skip a beat and jump at the same time his stomach did somersaults.

Sirius had run away from home. Sirius lived with the Potter's. Sirius came to Wales tomorrow - today. God! Sirius was going to Wales in less than six hours!

"Mom!" Remus shouted happily.

He furiously wiped the steady stream of tears from his eyes as he told the news to his mother. Though, he only told her he was going to the train station later to meet Sirius. He wasn't even sure of his mother really knew all the details of their relationship. But it didn't matter. She understood that Remus cared about Sirius more than the world, so she smiled and hugged him and then patted his cheeks affectionately.

Remus rushed upstairs to threw himself on his bed where he hugged the letter to his chest. He cried and laughed, happy about the fact he would get to see Sirius, but mourning the long years he'd spent without him all alone.

He read the letter five more times before he carefully tucked it in his nightstand drawer, on top of the Marauder's Map. Then he walked over to his wardrobe to pick out an outfit for Sirius. As he brought out his finest pair of trousers and a tight shirt for him to wear Remus wondered if Sirius still looked the same. He wondered if Sirius' hair would be longer, if he would be taller and if anything else might have changed.

Remus felt his smile grow nervous when he thought back on his memory of Sirius' brilliant gray eyes that shimmered in silver from time to time. He hoped Sirius' eyes would be the same. Hoped they hadn't transformed into those sad, haunted ones he always got when mentioning someone from his family.

Remus shook his head. The Black's weren't Sirius' family. The Potter's were now. And perhaps, just perhaps, even Remus.

Remus rushed out of his room to jump in the shower where he scrubbed himself clean from top to bottom. He washed his hair three times and even shaved the faint stubble he'd managed to grow overnight.

He blinked at his reflection in the mirror. He hoped Sirius would still think he looked good.

He grimaced at himself. He knew he was seventeen now but wondered if he really looked like it. Sirius was turning eighteen in just about three months, what if he thought Remus was too young for him now? But then he shook his head. He was being silly. If Sirius had gone through the trouble of running away from home only to immediately jump on the next train for Wales Remus didn't think he was going to turn around in the door from just one look at him. No, Remus had to trust that Sirius still liked him. In the letter he had said he still loved him after all.

Remus got himself dressed and then walked back to his room where he rummaged through his pile of letters to Sirius until he found the one he was looking for. It was one he'd written around Christmas '75, and he found it particularly cheesy.

He tucked the letter into his back pocket as a backup plan. In case he would be too shocked, sad, or happy to speak he would be able to give Sirius the letter where he could read that Remus still loved him. And well, he planned on handing all letters to Sirius one day after all so it might not hurt to start delivering them now.

When Remus had tucked the letter in his pocket he sat down on his bed, folded his hands in his lap and waited. He glanced at his nightstand clock.

Five hours left.

''''''''''

Remus fiddled with his sleeves as he shifted from foot to foot on the empty train station. There were only two people there save from him, and the both of them were old men who glanced at him disapprovingly. Remus tried not so seem too nervous from where he sweated in his tight shirt and trousers.

Anxiously, he heard the 'ding' that declared a train was approaching. Remus bit his lip nervously. Was Sirius on the train?

When Remus could make out the faint sight on top of the train he felt his heart jump. 'London - Wales' it said.

With his heart stuck in his throat Remus walked out on the platform so that he stood in the middle of it. Since he was unsure which wagon contained Sirius he felt it was safest.

As the train slowly came to a stop Remus felt his heart beat out of his chest. He could hear it echo in his ears and he wondered what to do with his hands. He clenched and unclenched them nervously as he bit his lip and let his eyes wander from door to door on the train that came to a stop in front of him.

He stilled when he saw all the doors open at once. He waited. He let his eyes swipe over the many entrances where fancy looking Londoners walked out into the empty platform. Remus frowned. He couldn't find Sirius anywhere. What if his letter had gotten delayed and he actually arrived yesterday? Or what if Sirius changed his mind?

Then he saw him.

Remus' heart stopped.

His jaw his the ground and eyes stared wide as he saw a tall, handsome boy walk out of the train from the wagon to Remus' left. Remus stared and literally felt the world seize down to only him as he recognized him as Sirius.

Sirius was here. Sirius was in Wales. Sirius was walking out of the train right in front of him.

Remus tried to shout for him but found that his voice got stuck in his throat as he only managed a croaked squeak. But it didn't matter. In that exact moment Remus saw Sirius' eyes lock on him. Sirius gaped at him, his eyes as wide as saucepans as he dropped his bag on the ground next to him in shock.

Before they had any time to register what happened the both of them started running, eager to see each other again. Remus felt a sob escape him as he saw Sirius rush towards him, his face looking overjoyed and sad at the same time.

"Sirius!" Remus cried when they finally met halfway and he wrapped his arms around him.

"Remus!" Sirius cried back before he lifted Remus from the ground to spin him around in a circle. Remus meant to shout out happily from the embrace but ended up voicing a broken sob instead. He felt Sirius put him down on the ground and buried his face in his neck.

He couldn't stop the tears that soaked Sirius' shirt in a second, but he didn't care as he thought he felt a set of hot tears land on his own shoulder. He sniffled into Sirius a second longer before Sirius leaned back to look him in the eyes.

Remus felt himself gasp as he looked into Sirius' emotional gray eyes for the first time in years. They were slightly red, and wet from his crying, but other than that they were the same. Sirius' eyes were the same. They were gray, shimmered in silver from the sun and so warm they melted Remus' soul to a wonderful mess. They hadn't got destroyed by his family.

"Remus?" Sirius whispered, voice broken as he lifted a hand to trace over Remus' forehead, eyes and nose. When his fingers reached Remus' lips they lingered for a second longer and Remus ceased the opportunity to press a light kiss to them. He saw Sirius' lips quirk in a smile before he lowered his fingers to trace down Remus' chest.

"You're even more beautiful than I remembered." Sirius whispered, successfully making Remus' chest dance with affection and excitement.

"You too. You're the most handsome thing I've ever seen." Remus croaked before he mentally slapped himself for being unable to voice his opinion better. He finally reunited with Sirius and he told him he was a 'thing'? Though, Sirius didn't seem to mind considering his smile grew into a shy grin.

"Thanks." Sirius said, and then he leaned forward to press a soft kiss to Remus' cheek that made his cheeks burn. He felt the butterflies in his stomach churn to life as he gazed into Sirius' wonderful eyes.

Sirius looked very much the same as he remembered, save from the fact he'd grown and matured visibly. His jaw line, cheek bones and nose was more defined and he was taller. Remus thought he looked incredibly beautiful as his skin glistened in the light from the sun, but then he remembered he'd always thought Sirius looked beautiful so he didn't know if he'd changed that much after all.

He felt Sirius take step back to create some distance between them and was just about to ask why when Sirius extended his right hand. Remus felt his heart constrict when he got what he meant.

The handshake.

After Sirius wiped away Remus' new set of tears with his thumb Remus extended his right hand and they went on with their secret handshake. Remus deliberately let his hand linger after the handshake and rejoiced in the pleasant shiver that ran down his spine from the contact. He smiled shyly at Sirius when he saw him smile shyly back at him, and then he felt Sirius take his hand in his.

"I love you." Sirius whispered suddenly, voice desperate as he tightened his grip around Remus' hand. "I love you and it hasn't gone a day where I didn't miss you."

Remus felt his heart swell with affection. "I love you to." He whispered as he felt a new set of tears burn in his eyes, these were from happiness.

Sirius smiled at him as he gazed into Remus' eyes dreamily, and that's when Remus got an idea.

"Sirius, I want to give you something. Why don't you close your eyes for me?" He said as he felt an excited smile tug at his lips and happiness bubble in his chest.

He saw realization dawn on Sirius as he grinning shot Remus a watery wink before closed his eyes. Remus rejoiced when he saw that Sirius' cheeks were tinted pink.

After counting to three, all the while trying to calm his racing heart, Remus slowly leaned forward, closed his eyes and pressed a kiss to Sirius' perfect lips.

Remus felt the butterflies in his stomach flutter like they wanted to escape him, his chest explode with wonderful fireworks, and a wonderful tingling feeling spread though his entire body. His mind, body and soul sang in harmony as he finally got to kiss Sirius again, and it only got better as Sirius wrapped an arm around Remus' neck to press them tighter together, deepening the kiss.

They kissed until Remus had to break for air, the both of them panting slightly as they stood nose to nose on the train station. Remus lifted his free hand to swipe over Sirius' chest and smiled when he realized Sirius had put on tight clothes as well. They were so silly the both of them, putting on tight clothes to satisfy the other.

"I'm still in love with you." Sirius said, voice honest, as he tried to persuade Remus that the past two years didn't have to mean anything. That they could catch up on lost time in a matter of time.

"And I'm still in love with _you_. But it hurt so much. To be away from you for so long." Remus whispered as he shook his head. "Why did you run away now?" He asked.

He knew he should pity Sirius for even having to run away from home, but at the same time he found himself selfishly wishing he'd have done it sooner so Remus wouldn't had been alone for so long.

"Remus trust me when I say I tried to find a way to get to you. I _never_ wanted it to take this long. But I had no choice." Sirius pleaded. Remus felt his heart break when Sirius' eyes filled with tears again.

"No, I'm sorry. I'm sorry I'm asking so much of you when you're only doing your best." Remus said honestly as he let his hand wipe away the tears on Sirius' cheek. "I'm so happy we're together again. I almost can't believe it."

Sirius smiled a watery smile at him as he gave Remus' hand a reassuring squeeze. "Same. Actually, do you think you could pinch me? I think I might be dreaming." Sirius laughed. Remus tsked, but grinned in response as he nudged Sirius' shoulder playfully.

"Okay, but do you want to hear what made me finally run away after all those years?" Sirius said after he cleared his throat. Remus lifted his free hand to scrape Sirius' scalp as he nodded. He wanted to know everything about Sirius.

"Well, ehm," Sirius started before he closed his eyes and took a deep breath.

"It's alright." Remus soothed him as he let his hand tighten around a fistful of Sirius' hair, making a content smile splay on his lips.

Suddenly Remus wondered what could have happened to make Sirius take such drastic matters. After all he'd stayed at home even when Walburga or Kreacher had hurt him, or confiscated and burned his letters.

"They wanted to marry me off against my will." Sirius confessed, making Remus gasp.

"What?" Remus demanded as he felt his chest constrict with pain. Had Sirius' parents planned on marrying him off?

Sirius nodded at him, eyes pained from the memory. "I thought I had managed to sneak around it with different excuses but three nights ago the girl stood at our porch with her parents. Walburga and Orion welcomed them inside and before I had time to escape upstairs they ordered me to sit down at the table with them." Sirius frowned. Remus lowered his hand to caress his neck as he looked at him worriedly.

"When they brought out the papers of the contract I knew I either had to succumb or run away. So I ran upstairs, fetched the trunk I had prepared and rushed out through the back door. I was gone before they had time to get up from the table, but as I ran outside I heard Walburga scream after me." Sirius shuddered at the memory.

Remus stared at him, baffled. "W-why, I mean," Remus stuttered, not sure what to say. Sirius aimed a small smile at him.

"As I said, I had only waited for the moment to finally escape. I had already packed my trunk and knew Prongs' address since long. But it was in that moment by the table I knew I had to choose. Choose between living my life according to the Black's or live life my own way. Live it with _you_." Sirius smiled at him, eyes glistening with tears, making Remus' heart skip a beat.

"M-me?" Remus stuttered, too baffled to feel embarrassed over his incapability to speak like a normal person.

"It's always been you. My whole life encircles around you. It was only a matter of time before I got enough and finally ran away." Sirius said as he let a hand fiddle with Remus' hair.

"But now I'm free from them. I'm free to do what I want now. Free to be with you." Sirius said as he glanced deeply into Remus' eyes. Remus felt his lower lip shake as his heart screamed for Sirius. He loved him so much.

"I missed you so much. It literally _killed_ me inside." Sirius whispered. Remus felt himself nod vigorously. "Me too." He piped, the emotional lump in his throat making it difficult to speak.

"I love you." Sirius whispered as he leaned forward to plant a kiss on Remus' ear, making him smile.

"I love you too." Remus said and then he remembered about the letter. "And I loved the letter you sent me." He said just as he remembered about his own letter he'd tucked in his pocket.

Not letting go of their clasped hands, Remus reached out his free hand to his back pocket where he brought out the folded letter he'd put there earlier that morning.

"Here. I want you to take this." Remus smiled shyly at him.

"What is it? A letter?" Sirius' face lit up and he immediately tried to open it with his free hand, but Remus stopped him.

"No, don't open it here. Not yet. But yeah, it's a letter. I wrote it some time ago." Remus confessed as he felt his cheeks heat up. Sirius grinned at him before he tucked the letter in his back pocket.

"You wrote me a letter, huh? Can't wait to read it." Sirius said as his eyes sparkled in the most beautiful of silver.

Remus wondered what Sirius' expression would look like if he saw the generous pile of letters dedicated to him back home on Remus' desk considering he got so happy from just receiving one letter. Then Remus figured he'd find out soon enough since they were probably heading there after this.

Smiling, Remus glanced down at his left hand. He looked at the silver ring for a moment before he felt his curiosity peak. Did Sirius still wear the ring?

Remus glanced to his right, searching for Sirius' left hand when he saw it hang by his side. He stretched his neck some to get a better look. And then he saw it. Something silvery reflected in the light from the sun, and squinting Remus found the ring. He felt his chest flutter when he noticed it was positioned on the ring finger. Just like Remus'. Just like a married couple.

"You still wear it." Remus heard himself whisper with a giddy smile on his lips.

"Hm?" Sirius asked, but then he saw that Remus was staring at his hand so he lifted it. "The ring? Of course I do. I wear it every day. It reminds me of you."

Remus felt his chest swell with that comfortable warm feeling as he lifted his left hand to lie next to Sirius' in the air.

"On the ring finger." Remus said, making Sirius voice a small gasp. Glancing up, Remus found Sirius looking at him with fond eyes and a watery smile, looking both happy and overwhelmed at the same time. Remus felt the same.

Then Remus felt Sirius lift his free hand to pull him in for a tight hug that he answered. Remus hugged Sirius like his life depended on it, and loved the way his whole body heated up from just being this close to him.

He felt Sirius lean back briefly only to lean forward again, pressing a kiss to Remus' lips that he answered eagerly. Remus brought his soul into the kiss as he pushed, pressed and swiped his lips over Sirius' soft ones. He let his hand swipe over Sirius' back, urging him on as Sirius' hand found his hair where it scraped his scalp, sending shivers down Remus' spine.

When Remus felt Sirius suck on his lower lip his chest threatened to explode from excitement. Eagerly, Remus parted his lips, allowing Sirius' entrance and then felt his stomach flutter as the tip of Sirius' tongue met his. Remus suppressed a moan when he slid his tongue along Sirius', and felt his insides melt away from the kiss. It had been years since last time but his body remembered and perked from the feel and taste of Sirius.

Remus answered Sirius' tongue vigorously, and as they kissed there on the train station Remus finally felt the last bits of the aching pain in his chest fade away. Instead it was replaced by a warm, content happiness that bubbled inside him. All of a sudden he felt drunk on happiness and it was all thanks to Sirius.

When Remus' attentions started heading from the fireworks in his chest to the building pleasure somewhere more south he broke the kiss. He smiled happily at Sirius who grinned at him, lips swollen and eyes glistening with happiness.

Remus felt a giggle escape him when Sirius ruffled his hair, then giggled again when Sirius pressed a soft kiss to his cheek. And suddenly Remus felt as if no time at all had passed since they last met. Sirius was the same, and Remus was just as in love as before. If not even more now.

Hell, he felt ready to explode from the love he felt for Sirius right there.

Remus felt an euphoric grin spread on his lips as he realized that Sirius was there. Sirius was holding his hand. Sirius was kissing his cheeks. Sirius was back and Sirius was his.

After one more snog they walked to the train where Sirius retrieved his bag that he'd dropped in his rush to get to Remus. Then Remus suggested they started heading home since the train station was closing for the night soon.

Hand in hand and with happy grins on their faces they slowly started their back on the platform of the train station.

Though, as they walked out of the gate and stepped onto the pavement on the road leading back to the Lupin house Remus thought he didn't need to go home. He had found home right there when Sirius stepped out of the train. With Sirius back he would never have to feel insecure or unprotected ever again.

Sirius made him feel safe. Sirius was his hero. Sirius was his home.

Remus tightened his grip on Sirius' hand. He struggled to believe it all wasn't just a dream. It felt surreal to have Sirius back. To hold his hand after all this time they'd spent apart.

He felt Sirius tighten his grip as well, and then he skidded them down to a stop. Remus glanced up as Sirius positioned them face to face, Sirius' expression turning serious.

"We'll work this out." He said honestly. Remus blinked at him and swallowed as his heart tried to beat out of his chest.

"As long as we're together it'll be fine." Sirius said, but Remus didn't need convincing. He already knew what he wanted and that everything had been fine since he first saw Sirius again. So Remus smiled at him and nodded, his chest swelling with affection for the beautiful boy in front of him.

"I love you." Sirius whispered with big eyes that made Remus' heart skip a beat. He never got tired of hearing that.

"I love you too." Remus told him with a watery smile.

He felt Sirius pull him into a tight hug, and Remus answered it with all his might. When he felt Sirius squeeze his hand he squeezed back. He even planted a kiss to Sirius' neck, eager to relay his love.

"I'm never letting go again." He heard Sirius whisper close to his ear as they tightened the hug. "I'm never letting go again..."

Remus nodded as he leaned back to plant a passionate kiss on Sirius' lips.

He felt the same.


	28. Epilogue - 19 Years Later

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Random information: I got the inspiration to write this fic after reading the incredible and amazing fic called 'The Door Through the World'. But I also got some inspiration from 'Pray the gay away' and 'Slughorn's sanitarium for troubled boys'. If you liked this fic you should really read them as well! :D
> 
> On another note I'm posting the last two chapters now. Both of them are epilogues, though, you can stop reading after the first one if you like. That's the main ending and also the _happy_ ending. It serves as a stop to the story and is; happy.
> 
> However, the second epilogue includes the main plot twist and might answer some questions, or it might not. But please note that this, the first epilogue, is the happy ending. The second one is not as happy.  
> (I don't want to fool anyone into reading it with the belief it's fluffy or anything, hehe.)
> 
> With that said; Hope you like this chapter! And thank you for reading this story! I had a wonderful time writing it!<3

**_Summer of 1996_ **

"Behave!"

"Take care!"

"See you on the 31st!"

Remus waved his hand at the small group of boys in front of him.

"Daddy will miss you, so, so much! Bye!"

Remus jabbed an elbow in Sirius' ribs, but it didn't shut him up.

"Daddy loves you!" Sirius shouted, making Remus grimace. Sirius was probably going to be known as the embarrassing dad from now on. Remus just hoped he wasn't as badly off.

"Oh, come on Remus. Don't tell me you're not going to miss him as well." Sirius sniffled as he wiped a tear on his sleeve. Remus smiled fondly at him. He realized it didn't matter if Sirius was embarrassing or not. Sirius cared, was loving and so sweet Remus just had to lean forward and steal a kiss from him.

"Augh, _please_! Not in front of the kids!"

Remus snapped his head to the side and saw James and Lily stand next to them, James covering the eyes of his second son, Lily covering the eyes of their daughter. Remus rolled his eyes.

"Sod off, grass eater, you're just jealous." Sirius huffed before he purposely slapped a hand on Remus' ass, making him jump at the spot.

" _Sirius_!" Him, James and Lily all hissed at the same time. But Sirius only laughed at them.

"Dad! Look! They're leaving now!" A small, excited voice exclaimed. Glancing around Remus felt his heart swell when he saw little Romulus Remus run towards him. He kneed on the ground and caught him in a hug as they collided.

"Where's your sister?" Remus asked him as Romulus pointed to their right. Looking in that direction Remus saw Cassiopeia Auriga hug Sirius' leg, making him laugh as he leaned down to tickle her. Remus felt his heart melt from the sweet scene, but looked forward at the main building again when he heard loud chants of 'Goodbyes'.

Smiling, and with his eyes watering, Remus lifted his hand to wave off Regulus Sirius one last time. Regulus grinned at them from where he stood in the entrance to the main building together with a mess off red headed boys Remus remembered as the Weasley's and Prewett's.

When Remus saw a tall, ice-blonde boy appear behind Regulus he flicked his eyes at him. He thought he reminded a lot of his father when it came to appearance, but as he watched as another tall boy, this one with a mess of black hair and round glasses, positioned himself next to him Remus relaxed.

It warmed Remus heart when he saw Harry Potter take Draco Malfoy's hand in his and ultimately make a small smile appear on his lips. Draco didn't resemble Lucius that much when he smiled.

Remus swallowed the lump in his throat when he thought about James and Lily's suspicion that Harry and Draco dated. It all reminded him so much of himself and Sirius, and suddenly he wondered if they shared the same cabin, perhaps they stayed in cabin 7?

"Bye dad and dad!" Regulus exclaimed happily before he pressed himself inside the entrance, past Harry, Draco and a Weasley-kid Remus remembered as Ron.

"Dad, why can't _I_ go to Slughorn's camp as well?" Romulus complained as he struggled out of Remus' embrace until he was left to stomp on the ground, ready to throw a tantrum, reminding Remus a lot of Sirius.

"Because you're too young. They don't let nine year olds into the camp." Remus told him as a matter of fact before he ruffled his black hair, making him swat Remus' hands away.

Remus watched as Romulus ran over to complain by Sirius instead, having learned Sirius was easier to budge for the puppy-dog-eyes.

"Dad! Can I go to the camp as well? _Please_?" Romulus pleaded, his amber eyes making the famous puppy-dog-eyes, but ended up getting tickled by Sirius who left Cassiopeia to laugh on the ground by their feet.

"Watch out cause here comes the tickling monster!" He laughed, making Romulus squeal before he took off, trying to avoid Sirius' tickling fingers.

Remus smiled at them. He felt proud.

Though, he found his attention being directed elsewhere when he felt a heavy hand land on his shoulder. Turning around Remus saw Hagrid look down at him, face looking about twenty years older but his kind eyes and smile looking the same as he remembered them.

"Remus?" Hagrid asked, seeming baffled as he blinked down at Remus whose heart jolted in surprise.

"Hagrid!" Remus exclaimed cheerfully before he gave Hagrid's broad frame a hug.

"Remus... It wasn't yesterday I saw ya for the last time. Yer really grown up!" Hagrid chuckled and Remus found himself chuckling as well. He bet he'd grown up quite a lot in the past years. It was a miracle Hagrid even recognized him.

"I remember how ya looked when ya first arrived at the camp, only eleven years old." Hagrid said dreamily. "Then I never woulda believed I would get to see ya wave off a kid of yer own." Hagrid said as his small beetle eyes watered. Remus watched him retrieve a napkin from one of his many pockets before he wiped away the tears on it.

"The years really fly by, huh?" Remus sighed dreamily as he let his gaze linger on Sirius and Romulus who chased each other around the parking lot. Remus shook his head as a giddy smile spread on his lips. He didn't know who acted more like a nine year old; Sirius or the actual nine year old?

"It's nice to see ya again." Hagrid croaked, overly emotional. "It'll be a pleasure getting to know...?" He trailed off, raising his eyebrows expectantly. Remus cleared his throat as he tore his gaze from Sirius and his son.

"Regulus." Remus nodded at him. Remus saw how Hagrid smiled but then startled.

"Wait. Regulus? Wasn't that the name of-"

"Sirius' brother. Yes." Remus nodded.

"He passed away many years ago now. We named Regulus after him." Remus explained as he waved his hand in the air to make a point. He didn't explain the details of Regulus the original's passing, or how sad Sirius had been back in the day. He didn't think he had to. He thought the fact they named their firstborn after him would speak for itself.

"Well, I can't wait to get to know him. If he's anything like you or Sirius, or even like Harry that I've become fond of then we'll have a brilliant summer!" Hagrid bellowed as he patted Remus' back once more, sending him stumbling forward.

They small talked some more but said goodbye when Hagrid found someone else he wanted to greet. Remus made to retrieve Cassiopeia from the ground where she was hugging stranger's legs, or search for Sirius and Romulus who'd gone missing when he spotted another familiar face.

Albus Dumbledore.

Remus stared at him from where he stood by the entrance to the main building, blinking at Remus calmly. Remus thought he looked exactly the same with his long white beard, half-moon glasses and ancient looking robes. It was if he hadn't aged a single day. But he guessed it might have something to do with the fact he was already old to begin with.

But then Remus narrowed his eyes. Exactly _how_ old was Dumbledore?

Remus looked into his calm, blue eyes that twinkled in the light from the sun until he found his gaze lower to Dumbledore's lips when he smiled at him kindly. Remus find himself smile back in response, but then Dumbledore's smile changed. It changed from kind to mysterious.

Remus startled and took a step back. When he looked up he saw that the smile had turned kind again. He looked back into Dumbledore's eyes and made to wave him goodbye when he saw Dumbledore lift his right hand, extend his index finger and then point at his left wrist.

Remus frowned. He looked over his shoulder to see if Dumbledore was perhaps having a silent conversation with someone behind him. But when he found that no one behind him even looked Dumbledore's way Remus turned his head back. Though, when he looked back at Dumbledore he was gone.

Shaking his head, Remus mumbled under his breath. Was he seeing things?

Remus turned around to look at Lily as he remembered a conversation from years back when she'd told him her suspicion of Dumbledore being psychic, but when he found her looking at James dreamily with her hands full of kids Remus turned his gaze back to the ground.

He allowed himself to feel confused for one more second before he ran off to fetch Cassiopeia who clung to a stranger's leg. After Remus had apologized as she bent her away from the leg he crouched down for her to jump up on his back. Then they went off as they searched for Sirius and Romulus.

"Sirius!" Remus shouted at the same time Cassiopeia shouted "Dad!" Then the both of them spotted Sirius and Romulus by the entrance to the main building.

Tsking with his tongue, Remus stomped over there and then gripped Romulus' hand tightly.

"Are you teaching him how to sneak in or something?" Remus asked Sirius who rubbed his neck, looking suspiciously guilty.

Though, Remus gave up all his efforts on scolding him when he remembered how the both of them excitedly had watched Harry slide Regulus the Marauder's Map earlier. The both of them were still down for any mischief, but still. Remus thought Romulus was a tad bit too young for starting sneaking into buildings and such, and that's why he started yanking him in the direction of their car.

"Wait for me!" Sirius laughed as he saw Remus take off with one kid on his back and the other one held tightly with his hand. Sirius caught up to them in a second and when he did he helped Romulus up his back so that he and Remus carried one kid each.

"We must look really silly right now." Remus exclaimed at Sirius who grinned at him.

"You sure? I didn't know you could look else than beautiful." Sirius sang to Remus who felt his cheeks heat up and heart skip a beat. Even after all this time comments like that always made his chest swell with affection for Sirius.

"I love you." Remus heard himself blurt, and before he knew it Sirius had taken a step forward to press a soft kiss to his lips that lightened his body up inside.

"Yuck!"

"Ew!"

Laughing, Remus broke the kiss when they heard Cassiopeia and Romulus complain from their backs.

"What was that? 'Please dads, kiss again'? Well, if you ask so nicely!" Sirius teased, earning him loud complains from their children. Remus laughed at Sirius who made kissing noises with his lips, totally unaware of the scene they were causing as other families stopped what they were doing to stare at them.

They started walking again but stopped to wave James and Lily goodbye.

"Bye Remus, bye Sirius! Have a nice summer and don't hesitate to come over any day for a cup of tea or for the kids to play." Lily said with a fond smile as her green eyes sparkled in the light from the sun.

"Yeah, what she said." James chuckled as he lifted a hand to ruffle his already messy hair. "See you soon, Padfoot, Moony." James said with a mischievous glint in his eyes that made Remus' heart clench in nostalgia.

"Bye Prongs!" Sirius exclaimed cheerfully before the both of them waved Lily, James and their two children goodbye. On their way to the car Romulus demanded to know what a 'Padfoot, Moony and Prongs' were, and they only managed to silence him up by promising to tell him at another time.

When Remus and Sirius had managed to force a laughing Cassiopeia and wild Romulus in the backseats of their car Sirius sat down on the driver's seat as Remus sat down in the seat next to it with a sigh. He was exhausted after the busy morning and their road trip to Scotland, though there was no need for him to pity himself. He felt extremely happy.

As Sirius started the engine and pulled out of the parking lot Remus turned his head to the side to glance at him. He watched as Sirius' profile highlighted from the sunlight seeping through the window, contrasting with his long dark hair.

When Sirius briefly flicked his eyes to Remus and winked at him while he bit his lip Remus quickly darted his eyes away to stare at his lap. He tried to calm his racing heart, tried to tell it that after spending twenty years with Sirius it should learn to calm down around him. But it didn't.

Remus exhaled as he shifted in his seat, tried to make himself more comfortable. He smiled when he felt his chest flutter excitedly and stomach constrict with anticipation when he thought back of Sirius biting his lip. He let out a light, joyful laugh.

He could barely believe it, but he was still as in love with Sirius as ever.

Remus' smile grew into a wide grin when he allowed himself one more glance at Sirius who decided to lick his lips at that exact moment. Quickly, Remus looked away again as he tried to focus on anything else, not wanting himself to get turned on when there were children in the car.

Instead he looked outside the window and let his eyes trace the many trees they drove by. Remus listened to the silence in the car and felt himself start to doze off when suddenly Sirius extended an arm to shove his shoulder, rustling him awake.

"Who wants to sing a _song_?" Sirius exclaimed cheerfully.

"I do!"

"Me!"

Came the happy voices of Cassiopeia and Romulus from the backseat. Remus groaned. He scolded himself for believing that even for a second he could relax in the company of his family that all seems to have taken after Sirius' cheerfulness and incapability to sit still.

"Great! Why don't we let daddy Remus decide the song today?" Sirius laughed as their children agreed from the backseat. Remus sighed dramatically but felt a grin spread on his lips. Sirius was just too silly. Too adorable.

"How about the song; 'My husband is a mutt but I love him anyway'?" Remus suggested, earning him a huff from Sirius as he slapped Remus' thigh at the suggestion.

"You just made that up." Sirius exclaimed before he let his hand creep up Remus' thigh suggestively, making him slap it away, not wanting to cause a traumatizing scene in front of their underage audience.

"How did you guess that?" Remus asked sarcastically. Though, when he saw Sirius pout he apologized and patted his shoulder reassuringly.

"You know I love you right?" Remus whispered sincerely, making Sirius' pout turn into a proud grin.

"Yes, but please remind every other second or so. I might forget otherwise." Sirius said, making Remus have to suppress the urge to nudge his shoulder playfully or kiss him passionately, too afraid of Sirius accidentally steering them off the road.

"Music! Music!" Chanted Cassiopeia and Romulus from the backseat, turning Remus attention back to the original task. He rummaged through their small stack of CD's in the glove compartment until he found his favorite. He put it in the CD-player and then sat back with a smug grin as he awaited Sirius' reaction.

When the song started Sirius gasped as a grin split his face. Remus rejoiced. It was the song they'd played almost every night since it came out, _their_ song that they'd listened to when they wanted to dance or have a great time since back in 1980.

"Gimme gimme gimme a man after midnight!" Sirius sang, joining the chorus. Remus smiled when he heard Cassiopeia and Romulus join in as best they could, their light voices blending with Sirius' darker one.

Smiling, Remus joined in the chorus as well, and then they sang all the way back home to their little house outside of London where they lived only ten minutes from the Potter's.

Remus felt his chest swell with happiness as he pressed the replay button on the song. Here he was in a loud car with Sirius and two of their children. He was loved and admired and he had never felt happier.

And it was all thanks to Slughorn's camp for boys between the ages of eleven and fifteen.

It was all thanks to _Camp Casanova_.

Where he'd first met Sirius.

The love of his life.


	29. Epilogue part two & Prologue

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Reminder: This epilogue is NOT as happy.

**_Summer of 2034_ **

"Sirius, can you pass me the sugar please?" Remus asked Sirius that sat next to him by their small dinner table.

"You're too old now to even reach across the table?" James teased him.

"At least I'm not the one walking around with a cane. Old man." Remus shot back with a smug grin. That silenced James up who muttering turned his attention back to the newspaper.

"You want one or two sugar cubes?" Sirius asked Remus who told him two. He watched as Sirius dropped the cubes in his tea before Remus stirred it with his spoon.

Remus sat back in his chair as he lifted the steaming cup to his lips. He smiled when he saw Sirius do the same, always eager to copy him.

"I can't believe this. You're still acting like a couple of lovesick schoolgirls." Lily exclaimed as she sighing put down her reading glasses on the table. James agreed with her but Remus and Sirius grinned. Remus couldn't help it. It was as if it hadn't passed a day since they first got together nearly sixty years ago.

After taking a sip of his tea, that sadly burned his tongue, Remus lowered his cup back to its plate in favor of picking up his battered copy of Oliver Twist that Sirius had bought for him many years ago. It wasn't the same copy he'd read back at the camp, but it reminded much of it which is the reason he liked reading it.

Remus opened the book and started to read where he'd last stopped meanwhile Sirius, James and Lily discussed something over their afternoon tea. Remus thought they probably must talk about their children, grandchildren, or share some bad words about Peter Pettigrew who they hadn't seen since back in the day when he'd joined an odd cult around the time Regulus Black passed away, when he heard something knock on the kitchen window.

Frowning, Remus glanced up. He startled when he saw what had caused the noise.

It was an owl.

"What's that?" James asked, but when he made to get up from his seat Sirius made a joke about him having forgotten his cane somewhere in the living room, making James grunt, looking irritated, so Remus got up instead. He put the book down before he reached for the window and opened it.

Immediately the snow white owl flew in, successfully making the four of them jump in surprise. They all watched as the owl flew a circle around the room and then settled on the sink right in front of Remus who frowned at it, confused.

"Okay. Who ordered an owl?" Sirius joked. None of them laughed. It was all very strange, and got even more surreal when Remus saw that something was strapped to the owl's leg.

"There's something strapped to its leg. Do you think I should see what it is?" Remus asked.

When Sirius, James and Lily all shrugged, looking as confused and surprised as Remus felt, he decided to loosen the straps and retrieve whatever things the owl had brought with it.

When he'd successfully released the small package and letter from the owl's leg it immediately took off again and flew out the window. Remus blinked in surprise, wondered for a while if he was still asleep, then he shook his head and closed the window again.

He walked over to his chair with the small package and letter in his hand and then sat down on his chair next to Sirius.

"What is it?" Sirius asked, James and Lily joining him, all of them moving closer to Remus as he placed the package on the table and held up the letter in his hand. When he read the text on the envelope he frowned.

"It's for me." Remus said, earning him confused frowns from the others.

"Why would anyone send you mail with an owl?" Lily asked incredulously.

"Yeah, why couldn't they use the mailbox like any normal person would?" James cut in.

"Or send an email." Sirius added.

Remus shrugged. Then he turned the letter over in his hand, his eyes looking at the surface, suddenly noticing it looked very old. The paper was turning yellow and the letters of his name seemed to have been scribbled in some sort of ink since it had faded some.

When Remus made to open the envelope he startled. There was a seal keeping it closed. He lifted the letter closer to his face, squinted to make out the small symbols on the blood red seal. He could make out the tiny symbols of a lion, eagle, badger and... Remus turned the envelope around some more until he could make out that the last animal was a snake.

"What's that you're looking at?" Sirius asked as he peeked down at the envelope when Remus lowered it back to the table. Remus motioned for the strange, fancy looking seal.

"That's odd. Could it perhaps be from some fancy agency or something?" Sirius suggested as he rubbed his chin in thought.

"Perhaps you've received a heritage from an unknown relative." Lily said, but Remus shook his head. All his relatives were dead. There was no one to inherit from.

"Would you open it already? I'm afraid I'm going to get a heart attack if the suspense lasts for any longer." James complained, earning him a scolding jab in the shoulder from Lily.

Remus almost expected for Sirius to scold James as well, like he always did when someone did as much as _look_ at Remus disapprovingly, but he didn't. Instead Remus watched as Sirius moved his chair closer so that they were literally pressing hips under the table. At first he felt moved by the gesture, but when Sirius' prying fingers reached for the letter Remus swatted them away with the reminder the letter was sent for Remus, not Sirius.

Remus broke the seal, brought the letter from the envelope and then placed the small piece of paper on the table. Then he frowned. It wasn't paper. It was something else.

"Parchment?" Lily helped him. Remus nodded before he let his eyes swipe over the letter. He saw a neat, tilted handwriting all over the parchment. It seemed to have been scribbled with ink just as the letters at the front of the envelope.

Remus frowned. The handwriting seemed familiar somehow. It was as if he'd seen it before, though, so long ago he couldn't remember it anymore.

Shaking his head he finally started reading the letter.

_Dear Remus John Lupin_

_I am since long gone by the time you are reading this, but I made sure this letter would reach you on the exact date of twentieth July 1934._

_If you have ever felt like you have forgotten anything, or wondered about some lingering mysteries, all your answers lies here._

_But please do leave some for the others. Something tells me a certain Sirius Black might fancy a taste of it as well._

_I hope you will find my decisions accurate, and that you will forgive me for my past actions._

_Yours sincerely,_

_Albus Wulfric Percival Brian Dumbledore_

Remus felt his jaw hit the table as he read the letter again. His brain worked like crazy as he tried to put the pieces together, but he just didn't get it. He didn't understand what Dumbledore was pointing at.

What was this? Why had Dumbledore sent him an owl? Why had he predetermined the letter to reach him on this exact date? What was so important Dumbledore had to tell him even after his own death?

Remus shook his head as he dropped the letter on the table for the others to read.

Meanwhile Remus thought back of how mysterious he'd always thought Dumbledore had been back at the camp. Even though his memories had become blurry along the edges he still remembered the creepy feeling he got when Dumbledore suddenly disappeared, appeared, or smiled at him mysteriously. It had always felt as if he knew something the others didn't. Something major.

"This handwriting... I recognize it from somewhere." Sirius mumbled as he read the letter. Then he shouted in surprise when he got down to Dumbledore's sign at the end of it.

Sirius slid the letter to James and Lily who immediately started reading it.

"I'll be back." Sirius said before he pulled out his chair, rose up from it and walked away. When he returned he held something in his hand that he placed on the table when he sat back down. Remus felt his cheeks burn from embarrassment, and he shot an apologizing look over at James and Lily, but when they didn't seem to notice anything Remus looked back at the table in front of them.

"I can't believe you kept that." Remus whispered, making sure James and Lily weren't looking their way. Though, they seemed far too invested in the letter to notice anything.

"Oh, come on. How could I not?" Sirius said as he nudged Remus' shoulder playfully. "But that's not the point. Here, look at the note lying next to it. Remember the note we got along with it?"

"Yeah," Remus trailed off as his eyes flickered from the old, empty tube of lube in front of him to the small, now yellow, note lying next to it. He picked it up to look at it and when he saw the handwriting he gasped.

"Dumbledore!" He hissed, surprised.

"Yes. The handwriting; it's _the same_." Sirius nodded. "Coincidence? I think not."

"But... How? Why?" Remus asked as he frowned in thought. "Why would Dumbledore send us this? At the camp for god's sake! Weren't we like, underage or something?" Remus whispered before he shot a glance at James and Lily who discussed something between one another.

"But look here," Sirius said as he placed the note next to the letter. "The handwriting is exactly the same. It almost looks as if it was written around the same time even!" Sirius exclaimed. Remus nodded, but then his eyes found something else more interesting.

"Look here." Remus said as he pointed on the small note where it read _I feel like I owe you this._ Then Remus pointed at a line in the new letter that read _I hope you will find my decisions accurate, and that you will forgive me for my past actions._ "Why do I get the feeling Dumbledore thought he owed me something?" Remus mumbled.

He felt Sirius pat his back before he swiped the hand up and down it a couple of times. "I don't know. I don't understand. Somehow I feel the knowledge that the note and the letter are from Dumbledore just makes it seem too odd to comprehend. I mean, what does it mean?" Sirius sighed.

"So, are you going to open the package or not?" James suddenly cut in, making Remus quickly reach for the lube and throw it under the table, making him wince as the collision with the floor echoed in their kitchen.

"Subtle." Sirius winked at him. Remus grimaced, though then he remembered James' request and the fact he still hadn't opened the small package that came with the mysterious letter.

Remus reached for the small package that lay in the middle of the table and then started unwrapping it. When he was done he frowned. It was a small vial.

"Do you think it's something in it? Like some sort of liquid?" James asked, seeming to be the most curious out of the four of them.

"Yeah, I mean the letter said ' _your answers lies here'_ and since this was the only thing coming along with it perhaps you should drink it or something." Sirius shrugged.

"Wait. If it's any liquid in it you should drink it as well Padfoot. Dumbledore said to leave some for ' _Sirius'_ as well." James cut in as Remus rose up from his chair to fetch two glasses. When he sat back down Sirius had opened the lid to the vial and peeked inside.

"It's some sort of liquid." Sirius informed them.

"So we're supposed to drink it then?" Remus asked as he emptied the contents of the vial in to the two glasses. Though, he left some in it in case they would become deathly ill and James and Lily would have to show the liquid for the ambulance personnel.

"Are you really sure you're supposed to drink that? I mean... it's black. Looks poisonous." Lily told them before she leaned forward to take a whiff off Remus' glass. "And it smells poisonous too." Lily said as if it made a difference.

Remus shook his head. He felt himself grow determined. If Dumbledore had thought this important enough to send Remus after his death then Remus wasn't going to take it lightly, or joke it away. This was obviously something Dumbledore had planned for a long time. It felt important. And perhaps it would answer why Dumbledore had acted so mysterious around him. Remus wanted to know. He felt the need to.

"I'm going to drink." Remus told them as he gripped his glass.

"Sirius, on three?" He asked Sirius who lifted his glass to his lips, his face a mixture of nervous and excited.

Lily grunted and James sighed dramatically. "It was fun to know you while it lasted." James sang, earning him a jab from Lily who hissed "They're not going to die!"

But Remus who suddenly didn't feel as certain hurried to tell Sirius he loved him. And it wasn't until Sirius had told him he loved him back that Remus slowly started counting as he lifted the glass to his lips.

"One, two, three." Remus said, and with one last glance at Sirius he downed the glass and swallowed the content that burned in his throat. He slammed the glass back on the table, and was just about to retch when he felt the world around him tune out.

Remus was about to tell Sirius not to drink it when he stilled.

And then it all came rushing back to him.

He saw the full moon on the night he got bitten, he saw himself arriving at Hogwarts, meeting Sirius, James and Peter, becoming the Marauders. He saw the Whomping Willow, the Shrieking Shack, the Hospital Wing, the Common room, their dorm and them creating the original Marauder's Map.

He saw Sirius, James and Peter become animagi for him, becoming the real Padfoot, Prongs and Wormtail. He saw them playing with him in the Forbidden Forest during the nights of the full moon.

Then he saw pictures of him and Sirius together, joking in their dorm, sneaking away under James' invincibility cloak, kissing under the stars, attending James and Lily's wedding, saw new born Harry, saw the remains of the Potter house in Godric's Hollow, saw Sirius being sent to Azkaban, saw Peter return to Hogwarts, saw the department of mysteries, saw Sirius fall though the veil.

He saw himself plead to Dumbledore for him to help him. He saw how Dumbledore aimed his wand at him. He saw how everything went black.

Remus blinked as he slowly came back to reality.

He remembered it all. Dumbledore had given him a second chance at life. Dumbledore had given him Sirius back.

Tears streamed down his face at the realization, his chest constricted painfully. Glancing to his side he found Sirius staring at him, eyes teary and smile watery.

He felt Sirius take his hand under the table and Remus sighed in relief. He could feel the heat from Sirius' hand warm him up inside, calming him, and he closed his eyes as he took in the feeling of having Sirius this close to him, warm and alive.

He understood it all. He remembered it all. But he didn't long for his past life that had been all too short.

He liked this life better.

Because in this life he had Sirius.

**Prologue**

_"Please"_

_"Please_ bring him back!" Remus pleaded.

"I can't live without him... I, I just can't!" He felt the panic constrict in his chest, tears staining his cheeks. But the man in front of him didn't look the least remorseful.

"I've done _everything_!" Remus shouted, not caring about manners anymore.

"I've trailed Greyback, I've done missions for the order... I've helped you in the fight against Voldemort for over twenty years! Now you have to help me!"

Remus rose from his begging position on the floor to close the distance between him and the man in front of him. Suddenly he hated him. He hated that he had been used like a mere pawn in his game against the Dark Lord.

Remus gripped the man by his robes threatingly, though he didn't even flinch at the contact.

"Bring him back!" Remus screamed the man in the face, voice breaking at the end by a sob.

"I can't." Dumbledore finally spoke, eyes looking at something behind Remus in thought.

"Yes you can! You're the most powerful wizard alive, of course you can!" Remus shouted, desperately holding on to his last hope. Dumbledore had to bring him back. He must know a way.

"No one can bring back the dead Remus. You know that as well as I. No matter the power of the wizard the dead will remain that and should not be disturbed."

Remus let go of Dumbledore's robes in favor of pressing his hands over his eyes. He couldn't stop crying. The pain was too great. The loss too major.

Then he heard Dumbledore clear his throat.

"But... perhaps there is _one_ way." He started, gaining Remus' attention.

"There is? Tell me!" He demanded, furiously wiping the tears from his cheeks.

It would be alright. Dumbledore would find a way. Dumbledore would bring him back.

"It would need a great sacrifice, and it might not work. Though, if you are absolutely certain about what you want I might be able to help you. After all, I owe you from the countless of times you have helped me."

Remus didn't trust his ears; it seemed too good to be true. "I'll do anything if it means I'll get him back!" He pleaded.

"So, I take that you agree to my offer? Even if the consequences might be... severe? Please note that there is no going back. I am only able to help you once." Dumbledore said as he brought his wand from a pocket in his robe and gave it a slow stroke, his eyes looking at Remus mysteriously.

Remus fell to his knees. "Yes, yes! I'll do anything... I- As long as I get to see him again..." His voice trailed off as he watched how Dumbledore aimed his wand at him.

"Here, drink this." Dumbledore handed him a small vial that he'd spelled to fly over from one of his shelves. Remus quickly lifted the strange potion to his lips, not thinking twice about it since he was too eager to meet the love of his life again.

Remus immediately felt himself fall, landing with his back on the stone floor. His head was spinning, clouds blurring in front of his eyes. He tried to lift his hand to steady himself back up but found that he couldn't move it. He was paralyzed.

He flicked his eyes to Dumbledore as he felt the fear flare up in his chest. What had he done? What was Dumbledore planning?

"I hope you will find your new life better. Perhaps destiny will be kinder to you this time." Dumbledore smiled at him sadly as Remus struggled to understand what he was saying.

"The price for a second chance is major. But simple." Dumbledore leaned over him.

"You won't remember a thing." He stated.

Remus' eyes widened. He tried to speak but found that he couldn't. Had Dumbledore poisoned him? Did he think he was too much of a work to deal with now that he would just kill him off?

As the clouds covering his vision got thicker Remus watched as Dumbledore aimed his wand at him.

"You'll be missed here, but we'll manage to win the war without you. I know we will. We've got Harry after all." Dumbledore told him, his expression changing into determination.

With one final look at Remus Dumbledore mouthed a silent spell that made everything turn black.

Remus had died.

... Or had he?

 

**THE END**


End file.
